I hope you are starting to feel better. I am also trying to get back into the swing of school with a newborn so I feel some of your pain. My husband and I were joking last night that science is currently being taught by Ms. Frizzle and Jonathan Bird. I don't know if your kids are into marine biology at all, but there are a ton of episodes of Jonathan Bird's Blue World on his YouTube channel and my kids adore them. They have learned a ton about various animals and ocean habitats and most of the episodes are pretty short so they even hold the attention span of my 3yo. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

It honestly never occurred to me that someone might have a SAHP without kids if they had more debt than paycheck and minimal savings. That just seems unwise unless someone needs to stay home with children because the cost of childcare would offset their potential earnings. My DH and I met when we were freshmen in college and were careful not to take on debt (including student loans) specifically because we knew that someday we wanted someone home if we had kids and debt is expensive. I'm not judging those that make different decisions, just saying that it literally never occurred to me that a couple where one person stays home might have more debt than assets as my husband and I have always both seriously avoided debt wherever reasonably possible. We have had a couple partial car loans at points and we do have a mortgage, but we try to pay those off faster than we need to and put down the biggest down payment we could manage. Things like washing machines we have just gone without until we could fix them ourselves or pay cash to replace them. I know that not everyone avoids debt like we do, but most everyone I know with debt has both partners working to pay it off. The only exceptions the person staying home cannot earn enough to offset childcare costs and plans to renter the workforce once the kids are in school. I think that, again, it really comes down to what the couple values. Some people want lots of things that cost money others enjoy things that take a lot of time, but don't cost much money. Some people love cruises and Disney vacations and others would really rather be tent camping. Neither person/family is better or worse, but those that prefer camping will probably spend a lot less on their vacations and be left with more money for other stuff. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The state I live in actually lets you choose from one of two different types of marriage liscense. One is the standard one and the other is actually called a "covenant marriage". The covenant marriage has different rules covering divorce and is much harder to get out of unless your spouse cheats, is abusive, or has an addiction to alcohol, drugs or gambling. The spouse who is having an affair cannot file for divorce, only the one who has been cheated on and they frequently get the lion's share of the assets when they do. A couple can choose jointly to end a covenant marriage, but are required to spend a lot of time in marriage counseling first and then go through a mediator to divide the assets. Even with a more standard marriage in my state alimony is still a pretty normal thing in a divorce where one spouse is working and the other is not or there is a large income disparity, especially if that has been true for most of the marriage and the marriage has been a longer one. Also, here if a spouse is caught cheating the other spouse gets a lot more in the divorce regardless of gender and alimony can go either way depending on who is making the most money. I think that different states and even different cities tend to handle divorce settlements differently and that plays a part in how risky it is to choose to depend on a spouse to be the sole income provider. Here there are huge and politically influential chunks of the population that belong to one or the other of two religions that value children and single income households so judges are more likely to protect that because they are common enough that everyone knows at least a few families with one main breadwinner. Also, as others have said, just how risky it is to trust your spouse not to go off the deep end and divorce you and take all of the money depends a lot on how well you know your spouse and how well you can spot controlling and narcissistic behavior and other mental health red flags. My husband and I dated for over 4 years before we got married and have talked about everything under the sun. His mom is an emotionally abusive narcissist so we have both gotten pretty good at spotting those traits. I have never actually been a straight SAHW as I worked at least part time from home until we got all of our ducks in a row financially and some safeguards in place against job loss and the like. At this point I am really not worried about divorce and the savings is there to make my husband feel better, especially since I have a strong extended family support network if I ever needed it. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Having now read the whole thread and thinking about it for a couple of days I have some thoughts. The OP asked originally what value a SAHW provided to her husband such that it was worth it to him to provide her with everything that she needs/wants without her having to work. This will look different for every family. In many single income families (even those with just a husband and a wife) the person who stays home does things like cooking/cleaning/gardening/sewing/shopping/childcare in a way that saves the family as a whole a significant amount of money. I was reminded of this when at lunch with my husband's coworkers and one of them (who I know makes more than DH does and has a spouse that has a similar income) commented that it was impossible for a middle class family to afford more than two children. Considering that I was sitting there with our 3 children and we were actively trying for a fourth I was momentarily taken aback. The coworker then started to elaborate on all of the costs of children and I realized that the vast majority of them did not apply to is as what I did at home mitigated them or eliminated them entirely. Some of this comes down to the cost saved by not having to pay for childcare, but a lot more (for us) comes down to being able to afford very good food (think grassfed meat, mostly organic produce, dairy, and whole grains) on what the USDA would consider to be a "thrifty" budget. We also save a lot because when a vehicle or appliance breaks I have time to figure out how to fix it or to really shop around for the best deal on a replacement without cutting into our evenings or weekends. This has an added benefit that my husband finds to be the most valuable of all. Because I am home doing most of the cooking, cleaning, fixing, and organizing by the time my husband is home we get to spend some time just talking followed by a leisurely sit-down dinner followed by some concentrated one-on-one time most every evening. We have time to play board games, read books together, play through video games, or just sit and talk for a couple of hours every night, even on week nights. Our weekends can be spent hiking or playing with the kids or working on a bigger project or just sitting in the backyard watching the kids play. Some people find that boring or feel that those things are not worth sacrificing an income for. That is totally fine. Different strokes for different folks and lots of different family set-ups all work. The other major thing that I have seen asked is regarding the financial risk to the partner who forgoes an income to provide these services to the family as a whole. It is a risk, but it is one that can be minimized. Yes, my husband might leave me, but it would take a pretty major change in the character of one or both of us. I do keep a savings account in my name to hedge against this and my husband makes sure that part of our budget goes toward building that account. Yes, my husband might die or become disabled, that is why we have a large life insurance policy and a disability insurance policy as well. To hedge against unemployment we have an emergency fund that will cover basic bills and living expenses for a while and I have no problem working a lower wage job to supplement that while my husband looks for new work if needed. We both know that there are no garentees, but these are enough for us to feel that together we can keep ourselves afloat and the quality of life gained by the extra free time is worth the risk to us. Anyway, this is just my perspective. I hope that reading it will help to show where some families that choose a single income model might be coming from. It is certainly not a one size fits all solution and quite frankly no solution ever is. Further more, for any decision that a person makes someone will find fault with it. It might be worth considering their advice, but in most cases it is coming from their own baggage not something that the listener actually did "wrong". It can be hard to ignore criticism and move on, but it is frequently the healthiest course of action. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

When my oldest was about 18 months I bought one of the Leap Frog letter magnet sets where kids can put in a letter and it says the letter name and the sound. Around age 2 I bought her a pack of foam letters that stick to the wall of the bathtub when they are wet. The letter magnets live on the dishwasher (they'd been on the fridge, but it made cooking dinner hard if someone was playing while I was cooking) so that the kids can play with them whenever and we can talk about them if they have questions or want to play "find the letter" while I'm cooking. All 3 of my kids have known their letters and letter sounds by age 3 just from the exposure, no formal lessons. Colors and shapes are taught as they come up. Things like asking if they want the blue shirt or the orange shirt or a triangle or a rectangle block. I feel like it is more important to let them focus on open-ended play and make sure you have things like play dough and art supplies available than it is to do a formal curriculum at that age. We start a little bit of formal work around kindergarten age for the 3Rs and I start adding more books about science, history , and grammar to our read alouds. My oldest is 6.5 and we are still pretty informal, but every time I panic about how little formal work we do and print out the state standards as a reference she is doing just fine. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Don't forget things like painting, scissor practice, playdough, and sensory bins. All of those build the hand strength and coordination that kids will need later when they learn how to write. It can be easy to say no to messy activities, but I have had good luck containing the mess by getting every kid a waterproof smock and clamping a cheap vinyl tablecloth to the kitchen table which is over tile. I get the kids to help me sweep up the mess when I can as sweeping is a great skill for them to have. Also, gross motor skills like running, skipping, climbing, and riding a tricycle and/or balance bike. Pretty much everything else can be learned by reading good books from the library and playing with cuisinaire rods. A children's librarian can help you find good kids books and Education Unboxed has a lot of ideas for playing with cuisinaire rods. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

We ran into that in our district. DD missed the age cut-off for K by 35 days, but more than met both the academic and social development requirements. I called the district to see if they would be willing to let her try to test in and they suggested that I contact the magnet school for gifted kids in our district. The principle there refused to believe that my then 4yo (who was starting to read and had recently figured out multiplication on her own) might be gifted or that it was even possible to ID a kid as gifted before 2nd or 3rd grade. They also told me that they would not consider letting her start in 1st grade if we did K at home "a year early" and then she tested into first. Apparently testing here is only to hold kids back, not to let them go ahead. We were already leaning towards homeschooling, but that sealed the deal. Our district has big posters up all over our area trying to convince kids to come back because so many go to charter schools instead, but they won't help the smart kids to not be bored... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

We rarely use a number line. The few times I have wanted to explain a concept to DD where a number line would be handy I have used a meter stick and c-rods. It works really well for things like skip counting and DD loved it. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I am told that my county library system is one of the best in our state and I still can't expect to walk into my local branch and grab a specific book off of the shelf. I do have good luck with reserving specific books a week or two ahead of time and then substituting as needed. For example, when I was looking for the Ruth Heller books to introduce grammar concepts our local branch only had one and two others were available from other branches. However, when I went to the nonfiction section to get the one book they did have I found half a dozen books from two other series that taught the same concepts in a similar manner. If I need a very specific book that they don't own for some reason I can request that they buy it or use interlibrary loan. However, it is often easier to simply find another book on the same topic. For books that they have a long waiting list for I will just juggle around the order we cover stuff if need be based on when I can get a certain book. However, we are pretty laid back in our exact schedule as there is always a rabbit trail to explore in the meantime and we school mostly year round taking breaks when we want or need them so we don't have to get something covered at an exact time as long as we get to it. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My older son (almost 4) is very thin and will eat nothing but fruit if we let him. The real breakthrough with his weight gain was to find milk from grassfed Jersey cows which has a higher fat content. I have also had good luck feeding him smoothies made with yogurt and fruit as a drink for breakfast along with scrambled eggs made with butter. I make real mac&cheese which he will eat pretty well. I also make fritters out of leftover mashed potatoes, shredded summer squash, egg, flour and whatever meat and veggie scraps I have. I fry them up in 1/2" or so of oil which the potatoes really soak up and most kids seem to like them. He also likes burritos made with refrained beans, cheese and sour cream. Good luck, my son has just started filling out a bit and I didn't realize how worried I had been until the day I realized he finally had some meat on his bones. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My kids love playing with our balance scale. It is just a cheap, plastic one, but we can measure fluids in it too which might be nice when we get to density. Mostly we use it for talking about greater than and less than using Unifix cubes (c-rods are too light to work well with our scale). I use a meter stick both for measuring and as a c-rod track for things like skip counting since c-rods are each 1cm. For bugs, we just use jars or old, clear plastic containers with holes poked in the top. We have only caught caterpillars so no need for a net yet... My kids are too young for independent microscope use, but when I was a kid I had one very similar to the one in the Magic School Bus kits and loved it, even though it wasn't as good as a real one. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My daughter needs more structure than I am good at providing. We have had the best luck with workboxes. I put them together the night before and then she can see what needs to be done each day really easily. I put a note to "ask Mom" if it is a box she needs me for or a post-it note with directions in each box. She works at the kitchen table so I'm always nearby since our kitchen and living room are all one space. It is much easier for me when she brings me her questions and works at her pace than it would be if I was having to hover and give her each lesson as she is ready for it. We tried it and I was spending all day ignoring the younger kids to teach her. She gets a ton more activities with the work boxes because I have a mix of required subjects and optional activities so there is always another fun box waiting when she is bored. FWIW, I use the 12"x12" scrap booking boxes from Costco since they stack so I don't have to worry about fitting them in a defined space on a shelving system. I have about 15 and I stack up however many I need on the floor. As she finishes each one they go back to the empty box stack to be refilled. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thank you so very much everyone. There is a lot here to chew on, but I think a lot of it will really help both this year and in the years to come. I love the idea of starting slowly with stories that introduce the concepts and then moving on to incrementally teaching grammar. I would love if my kids could view writing as one easy step after another. DD tends to be hesitant about writing anything down because she lags behind a friend in reading and writing. I think that breaking it down into these small steps will really help her gain confidence and thus the practice she needs to really do well. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks for all the suggestions! DD loves both art projects and cuddling on the couch and reading so I think she'll love a lot of these and the younger boys are happy to hang out while I read almost anything so that would be easy. I can't believe I didn't think of copy work for grammar. Dd motors through handwriting books so I think she would like copy work and that would give me something to put in her binder in case anyone ever asks. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

We are in Arizona. Here we have to notify the state we are homeschooling by their 6th birthday and then teach reading, grammar, math, social studies and science. It is up to the parent how to teach and at what level and they don't require record keeping. However, we have a family member who has used CPS against people she doesn't like in the past so I want to make very sure that I have something to point to if we ever have anyone come asking. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk