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Everything posted by swimmermom3

  1. I am out of likes, but thank you so much for this post. The bold sums up exactly how I feel about both euthanasia and abortion. I don't think that condemnation to hell or societal shaming (like with suicides) and incarceration are constructive methods of reducing the occurrences. About the cost of medication, it's not unusual for young adults to go without their medication, because they don't have insurance or that high deductibles make the cost very prohibitive.
  2. For me, I do believe that having a framework of belief/moral conduct/philosophy that is external of self is an important factor as a stabilizing force - I think. Because my "belief system" is a mixture of what I value and respect in my birth faith (Catholicism), readings from other faiths, and personal experience, I am not exactly sure I could define it as external, because it is personal. And yet, I believe that I have a place in a larger cosmic system, if you will. My actions and choices affect others and I am not simply free to do whatever I feel like doing, especially if it harms others. When I am reading inspiring works or out in nature, I feel more "grounded" - mentally healthier.
  3. Do highly religious societies truly value human life more than secular societies? I don't think the entire question can be based solely on whether or not a society allows abortion. I have heard more than one congressman express the sentiment that a woman caught having an abortion should be hung. If Christianity were the state religion, I am not confident that lynching members of the LGBTQ community would not be seen as a religious duty. Many depraved and inhuman atrocities have been committed in the name of "faith," as have many acts of courage and compassion. Many secular policies have been crafted in response to negative practices promoted by religious beliefs.
  4. I believe that I am part of the human cycle and that each of us leaves a footprint, for better or worse, on the world historically as a whole. I hope that I am leaving a positive footprint. With regards to death, if I were to suffer from something like ALS, I could quite possibly chose to end my life as I do not see my mind being wholly present in a body that is nonfunctional to be a gift to anyone. I don't believe that my suffering serves a greater good. The fear of eternal damnation doesn't seem like a great life motivator for me. I am trying to respond respectfully to your question, T.
  5. I don't know many agnostics or atheists that prescribe to the viewpoint expressed in the first bolded paragraph. If I were to generalize, several of the "nonbelievers" on this board often tend to express great compassion and love for their fellow human beings and to believe that each life is significant. There is a greater sense of interconnectedness and often, not always, far less grim judgement. I have seen a great number of believers who lack empathy and compassion for anyone not in their religious circle. I do not treat others with kindness ( I acknowledge that I am nowhere near perfect in this) because I fear eternal damnation, but because, I don't take pleasure in hurting others. It's not the legacy I want to leave.
  6. Thank you for sharing this perspective. (((hugs)))) My daughter has struggled for 10 years and even when things appear to be going great on the outside, the battle can be raging on the inside.
  7. Every blinkin' medication that is prescribed for alleviating depression or anxiety, carries that warning as do many that have nothing to do with treating either. It's very important to read those depressing pamphlets that come with your new medication and track changes in your mood. Be especially vigilant for your young people.
  8. You are very fortunate. On the other hand, an extended family member was put through extensive church "counseling" in his teens to eliminate his "gayness." Can't say that this experience improved his mental health.
  9. Those that are bipolar can experience "mania." On the upswing, they feel invincible and like the world is truly their oyster, but there are points where they are cognizant that the down side is coming and often that crash is incredibly painful. It takes good counseling and persistent building of positive thought patterns to manage the crash.
  10. Possibly, but not necessarily. The 16 yo old son of a friend used his father's gun. The family stored their guns responsibly, but a young person (actually anyone) who is committed to the idea of suicide can become very resourceful resorting to methods and actions that on a good day, would never cross that person's mind. In our home, the planned method for one of our young adult children was to use OTC medications. All OTC and razor blades were stored in a locked safe. This is helpful if the suicidal urge is "of the moment." However, it does nothing for a prolonged episode, where a mile walk to the store would provide everything that was needed.
  11. Many of the medications that are used to treat depression and anxiety can have an opposite reaction in adolescents and young adults. Ethically, we cannot conduct medical trials on this age group. Choosing a medication can be a complete crap shoot and can increase the likelihood of suicide.
  12. Remember that like an individual, the U.S.'s credit rating can be downgraded - although, historically, I think 2011 was the only time this has happened. Quill, I think your question is a great one. I was wondering how or if cutting the corporate tax rate will affect the debt level?
  13. I don't know if I can put my thoughts together coherently on this connection. It may be misguided to believe that "something" has changed and it is a symptom strictly of modern times. Historically, there have always been "outlets" for young men. A group of young white men could get together and lynch a young black man and it was "okay." We have often sent "troubled" young men into the armed forces, hoping that discipline combined with violence will "straighten" them out. Violent men took themselves west in the US to wreck mayhem on the native population. The Crusaders had the Church's blessing. The type of firepower readily available makes mass shootings much easier as an "outlet" for rage, revenge, and/or despair.
  14. I am not sure you can take guns completely out of the equation. In our culture, guns are "equalizers." They give the perception of power to those who feel less powerful or powerless. Gun culture dictates that they are "cool" and "sexy." Many of the young men who are school shooters are often of at least middle class. Does a sense of entitlement come in to play? I don't know.
  15. One of the three schools he is looking at listed the GRE as "optional," but GRE scores are in part what determines some scholarships.
  16. This man's life is going to be a living hell from now on. Before I threw gasoline on to the fire, I would need to have more information. When the 16 yo son of a dear friend, committed suicide, he retrieved the gun from a locked gun safe. I think kids who have regular access to firearms, aren't clueless about how to get at those firearms even if parents take reasonable precautions. Now if the Dad stored his loaded gun on the nightstand...
  17. Katy, what do you think has caused the shift in their thinking? Perhaps you live in a more liberal area than I do? I still am not hearing people irl in my area asking for a complete ban, but I sense that patience is wearing thin. I know my own is. I am also mindful that every mass shooting is a highly profitable event for the arms industry. We have had several of these threads in the past year and I don't remember anyone saying the Margaret in Co. couldn't have a gun to protect her livestock. There have been questions about the "need" for 100 guns in your suburban guestroom closet.
  18. This is my first trip back to the boards since the changeover and I am get the same response.
  19. I swear it was just last week that you all were helping me with Sailor Dude's Common Application and sharing the joy as acceptances came in and the great decision was made. However, the fact that Sailor Dude is now officially a senior, tells me I have lost track of time. He is still enthralled with foreign policy and national security and continues to thrive in D.C. He has a few months home with us before leaving in July for a semester abroad in Chile. Because he will be out of the country until December, he needs to take his GRE before he leaves in July in order to meed the application deadline of January 15, 2019 for Fall 2019. How much time will he need to study for the GRE? He did well on his second ACT and has taken several AP and SAT Subject exams, but he tends to be slow without some speed drilling. Sailor Dude has a scholarship and a grant, but those go away when he becomes a grad student. What options are there for funding? I realize that is probably an institution-specific question. What else do we need to know. Ds is fairly good at doing his own legwork, but I still am involved because things have been more complicated and compressed with graduating in three years. Thank you!
  20. With the death of my sister, I am trying to make sure we have an extended family dinner at least once if not a couple of times a month. The numbers can really vary - four of us if it's only my BIL, ten if my nieces and nephew bring boyfriends/friends. This Tuesday, I'd like to do enchiladas and maybe a taco bar. I want to have enough leftovers to send home with everyone. My nephew is 19 and got his first apartment just a few weeks before his mom was hospitalized. I am not really brilliant at stuff like this and would appreciate other menu ideas or recipes that you all would like to share. Thanks so much.
  21. My son's university is known for rejecting students who are applying to the school as a "safety." They want strong students who really want to be there and there are numerous highly competitive schools in the area. If the student lists that they are also applying to Georgetown vs. applying to George Washington, then it's probably a sure bet that the university is not a top choice.
  22. :001_wub: Love to you all this morning. Your responses have been soothing and helpful. I will come back this afternoon, as I have a few questions, but in the meantime, :grouphug: . I am taking my mom to her appointment with her pulmonologist. We have an uneasy relationship and I am anxious. the trip out also means maneuvering her oxygen tank. My fabulous SIL texted this morning with some good advice about recording the session so I could focus and not take notes. Also, that way Mom and I could not disagree about what was said. My sister was a nurse and my mom's medical power of attorney. She either would have taken this appointment or we would have gone over it before and after. When my sister was in the hospital, I decided I wanted to paint her toes something outrageous just to get a response if she was able. My niece took off her mom's socks to display alternating pink and blue (like Easter eggs) toes in all their glory. Karen had beat me to the punch. This morning, I am going to Mom's appointment sporting pink and blue toes. I never paint my nails. The colors are "Teal the Cows Come Home," and "Feelin' Hot, Hot, Hot!" They make me laugh and cry, but give me a little more courage.
  23. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Melissa, I am so sorry. It is a difficult place to be and the older we get, it seems as though resiliency is in short supply. Chopping down a tree with a bow saw and then chopping off the branches seems to me to be a fine example of grace and beauty. It's a suspended space in time where one is not sliding into "the darkness," or my new, preferred term courtesy of Dirty Ethel Rackam, "the pothole of despair." It is a small reprieve. I hope you can find something in this thread that can bring you some peace or a few rays of sun.
  24. I know that I am not the only board member that is struggling right now. My personal life has moved from one crisis to another in the past six months and I've realized that most days pass in a blur without my seeing them or savoring them. What do you personally do to retrieve some grace and beauty for your life? Do you have favorite books, poems, or movies? I know many of you are of deep faith, that is not my path currently, but I am always open to spiritual passages of various traditions - those of beauty or comfort. Do you have photos of peaceful places that you are willing to share? Do you have daily routines that are restorative? I used to journal in the morning and found that books like Simple Abundance were often a positive starting point. It's been so long since I have read something inspiring. Now it's just my teacher training materials. Peace to you all.
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