If you have had multiple children IQ tested...

[Melinda]

How do you keep from comparing them and expecting more from on than another or pushing one harder than the other?

 

At this point, we have not tested, but this is one thing holding us back from doing it. I am worried that I will end up treating the kids differently according to their IQ scores.

 

Does this happen or am I way off here?

[EKS]

I've had both of my son's IQs tested. They are 6 years apart in age and the older one has had his tested three times, starting at age 7, because he is 2E. One of the reasons that I decided to have the younger one tested is to be able to say that everyone in our family has IQ type testing done at age 7, so that the older one didn't start to feel like he was being singled out.

 

As for treating them differently, since the overall IQ results confirmed what I already knew about each of them, I was already treating them differently out of necessity. For example, with his learning disabilities, the older one was not reading or doing any math at age 7 while the younger one has been reading since he was 2 and doing math since he was 3. What's helpful is that the older one, now 6 years later, is performing mostly well above grade level and is feeling pretty confident about his knowledge and skills, and he is not feeling disgruntled about his little brother's successes.

 

One thing that was helpful about getting the younger one's IQ tested is that I found out that on the verbal part he was run of the mill gifted, but he ceilinged the perceptual reasoning part. I absolutely did not expect this--I expected them to be at least reversed and I was prepared to have the perceptual score be in the average range! So there you go--you think you know somebody, and look what happens!

 

I don't know if this answered your question, but there it is.

[Melinda]

Thanks, Kai. Yep, that answered my question. :)

[Mandamom]

I have had the same experience. I was already treating them differently, due to academics and personality that getting their testing just confirmed (well a couple of surprises) what we were already doing.

[purplecow7]

How do you stop comparing them with regard to their IQ? I have 4 children and I compare them, not just not on their IQ but everything. This one drop training wheels at 4, this one at 3. My twins age 5 have not dropped theirs yet. It is normal. Do I treat them differently - yes I do because they are unique individuals. Does it mean I love one more then the other - NO Do I think one is better because they dropped their training wheels at 3 and the ones that have not worse. NO

 

I have had two of tested and two that I have had tested yet, but will. My children are not defined by their IQ number. The test did not define them, they are the same children before they took and the after. We tested them to get them GT services in PS. They both have unique learning styles and my children are not globally gifted. One is amazing in reading and writing and one in Math and analytical skills. Both are amazing kids. We talk to them about how they may learn faster them some of their friends, but everyone learns.

[JenneinCA]

As odd as this sounds my older kid's WISC IV scores were the same. Their subscores were different but the overall number identical. Does this mean I get to treat them the same? Nope. My daughter is a book loving artist. My son is an inventor and builder. She would rather not do messy things or build stuff. He would rather play in mud. She thinks of books as her best friend. He would play video games all day. She likes quiet. He likes to scream. They are fantastically different in almost everything. I would never dream of treating them the same, they are just soooo different.

 

And the little guy is different from both of the older ones. He is forging his own path. I will be amused if he were to test to the same number as his older siblings, but I wouldn't be very surprised. Nothing about these kids is normal, not even this.

[brownie]

I had my older 2 each tested at 6. Their composite score was identical and the peaks and valleys all identical although one had a somewhat bigger discrepancy between verbal and analytical. Baffling bc we always question how they can be related...they are so different! IQ doesn't tell all or even much of the story, but it can be helpful info. We found the Working memory and processing speed to be much more useful info than the general IQ. Brownie

[Reya]

I don't need IQ tests to know that DD is way smarter than DS and doesn't suffer from his language handicaps.

 

She's also ten times the pain in the backside. :-)

 

I expect DS to do his best and will expect the same of DD. Yes, they will be in different places at different times. DS loves math and science. Maybe DD will love books and history. We'll see. Different kids, different outcomes.

[zaichiki]

Well, they have different strengths and weaknesses (with or without the IQ scores to "prove it"). But honestly, my kids full scale scores were so close...

 

And you have to remember that the scores can be a bit variable depending upon the tester, the kid's "day," etc. I have a few friends that had their child's IQs tested on different days with different tests and got scores that were different enough that they should have represented two different kids! So, take those scores with a grain of salt. The number doesn't really represent the child.

 

The subtest scores give the best kind of information. My kids' subtest scores were really different from one another (even though we're talking about two kids scoring HG). Interesting, isn't it?! Actually, I LOVE reading all the technical stuff about the subtests, how the tests were normed, what the various IQ tests are really testing and how their scores compare to one another etc. (Weird, I know. hoagies has some great links!)

Edited July 7, 2009 by zaichiki

[lionfamily1999]

How do you get IQ testing done? Dd had her's done at ps, but I'm interested in getting older ds tested.

[EmilyK]

With respect to getting testing, there are licensed professionals who do this, often as part of being a child psychologist, I think. I think I found some recommendations on a local gifted list. My older son had been tested in school, but hadn't done well (we found out later that the group testing wasn't too accurate for many younger kids) and when he wasn't being challenged academically, and wasn't performing as expected in school, we wanted private testing to figure out what was going on.

 

I've been debating about this issue for my younger son (7)-- thoughts welcome. He is *so* different than his older brother (10). Probably a mix of temperament and wanting to occupy a different space. The older one is way more like me and so it is easier for me to understand his learning style, and he's way more interested in academics and eager to please. The younger one I adore but he's a mystery to me, and he's less interested in academics so everything's a struggle. He does have good general knowledge for his age, and he picks up a lot being around for his brother's academics. But I don't have a good perspective on him -- I would say he is bright, but not super gifted like his brother -- but maybe that's because I don't see his style of being gifted.

 

I'm not sure what testing would cause me to do differently so that's why I put off testing. I don't really need IQ numbers as much as I'd love someone to enlighten me to his learning style and how to reach and motivate him. :001_smile:

[OneRoomSchoolHouse]

I just had my dd(7) tested for Dyslexia, etc. The IQ score showed she was very gifted, but is having an "output" issue. They say it is a simple fix. If I had not had her tested, I would have gone on to believe that she was Dyslexic. This will really help to change the way I teach (right brained) to the way that she learns (left brained). I think it is important to know because I know that she is capable of accelerated learning, and will help her to reach her potential. Alot of the time she is lazy and I was allowing her to get away with it becuase I thought she wasn't capable of learning the material, now I know better! :glare: