To clarify, we DO use anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers. Ssri's have caused a lot of trauma in our family.

My ds has bipolar. A ped psych wanted to put him on meds at 7; we waited two tortuous years before surrendering to it. You have saved yourself, and your dd, so much suffering by treating it early. My ds was able to hold it together in school until 4th grade. Does your dd do better in public? Maybe school would be less stress on both of you? I also recommend The Explosive Child, or at least remembering the "baskets." Don't punish her for the storms...she can't usually help it, and she likely doesn't remember what happened during them. In our home we under-schedule, keep a strict routine, regular, high protein meals, early bedtime, no high-stress environments (like Chuck-e-cheese), lots and lots and lots of quiet. For us, ssri's are the kiss of death. I wouldn't go near them until you are under the care of a psychiatrist, and even then, use them as a last resort. PM me anytime.

I believe this thread is about supporting Shannon.

I printed this to read and reread. Thank you!

There are those who know they are children of a loving, and merciful God, and who know their own sinfulness and dependence on grace. These people will love your family through this. There are those who are spiritually proud, and will be scandalized by this. You will be surprised by who abandons you, but those who support you will be 10x more valuable. God is sifting out the wheat from the chaff. We can teach our children, but we can't control them. That's how God feels about us, right? Love your daughter, and help her weather the social consequences gracefully.

Put them in a craft box for kids/grandkids and use to make handmade cards and Christmas ornaments, etc. Or toss them. No guilt. I kept way too much after my dad died. Allow yourself to do that. As time passes it will get easier to let go of material things.

I think whoever planned the banquet was asking way too much of families and children to stay that long. Shame on them. You are AWESOME for staying two hours. I only have two kids, and we seriously might not have made it that long. Your resonsibility is to your family, doing what's healthy for them in each moment, and you made the right decision given all the information you had. I would have left early. I also would have felt guilty. Maybe you could have the coach over for lemonade, or maybe he has notes about what he said that he could give your son.

We have requested the birth records. Haven't seen them yet. Wrote down your book suggestion! These forums are amazing.

Thanks, everyone. Very liberating!!!!:party: I think my husband and I might even open some champagne. He walked around every Sunday saying "Did you back it up? Are you sure you backed it up???"

Did anyone leave HST behind, and use weekly student planners? I can't face the early year input of all the plans, worrying constantly if it's going to crash (that happened early last year, and I had to redo everything), the click/click/click on Sunday nights. Trying to correct things that scheduled wrong. Having old lessons pop up when I go to print a report. Scribbling in a student planner for an hour on Sunday night seems to simple and refreshing. (I only hs 2 kids.)

Hi, We are in the process of adopting a 7yo ds from the foster system. He has had 1 year of 1/2 day kindergarten in a special ed room, 10:4 student teacher ratio. His bio mom never put him in school; he was neglected; still can't read; ED, gets speech therapy, dx adhd on dexedrine and risperdol. Our ps in a block away; I'm terrifed to hs him. Plan to keep him in ps for services at least. Except that they bus some kids to another, nearby school, for some services. I'm thinking that might be too much for him, the bus, the kids, and during this time of year, the tremendous heat. I am checking out local therapists who specialize in attachment issues. After reading all the adoption horror stories on here, we are deciding to give ourselves one year, rather than six months, before finalizing the adoption, and allowing ourselves to fail, hard as that is to say, in case we really can't parent him. Sorry this is long, but if you have the time: 1. I'm interested in diet for adhd (he was sucking down a large Dr. Pepper when we met him (???!!!) ). 2. Seeing if his psychiatrist would consider trying to take him off the dexedrine while adjusting the risperdol and maybe adding a mood stabilizer (this is my bipolar bias). Has anyone done this? 3. What about ps? Is it too overstimulating? Do I need him there in order to focus on my other two dc during the day? 4. Ideas for working on fine motor skills. 5. I'm buying "When love is not enough" today. Anything in particular that has helped you with your adopted child? I've been hammered with "adoption realism" on another thread, so please, this is not the place to tell me about what a mistake we're making.

I'm so sorry. In all of your posts to me about adoption, I have felt how much pain you are in. I am raising a son with bipolar, and am familiar with the judgement; he also was very well-behaved in public. There were times I thought I would have to put him in foster care; if I had known how to do it, or had the energy to pursue it, I would have. It was that bad. Have you tried to find respite care? I would call CPS or a local adoption agency. There are therapeutic foster homes, that could give you a break. If you can't afford it, you could go through the state. I wish I had called CPS during those times....there is a lot of help available for parents in crisis, and they want to make families work. Calling the police or taking her to an emergency room during a crisis could pave the way to the involvement of a social worker. I say that from experience. It certainly wouldn't be perfect, but you have to save the rest of your family. You have to survive for your other children. You have to.

Thanks everyone. You have given me great insights, great practical advice. I need to stop hearing all the horror stories now. We meet the child today....if we do choose to continue, the transition is slow, and we can wait up to a year to finalize. Peace & JOY!

Red file yesterday. Thanks to all of you for helping us form more questions. Here's what I just sent: 1. Can we have an independent evaluation of _____'s needs. 2. Is _____ violent towards his current foster brother? Was he violent towards the little boys (brothers) when he was in foster care with the pastor? 3. Can we talk to his psychiatrist? Is bipolar being considered? (Dexadrine would be very activating if _____ has bipolar.) 4. Can we speak at length with Doc? 5. Can we speak with the previous two foster families? 6. Can we get the same therapeutic training Doc received? Where? At Aask? 7. What kind of respite care would _____ qualify for? Free or subsidized? 8. Would _____ qualify for a medical subsidy with us, after he's adopted? Please explain. 9. Has Doc changed _____ diet? 10. Did ______'s meds change when he moved to Doc's? 11. We would like to see the birth records. 12. Before adoption is finalized, could we do public school part-time, to use services? Homeschooling part-time, to reduce _____'s stress?

I know we get a monthly stipend...will ask today about medical subsidy.

Hitting, kicking, biting, breaking things. We are familiar with these, save the biting, having raised a bipolar child. The incident report/journal which contains these things are from a placement where there were no other children. I am going to ask about what has happened when there are other children in the home.

What sort of professional does "independent evaluations"? Our red file was today. It went well, and we were quite excited, then I read the whole file on my own tonight, after dh went to sleep. Before his therapeutic foster placement, he was tantruming violently almost every day. Don't know what to do next.

Praying.

We are Catholic, did MOH 2 this year, and did not have a problem. Some of the supplemental reading (we used Quest for the Middle Ages from WP) used distinctly Protestant books, so I replaced those with Catholic History books. I also have a dreamy dd....we used ABEKA Arithmetic which is bright and colorful. In 4th grade she hit some trouble and I'm switching her to MUS. She LOVES All About Spelling; I would fill a pie plate with grits or sand or pudding and have her trace the phonemes. LOVED it.

My dear friend does not vaccinate. Her two children are about 4 or 5 weeks into having whooping cough. Her daughter has it quite bad; the whole family is losing sleep dueo to her terrible coughing fits at night. Question: My friend's dd is my daughter's best friend. My daughter, 10, has been vaccinated. Is there any danger of my daughter contracting it? (We have kept them apart the last couple of weeks; my daughter was certainly exposed during the highly contagious first two weeks. They are moving soon, and I'd like the girls to be able to play.)

deleted...double post.

No, I get it, trust me. His social worker told me about the monthly subsidy, and I just kept saying, "Co-pay, co-pay,' since I know how those can add up with special needs, between med checks and prescriptions. I'll ask about medical subsidy. Thanks so much for that.

Okay, they picked out homestudy at today's meeting. We go to the offices Tuesday to read his whole file.

3rd year.