I was going to come and post asking the same thing!! Thinking of you and your sweet little baby, Dawn. :D

What do you mean by "more suspicious"? What relevance, if any, do you think this has to the behaviour shown in the video?

A justification is also an explanation meant to defend. Is that not what you're doing? Offering a defense for this frazzled father who has had to deal too often with a troubled child, and so finds himself abusing her? Whether or not you think you're agreeing with him, you do seem to be defending him. For some people, that's just hard to swallow. It's like when people offer up apologies, followed by a "but..." "I'm sorry I beat you with a belt, but you didn't listen to me and I had to disipline you..." Um, not much of an apology, really. (Not that this man even went so far as to apologize at all.)

I was speaking to whether or not it is legal in Canada, which was a question asked several pages back. Again, I did read all of your posts. The fact that I don't agree much of what you've written, or perhaps what your perception is of how your posts come across, doesn't mean I'm not reading them. Honestly, you keep saying that you don't mean X, then repeating things that sound an awful lot like X. Like in the below example: You say you are not trying to justify the behaviour, then follow that with an explanation to justify why the parent might be infuriated. *This* is what (I think) most people are objecting to.

THIS!! We always answer these questions with "what do you think?", and when my kids ask my opinion I tell them I still believe in the spirt of Santa... because I do! :D I don't know that my kids have ever believed that some dude comes into the house and brings gifts. I have certainly not ever told them that! But it is amazing how much kids get into the magic of it all, and how much they want to believe.

Cheryl, I think people are reading your posts just fine. Maybe they happen to still disagree with you about the importance of this distinction you're making? How long do you get to call it "discipline gone wrong" and when does it finally cross the line into "malicious abuse"? Sure, maybe when the guy started out on his parenting journey he had good intentions. But when it's to the point that you are beating your 16 yr old with a belt, and it's a common enough occurance that she knows where to put a camera to catch it on film, then isn't it a sign that you have some issues you need to deal with? If you are so aggressive as to be this out of control on a regular basis and you do nothing to help yourself improve, and you obviously know better because you WORK in this field passing judgement on abuse every day, then isn't that a sign that something is horribly wrong? I don't care what good intentions the guy started with. Where he ended up gets him labeled as an abuser, not as a parent who just got pushed too far and lost it this one time. And really, why is it ok to dismiss one form of abuse because it isn't as bad as another? This young woman obviously felt victimized -- and rightly so. Should we tell her that it's not that bad, because other parents would have done worse to her? Gosh, I can't believe there's even a discussion around this to tell you the truth. This was a 16 yr old girl with physical disabilities. Anyone taking a belt to her *for any reason*, even if it were only a "spanking", deserves to be brought up on charges. If her 16 yr old boyfriend were "disciplining" her with a belt, we'd be calling to have his @ss thrown in jail. So why would it be ok for her father to do that? Speaking of... in Canada, it is illegal to strike a child of any age with anything other than the open hand. It is illegal to strike a child under 2 yrs or over 12 yrs at all, regardless of what you're using. So here, this is most definitely illegal behaviour. (To answer a question posted several pages back.)

Hmm. I'd probably turn it into a breakfast bread pudding type thing. Tear them up, pop them in a pan, cover with an egg and milk mixture and bake at 350 for a half hour or so. Serve warm with a little maple syrup. Yum!

We use Christmas fabric. I have pieces in different sizes and we wrap the gifts like we would with paper, and tie together with string. Or sometimes we gather the edges and bundle them up and tie around if that works well for the size of the gift/fabric combination. We've done this for years now, and I love how much less garbage there is on Christmas morning! Plus it's a super frugal option, and much more environmentally friendly. One of these days I might get around to sewing some of the fabric up into bags... or not.

I don't need warnings and researchers telling me this stuff is nasty. I can see that for myself just by reading ingredients and witnessing my own reactions. I have chemical sensitivities, and anything with fragrance in it makes me feel ill and irritable. No way no how would I choose to put it on my baby, for that reason alone. If it impacts me that way, and several other people I know who are diagnosed with fibromyalgia, MCS, etc., then how must it impact a new little sensitive person? I guess it seems like common sense to me (now) to avoid this stuff, due to my personal history and experiences. (We have a scent-free home with very few exceptions.) Honestly, I wonder how many people experience issues with their kids due to this type of stuff but they just don't know that it's contributing.

I'm looking for some video resources for learning how to crochet. Something like http://www.knittinghelp.com/ would be awesome. Or perhaps some favourite YouTube videos? Any suggestions greatly appreciated!!

I agree on the old vs. new Maya Wraps. The old ones had a fan of fabric and a flap you pulled over to cup your shoulder. They're not nearly as comfortable as the newer ones. I also agree that sending a sling to Jan at Sleeping Baby for a new shoulder is a great idea. She's awesome, and does great work.

:lol: I consider what you described a bare minimum. Well, sort of joking... but I do think every mama would do well with a pouch, ring sling, wrap, and a Mei Tai or soft structured carrier. One of each of these makes for really convenient baby transportation! (Baby carriers are my only baby gear thing... We haven't ever owned a crib, but there have been LOTS of carriers to make their way through here!)

Can you elaborate on what your issue is with the Maya Wrap? I also have pretty much no torso, but can use a ring sling comfortably. I wonder if it was positioning? (I can't wear a baby in cradle position, so for me it's tummy-to-tummy regardless of the carrier style.) A pouch is just like a ring sling but without the tail for adjustability, so if you had an issue with using the Maya Wrap because of the basic style of the carrier when on, then I don't think you'd like a pouch.

I've owned a lot of pouch slings over the years and love them! They're great for quick carries, especially in and out of the car or the quick scoot around the house. They're also easy to make if you have a sewing machine, access to some nice fabric, and about an hour to spare. (I can link you to instructions if you need them.) I have not tried this particular product, but I did some research and was not particularly impressed by what I read. Apparently they are made from cheap fabrics and the construction isn't consistent. I've read of loose threads, thin fabrics that make for uncomfortable wearing, poor sizing (i.e. not matching the charts or other samples of the product), and harsh chemical smells. It sounds like these are cheaply made in China and the company makes their money from the shipping rather than the product itself. So knowing all of that, even being the crazy carrier lover that I am, I probably wouldn't bother. Unless it was purely for curiosity and I had the money to blow. If you do want a pouch, and don't want to make your own, I highly recommend the Hotslings brand. Great quality, comfortable fabrics (get the stretch cotton... though I don't know that they even make non-stretch any longer), and I believe you can get them at Target these days so they're easy to try out before you commit.

I just read the latest Harry Dresden book, which reminded me of just how much I love this series, which reminded me of really, really needing something else to love that much, which reminded me of this thread! :D Any other suggestions are welcome. And anyone else that wants to discuss how great the Dresden books are, please do jump in! ;)

Oh gosh, this is so true!! And it goes for chronic venting or whining, or whatever else you want to call it. Basically, it's considered completely acceptable to complain about anything and everything, and if you aren't complaining people think you're abnormal or somehow full of yourself, etc. Even around here on the forums, people are generally comfortable about "venting", but I often see people begging forgiveness any time they post a "brag" thread. I think this also shines a little light on why some people are chronic complainers. If it's not ok to celebrate and talk positively about yourself all the time, what other options do you have? We're all pretty much like toddlers, really... we'll take whatever attention we can get. Yeah, great insight HD!

Here is a story from Daughters of Copper Woman by Anne Cameron, a "retelling of Northwest Coast Indian myths shared by a few loving Native women of Vancouver Island...it is most treasured for its shining vision of the social and spiritual power of women." When someone vents to me over and over with no intention of changing, I move the circle.

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Well, if you normally birth 9+ lb babies then what do they expect? It makes sense baby would be big. And you have a proven pelvis, so there's no reason for them to think you wouldn't be able to deliver him. What's the head measurement that puts a baby at 38 weeks? My biggest had a head measurement of 39 cm, which I understand is large. So now I'm curious for what they consider "normal"...

Anecdotal again, sorry, but... with my last baby she was facing sideways when she came out, then did that little turn thing they do and I ended up delivering her shoulders transverse. Again, this was my 9lb 8oz baby, no tears at all... I didn't even need to use a peri bottle afterwards. So even with a big baby, with shoulders in a weird position that makes it much more of a strain on mama, it doesn't have to be a problem. Also, the midwife could have helped with that if it seemed that I needed her to. Oh, and baby also had a cord wrapped around her neck, as did two of my others. None of that is reason to do a section in and of itself. (Imp, I know you're not signing up for the section just because of an ultrasound guess on baby's size and I'm preaching to the choir there... but I can't help myself from ranting about it a bit anyway!) But that information is pretty much useless. Many women walk around dilated for weeks, especially when they've already had previous births, and some go from nothing to delivery within hours. Unless you're checking to see the viability of an intervention -- i.e. is baby's head engaged and cervix softened enough to support recommendations for attempted induction -- then what's the point?

"Yeah, I was going to start Buddhisting, but the Heatheners got to me first."

Size... I'm 5ft nothing much, and my babies have been 8lb 12oz (longest labour and pushing), 9lb 15oz, 9lb 11oz and 9lb 8oz (fastest/easiest -- water birth). The smallest (first) was the only one that required any stitches (small tear). The day after my largest was born, you wouldn't have said I'd even given birth. I think any doctor that wants to perform a section for baby size doesn't know what s/he is talking about. (Baby heads will shift! Fat squishes!) I would be concerned about that lack of basic understanding of the birth process.

The point? Because medical professionals need to feel that they're DOING something, and it's hard for them to sit on their hands and let mamas and babies naturally do what they do. I don't do routine ultrasounds, internal checks, weight checks, or anything else that is useless and/or not medically required. The only reason I went to my prenatal visits was to chat baby/birth stuff with my fab midwife.

I think a lot of people eat when they're actually thirsty. It can help to have a glass of water and wait five minutes before eating, just to see if it's really hunger or thirst. Also, starting and ending every meal with water is helpful for me (when I remember to do it!). I also find it helpful to think about foods I'm adding to my diet rather than ones I'm taking away. So instead of thinking "I need to stop with the cookies!" I think about adding more fruit. Then I'm focusing on reaching for the fruit instead of pushing away the cookies. (I can't ever just eat one cookie... unless that's all that's left.) Regarding EFT... Here's a great site to help you get started: http://tappingqanda.com/learntapping/ There's lots of fabulous information there.

Well, opening this thread was a roller coaster of emotion. :lol: Very cool chickens!! :D Yay for the coop score!