I'm sorry, Lecka. It hurts when family can't see and accept our kids as they are, right now. We had a couple of years when dd was intensely focused on a pet: care, training, etc. Aunt asked for gift suggestions, but balked at giving what dd wanted. So, I understand.

That's very helpful. Thank you so much!

This is very true, of course, and your point is well taken. I wasn't sure what the boundaries were in schools, but I appreciate folks having clarified that.

Thanks, everyone. I had read that the counselor letter needed to address "struggles overcome" in the context of school, and was wondering based on that. We have discussed all this a bit, but not much yet. In our public high school there isn't a separate college counselor, so I was rolling the two functions into one as they do here. Sounds like the health part needs to stay out. Extracurriculars aren't on the transcript, we were just working on the Common App together and trying to figure out how to count the time. I should have been clearer there.

Remember this isn't necessarily for all time, just for now. (((Dawn)))

Asked and answered, thanks.

They are listed by subject, yes. She has 5 English, 4 math, 5 lab science, 4 social studies,a firm three years of one foreign language, (really almost four years, but a weird sequence), and will have two DE classes of a second foreign language by graduation. She also has I think three electives and two PEs on top of the classes listed above. She has the credits, really. I'm not sure how I could fit more on the transcript. But some semesters seem light all the same. Maybe we just need to point out that her goals were different in her junior year. This really varies, she's applying to a wide range, but she'd love to get into Virginia Tech. Her scores put it in a very reasonable range, though nothing is guaranteed. William and Mary and UVA would be reaches, though based on scores and gpa, not hopeless. I think for them she would have needed more leadership and volunteer experience. There are also safeties.

Precalculus was last year. So, if 4+3 is fine, how about 2+2+1 (plus precalc over two semesters)?

I've been finishing dd's transcript with help from folks here and threads from the pinned motherloads, and now as I look at it I have new questions. Dd has just registered for spring semester classes at the community college. She struggled to find three that she wanted to take or would work for various reasons. Is three classes going to look too light for her final semester? As if she's slacking off? On the transcript, I've put the classes planned for spring semester in italics, causing them to be very visible, and three just seems like so few. But maybe I've let her have too few classes before as well. She has taken a full load of classes on a yearly basis, but last year (11th grade) they were spread out over both semesters and the summer. That didn't worry me too much, because it was her first year doing all dual enrollment, and I figured she was adjusting to college classes. She also has a very time-consuming extracurricular activity, so doing fewer classes per semester worked, as a practical matter. And, at the time, she was looking at a community college after high school, not four year university... But now the classes seem so light to me.😲 This fall she has had four community college classes. She's on track to finish with A's in each, so I hope that will demonstrate she can do fine with that load. In college she'll need to have five at a time, though, so maybe that's what admissions offices will want to see. She will have completed 27 credits (27 classes) by the time her applications are submitted, and 30 by graduation. A large proportion are honors, AP, or DE. But, only 2 DE classes per semester last year, one over the summer, and a yearlong Derek Owens Precalculus class. Other quick questions: For total credits on the transcript, I put "27 (12/15/2019)". Is that proper, or would you include the credits for classes she hasn't started yet? And when listing extracurricular activities, would you calculate time based on time *at the activity* or including driving time? An extra hour per day, five to six days per week, is significant as a commitment of time, but it probably won't "count" toward the total...?

Thank you!

Hugs, Dawn. I know you've got so much going on right now. Maybe this is what he needs for now.

I'm so sorry. I'll be thinking of you, Lillian and her family, and hoping you all get some good news.

Dd17 has taken classes in public high school for one year, various online providers, two co-op classes (do you do course descriptions for PE?), and dual enrollment for almost everything in her last two years. For college applications, we will be submitting three transcripts: ps, de, and my own, which will include everything, listing which class was taken where. Would you submit course descriptions for the public school and dual enrollment classes?

Thanks, Rosie. Right this minute, I don't think dd believes any friend is worth this much effort. Maybe she'll find one someday.

Hugs, I know this is so hard. I have one who has a history of simply refusing to do work. Part of her issue is that she is on the spectrum, and is easily overwhelmed. She also just doesn't get interested in the work, like your ds. What has made a difference for her is having a daily after school activity which she does care about very much. If she does the basics, she goes to her activity. If not, no activity. Repeat daily. This is more motivational than anything else we have tried. I also love Lori's advice above. Consistent expectations of a very small amount of work, very gradually increased, has been helpful for us. Finally-- are you absolutely sure there isn't anything else going on? You've got a bright kid who is unaccountably not performing in a specific area. Maybe there's an obstacle you can't see. I tend to go back to "kids will do well when they can," from The Explosive Child, as my mantra. He has a history of depression. There might be more. Has he had any sort of educational testing? It might be worth posting on the LC board.

This point has been worrying me, thanks. There was really just no comparison between the ps Latin 3 and Lukeion Latin 3.

Thanks, Lori. I didn't mean I'd include the textbooks in the transcript, I probably confused my question by including that. So, you'd just list that Latin 1 was done in eighth grade? Would you count it as a credit? I suppose I could explain the sequence of classes and the tutoring in my letter as counselor. I had been toying with just listing classes completed by subject, without showing the year. Do you think it's important to include which year classes were taken?

How would you put this on dd's transcript? Eighth grade, she took the first semester of Lukeion's Latin 1, got an A, then enrolled in local parochial school for second semester, switched to their Latin 1 textbook, finished the year with an A. Ninth grade, switched to local public school, switched to their textbook. They had a block system, so first semester was Latin 2, second semester was Latin 3. Got A's in both, but neither was at all rigorous. Hated public school, decided she wanted to return to homeschool for the next year, and wanted to go back to Lukeion for Latin 3. In order to catch up to Lukeion, spent second semester and summer working with a tutor to finish Wheelock's Latin. This was a huge amount of work, on top of her normal course load. Tenth grade, Lukeion Latin 3 A and B, earned A's. Would you bring up credit from eighth grade, and give her three years of high school Latin? Would you only count Latin 2 and 3, which were completed in high school? Would you list the tutoring somehow? She does also have a semester of French at the local community college, and will do one more semester this spring, so that will be French 1 and 2. So, technically she probably doesn't need to count three years of Latin. But she's worked so hard on it, including continuing self-study, that I want to recognize her work appropriately. And I know it's better to show three years of a single language.

I have wondered about this over the years.

I love this formula. Right now, I think dd would say she wants at least a week or so away from Emily, and then maybe one ride on the bus together, and then maybe another week off. Emily really needs some other friends, and that part is out of my ability or responsibility to fix. I don't think what dd can offer is ever going to meet Emily's needs. You are so right.

I'm sorry. That's hard. I can understand your frustration.

Dawn, I'm sorry. He came so close, it really stinks to lose that scholarship. It *is* fantastic that he can bring his grade back up and get the money back, though. I hope it helps him understand about following instructions, ultimately that would be worth the extra cost for one semester.

And, I should have stressed: I understand that dd is in a big school with hundreds of other students, dealing with all kinds of noise and demands, for the first time in many years, and needing time and space to decompress is completely reasonable. Under all the circumstances, she's doing amazingly well, though academics are not quite so good. And any high schooler might be overwhelmed by a friend's serious mental health issues. It's the rejection of the idea that friends are an essentially good and desirable thing that interests me here. I suppose she is taking the stressful friendship with Emily as an example of what all friendships are like, perhaps. She has had other friends, and enjoyed time with them. But right now she seem to consider friendships to be too much effort for a small payoff. I'm curious whether other kids on the spectrum have come to this conclusion as they matured, and whether they have later reconsidered.

I hear so much about the kids on the spectrum who want friends, but have trouble making or keeping them because they don't understand the social expectations. We seem to be in a different spot. Dd15 (asd, etc) has a long term, on-again, off-again friend who really wants dd's company but is overwhelming dd with her need for time and attention. I'm feeling bad for this girl, because by most not-autistic standards, she isn't asking for much time. She sees dd for daily bus rides to and from school, and occasionally for lunch at school. They have known each other since kindergarten, and mostly maintained their friendship through years when they were not in school together. Dd15 has always thought that her friend had other friends in school, but once they were attending school together again this fall, discovered that her friend (I'll call her Emily, not her real name) considered the others acquaintances, and dd her only real friend. To make matters worse, Emily is having some significant mental health issues. Her mom is aware of them, and she is receiving therapy. But she just seems very vulnerable, and I hurt when I think about dd deliberately limiting contact with her. But dd is not equipped to handle Emily's needs. Dd15 is feeling overwhelmed by the whole situation. She says she is happier with the casual acquaintances she has made in her classes, and she doesn't want friends who make demands on her time. When she isn't in class, what she really wants is to sit by herself and listen to music on her phone, or read. In a sense, I think dd is handling this well. She has made plans to talk to her case manager today, explain the situation, and ask for help limiting her contact with Emily, and also make sure the school knows about Emily's issues. So, she's advocating for her own needs, which is huge, and trying to make sure someone understands how bad this is for her friend. But, ouch. I feel so hurt for Emily. Emily and her family have known about dd's autism for years. But they've never seemed to really understand all the permutations. They have previously interpreted some of dd's difficulties in a very unsympathetic way, so I'm concerned about them not understanding the emotional overload which this friendship is causing for dd. I'm just unhappy about the whole situation. Does anyone else have a kid with autism who tries to limit friendships?

Thank you all so much, this gives me lots of good choices! Off to read on Amazon...