Excelsior! Academy
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Posts posted by Excelsior! Academy
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2 hours ago, Katy said:
I have to question what is meant by “extreme abuse.” I’ve brought home foster children from the ICU that we only got called for after weeks in hospital, when it finally appeared they would probably live.
That’s my definition of “extreme abuse.” Surely the people who agree with that use a far looser definition than toeing the line on murder?
ETA: we also had a 3 year old with a medical file almost 3” thick. The more I think about this the more ridiculous a standard “extreme abuse” is.
Extreme abuse is exactly what you describe, but could be physical, s@xual, mental, etc. I purposely left the definition ambiguous, because trying to define every abusive scenario is too much of a challenge. Josh Duggar has been extremely abusive to Anna. Dh and I adopted and are raising kids with fas and rad, and I absolutely agree that they have experienced extreme abuse.
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2 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:
I think it’s also important to recognize that a legal marriage doesn’t prevent a parent from doing these things. It may keep the other parent more aware of goings on, but there’s no law requiring a husband (for the common example) to follow a wife’s parenting rules.
True.
1 hour ago, ktgrok said:I don't think you can make that blanket statement. You just can't. You have no idea what people are going through in the privacy of their homes. There was no "extreme abuse" in my marriage, but it was ABSOLUTELY best for my son to end that relationship. He was being emotionally neglected, and was going to grow up thinking that is how families operate, that is how relationships work. He was SO much happier and healthier after he was out of that situation. And my now husband, his stepfather, has been a HUGE blessing in his life. My son would be the first to say that. He also now has siblings, which he loves, and wouldn't have had if I'd stayed in that marriage, as well as much greater financial stability.
Recently divorce was a topic at church. The paster was clear that it is not to be done lightly, or for less than serious reasons, and that God hates the idea. But, God doesn't want people in unhealthy circumstances either. I thought that was a good way to put it.
Even functioning relationships can be messy, so I do not pretend to know everyone else's situation. I am glad that you found a solution that worked well for you and your family.
1 hour ago, Faith-manor said:And you are wrong. You absolutely cannot make that statement as has been attested here by people like myself who were very wronged by our parents staying together, who have witnessed and experienced a life time of hurt. And I wasn't physically or sexually abused either. You have no idea what it may be worth to kids, and as marriage and family is complicated, you cannot make this claim because in some cases it will absolutely be worth it, and in others, not.
Since my only life example is divorced parents, I cannot clearly see through the lens of parents that stayed together. While I value your perspective and it doesn't change my opinion, it does help me see your very valid point.
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They claim to be a free, online, accredited university. Thoughts? Opinions? Scam?
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I would quote/like Rosie’s post if I could. Those are the main reasons I would stay together. Do and I both come from divorced parents. We are in the stay together at almost any cost camp. It is not worth it to the kids to separate outside of extreme abuse. The type where there is no question that custody will be a no go to the abusive parent. Remember that when one divorces, one has no control over what one’s prior spouse might say or do to the kids. They most definitely could paint you in a bad light, raise them much differently religiously or not at all, allow media that you don’t approve of, or even just expose them to friends or situations that are not safe or ideal.
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On 10/4/2021 at 11:24 AM, Lady Florida. said:
Public bathrooms should always have a hook for a purse, jacket, or whatever else you don't want to put on the floor. It's frustrating to to get in a stall and realize you have to somehow balance everything because there's no place to hang it or set it down.
"Resealable" bacon packages are also a lie.
Resealable anything like frozen vegetables and baking mix.
On 10/4/2021 at 2:54 PM, SusanC said:Plus, what kind of criteria are they using to decide your gender? Maybe your name actually IS Franklin C. Jeffers III, who are they to tell you it is not? Maybe your dad was an early proponent for gender equality, maybe you suspect you were switched at birth, who are they to contradict you about your name? It wasn't a Zoom call, I'm guessing, although even if it was...
Yes! We ran into this with a mortgage company. There was a reason several years ago that only dh's name was on the mortgage. We live in a community property state so if anything had gone south between he and I, I was more than covered financially. The company would not speak to me unless they had verbal "approval" from him first. Not only did we change companies and add me back onto the mortgage, the company ended up with a class action lawsuit due to their practices.
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23 hours ago, Terabith said:
I find it suspicious that the worst outage for Facebook/ Instagram/ What's App since 2008 occurs the day after a whistle blower spoke publicly about the harm the company has done.
Yep. And a day before the hearing (deposition? trial? something like that.)
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She will only be in the next town over and rooming with her sister, but I'm still struggling with the transition. We will only have teens and a tween in the house. Gone are the days of lots of little kiddos. 😢
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15 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:
Do you ever feel like you live in a dry residential dorm? Our house has had that feeling for the last year…bunk beds, late night pizza orders, the roommate who won’t turn the music down, another roommate who is studying when someone else wants to sleep…
Yes!! Good analogy!
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plus a 10 year old. That is how many kids live in my house right now. Holy hormones, Batman.
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3 minutes ago, busymama7 said:
But why does he care? He's trying to get that evidence dismissed? Am I confused? (Covid fog is rampant here 😩)
I read on here (A different thread maybe?) that photographs of hand can be used to identify creeps uploading photos. As in their hands are in the photos.
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When we wanted to match paint we scraped an actual piece off of the wall and took it to have it matched. The paint matched exactly. You might try that in the future.
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Thank you to everyone who has responded. You all have brought up excellent things we hadn’t considered. We will definitely contact a reputable contractor and make sure we have the proper permit and ventilation.
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@Indigo Bluehave you seen the video that is circling around posted by a public school teacher about elbow bandaids? She teaches k. One day she asked the class if anyone had ever hurt their elbow. Everyone in the class raised their hands. She gave one child a bandaid for their elbow. Then she asked who had ever hurt their knee, then she picked another child and gave them a bandaid for their elbow. She repeated these questions and each time gave the chosen child a bandaid for their elbow. Fair isn’t always equal. Not everyone needs the same things at the same times. I don’t feel obligated to purchase new shoes for every one in the house just because one child needs a pair badly, but I do make sure everyone gets to go clothing shopping at key points in the year. Their purchase pile may look different than their siblings due to hand me downs and current growth needs, but they all get to shop.
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My first thought is of course not! I love all of my children equally and genuinely love them the same. On the outside it likely does look like we have a black sheep. We have one child in particular that has challenges from fas, early childhood trauma and rad. This child chooses scenarios that require a different level of supervision and necessary rules for safety. For those that don’t see behind closed doors, I’m sure it looks like we are tougher on said child, but the reality is we aren’t. Child is fully aware that if x behavior happens then x consequence happens. Often that means child misses out on opportunities if dh or I can’t accompany child. I’m sure on the outside it looks like child has considerably less freedom, but it isn’t the case. I was able to see Nicholeen Peck speak at a homeschool convention and got her book A House United. It was so good and has given us lots of strategies to help children who have those type of challenges, so at least we aren’t flying blind!
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44 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:
Are you hiring a contractor? We are willing to take on lots of bathroom projects, but bathroom installation isn't one of them. Even when we've done significant bathroom remodels, the plumbing stubs were already in place, as well as the ventilation. It's one thing to put in a shower pan or lay new tile, but you are talking next level stuff.
Yes. We haven't consulted one yet, but it is the plan. Do we need a permit?
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7 minutes ago, Ailaena said:
Interior bathrooms have to have an exhaust fan, right? Are those difficult to put in?
I'm not sure.
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57 minutes ago, Pam in CT said:
As other pp have already pointed out... the design logic has to start with the plumbing. First egress (particularly how the toilet will connect -- if the space is directly above the laundry, it'll probably be cheapes to put the toilet as close to lined-up to wherever the laundry egress is) then the shower/bath. The sink is easiest to put in whatever space is left.
Also, pocket doors can help a lot if there are issues with inadequate room to swing (two doors swinging into a small room is not great, but depending on the configuration of the bedrooms there may not be room to swing out. Pocket doors rock.)
Pocket doors! Excellent idea!!! Would it be weird to have a pocket door on one side and standard on the other?
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1 hour ago, Laura Corin said:
If there will be a toilet, can you get a good route to the sewer? What kind of floor is it and will it accommodate the pipes?
I think so. The downstairs laundry is directly next to the downstairs half bath. I'm not sure about the flooring type and needs. We have a standard two-story house. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.
1 hour ago, gardenmom5 said:Do you have a crawl space underneath? How will plumbing be accessed?
does your jurisdiction require bedrooms to have closets? (as well as egress). Here, if you remove a closet, you can't call it a bedroom.
is the wall that needs to be removed a bearing wall?
No crawl space between the stories. Plumbing routed through the wall? I was hoping to add a small closet in the newly added bathroom that could double as a bedroom closet. If not, no problem calling it a bonus room. We have a five bedroom house. The egress would be two doors on either side of the bathroom into two separate bedrooms. No window, though.
1 hour ago, gardenmom5 said:where will you tie in the sewer? gray water and sewer are generally separate pipes.
Now that you said it, it's obvious. Thank you for bringing this up! I think it will be able to tie into the downstairs half bath next to the laundry room.
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It will be directly above our laundry room.
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We are planning to take a walk-in closet and turn it into a jack and Jill style bathroom connecting to another bedroom. We may need to move a wall. One room will no longer have a closet, but the other bedroom will still have two. I’m thinking we may be able to add a small closet space to the newly installed bathroom. I don’t know where to start.
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43 minutes ago, AnotherNewName said:
The thing is he knew enough to also use Tor and to use partitions to hide his activity. I find it puzzling he didn't also know to hide his IP address as someone with that level of tech savvy should know that is a concern. The response from the prosecution will shed some light on the investigative side.
I agree. Criminals aren't usually very smart. Reptiles like Josh Duggar are especially foolish.
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I am not sure. They have varying opinions, however when I was younger I felt strongly for then against having children. I now have a family 1/2 the size of the Duggars, so opinions and life circumstances can change reality drastically.
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19 minutes ago, katilac said:
Son is also being selfish and also needs to grow up. It is both of them.
I totally agree! I did say they are being unreasonable, but was I just addressing the bulk of the post in which the daughter in law seemed to need more "me time." The son definitely needs to grow up and should be more sensitive to his own parents' health issues!
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Wow! The entitlement is shocking. They are being unreasonable. I regularly took all of my children to the grocery store and anywhere else I went. There was no other option for me. None. It sounds like they need to invest in a grocery delivery service, a baby gate, and maybe a season or two of a cartoon series. TV may not be the worlds best babysitter, but occasionally setting up a baby gate in the living room with a tv show while the kiddos' parent sits at the table to paint their nails while still in view of the living room is a viable option. Even if it was weekly, no harm would be done. DIL is being selfish and needs to grow up.
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Please share your vacation rental recipe ideas
in The Chat Board
Posted · Edited by Excelsior! Academy
We have a 5 day vacation rental booked for later in the fall/winter and will have access to a standard kitchen and outdoor gas grill. So far I've come up with sheet pan meals, burgers, and lots of breakfast ideas. Hopefully, the rental will have a crockpot. If it doesn't I may purchase an inexpensive one and leave it there. Please, share your recipes and rental property meal hacks you use when traveling.