I'll try starfish at home tonight, depending on how resistant he is. I'm erring on the side of backing right off for the next couple of days, and starting over with the VT on Wednesday.

Yes to both backing off and kid gloves. I tried a modified lying down duck walk where he lay on his back and held the pole (lightsabre), and I manually turned his feet out and walked them up and down for him. Even this was extremely uncomfortable for him, because his shoulders so very badly wanted to turn out! I guess next VT visit I'll have to ask that we either very very gently integrate reflexes with the VT, or be referred on to someone with more expertise. He hasn't been evaluated for EDS, but he probably has it. All his practitioners know that I have it, and that he is hypermobile. So we're all working under the assumption that he has it also.

I forgot to say that until we see the VT again for new exercises, we're going to do seated duck walks. Just thought I'd mention it in case anyone with similar struggles ever finds this thread useful/validating/informative. ETA: Nope. He hates all of it, won't try a seated duck walk, has regressed to hiding under things and signing instead of speaking, except when he needs to share that he's "bored". ETA2: I managed to gently cajole him into Morning Time, and he seemed to relax into his routine pretty happily. I am very relieved.

Thanks for all the links, by the way. I'll have a proper browse through all the information you've provided once I get to the PC. It's a bit too fiddly on my phone.

There's been no mention of dyspraxia, but the optometrist did say that the hypotonicity we're seeing in his hands, for example, is also a problem for the muscles around his eyes. He does have pretty low tone all over. I have Ehlers Danlos, so his low tone and hypermobility might be coming from that. VT said she will give us new exercises for Moro when we see her next, which is in a couple of days. I think I'll ask her to check all the reflexes at the next appointment (I'm not confident doing it myself). Then I'll ask if she can either address all of them, or refer us on to someone who can. I'm getting the feeling that this is not going to be the neat little 2 x 4 weeks experience I was expecting. We're dealing with more long haul stuff.

Thank you so much, Rosie.

I got in touch with the VT by SMS today, because the Moro walks are really difficult for DS and he complained of back pain afterwards. She said to discontinue anything which is making him uncomfortable (um, that would be all of it!), so at least I know that she is being careful not to overwhelm him. I'm glad to find that we're on the same page with that. It's hard to know how hard I should expect/require him to persevere, as he is so very uncomfortable.

Thanks for sharing, MistyMountain. Sounds like we're in for quite a slog. Siiiigh.

I looked into how I might find a behaviourist very early on (well, post diagnosis, so not that long ago), and honestly, I think that maybe they're just not a Thing here. CBT/psychology is where we're headed next. VT homework resistance is abating. I really won him over with that duck song, and he now doesn't hate the star chart with a burning passion. Phewwwww!

Congratulations to you both. What a wonderful update!

There's definitely a bit of this going on. I was speaking to another WTMer on the phone last night, and we pretty much concluded the same thing. DS tends to interpret feelings of discomfort as either physical pain, or boredom. He can be surrounded by cool stuff to do, and still complain of boredom. He can get a bit shouty: "Do something about my boredom!" Which really means, "I'm uncomfortable! You're my mum! So fix it!" I'm trying to fill out our days with things he enjoys. Lots of quiet snuggly time. Many treats. Favourite foods. Etc., etc..

I like the way you put that - "ASD plus plus plus". He really is a complex little thing. Thanks for the reminder. We're doing duck walks and pigeon walks to integrate Moro. These need to happen daily. Yesterday I stumbled upon some inspiration and put The Duck Song on for him. I think I'll have compliance/cooperation from here, because he LOVES it when I pair tasks with music. Winner. Much relief. We'll do duck walks to Duck Song 1, and pigeon walks to Duck Song 2.

Wow. This kid is really putting up a LOT of resistance. We got through two activities for homework today, and quickly took off for an impromptu snack run. He picked out some treats for our movie night tonight. I'm having a lot of trouble filling the stimulation gap seeing as how we've backed right off from academics. This is a child who literally cries with boredom when he's understimulated. So here I am, bumbling on through. Audiobooks are our friends.

Thanks for the encouragement! :)

Thanks for the tip. Nature walks, here we come! Spelling is AAS, and he does all the dictation on a little whiteboard, so it's close, but not super focussed. Math we can do entirely orally.

As far as a schedule goes, I'm thinking... * Morning time Break * VT physical tasks * VT on the PC (Very long!) Break * Maths * Spelling He's used to doing morning time plus four subjects a day, so I think he'll get on board with this plan. Also, we can always drop maths and spelling if he's too tired when we get to them.

She did say to prioritise the reflex work, and to do it daily. I'm pretty sure we'll be addressing others, but we're starting with Moro. I'm checking in with him about headaches. He's pretty good at letting me know about them. I put him in charge of car music on the way to VT this morning, and he listened to an audiobook on the way home. He finds both of these things soothing, so I guess that's our anxiety strategy in action right there. I'm happy to make a habit of post-VT sushi, too. It's one of his favourite foods, and he can be hard to feed when he's anxious, so I like knowing that lunch will be a done deal, iykwim?

This morning's session went well. DS was cheerful and cooperative, but was exhausted by the end of it. We finished at 11.30am, but the poor kid looked like he was well overdue for bedtime. He got very shouty for a little while when we got home, but I managed to deescalate him and we had some snuggles while I pretended to be interested in his favourite game and let him monologue at me. We also went out for sushi once he was a bit more settled. The homework looks pretty full on. We are starting with exercises to integrate DS' retained Moro reflex, plus some other physical tasks, and a couple of computer based activities. We have a total of six activities daily for homework. Homeschool is slow going this afternoon. I think he's a bit fatigued, but doesn't really recognise the feeling, so he's uncomfortable and figures it must be my fault (!!!). I'm encouraging breaks and quiet time, but trying not to get thrown completely off schedule, because we find the days run smoother with some structure. It's a tricky balance.

Psychological support was one of the two recommendations on his autism report (the other was OT). It's definitely the next thing on the list. We have our first VT appt in a few hours. I'll be back later today with an update. :)

Bad news first: yes to retained reflexes. :closedeyes: Good news: the VT will work on these along with visual-motor systems! :hurray: I'm so relieved, because I thought it was going to be a whole 'nother rabbit hole to fall down. And I'm already kinda overwrought from solo parenting, and study, and just life in general with an intense child. I still haven't quite figured out how to get him on board, but he knows that we're meeting the VT tomorrow to "learn more about it." I'm hoping she gets some good rapport happening pretty quickly, or this is going to be quite the battle. We'll go out for sushi afterwards. He really likes sushi. And I think that the anxiety will ease off a whole lot once we actually know what it's all about. DS finds anticipation and unknowns really stressful.

DS doesn't mind getting glasses, but he's not keen on the VT at all. Any tips for getting buy-in? Or at least tolerance? I've told him that the first appointment is just to help us both learn more about it.

Thanks, OneStep. The eight sessions are two lots of 45min/week for four consecutive weeks. We'll be given software to do daily homework on the PC, and possibly other exercises. I've already taken all reading and writing out of our homeschool. I'm a little worried about DS losing hard-earned handwriting stamina,so I guess I'll introduce a whole lot of playdough/putty/clay activities, to at least keep up his tone. He has very hypermobile fingers, so writing has been a lot of work. I'm amazed he's done so well with such significant vision problems, actually. I might ask our OT for ideas as well.

How are things going for you and your DD, Runningmom?

DS has just been assessed by a developmental optometrist who identified poor tracking, convergence, focus. We're picking up DS' new glasses and starting VT next week. Apparently he's likely to need eight sessions, rather than four. What to expect? Anecdotes, stories, experiences are all welcome.

A nunyo! :D