I do think she has seizures. I think that's what the eye darting is. They just got her glasses. Haven't seen a diff but its only been almost 2 weeks. I have no vision therapy exp. But I'm going g to be investing more with my 11 yo in Jan. I think it was missed by ppl and I didn't know it existed fil these boards. The therapists said they didn't see where he would need it but I could purseu personally but was very expensive . Gonna pursue in the new year

Kolamum, That sounds like something to look into for sure. Thank you. Never heard of thst. I will Google it. Yes. I do feel like sometimes my hands are tied cuz she's not my child, yet, daughter is...ugh. Idk I'm going to talk to DD and have hubby talk to sil. Sil in the beginning couldn't understand why we wouldn't pay their ins lol. And got mad ugh. My daughter was of the mindset. Why would they pay our ins??? We cut the umbilical cord for him and he wasn't happy ha-ha. His parents just threw money at everything . no time spent together etc. He understand s now, we support them and will help where we can, but cuz we love him....and them...we let them have their building time as a couple together. So. He's good with that now. So, we don't want to alientate him. But...ugh. I'll talk with her Tues. In question form and hopefully she will decide what she wants or needs help with and what they are going to do about it. Honestly?, I'm seriously afraid when she hits private prescho? They are going to look at it n go...hmmm. Why? You 2 county workers who see alot?? Haven't gotten your child services? That's a big fear of mine.

Yea. She doesn't do alot of this stuff for me I think a big part if it is styles in living. Ex: Right now I have 2 box communities lol. Each boy made a series of comex ( to them) towns. Complete with an elevator lol. Then I have playdoh that the grd loves on the floor with her tools. She's playing with it. Then there is the recycled bed board where we measure their heights and date it. The boys are coloring the board with markers decorating it. This would drive my daughter insane. She just now was able to handle play doh in her house. So... It's partly...the grd isn't enganged at home. We really don't see much at all of the fits here. And I make her take turns etc. The ocd is vetting the best of my DD at the moment so. Do what I can. I'm going to go the question route Tues. And the gifted route. I think my daughter would be way more willing to make that first call....have me get the ball rolling...something. Hopefully she can make a decision.

Example: Sil calls ( and this has happened several times) and says I have a test tmrw or a final to study for and I can't. She's cryin n screaming and I need to focus. Can you please meet me and get her for the night. What are we supposed to say? No? I mentioned earlier uo, they are both in school . like...rwal college. 2 jobs and a house , all ,= work. They are spread thin asking for help. Sil , academics do t come naturally to him lime they do my DD so he works extra hard. Bes trying to prove I to her and himself he can do it. And be a contributor to the family. You know this situation s where one spouce is more successful than the other? Hes trying to do well too.

Momathawk. I've really o ly done what asked to do. My daughter hates asking for help. Thsts why if she's coming to me this way repeatedly , she needs it. I'd love for the granddaughter to be with her mom more and dad more. Just right now. Not happening and I'm asked so.... I do what I can and hope they will do more when thy have her. At times , I've almost begged her to spend more time with her DD. What am I supposed to do?? Rollin with it right now and trying to figure out best way .

http://ecommerce-prod.mheducation.com.s3.amazonaws.com/unitas/school/catalogs/2016/flipbooks/2016-everyday-mathematics-catalog/files/mobile/index.html#4 I just found this. I think it's new. Says it is but I can't read the fine print ( no laughing lol) Anyway. You mentioned something visual in the computer or tablet or something. I'm going to check it out and pricing and samples. I have to vet the print version tho. I'm a ' I need the book in front of me person ' :) I think I will have to use some of these things with him.

No I'm not any good with that. It's a really good idea. I'm bookmarking this thread lol. I would probably go to the marines official site. I know army terms. They are different things with each branch. Don't learn an army term tho! Lol Army an marine s love go rag each other. He'd probably hear about it in some way lol. That's what I would do. Is this like a marine version of ROTC? Is he a highschowr or younger or older?

Oh I didn't even really know what workboxes were until I went to thst link. I tried a variation of thst with my oldest son. No LC. And they were full of rocks and beads and trinkets bed found at the river ,lake backyard w/e. My 2 right now would have them ...well. Just wouldn't be good lol. Good system tho. laundry with their own bins stacked worked really good for us when I bad 6 kids here. Invaluable actually lol

Sbgrace , honestly, she's so classic everything my 11 yo was when he was little. And an important thing to nite here is, This , my ,11 yo is the one my daughter makes me promise she vets if something happens to her dad and I. They were close. She helped him and me with stuff. We all pitched in. She knows, she's been thru it all with us. Hence, she knows I'm capable to help her in this right situation and she needs it. So... I do what I can. We all do. My 11 yo included. My daughter helped me with him. He's helping with her daughter . My daughter made that analogy thanksgiving . was a really good day. Best ive had in a long long time. :) So, I think right now? May daughter thinks the dmamage is at a minimum being mittigated to some point anyway. Vs. Other stressors that direction need ATTN right now.

They were a lil mifded when we had them do more on their own. I think it was mostly sil. But daui sometimes yes sometimes no I think

Sbgrace, I've thought alot today and carefully considering all of it. I am gonna make a prediction on what my daughter might say. Mama, was wondering when you were gonna say something. Lime, she will think what I'm doing with her, is satisfactory at this point where she and there child both are. Maybe not, but I could see it going that way . I can now. Thinking ...helps. Thanks guys Ps. I'll die a thousand deaths if that's what she says. Then, I shoulda said something sooner. Ugh. I want the exact scripted manual! Lol. Not as easy as a curriculum anymore with the adult children.

She didn't get el. I'm sad about it. What can I do? Nothing. That's what I'm saying. I sit here and watch the train in a collision course. Bigtime

Esp. When she already gets sick enough as it is. My daughter thinks its because in their jobs they bring home alot of gtundhe. May be. Who knows So they need their sicktime for their own sick RSS and hers when its bad cuz my daughter calls in.

Tries/ thinks he being careful about not overloading us, his mom cNt deal w it and sends her back early. Well if that's been their childcare solution at the time. They depend on it. It's hard to call in sick sometimes b/c you have no childcare for that shift. When they r both on nights for days at a time. ....and a child who doesn't sleep...yea. That's tough. But. They have to make other arrangements and right now for both of them and where they are....i think help is warranted. Lime. Thwy r both ready to break. I don't want to see them break. So. We thru life preserver to em lol

Oh. My daughter has her on film from things she does with her. They are way worse with her but I think because I'm a looser parent. You have to be flexible or go nuts. So right now they have all the doors wide open. ( driving hubby nuts lol) Running through the house. Havin a blast. Tracking in sand. ( we run fl) The radio on the porch too high for my liking. But. Hey. I guess I'll deal for awhile . Music and fresh air and ru ning over n over again? Love it lol.my daughter would never let her DD do it. My daughter straight up says...her ocd is getting to her. So, I'm helping. More than I did before and I wish they would purse other options too. But as long as she/they are in this amount of need, we have to assist. There's letting them find their own way..lime when they were in ky and first got home. Big transition . see felt it was some of our early hard times they put us where we are today ( I don't always like what he says or does but ..he I too I'm sure lol) So, they did and they did good and they have done alot together. Right now. So much going on. Thwy are more stressed than ever. Whata the line if letting them go find their own way( they bend) Or not throwing our a life preserver when u see hey....they are seriously sinkin here. And they are not opposed to the help and actually ask. My Sil is always careful to not or wait

Oh sbgrace....I love you lol :) thank you for that I so agree. And momathwk. Yea. I'm not sure how or what to do about thst. I could sure use more time for my boys and will need to around end if Jan. When they have others keep her. It's a problem. For someone. The caregiver , dd and Sil perception of what anyone may be saying. I think he really wants to be a better dad right now. I think if he will step up to the plate ( and we....let them work it out with out any input from us. I did not want to go there with anyone. O was jus around if they needed ys. They soent a year and a half in ky. That's where she had her baby. I went there a lil before and some after , after they were good. The military docs have been saying things since she was in utero. She has a document that says it. They have done somethings when she was smaller but, we made them make the decisions. Leave and cleave. Good for a marriage. Was hard for em tbo.

Hey....I'm jis belpin vet ber ready. I do what I can. I have 2 at home thst need help. My hands are full too. I can usually jus fd ber right in with the boys. Won't kill her. She likes it if she can touch it lol...and I still get the boys done. They need preschool anywhere . I could offer again with both of em together. I think Sil is tired of my daughter cutting him out and maybe wants to take more of a role. He's payin his dues for fir some things lol. He knows it. She knows it.

They will def got s wall putti g ber there. She's an old one. Will start late. = another wasted yr.

The school part, They want to put her in a private school in county. Sil is a cop there. In his zone so... Yea. He's by thst daycare at least once a day when he's on days. I just thought . they had to have mentioned it to him? Right? Maybe not tho? Maybe they are idunno. The cops uniform . they may be thrown off by it idk

OhE. Headache. I hear ya. Almost 2 weeks and an underlying migraine stays in the back or...full on own. Lol I no likey headaches :) Oh no way dad or mom would open their home to that. I'm sure of it. Nope. Cop and paramedic. Oh and wait....she starts fire school in January. She takes all the dlfree school she can get. This sux lol I want a vacation :)

She has friends she can think about sitting down w the notebook... She's written in it too. I just had a thought. Omgoodness. We need to have separate notebooks. I'll give her mine when she asks or goes to ber trusted friend or doc .

I know , paid help. Hour right. Ugh. So dislike thst part. Why is all of this soooo expensive and be so heart wrenching. I think it would be easier don't you think ? :/ Ugh. But really guys. Helped me alot. Any other thoughts are welcome too. Helps me to put thst on paper n see. Also why I think if my daughter could have 2/seconds to go over her notebook with someone. She knows ppl in the field who she trusts to look at it with her. That's gonna be one of my questions to her. She's j

Oh. Lol I thought you meant the pediatrician appts for colds ( alot of and one reason they don't like a ton of time at daycare , she stays sick.) Sigh. I hate these times. Where you either really just wondering up putting your kids *stiff* on out there. There's jus deeper background. Hubby is,....a cop. VERY overprotective . to the point as to alienate ...people. She has been in a bad spot for years. Just came to her dad and I about more stuff. It's complete and we've recommended counseling together. He won't go. Never would, but considering lately. He loves his wife. So... Idk. But the lil one while they sort it out....needs help. I wanna be delicate here. That's why my daughter. Man. I should maybe delete. Tho. A big part of me me thinks.... She would maybe read and consider. And when she was ready to talk about it. ...she will. Maybe she won't read this. I dunno. She's busy. Probably not. Still... Thank you ladies for all of your help. It is all help and I need it. Iys why I asked you all. There are other places I could have gone. I wanted to hear what all of you had to say :) Thanks... A bunch :)

Storygirl, I've read your post a couple times. I think you are right . I think my daughter just simply cannot handle the call making right now, the emplimentation of it. She gets overwhelmed with online stuff , making calls, etc. When she's doing it for school everything just seems like such a hassle and a definite maze to sift through . I think...she's just very bogged down right now. The Christmas break for both their schools start next week. May e she can be more relaxed and have more time to think about it and what help she does need. She simply...may not know.

The other thing about this is... There aren't alot of people we can leave our kids with that have issues lime this. So, I've been there , I know how it is. Only my adult children or my sons gf are the only ones I can leave my 2 lil guys with. Most ppl can't handle it. And why I can't turn my daughter away. I would love to be able to leave my kids with my mom. I can't. She can't deal with it. My daughter knows I can deal with it and won't judge her in the process and won't complain about it. Her other grandma simply jis can't deal. And I get it. ....unfortunately... I get it :/