Hey, we've gotta do something for fun. No alcohol, no tobacco, no recreational drugs, no coffee, no tea, no sex outside marriage...what's left for us but making random mischief? ;)

I'm thinking that for various reasons I want to acquire a programmable slow cooker. Does anyone out there have a brand/model that they love and would recommend? Are there some I should stay away from?

Yes. The meds take the edge off his anxiety enough for him to learn and use other anxiety control techniques instead of his mind just going "away" and his body either shutting down or violently losing control. The meds have helped him learn what it feels like to be calm and happy and that gives him a target to aim for emotionally that he was missing for a while. Yes, to some degree, in that I monitor his anxiety levels and let him take breaks as needed, and sometimes save something for tomorrow if he has had a particularly hard day for some reason. I try to push him enough to challenge him, but not enough to make him break. Gradually he has gained much, much more "range" with that approach. For example, when he was 9 and we first started homeschooling him, he would dive under the table when I got out the math book and try to stab me with his pencil when I tried to get him to come out and do math. When I did get him to stay with me at the table he would regularly shred his page or scribble all over it before I could stop him, and if I tried to stop him it would turn into a physical battle. Instead of feeding his panic by fighting him I made several photocopies of his math page, let the fit play out, and then handed him a new page and started where we had left off. But I did have to sit with him every minute and talk him through. Nowadays I can just tell him to go do his math, and he does (it's the most amazing thing to me). He gripes a little sometimes, but who doesn't? But yes, I have structured things differently over the years in order to manage the anxiety. This year ds is taking a class at our local public high school. Schools, and especially classrooms have been a major trigger for him, so this is a really big deal. The other day he came home in a panic about the amount of work he had to do for his class (he'd missed a day from being sick and had extra make-up work). I let him take a break when we got home, then sat down with him and helped him make a plan for getting the work done. He asked if he could work on that instead of the grammar lesson I had planned for the rest of the school day, and since I knew it would eat at the back of his mind and the grammar lesson would probably not sink in very well anyway, I let him do that and we did the grammar the next day. So yes, I'm much more "seat of the pants" in my execution than I would otherwise be, and I structure my lesson plans accordingly so that we can just do the "next thing" in each subject rather than trying to follow someone else's daily lesson plan. This hasn't been an issue, other than I know if I try to teach him something while he's on the edge of a come-apart it's not going to stick. At the moment the only supplement he takes is Vitamin D. It seems to help with his mood. Baby steps are still progress. Celebrate them. Focus on where you are today compared to where you were last year and the year before, rather than comparing your dd to other kids her age. She is on her own journey, and as long as she is making progress, she's being successful it's just that hers is a different kind of success. Make sure you are pointing out what she does right more often than things she does wrong or needs to improve. Also, I would recommend prioritizing your relationship with your daughter over academic progress. If you develop a high level of trust and love with her so that she feels you are on her side, not part of the 'opposition' she must hide from or fight against she will feel safe trying things that are more challenging because she knows you are there and you won't let anything truly terrible happen to her. The relationship makes a HUGE difference. So if you have to choose between getting the math done while damaging trust, or preserving the trust but falling behind in math, choose on the side of relationship preservation. I have also found it useful to allow my son to make choices about his life and academics as much as possible (within safe and reasonable boundaries). For example, I will often ask if he'd rather do history or math first, or if he'd rather get started right away or wait another 15 minutes. It gives him a feeling of being in control of at least some things in his own life, and that helps reduce the anxiousness that comes from feeling at the mercy of others for every little thing in your life. HTH :)

Welcome back! I have wondered about you and am glad to hear that things have been getting untangled for you. :)

Lol...you have walking books at your house too, eh? I've been looking at the lesson. It's about the Holy Ghost, which is what our Sunday School lesson was about today, and I'm feeling like Sister C the Sunday School teacher did such a great job with it that whatever I say on the subject is going to just sound lame. I guess I have a week to pray about it and figure out how to come at the topic from a different angle so the ladies don't feel like they're just getting an inferior repeat. Online seminary sounds like a great option. I wish they had that when I was a kid. When I was a teen we lived only about 15 minutes from the church, which is where we met for seminary. My first year was a home study course where we did reading and worksheets at home and then met once a week to go over the information as a group. But the next year they found a teacher that could meet with us every morning, and my brother was old enough to get his driver's license, so we met at the church every morning at 7:00am. Looking back I wish I'd taken it more seriously than I did. Our teacher taught at a very "primary" level and being a rather angsty teen I resented being talked to like I was six, so I didn't really pay much attention to the lessons. The "scripture chases" were fun, but only because my brother and I were very competitive with each other. The problem with THAT is that the teacher didn't realize we only cared about beating each other, she thought we were competing for the Smarties candies she always gave to whoever got there first. There were only 4 kids in the class, my brother and me and the teacher's two daughters. To this day I cannot eat Smarties anymore. But looking back I think Sister L was very brave to take us on at all. Especially that early in the morning. She was always prepared and cheerful, and there's definitely something to be said for that.

Lots of coughs and sniffles at our house this week. Dh stayed home with the sick kids this week since I stayed home with them last week with the stomach bug that's been going around. So I got to go to church by myself today. It felt a little strange not to have anyone tugging or whispering or leaning on me...lol. But nice, though. The Sunday School lesson was really good; Sister C is a truly excellent teacher. The RS counselor asked me to sub teach in RS next week. Ch. 4 in the Lorenzo Snow book, if anyone wants to offer suggestions.

To clarify, I like discussing a variety of topics too. That is very much my preference. It's just when I look for this social group thread it always says, "How was your Sunday?" and for some reason that makes me feel awkward when I post about other stuff. But I guess it's just me so not something to worry about. :)

Our food storage is somewhat depleted at present, as I have been using it to supplement the grocery budget because the economic issues have affected dh's work, and also he has had to spend a number of months over the past year and a half or so in another state taking care of each his parents before they passed and not working. And now, of course there are medical bills relating to my recent health issues that will have to be paid off. I've been glad we had it. Here in a little bit when things even out a little again (please!) I'll start building it back up again. I usually do it a little at a time. When things I know we use regularly are on sale at the grocery store I buy several. One of the stores here has a "case lot sale" several times a year when they sell basic items by the case at a discount price and I usually take those opportunities to stock up on canned fruits and vegetables and spaghetti sauce. We have a fair sized pantry in the kitchen and several metal shelving units in the basement where it's cooler. We also have a big chest freezer that I use for perishables. I know that if there were ever an actual disaster that knocked the power out we'd have a limited time to use those items, but we could always share with the neighbors, who would probably need it under those circumstances, and in the mean time it's nice to be able to buy meats and veggies and butter and juice concentrate and things like that in bulk when they're on sale and freeze them so I can just send one of the kids out to grab one when I need it. And it's nice to know we can get through to the next paycheck (which, when you're self-employed is often sporadic and of unpredictable amounts) with some fresher options that what comes out of a can. (Does anyone else feel like they're wandering "off topic" when we talk about things other than how Sunday was? Lol. Probably it's just me. )

I'm probably not a good person to ask since I have trained exactly one very small, very sweet dog, and we got her as a puppy a little over a year ago, so I know little about starting out with an older dog. I just wanted to say that my sister (who knows more than I do about dogs) told me a while back that 18 months is the most common age for dogs to be abandoned because their behavior is really challenging. Our little one has been a holy terror for the last little while and I completely believe her. However she also said that it's such a shame too, because if people would just hold on for a few more months their dog would settle down into very nice adult dogs that they would love and adore. And I believe that too, because just in the past month or so it's like a switch has been flipped in our dog's head. All of a sudden she is sweet, cooperative, and calm in ways we have never seen before. She does still have occasional bouts of puppy crazies, and we're still working on a few things, like barking at strangers (but only when they come into the house, which isn't all bad, I WANT her to bark if there's a stranger in the house, but only until I tell her it's okay for that person to be there--then I want her to stop). But for the most part this little ball of teeth and claws and tongue and noise and energy is actually settling out into a very nice little friend. All of which is to say that part of what you're experiencing with your dog probably has to do with his age and may be less of a training issue than it looks like right now. But again, I have experience with ONE dog that we got as a puppy and are still working on, and I have no experience at all with older dogs or rescues, so take that with a grain of salt. I just wanted to offer you hope because knowing it was a "phase" helped me a lot.

Or lds.org for more depth and detail (but also greater volume and is set up more as a resource for church members and not as easy to use for comparing basics). And I second Diane's invitation, and am also happy to answer questions via PM. :) Also, I'm with you, the similarities and differences are fascinating, even though I'm very happy where I am and have no intention of ever changing.

Sarah - I agree with Kristin that it sounds like it would be worth having him evaluated. welovetoread - :grouphug: !! Wish I could be there! Abigail - I don't know all that much about it, but my understanding has been that the pre-canned food at the cannery is whatever was left in the opened bag after someone who was purchasing and canning food got the amount they wanted. You don't have to buy a whole bag, you can buy just a can or two, but once the bag is opened you have to can all of what's in it so it doesn't get spilled or contaminated. So then they put the extra cans on the shelf for whoever does want to buy it. The last time I was there they were having us check the already canned stuff to see if there was enough for what we wanted before we went and opened another bag. But I'm not really sure if that's the case everywhere, your cannery might have a different arrangement or something. I also know that in at least one ward we've lived in we weren't allowed to use the church meetinghouse for canning because of food handling regulations and insurance issues, but we were able to have a canning party like you're talking about at a ward member's house because the regulations were different for private homes than for public buildings or something. I forget all the details, as I wasn't in charge and it was a while ago. I suspect the people at your cannery will be able to answer all your questions and some you haven't thought of yet. Good luck! :)

I hear ya, sista! Pain stinks. Even when you know it's coming it stinks. And it gets really old, REALLY fast.

Thanks. :) I'll probably be a little sporadic for a while still. I'm feeling like I've got a lot on my plate and trying to focus on the essentials. I'm getting a "day off" today due to my student having a stomach bug.

My Sunday...hmmm..... Woke up with some pain (from current temporary medical issues) so I took some meds for that, which meant dh had to do the driving. Dd has had a stomach bug for a couple of days so I checked in on her and she said she didn't feel very good and just wanted toast for breakfast. So I figured I'd be staying home with her. Went downstairs and found ds sprawled on the couch. He said he had eaten a couple of Pop Tarts (which he does sometimes when he's up much earlier than I am and gets hungry) and was seriously regretting it because his stomach felt like he'd been eating rocks and he might throw up. At that point I figured he could stay home with dd (they do well together at home alone and the church is less than 5 minutes from our house so we could be there fast if they called dh's cell phone) so I made toast for dd and then went and took a bath (because we have 11:00 church now and I had time to soak a little, which helps with pain management). When I got out, everyone had their church clothes on and were ready to go to church. Apparently dd decided that she felt well enough to go to church after all, at least for sacrament meeting, after she'd been up a little and had her toast. Ds decided that if SHE could stick it out, HE could too. So we all went to church. After the sacrament and about 2 testimonies, ds said he didn't think he could stay at church anymore after all and could we please take him home now. Dd said that she wasn't feeling well either and had been going to ask to go home at the end of the meeting, but she didn't want to make dad drive back and forth that much (she's thoughtful that way). Dh said he wasn't comfortable with the two of them home by themselves when they were both sick because although they're usually fine, ds can sometimes be a bit "off" in unpredictable ways when he's sick (a very valid point), and since I couldn't drive due to the meds and it's also not smart for me to be out walking on the ice, dh dropped me and the kids off at home. I put on a conference session and pieced two squares for my Dear Jane quilt with the puppy curled up by my hip while the kids had a long snooze upstairs. It was very peaceful. I think I'm going to have to listen to some more of the talks from that conference again, I had forgotten how good they were.

Awww...so sweet of you to think of me when I haven't been here much lately. :) I've only sort of skimmed the thread, but it sounds like you've gotten some good advice and have already talked to your Primary Pres. Church with ASD is definitely a challenge. We've been blessed with ward families who've been very understanding about our wrestling matches in the hall and outbursts in sacrament meeting (like the time he learned his first "bad" word and hopped up on the bench in the middle of the sacrament and bellowed it out--in a VERY quiet newly wed/nearly dead ward we lived in for a year, with almost no other small children making noise and a plethora of disapproving older ladies whose children would have NEVER! And ds hadn't been diagnosed yet at that point so everyone including me just thought I was a bad mom.). The Primary years were the most challenging for us because he HATES the off-key chaotic nature of lots of kids singing together. I sometimes wish we'd been in a smaller branch like the one I grew up in, or the little ward we were in when we lived in Georgia when he was a baby, instead of a gigantic Utah ward, but I guess them's the breaks. All the Primary Presidents we had were very compassionate and tolerant and tried their best to help him out. For a while, during the worst of it, he had his own personal primary teacher so he could have a break from people for the block between sacrament meeting and sharing time, and I could have a (much needed) break from him. They called a large, strong, very kind man for the job because ds's behavior sometimes required physical restraint. He has told me several times since that being ds's primary teacher was one of his favorite all-time callings because he never knew what Sunday would bring. They had lessons lying on the floor with their feet up on the wall and all the lights off, or walking up and down the hall, and evidently ds felt very free to argue with his teacher and was usually right when they looked it up, so the teacher felt like he learned a lot during those couple of years. We tried sending him to sharing time every week, and some weeks he would stay (with his teacher) but other weeks it was just too much for him and he'd come in with me or his dad, depending on which of us wasn't teaching a lesson or whatever that week. We also told our bishop that we needed to have callings that left at least one of us free to take care of ds at all times, and the bishop was really good about that. I wish I could say that now that he's 15 he adores church, but he doesn't. He does LOADS better than when he was little, but I still make sure he's had a snack before we go and usually have something edible in my bag. And I still bring fidget toys of various kinds for him to play with because otherwise he fidgets with whoever is sitting next to him, which is usually me. We sit near the front so there are fewer people in his field of view and that seems to help, and we put him on the end of the bench next to the wall because he feels safer there. There are still weeks when being in the chapel is too much for him and he goes out and sits on the couch in the foyer with the speaker on so he can hear the talks. And occasionally he still takes a nap out there. When he was little I sometimes brought a little travel pillow and small blanket in my church bag and let him stretch out on the bench and nap during sacrament meeting. Some of these ASD kids have such a strong biological clock that you just really can't fight it, and when it's time to sleep they have to sleep or they come apart at the seams. So I guess that's my suggestion for 1:00 nap time. If she can sleep in the chapel, let her. Then she gets what she needs to be happy, and you can listen to the meeting (or corral other kids, or whatever). If she can't sleep with all those people around, you could try the foyer or the mother's lounge or somewhere like that where you can still hear the meeting while she snoozes. And if you have disapproving little old ladies in your ward, so what? Jesus said "suffer the little children to come unto me" knowing that little children ARE little children and will ACT like little children and have the NEEDS of little children. He did NOT say, "suffer the little children to come unto me UNLESS they're going to disturb the little old ladies, in which case leave them in the car where they won't bother anyone." Honestly, if there's one thing I would tell myself if I could go back and give me advice in those early years it would be to take a deep breath and relax and don't stress so much about it all. This is who he is. God made him, God loves him, God has reasons, and it's okay. And if other people have a problem with it, they can take it up with God. My job is to be his mom--not a "typical" mom to a "typical" kid, but an atypical mom to an atypical kid, and if that means doing some things strangely, that's only as it should be. It's an adventure. And like most real adventures, it's dirty, and exhausting, and confusing, and sometimes scary, but there are real treasures along the way that you cannot receive in any way other than going on the adventure. And it's worth it. It's all worth it. Even though some days you will think longingly of your cozy little hobbit hole and wish you had brought a pocket handkerchief.

Thanks, it's nice to know that home-shredded potatoes work too and they don't have to be frozen. I have a lovely food processor my mother-in-law gave me that shreds potatoes like a dream. I usually have a few lying around, but I haven't been doing the shopping for a while and it looks like there's nary a potato to be had. That's okay, I have to go in for a blood test tomorrow anyway and thought I'd stop by the store on the way home. I really kind of want to try this one out because I, for one, am getting a little tired of bread and yogurt and fruit and cereal. I want comfort food for breakfast...lol. Some days my farmer ancestry really shows.

This casserole looks really interesting. I may have to get some frozen hash browns and try it out. I was wondering if you had tried it, and if so did the eggs set all the way to the middle?

Thanks so much. My recovery is going really very well and the doctors are happy (and apparently surprised) that I don't seem to have any major impairments, just minor weirdnesses. And those are noticeably better every day. I've been out and about without the cane a good bit the past few days without even stubbing my toes or slipping on the ice (of which there is an abundance in our town at present). Today I got brave enough to drive the car around a deserted parking lot and then a few blocks home and was able to park between the lines and navigate around awkwardly shaped snowbanks left from plowing and everything. (But I'm not going to be driving solo for a while, dh will be there to make sure I'm not doing anything wonky and to take over if need be, and it may be a while before I brave the freeway.) It took a little more concentration than "usual" (whatever that is now), but that's kind of par for the course. More on topic, I've also made a lot of the lunches lately (though I find myself still a little afraid of the sharp knives, and a little nervous around the stove--sometimes I wonder how much is real coordination problems, how much is medication side effects, and how much is just paranoia, but it's hard for me to judge that so I'm taking things slowly...sigh.) And I think tonight is the last night the ladies from church are bringing us dinner (they've been wonderful about that through this whole mess) because I'm reasonably sure I can manage dinners with a little help from dh and the kids (if not, I know who to call..lol). But breakfasts are something else entirely. It takes me a while to get really functional in the mornings, so dh is Mr. Breakfast for a while. But we went to the store yesterday and I helped him stock up on some easy-fix breakfasty stuff. And this morning he scrambled some eggs to go with the decadent pastries that somehow (on purpose) followed us home. They were tasty.

Thanks, all, these are some great ideas. I'll run them by dh when he has a few minutes. And if he doesn't think he's up to them, I will DEFINITELY be trying them out as I get better because some of them make my mouth water just reading about them. :) (And thank you for the condolences and well wishes. It has been a hard few weeks. But the way the doctors and nurses all keep looking at me like I'm some kind of freak and saying things like, "You REALLY have no paralysis? Trouble speaking? Vision loss or disturbances? REALLY?" makes me feel very, very blessed to be able to walk and talk and read and right and hug my dh and the two awesome kiddos God has blessed me with. There are a few weird differences, especially with spacial judgment (which is why I'm leery of knives and burners and driving, and use a cane to help with uneven floors) and everything takes about a thousand times more energy than it should, and there are a few other weirdnesses that you wouldn't really notice unless you're inside my head looking out, but it could have been so very much worse, And then, this is the third miscarriage in about a year's time after 10 years of not being able to conceive at all, and now it's looking like it will be too big of a risk to "try again" (they think the pregnancy hormones were a major contributor to the stroke), so there have been some pretty emotional moments, but all things considered, I'm grateful to still be here and functional. How 'bout lunches? Fast and easy?

I'm in need of good make-ahead and quick-fix breakfast recipes and menus. The thing is, right after Christmas I had a brain hemorrhage, closely followed by a miscarriage. It's going to be a while before I'm fully recovered (but they don't think there's any permanent damage, so I'm feeling very blessed). Dh is trying to do a lot of what I usually take care of, on top of getting his work done (he works from home, fortunately for us) and taking care of me (I'm easy, but unable to drive to my doctor appointments and sometimes need reminders to take my meds). My family is used to having fairly substantial breakfasts, but dh isn't confident enough in the kitchen to attempt much real cooking first thing in the morning. I'm betting the hive mind has some great ideas for things we could work together to assemble in the evenings (he can wield the sharp knife for me) and then just pop in the oven in the morning, or things that can be quickly assembled from fresh ready-made ingredients from the grocery store. I can think of a few, but some things that seem quick and easy to me sound burdensome to dh (poor man) so I thought I'd cast my nets here and get some additional options. Thanks in advance. :)

I'm not here as much as I'd like lately due to the fact that real life just keeps on a-happening around here, and I haven't figured out how to PM people on the new forum format yet. I have figured out how to view PMs sent to me, though, so if you'd be willing to initiate that conversation I'll respond when I get a chance. It might be a few days before I get back, just to let you know. But I am LDS and have a child on the spectrum. :)

Prayers and hugs for you. :grouphug:

ROFL!! Actually, she is rather attractive, and I quite like her, but not in "that way".....lol.

I didn't know about the pants protest either. If I didn't think sacrament meeting was very much the wrong venue for that sort of thing I might wear an extra frilly feminine style of dress that day...lol. But that would feel irreverent too under the circumstances.

I guess I'm one of those weirdos who does like RS. Also Sunday School. I think it's partly because for so much of the past decade and a half ds and his "special needs" have sucked every ounce of energy and brain-power out of me, and it's nice to be able to just sit for two hours a week and NOT have to plan or present a lesson, or organize an activity, or be on constant alert for unexpected environmental hazards. Also, our Gospel Doctrine teacher right now is awesome. I've definitely had some less than stellar ones over the years--in which case I always appreciate when the other class members chime in with relevant commentary.