This is what keeps me up at night. We have literally been living outdoors all summer and camping remotely almost every other weekend. We are also super active outdoors in the winter but winter here is 6+ months of snow. Lots and lots of snow. And blizzards and wind and ice and and and..... Keeping warm is only part of the challenge with socializing or doing things outdoors. Just the two months at the beginning of this pandemic almost did my whole family in until the snow melted enough to really do anything. Looking at the colors change on the trees has always brought me joy. Now it brings crippling anxiety. We have a four-family bubble but still do all things outdoors and distanced as much as possible. These are hearty people and I can see us still doing the occasional bonfire in the dead of winter but it will be very occasional and predicated on decent weather which can be distanced by weeks.

We once stayed in Jackson, NH for a long weekend of XC skiing. It was heavenly. It was a while back now but they had long trail loops that took all day with places to stop for snacks and meals along the way. I believe all of the grooming we saw was for classic skiing only, no skate. If that matter to you, I'd check on that for sure.

Thanks! We wanted to be sure we weren't breaking some unspoken rule or etiquette about LOR coming from the school in question. That means we have a stronger pool to pick from. But we still are having a hard time choosing from the remaining 5!

Want to have some fun sorting out a good problem? We have too many LOR writer candidates and have the luxury of trying to sort out which would be the best. Dd is in 12th grade and is 95% confident on her college choice. There is no question that she will be admitted and will qualify for some merit aid assuming she is EVER able to take the ACT or SAT. There is a full scholarship opportunity that we think she has a decent shot at. The selection criteria are GPA, an essay, and one LOR. Seeing as they only submit a single LOR, dd wants to ask the very best choice to submit it. Dd has 3 main areas that we would expect the letter to draw from: music, sport, and academics. Assume all are very familiar with and likely to speak on dd's personality and work ethic in a positive light. Assuming all of these options are reliable and likely to write a complete and well-written letter, which is likely to have the most positive impact: 1. Long time music teacher who has known dd personally outside of teaching most of her life. She is faculty at the college. She is also familiar with dd as an athlete and is quite knowledgable about dd's education. She can speak on dd as a musician, athlete, and scholar. 2. Dd's current employer who also happens to be a bandmate and adopted "grandfather." He is emeritus faculty at the college in the area of study dd is interested in pursuing. He is hands down dd's biggest cheerleader. He can speak on dd as a musician and scholar. 3. Another band mate who is similar to #2 except he is a researcher at a local company and has no connection to the college. He can speak on dd as a musician. 4. Yet another band mate, similar to #2 and #3 but is current faculty at the college and has also coached/followed dd in her sport. He can speak on dd as a musician, athlete, and scholar. 5. A long time family friend who has been involved in dd's music management and can speak in-depth to dd as a scholar. He knows nothing about her sport. He is faculty at the college but is also "controversial" as a faculty member. He is likely to craft the most well-written and entertaining letter. He can speak on dd as a musician and scholar. 6. Another family friend that has been very musically involved with dd. Of all, he probably knows the most about dd academically. He is also faculty at the college and is very well known and regarded. He can speak on dd as a musician and scholar. On paper, #3 is the weakest but also the only viable option not directly connected to the college. That is our biggest question. Is it good, bad, or neutral to have a LOR come from faculty at the college in question? If that is generally frowned upon, #3 will be our lucky winner by default. After that, it seems like the remaining 5 are pretty equal and we would just be sorting out by other potential subjective factors. For instance, #5 will for sure write the most entertaining and memorable letter. It will for sure stand out. It is unlikely that anyone on the selection committee will be aware of his controversy on campus but there is no way to know that for sure. #1 is a LOR writing professional. #6's reputation on campus is stunning but again, the committee members may not be aware of that. #2's letter might sound like someone writing about their favorite grandkid. #4 can go the most in-depth about dd's sport which is a VERY big part of her life but is also likely going to write with most bland letter. Thoughts?

The nature of this pandemic and the wildly varying opinions on its seriousness make this a problem. Dh is not high risk nor is anyone in my household. His concern is not about getting sick but rather doing our part to control spread. The people who would understand this as an act of God or emergency have already modified the plans for their weddings or have postponed them. The people he would have to try to use these clauses with would likely not see this as applicable.....especially when they are following their local laws, or lack thereof. As terrible as this is, dh is no more at risk than the vast number of people forced to work in the service industry. It is hard to whine too much about what he was exposed too when we think of grocery cashiers and hotel workers and all the other people doing even riskier things where there is no contract. I was just speaking to a much earlier post about how wedding workers are indeed showing up to find that the event is not as safe as they may have been promised. Or what is even more likely, that the clients planned to be safe but quickly found they have no control over 200 people who have been drinking heavily.

Yep. All contracts that have been signed since we realized how bad this was going to be has wording to address this. Specifically that he can back out if the event does not follow local laws, if anyone involved in the event (including him) has tested positive within 14 days or is displaying symptoms, etc..... His weddings typically book out 18-24 months ahead of time so he has weddings through next summer that have the old contract.

He does. He does not think he can call it an "emergency" if the event is following all local laws. He was assured by the couple that every precaution was to be taken. Not to mention he had already sunk the cost of a rental car, gas, and lodging. His business is barely hanging on by a thread right now. The financial and reputational loss of backing out on the day of the wedding seemed impossible. In hindsight, we wished he had but that was not until after the guests were all flaming drunk and acting even more irresponsible.

Yes. Photographer.

My dh is currently quarantining at a friend's unoccupied house because of this very thing! Most of his weddings this summer got canceled, postponed, or modified to be Covid-compliant due to our state guidelines. But he had one last weekend that was in a different state with almost no restrictions. 200+ people, no masks, no distancing. They did not even bother to follow the state's meager guidelines. He was the only person wearing a mask! And because it was legal in that state and he was under contract, there was nothing he could do. He has another wedding this weekend that will be Covid-compliant but now those clients are struggling to decide if they want to risk having him there.

Both!

Ha ha! It really isn't as hard to make as it looks. I use this simple recipe: https://minimalistbaker.com/simple-baba-ganoush/ I do char my eggplant over a BBQ. But I char HUGE batches all at one time and freeze because I end up with a million eggplants and this is the only way my family will eat it. I for sure do not recommend turning on a broiler in hot weather!

When we have a string of hot days coming up, I'll make 6-8 salad-ish things that we will eat for lunches and dinners in whatever combo each prefers. There are endless possibilities but some are listed below. I try to make 2 of them higher protein and/or will beef up the green salad with hard boiled eggs, cheese, nuts, avocado, etc..... Most will keep for several days in the fridge so we can graze as needed without ANY cooking. Tomato-basil-mozz salad Green salad Potato Salad Baba Ganoush Deviled eggs Stuffed grape leaves Cucumber salad Hummus Black bean caviar Tabouli Pasta salad Quinoa salad Gaspacho Fruit salad Guacamole

We are at 10+ days to get results. There is absolutely no point in testing if it is going to take that long. We are a university town.

We have had the diffusers for a few days now. I didn't see collars. We have purchased them in the past, but it has been years. I don't even see them on the website. I wish older cat would just run away. She is pretty fierce once she is provoked. It takes two people, a towel, a shot of whiskey, and a lot of courage to clip her nails.....

I'm so sorry. That is what I fear. We have not had litter box problems yet so I hope that doesn't happen! We only have one vet, unless I want to drive two hours with irate cats....which I don't....so hopefully mine will be helpful.

Do you do anything about it in the moment or do they stop on their own? How long does a fight usually last? Is it the type of yowling/shrieking that makes your hair stand up? We have had cats for 20+ years but never had a situation like this so I am struggling to know if the level of conflict is as bad as it seems to me. I think I have watched too many Jackson Galaxy videos because he keeps saying to never ever let this happen again....which as far as I can tell means never ever let our cats go free together without direct and constant supervision. So as soon as I hear growling or hissing, I feel like we are losing ground.

I made vet appointments for them both. The earliest I can get in is two weeks from now. So if they are still at it then, I will ask about medication possibilities. We do not have kennels that takes cats here. In fact, there are no professional pet sitting companies either. We live in a somewhat odd geographically isolated area. Everyone we know thinks we are 100% crazy to even hire a sitter. Everyone else just puts down a big bowl of kibble and leaves town for a week without a second thought. We have an arrangement with an older neighbor lady to come twice a day to feed and play with them and clean the boxes. I hate to ask her to manage eager cats, doors, food, etc..... But, obviously, I will if I have to. I just cannot imagine managing this "reintroduction" for weeks/months/forever! I am really angry at the situation. We really do have enough on our plates right now without this.

You all are helping to calm me down. Thank you! I am just so worried that we will have to leave town with little notice to help my mom. My cat sitter is great but there is a limit. And my poor dd would like free access to her room again!

Well.... This is Day 7. We covered the windows and put cat repellant outdoors. I have not seen the outdoor cat today. We have been using Feliway for 3 days. Our two cats have been allowed more and more free interaction. Yesterday, they spent about 5 hours loose with supervisions with no problem at all. I have noticed younger cat's tail has been poofy (at the base only) here and there, seemingly when she is happy. I did some Googling and read that younger cats will some times poof like that when happy. So I tried to stop worrying about it. Cats were separated over night. We tried a joint breakfast this morning. Both were loose. Actual eating went fine. Then about 10 minutes later, younger cat poofed up and started growling/advancing toward older cat. Older cat gave a few hiss/spits back and was starting to ramp up. I snatched up younger cat before anything happened. They are currently separated. I feel like this is it. There is no hope:(

Ha ha! I will propose this idea to DH. I am not holding my breath.....

Is it working for you?

We live on a corner lot on a very steep hill in a small city neighborhood. The houses were built well before cars hit the scene so the lots are small and the houses are close together. Being on the corner, we have one less house right up close to us, so that is nice. And our lot is significantly larger than most. There is less privacy and more road noise. We have double the salt and gravel to remove from the edge of the yard after our 6-month snow season ends....so much so that we have to hire someone to clean it up. The corner is somewhat busy during the day so backing out of our driveway requires care. We don't have a fence so I don't know how that works. Half of the people who live around us have junk cars and trash all over their yards and do not mow their lawns so any "landscaping" we ever do is above and beyond the norm anyway. It was a bit stressful when dd was a small child. We trained her well but I always had to keep a very close eye any time she had friends over. For us, the pros outweigh the cons.

I saw those and they look super cool. However, I don't have an outdoor faucet....which is too bad because this could solve several other problems as well (assuming skunks also wouldn't like it). We would like to install an outdoor spigot of some sort but it is not in the financial cards at this time. We currently run a hose out an open door from our basement when we need to wash a car or something but this would not be secure overnight or when we are not home.

The cat belongs to the old lady across the street. I am quite sure she would be very upset if I temporarily restrained her cat. She brings her cat in every night. I have already talked to her about how this is causing trouble but she says her kitty MUST go out and that it is not illegal. And she is right, it is not illegal in my city so I think I am going to have to handle this one some other way. Also, while this is the only cat giving us trouble at the moment, wandering cats have historically been quite common in my neighborhood so I imagine we will have to deal with this again.

What has worked for you? I need to keep a neighbor cat out of my yard and especially off of my deck, ASAP. I have another thread discussing a terrible fight my two indoor cats had due to getting all riled up by a neighbor cat outdoors. The incident took place on my deck which has a sliding glass door. I have put up paper across the bottom of those windows so the cats cannot easily see each other. But there are counter tops on both sides of the door and the cats (who are still being re-introduced after the incident) will hop on those counters and can see over the paper. This is the door we use to enter and exit the house so we cannot completely cover it. We also have 14 other windows. Again, covering them all is not really an option. It is over 80 degrees here and we have no AC. We must be able to get air through the windows. We live in a city neighborhood on a corner lot. There is no way to keep them from seeing other cats from afar but I'd like to keep them off the deck and out of the yard, if possible. Since the incident, this cat keeps returning and seems to think this is funny. There are no laws about cats here. I see sprays at my local feed store. Has this worked for people? What parts of deck/yard do you spray? How often? Other options that don't require frequent application?