Dd wants to be treated older than she is...is this common?

[Kfamily]

Dd(6) really associates well with older kids (although she can and does play with youngers-she just prefers older kids) and gets a little offended if she feels like she's being babied (although she does still have her times in the day where she needs to be cuddled and held-and I am always happy to oblige:001_smile:). For example, she was picking her festival piece that she will be starting soon and was not thrilled with what her choices were and finally picked one her teacher had put aside as too much (it has a little pedal work at the end) and asked if she could do it. She wanted something "for a big girl".

This has actually been true to her personality for awhile. I learned very quickly that the books I set aside as not for her were the ones she picked up to read. So, yes, I have learned to not say anything anymore. Now I am seriously debating if the brand new and not been used Song School Latin will be a waste of our time. I think it is just right for a first grader. I want her to have fun and be little (trust me, we do make sure she gets supported for being little) but she has already turned up her nose (in a nice way-she's not rude about any of this) to the songs in Song School.

:lol: This is how I feel so often. She picks up her sister's Henle and copies work out of it. Is this common? Normal....hmmm probably not normal! :001_smile:How do you balance this?

 

Sorry, I'm rambling...

Edited July 29, 2009 by Kfamily

[lionfamily1999]

Let her go at her own pace. My dd was always ahead, but she spent a lot of time with adults. My older ds is the same way, but my youngest is my baby and while he may be ahead in some things, he's quite happy with letting us baby him.

 

Let the girl shine! As long as you keep a lid on adult content, she'll be fine and holding her back now, might hurt you in the long run.

[Kfamily]

Thanks Julie, it is really comforting sometimes just to be able to share this and hear supporting comments and advice. This is such a balancing act. We always have a lot of extended family time in the summer and she feels left out because she is "the baby"-well, not anymore, we just had a new niece added to the bunch but she's only 6mo. I can't decide about the latin so for now I just keep putting it off but I'll have to deal with it next month.

 

Thanks for the encouragement!:001_smile:

Edited July 29, 2009 by Kfamily

[Jen in PA]

She sounds a lot like my dd, who turned 6 earlier this month. And we had been planning to use SSL, too, and ended up switching to Minimus because she wasn't so big on doing a program that involved so much auditory learning. Since she gets to work at her own pace at home, I don't think she feels like babyish things are forced on her too often, but she is quick to complain when she does notice anything she feels is "beneath" her. We have had a few instances where family members sent boxes of goodies for the kids, and I had to pretend that the items she considered to be babyish were really intended for her little brother (he actually likes Care Bears, so it has worked out so far:D). It's a constant balancing act to challenge her enough academically while allowing her to just be a 6-year-old the bulk of the time.

[Kfamily]

This helps too because Minimus was next on my list and I think I'll have to take the loss with this one. Finances have been strained this year and I really didn't want to buy something new and lose the cost of what we have but I think I need to do this. I had considered adding to it but I think I should just sell it for what I can and then purchase Minimus for her. Thanks!

 

I know just how you feel about the gifts. It's really hard here since my older dd is 12. My older dd got some really neat art gifts and dd(6) really liked them too. She's so sweet and gracious about her own gifts but I see her face when the gift giver has left her side. She does like her own gifts usually but she really likes my older dd's gifts. It combines with the adults' reactions too. For some reason the adults really spend time admiring the gifts of my older dd and of course are not as impressed with little girl gifts...this is one example of the minor disfunctions of some of our extended family!:D

I remember this past birthday we got her a large map of Narnia and she was so thrilled that we got it for her. She loves the Narnia books and movies! She couldn't believe we got it for her and not for older dd.

[lionfamily1999]

You know, I've never used song school, so I'm not sure how it works, but you could use it even if she won't sing. IOW, have her recite it like a poem instead. There's no need to chuck the baby with the bath water :)

 

And believe you me, money's so tight here, I've turned in my curriculum and now I'm wondering how in the world I'm going to get all the books. We had a few duds that I did give up on, but for the most part I figured out how to make them work for us and just skipped the things I really did not like.

[Kfamily]

Yes, I think I will take another look at it and see if we could still make it work. If not, then I'll get Minimus but I do want to see what I can do with it first.

 

:001_smile:

[Donna]

My dd (just turned 7yo) always wants to be treated older. She also prefers to be around older people and through her music tends to be around adults and kids closer to twice her age most of the time. People always comment on her maturity. Recently she attended a fiddle camp and took a daily class that met for 2.5 hours with adults and older teens and was able to focus the entire time. Before her birthday she told everyone she was 6 going on 17. She still plays with agemates and enjoys their company but if she had to chose...

 

I challenge her with her schoolwork where she is. I tend to steer her towards classics for reading as they can have more mature topics without questionable content.

[Mommy22alyns]

Becca was rather annoyed when she was classed as "K" at VBS. They went based on the grade that was just completed, and in Becca's mind she's a second grader. She gets downright furious if I insinuate that she might need work like Sylvia is doing (K work) instead of "her" work. :001_huh:

 

But at the same time, she didn't consider SSL to be beneath her (probably because she doesn't have a big sister's work for comparison). Now if I use SSL for Sylvia in two years, she might have a problem with it because she's enjoying it now. Becca can have a very young spirit, whereas Sylvia seems older at times.

 

KFamily, if you decide to use Minimus, check out their site. I don't know if you've seen this link, but it's very helpful. http://www.minimus-etc.co.uk/index.shtml

 

I just ordered the first set of minibooks too. I don't really want to go with the TM for Minimus because it's so expensive and the glimpses I've seen look to have a lot of writing assignments. I'm really going to be winging it with Minimus as soon as we finish SSL (and we have 3 chapters remaining - wish me luck!).

[Kfamily]

Thanks Amber for the link and info about Minimus-I'll look at this.

Truthfully, part of this is my own fault. I bought and planned to use SSL for K but since her writing skills were still developing I thought we could just listen to the songs and do the work orally for K and then write in it the following year.This was not a very good plan...:D! She caught up quickly with her writing skills and now I realized we should have used it when we first started it. So really I think this is all my fault not partly my fault...:lol:

And yes, the older sister thing plays a huge role in all of this. My girls have a lot of years between them but even with that there are still some problems creeping in. My older dd plays piano too but recently her teacher had her stop doing her Suzuki books particularily because younger dd was "hot on her heels" and will be finishing volume 1 and starting 2 in the same year older dd was starting volume 2. Reminding my older dd that she did Suzuki on the side and started piano later than younger dd doesn't help. She just sees little sister catching up!:001_smile: I'm so glad their teacher was perceptive of this and encouraged older dd to go her own road with piano by stopping the Suzuki volumes and focusing on her other music only.

Edited July 30, 2009 by Kfamily

[zaichiki]

Dd (7) also prefers the company of older kids. I think part of this is that she's always spent so much time with her older brother and his group of friends. She's always tried to play with older kids. She will play with younger kids, but she sort of "mothers" them. She tries that with 6 and 7 year olds all the time. Dd gravitates towards the 8-11 year old girls if given the choice. She's also very tall for her age, so she looks the part. Most 8-9 year olds just assume she's "one of the pack." As dd gets older, though, I think I'd prefer she socialize with kids her own age. There's so much more, socially, that teenage girls are involved with... I don't want her into that until she's older. But HOW would I encourage an "age correct?" I have no idea!

 

Ds (10) has a couple of friends who are 11 and 12, but he also does well with 9 and 10 year olds. He doesn't seem to feel that pull to be around older kids. In fact, although he's tall for his age (just shy of 5'), when he sees kids his height he *knows* they're older/out of his league. At the park, when I point out a group of kids his height, he'll tell me "No, mom, I can't just go play with that group. They're probably teenagers."

 

Ds (3) plays with other little kids, but he spends so much time around older kids, too. Of course, he *loves* being the "baby" of the group, so it's not that he tries to "fit in" with the older kids.

 

It's so interesting to me that my kids approach this socializing experiment so *differently*! :)