Plucky
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Posts posted by Plucky
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If he really wants to wait for marriage, it might be a good idea for him to have some personal boundaries that don't just stop at the edge of the cliff, but further back, iykwim. One of my friends did not stay alone with a boy after a certain hour, which was a bit earlier than she would if it was just girls, b/c she knew she'd be tired and more prone to give in to the temptation to stay over, even w/o s3x. Another said No to bare skin touching or lifting shirts and other clothing items. Just make sure he knows there will probably come a time when he doesn't WANT to follow his boundaries, and what to do then.
$$--Make sure he knows about credit (I advise waiting for a real job before getting CCards, or getting a student card and just giving it to parents to hold on to). Show him about compound interest, if he hasn't gotten that lesson. Sure wish I'd had it.
Make sure he realizes he can talk to his professor about assignments--but not to expect due dates to fluctuate, even with really good excuses.
He's really good about money. He's very frugal and a saver. He has set his own boundaries so far in regards to intimacy and it has worked out.
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My ds needed to know what OTC medicines to take for what simple symptoms - fever, cough, sore throat, snotty nose and when to go to the doctor. He also needed dosing information since the directions weren't often in English.
He had to cook for himself and needed help not only with budgeting for a month of food but also learning how much food he needed to eat. If he'd had a cafeteria it would have been different, but cooking for himself required a set of meal-planning skills he didn't have even though he could cook.
Other little life skills - sewing on buttons, mending small holes in clothes, getting out stains, when to use a butterfly bandage and when you need stitches. They really do figure out this stuff on their own. Experience is a great teacher.
Good idea about going over medicines and what they are used for. He's the kid that kept taking liquid benadryl for his cough. :glare: He does know a lot about first aid otherwise thanks to boy scouts and very adventurous friends.
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How to make a doctor appointment and how to fill a prescription. I had always done that for my children and when older dd was in her first semester of college she caught a cold that moved to a chest infection. The campus clinic gave her the rx. But she had to call me and ask how to fill it. :lol: She also asked how to pick a good vitamin c and which kind of thermometer to get.
Well...:001_huh:...of course she had to ask. I had always done this for them when they were sick.
He goes to the pharmacy regularly and knows how to fill prescriptions. I'm going to send a thermometer and vit. C. But that is a good skill to double check.
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I'm not trying to change him. Just arm him with some more information. We are very close and so he tolerates some of my ideas but makes his own choices. When he goes away he'll be on his own for the most part although I'll be around if needed. He knows that his real adulthood starts in 46 days and that I am a little anxious over everything. He also knows I will get over it.
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Most girls will cut their hair short eventually. They will then discover if they like it or not. It does grow back. Both my girls have cut their hair short. Oldest didn't like it and it is long now. Youngest gets hers cut short all the time. She looks really cute with a short cut. I wish I did.
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I agree with a calendar with alarms on the phone. I just used a 5 subject spiral notebook with my schedule taped into the front when I was in college. I never used a proper planner.
I didn't either but I love my calendar apps and alarms. I'd like him to be more organized but I can't make him. Still, I have a few days left to influence him and I'm going to try. :001_smile:
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Is he doing fine without a planner? My 19 year-old son does well without one.
What about using the calendar on his cell phone, ipod, or other electronic device? Most teens I know would opt for that route over a traditional planner.
I know. I use apps and he could use an app but he says he doesn't want to. Perhaps we will discuss more. I don't think he does fine without a planner but he does. We call him the Absent Minded Professor.
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I just learned that my dd 5 sometimes poops in the litter box too.
:blink:
I was telling DH how I'd discovered that she'd pooped in the bucket we keep in the bathroom. He laughed and mentioned the cat box.
Maybe you can teach your cat to poo in the toilet and leave the litter box to the 5 year old. Too funny!
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More questions, do any of you that have kitties also have parakeets?
Have any of you tried this litter box? http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005E2S77C/ref=ox_sc_act_title_2?ie=UTF8&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER
This litter? http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0009X29WK/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?ie=UTF8&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER
One of the issues we have in our home is chemical sensitivity so I know that we will need to get something that isn't fragranced or full of chemicals. Some of you talked about the natural wood but when we had bunnies I couldn't handle the cedar chips that we got for them so not sure the wood pellets would work for us.
My mom has birds. I don't know what kind except they are loud and squawky. They have a cat now and she said they had to declaw her because of the birds. I don't know. Mine are indoor/outdoor cats, controversial I know, and need their claws.
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And *always* use protection. It's all fun and games until your p*nis feels like it's on fire.
He took biology classes and I think it scared him. He's waiting until marriage he says and seeing std images made quite an impact on him. I will discuss though. Oy.
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we also did the "rules to keep yourself alive and out of jail" talk.
rule #1. i don't care if you get pregnant. (or get someone else pregnant). i care if you get dead. hiv is real. before you have sex with someone, you both need to go and get tested. you both need to use birth control. sex is always better inside a committed relationship. it plays with your heart and your brains, making someone seem more attractive than they otherwise might be. i'd wait until i was in a committed relationship. your call. and then i have always added.... welll, that's not exactly true. i do care if you get pregnant. but we can deal with that. getting dead, not so much.
rule #2. don't drink anything you yourself didn't see opened or poured. ever. do not leave a drink unattended and then drink from it. ever. if you drink rum and coke, you can make your second and third and fourth just coke, and no one will ever know. ditto vodka and orange juice. the longer you stay at a party, the more people will have had to drink, and the more nutso/crazy/illegal/dangerous things will happen. usually two hours early on is enough to have fun, and folks will still remember you were there. after that, not so much. if someone is buying you drinks, choose something really expensive. scotch is a good choice. most university students don't have enough money to buy you more than one. its hard to drink a ton of scotch quickly, too. and if you don't like it, that's even better ;).
rule #3. as soon as any illegal substance appears, you leave. always. guilt by association happens, and changes your whole life. (believe it or not, dd #2 saved herself huge grief when she left a party after something not legal appeared..... and everyone else who didn't leave spent the night in jail, and some much longer. ie. i never thought i needed to say it, but did because i needed to know i would need to know i had if anything bad happened).
rule #4. never walk home alone. never get in a car with a driver who has had anything at all to drink. always carry cab fare, because you never know when you will need to leave on your own, quickly. i will happily give you extra money to carry. (my mom called it "mad money", and i did use it once myself).
rule #5. no one stores anything in your room, in your packpack, etc, at all. ever. you don't hold something for anyone, ever.
:grouphug::grouphug:
ann
Excellent. Thank you.
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While it may be uncomfortable...provide your own protection. I'm just pointing it out since I recall intentional pregnancies on the part of some girls during my college years.
If you have any concerns about his managing money, I'd cover that.
Ewww. That is something to discuss.
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"as soon as you catch yourself making excuses about why you did something, or didn't do something, that means you need to not do it/do it right now."
you have a good inner voice; listen to it.
build yourself a schedule, including when you do laundry, when you get up, when you go to bed, when you eat, what you eat. follow it. start now, so that part of it is already automatic.
flylady has a college section. as a mom, i'd check it out and see if i could recommend that to dc.
i've never actually known a university student to iron, so i'd probably skip that ;).
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
ann
A schedule is a great idea. He kind of prides himself on being a fly-by-the-seat-of your-pants guy. :tongue_smilie:
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I have bought him planners before and he didn't use them. I'm going to try again and go over why, how, etc. Then it's up to him.
My 15dd got her planner out and has been adding things already. School doesn't start for another month. I love her.
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How to make coffee, he will start drinking it sooner or later.
Are they allowed hotplates? How about toaster ovens? Microwave? How to get a halfway decent meal out of one. Eat 2 pieces of fruit and 2 vegetables every day. Pasta sauce counts as a vegetable; pizza sauce or ketchup does not, unless you are personally eating a cup of it. Baked potato and broccoli=great quick lunch.
Good idea. He eats a lot of fruits and veggies now. No hot plate, yes microwave.
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If he is going to have a loft bed, teach him to tighten the bolts every couple of weeks. Do they have loft beds in dorms still?
He's been taking college classes already, right? So I assume he can read and follow a syllabus.
Change out your toothbrush if you get sick.
You will make mistakes. It's ok. You will still be loved, and that's what college is for.
If you only eat brownies for a month, your tongue will turn black.
Yes, he has a loft bed. I will add that. Toothbrush idea check. He's a health nut so he only eats junk on the weekends. LOL
I will remind him about being loved and making mistakes. I'm not one to think that plan A is set in stone. My ds is one of those who will not quit and he takes that to a fault at times.
Yes, he's been taking classes for the last two years and working at the same time. He is pretty responsible. There are only a few skills I think we've missed. In the end he will learn just as we all did. :D
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We take ds to university in 46 days. I am trying to think of last minute skills to teach and wisdom to impart - much to his chagrin.
I am going to go over ironing. He's been doing his laundry forever so that isn't a big deal. The importance of being careful with your laundry if you don't want to do it often, i.e. tossing stuff on the floor that isn't dirty, putting wet towel in you hamper on your clothes. Reuse clothes that aren't dirty.
Time management and effective use of the academic planner. Setting your goals early instead of playing Beat the Clock which he usually loses. Binder organization seems like a time waster but can save you.
How dusting your dorm room periodically is a good thing and will help you all to breathe better. Wash your sheets now and then. Hang up your towel so you can use it again and it will be dry when you next use it.
Yeah you're the man, but don't be stupid. Crime is up in the city and you need to be careful at night. Go with a buddy.
This is your personal first aid kit. You will still call me at 3 a.m. sick and desperate and I will tell you where it is, but you will be less miserable if you know where it is yourself.
Argh! He's a smart kid although a teenage boy. I know he won't do all this or care but I have to fill the knowledge gaps before he goes. What am I missing?
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I walk, have lots of animal & kids, read, watch a lot of foreign films and documentaries - my kids love to tease me about this. I like to do research. My hobbies are pretty low key now and I can fold them into our busy lives.
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I'm sorry. Native American rules are pretty strict. I understand what they are trying to accomplish, but I think the rules can be way too restrictive. It is hard to find good foster or adoptive homes for many of them. Is there anyone you can appeal to?
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Thanks, everyone. You have been so helpful. I am thinking I will start looking for a kitty/kitties and see what we find.
If anyone else has input I am still reading.
I have to say many of you made me chuckle. When it comes to training cats I will say I did train the two we had to NEVER go into the kitchen nor get on counters or tables. Neither of them did. At the time we had them we were state lic. and even having animals at that time in the facility was a stretch but if the state inspector would have ever come in and found one of our pets in the kitchen or on a resident dinning table we would have been written up big time and probably had to get rid of all the pets. They trained very easily to not be there though. :001_smile:
See if your local animal shelter covers spay & neuters. I get my cats & kittens from there because for the price of the adoption fee $65 the surgery is included. A free cat/kitten costs me upward of $100 to fix. Something to consider.
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I've had the opposite experience from the previous posters on male/female cats. Both male cats I had had issues with marking and not using their litterboxes (2 completely separate time periods/houses/etc.). Both my female cats have been great. Our current cat (female) is 16 and she has always loved my dc (she's not cuddly, but has always been very interested in them and spends a lot of time with them). Although she's not a lap cat, she's very people oriented.
Well, I have boys and girls and they are all friendly. I will say that my long-haired cat is a bit of a diva. She also gets poop stuck in her pantaloons. Very annoying.
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No, you do not crate train a cat. They don't need it, and they will go bananas trying to escape. Cats are not like dogs...you really can't "train" them.
People don't own cats...cats own people. :lol:
Cats train their people. They are benevolent dictators. I have 4 and love mine.
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The op said that the audience was rather quiet after that song and more enthusiastic about the other performances. I would assume that some attendees were rather taken aback by the song but polite. If I was in the audience I would be like "Wha...?? Oooookay. Thanks for the effort. (polite applause) Next!" :001_smile: It didn't sound like anyone was OFFENDED, just like, "Uh, that was weird."
:lol::lol::lol::lol:
That is exactly it.
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That might be the new official policy, but it's not the reality. China still has a one child policy and boys are still favored.
Yep, she was probably told to tell the American family that propaganda contingent on getting her visa. It is more PR than reality.
Last minute adult life skills to teach before university?
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
I'm trying to think what that entails myself. See them home safely and if they are vomiting monitor them?