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NorthwestMom

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Posts posted by NorthwestMom

    Alzheimer’s is exhausting

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Antipsychotics or mood stabilizers might be helpful, someone needs to call the person who prescribes meds ASAP.  These are drugs that are taken daily, unlike rescue meds like a limited number of Ativan. The current med regime of 3 Ativan/mo is NOT going to work. Hugs to you. 

    • Like 2

    Verb usage in kids

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    15 hours ago, PeterPan said:

    Wanna do a little poll on how many peds miss ASD right before the kid gets diagnosed ASD2? 

     

    So here's your problem. All of the bolded things by themselves are issues that should be getting him referred for SLP evals. He is ps or homeschooled? If he's homeschooled, it's high time. He should be 100% intelligible even if he still has articulation errors. At 7 they'll treat articulation errors too, but I'm saying he should be INTELLIGIBLE, meaning people know what he MEANT. Intelligibility is how prosody (his tone and pacing) and all kinds of things come together. It's most telling when it's strangers, people in the grocery store. If he is not 100% intelligible to a stranger in the grocery store, he needs a referral. 

    As far as the verbs, the SPELT is the test she wants. More likely they'll run the CELF or CASL, but I'd be wanting the SPELT. And here's the thing, because his reading is affected at this point, you don't know whether there's phonological processing going on or whether there's a language delay causing reading comprehension issues. You're about to snowball into a BIG PROBLEM that the system will NOT be prepared to treat if you wait. If you start now, the system knows what to do. Wait and it is going to be a bigger problem. Wait long enough and they'll give up and not even have materials. He's only 7.5 now, but when that same kid is 10-12 it's a LOT HARDER to find the materials. I've gone through it with my ds, sigh. So NOW is the time. It is NOT jumping the gun. It's about saving some major heartache here.

    I would want testing of phonological processing, narrative language, and of course expressive/receptive language. The SLP should go ahead and run pragmatics while they're at it and a test of auditory processing if they own it and a test of problem solving. The SLP will know what all those things are, but the mom wants to make sure they happen. Depending on what they find there, I would be referring for psych as well. If the insurance will cover SLP testing, start there. The psych will have a longer wait and you want info and intervention sooner.

     

    I like this post so much I have to quote it too! 😀

    There are a TON of red flags in this child's speech. At his age is is very likely NOT to fix itself simply due to the number of various issues identified. A good evaluation will provide insight into why these problems are occurring and how to remediate them. If left unaddressed, these problems are definitely going to negatively affect him educationally and socially. That poor child. 

    • Like 2

    Alzheimer’s is exhausting

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    2 hours ago, Scarlett said:

    Thanks everyone.  He has 100% disability from ptsd from the Korean War. He has a HUGE team of doctors. My MIL. Is a very capable woman as far as getting him all the services available to him. She has a psychologist who visits the home and asks her hard questions (mainly is she fearful ever). He has a PA who comes to the home or takes phone calls. My MIL reads everyday about this disease so she is mostly aware that she can’t reason with him.  

    So all of that is great, but as a few of you pointed out, even still she is dulled to the rapid progression.  They went on a big trip to CA with us in OCt, and dh and I went to see them Thanksgiving weekend and we were shocked at the decline in 6 weeks and again shocked at the decline over three months when we saw him this weekend.  

    The Oct family reunion allowed the siblings to talk and one of the sons went over and took all the guns out of the house.  Saturday night when we were all getting ready we heard him asking about his guns....later she told us he was saying the son stole them and he wants them back.  She tried to divert but he was having none of it.....so she finally told him the doctor says he can’t have the guns.  He said why not?! And she said because you threatened to hurt yourself.  And he said well I don’t have to do everything the doctor says.  She said yes you do and he accepted that.  This time. But he doesn’t always accept her answers and starts in on how she is treating him bad and not being a good wife.  Good grief.  But anyways, 

    She texted me after we left and said he had immediately started in on money....accusing her of keeping it from him...just all sort of nonsense things.  He has in his head he is suppose to get $500  every 8 days.  She said it went on for about 30 minutes and finally was able to distract him with the tv.  

    I don’t think she will be able to keep this up much longer.  She did agree she is going to start leaving the house the three days a week that she has an aid coming in to care for him.  It is just from 9-12 but it will help.  She is afraid he will melt down if she is not there and we said that is not her fault and that she can’t be held hostage by that possibility.  

    So money, guns, driving and jealousy ( he accuses her of having an affair) are his big triggers.  Exhausting.  

    This concerns me, as someone who cared for my mother with Alzheimers until her death. I am really glad the guns are removed. Now it is VERY important not to let him drive anymore. You do not want to wait until he fails at driving, as innocent people could be injured or killed.

    Remember you do not have to be honest with him. His brain is not allowing him to be rational and it will continue to deteriorate. For his own safety and peace of mind, you can tell him a reason he can accept at this time. It is a kindness to allow his paranoia to abate, if you can achieve that.

    For the driving, it may be, "the doctor said so".  His doc may be willing to literally write a paper prescription that says no driving. Police may be willing to assist with this as well. Remove his keys from the home and hide the remaining set well.  It's dangerous if he drives and must stop ASAP. In my area we have "Silver Alerts" in which people with dementia are lost multiple times a month.

    For the money, you can tell him that the payer is using direct deposit now and it is going directly into the bank account. If necessary (and funds are available), you can set up transfers between 2 of their own accounts so it looks like a new deposit is going in every 8 days (e.g., transfer $800 in form savings, show him, transfer it back out a day later, transfer it in again when the next deposit is "due"). when you show him the account, choose the view that shows "deposits" so he is only seeing the list of credits, not the removal of the money later. 

    If he asks for the guns back, tell him his son is getting them professionally cleaned/ tuned up/ displayed at the VA for being an awesome collection/appraised for value or something (I'm not a gun owner, I don't know exactly what is plausible here! LOL) and they will be ready "next week". Keep saying "next week" as he has probably lost track of time in any abstract way, and if he hasn't yet, he will shortly. 

    Start looking for a facility with a locked unit. My mother had to move to one for her safety and it was awesome and she THRIVED there because it was set up to accommodate dementia. 

    Hugs to you all. 

     

    • Like 7

    High School paper dilemma

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Hugs and support to you, Squirrellymama.

    I have been in a somewhat similar position and it is such a challenge. We used to attend a religious co-op and we are not actually religious; we were respectful of their beliefs and kept our thoughts to ourselves since this was clearly their space. We did it for the classes and the activities. Anyway, my son took a writing class in middle school and had to do a persuasive essay and presentation. A limited number of ridiculously noncontroversial topics were available (literally stuff like "smoking is bad for you") including "God created all people". On his own my son received permission to present the opposite case "Present-day humans evolved from primates". I nearly died when I found out. He was disappointed at the reaction to his presentation as all his classmates looked at him like he was dumb as a rock and no one asked him any questions or even presented a counter-argument. He was genially frozen out. We did get Ken Hamm books in our mailbox though!

    Your son's topic is not likely to go over as quietly, at least around here it would not. Good luck!

    • Sad 2

    it's snowing...

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    And it arrived like 5 hours earlier than they expected! A true Seattle weather event, full of surprises. We are all desperately hoping things start getting cancelled for tomorrow. Bring on the SNOW DAY! Or icy roads day, as it may be....

    • Like 1

    What's most important in a health care proxy?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    17 hours ago, TechWife said:

    I agree with the others - proximity matters, but responsiveness matters, too.

    My mothers advance directive was written so that all surviving children could make a decision. If person A was not available, they were to move on to person B, if they couldn’t get A or B, they would move on to C. If A,B & C were unreachable, they were to move on to person D. 

    The night my mother had her brain hemorrhage, they got all the way to person C before someone answered their phone, and she was also the first person to get to the hospital, even though she lived the farthest away from the hospital of those first three. I was person D and when my brother called me to tell me what was going on, no one in the family could reach person A. I actually called the local police to have them go to her house to wake her up. Her phone wasn’t charged. By the time she got to the hospital, person B & C had already discussed the treatment plan with the doctors, seen the CT scan, talked to me on the phone and we had determined that hospice care was the way to go. 

    Very important is detail, though. They need to communicate their wishes to family clearly and choose the person they think will honor them. They need to decide about feeding tubes, artificial life support and recesutation. Under what circumstances do they want these interventions? What if there is no hope for a meaningful recovery? What if the person has dementia and no longer recognizes family, friends and can’t participate in meaningful relationships? What does “meaningful recovery”mean to them? What is a “meaningful relationship” to them?  Do they want a DNR past a certain age? 

    For the family, you need to realize that it will be an issue if the children are not united, which is why communication is so important. Also, know the state law regarding revocation of a DNR. In some places it can be done verbally by any family member that is in the room. The medical staff isn’t going to stop and make a bunch of phone calls at that critical point. A patient can also verbally revoke a DNR. Know the law on who has to sign a DNR - does it need to be signed by a physician? This is important to know so that no one waits until it is too late. I had signed a DNR for my father and it was waiting for the doctors signature when he went into respiratory arrest and ended up on a ventilator because the ED doc wasn’t going to wait around to talk to the family doctor or wait for family to show up. He had no idea that my dad had dementia, didn’t know his wife or children, and was already losing the ability to chew & swallow, had lost his vision and had a great deal of difficulty walking. He tried to do right by my dad. We had him extubated after all the family arrived and he lived for four more days before he died. 

    Also, thank your parents for thinking ahead and setting all of this up ahead of time. It’s a great gift to the children. 

    This is great advice! Like X 100

    • Thanks 1

    Can we share smart, little habits that make a difference?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted · Edited by NorthwestMom

    I clean the bathroom every morning after I've gotten ready in it. I just throw miscellaneous items my teens leave out in the drawer, wipe down the sink with windex, grab a bleach wipe and clean the toilet surfaces and the lid on the garbage can, done. It takes one minute and everything stays decent.

    Also I buy gas every Saturday no matter how full the tank is; no having to add an emergency stop for gas during the midweek craziness.

    • Like 3

    Article: How Millennials Became The Burnout Generation

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I think I agree with most posters that the author wrongly attributes some elements (ex too much work all the time) to her generation when it applies to all adults.  I think previous generations faced a wide variety of hardships that are unaccounted for in this article, and I think the number of people who retire at 55 is vanishingly small. But I also agree that it is harder in some ways to be financially stable as an adult than it was in the second half of the 20th century for college-educated adults.

    One thing that I think negatively affects people below the age of 40ish is the tremendous amount of connectivity and feedback they have received their entire lives about all types of information and decisions 24/7. I  wonder if the rates of anxiety and depression are higher for those who have never known the world without 24/7 news; who hear about every tragedy the minute it happens (often with live video); and then who see on social media a glorified, glamorous, pinterest version of the peers' lives lived in real time. Wouldn't that have a terrible effect on how they perceive their own lives?  Of course we have always had the pressure to conform to certain standards; ask any woman who was married with children in the 1950s how that felt. The difference is, they weren't confronted with the visual evidence of their failure to meet unrealistic standards via the neighbor's staged Instagram story. I think the modern adult is drowning in news, opinion, and feedback from too many distant judgmental sources and it is making many people nuts. 

    • Like 7

    What are the best books you've read this year? (Also add in non-fiction?)

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    On 12/31/2018 at 8:37 PM, happi duck said:

    I loved: You Don't Have to Say You Love Me a Memoir by Sherman Alexie.  But right after I read it he was accused of wrong doing and it feels funny to recommend it.

     

    I am/was a huge fan of Sherman Alexie, heard him discuss this book on NPR, and read the book as well. I guess it is another reminder that people are complex are capable of both good and bad acts. 😞

    • Like 1
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