astrid
-
Posts
4,771 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Blogs
Classifieds
Store
Posts posted by astrid
-
-
OOH! drive a *little* further east and go to Webs!
Well maybe more than a little. It's in central Massachusetts. :-)
But we travel a lot for dog shows so I"m always on the lookout for fiber stores, so I'll watch this thread carefully!
astrid
-
You go, mama! And again, as the psych expert poster said above, professionals are the way to go here-- this is just all my own armchair thoughts, based on what we've been through/are going through right now. No psych degree here--- American Studies, Political Science, education, and a grad degree in educational leadership. :-)
Plus, parenting an only-- not like I've got tons of experience there either. :-)
astrid
-
She's so smart and has drive for what she wants even though she is totally unsure of what that is. I do expect though that she can follow a schedule and be truthful about it. She knows if she has a problem that she can ask. Sometimes she is just too proud to admit needing help, but also lazy because she knows it will require work on her part.
Again, this sounds like depression/anxiety/OCD to me.
I'm glad your morning has turned around-- and as we all know, a little ice cream can work wonders! :-)
Hugs to you,
astrid
-
She goes to bed at 9 pm. She normally takes 1 mg of melatonin, but says she's been able to sleep lately. I think I may start adding it back in, but she fights me on it too.
I'm actually planning on printing what I've written here and taking it to her GP to have a chat. She's a nice lady and she'll listen and give me suggestions.
DD picks her face...I know it relieves anxiety...
I too am not one to just jump on the medication bandwagon. I think there are times for it though and we may need to go that route with her. I will talk to my DH and make an appt with her GP to discuss this myself and then take her where she needs to go from there.
I want to thank you all for your insights/suggestions thus far. It has really been most helpful. I can see where we are overlooking things and where we need improvement. I want her to be a productive strong girl. I want her to be driven to learn on her own and to do her best. I know not everyone is like that, but I know it's in there. I see it in some things she does.
Oh and she's not real OCD about any one thing. But she does like a tidy room with everything in it's place...but she's not tidy about appearances, or clothing. She doesn't care if clothes pile up for a few days, but generally her room is tidy.
GOSH--- we are not meds people either, I think Molly has been on antibiotics THREE times in her 15.5 years, but I cannot tell you the difference it's made. Please--- strongly consider it. It will change your world. It has ours.
About OCD behaviors--- you usually don't see them. Picking her face is one. For Molly, the big one is hair pulling, which we didn't even notice until her hair was so thin! Another that she has, but we never saw, is that she says that for instance if her right arm itches and she scratches it, she has to also scratch the same spot on her left arm. She says she's always done it. We NEVER noticed that! And she's an only child! It's not like we have ANYONE else to focus on but HER! :-(
Also, so, so many OCD behaviors are not physical manifestions that you would see. Cycling through thoughts, mental images, etc. ALL OCD, but not outward manifestations. She probably doesn't even know she does it. But her poor mind is probably working overtime. Heck, the "getting the last word" and "over-talking" are probably OCD-related.
Bedtime-- again, I seriously doubt that she's going to sleep at 9 and getting a full night's rest. Overtiredness can really ramp up OCD symptoms, so it's probably a vicious cycle she's caught in. Please, consider the meds. She's a good girl-- she wants to do well. I suspect she just doesn't know how to break the cycle she's in.
astrid
-
:iagree: I have OCD and clinical depression, and I completely agree. I was the same way in high school. When you're a teen and you have depression and anxiety issues, escaping into your own fantasy world is pretty much the only way you can get by without going insane. (My "drug" of choice was the Pern series by Anne McCaffrey. :p) The hormones are bad enough, but with mental health issues on top of that, it's a nightmare. Couple that with the lack of sleep from getting up at five in the morning, and you're lucky she's doing as well as she is, op.
I would really recommend taking her to a doctor. Even a low dose of an SSRI can do wonders.
YES YES YES.
That's what her drawing is-- she's escaping the anxiety of schoolwork, which she is anxious about, and she's anxious about it because she knows there will be negative consequences, and that makes her more anxious, and so her escape is drawing, which she KNOWS she's good at and can give her a boost of positive energy.
I also agree with the early rising. Teens have a bizarre sleep pattern-- they're physiologically programmed to stay up late and sleep late. With her early alarm, she's probably not getting enough sleep, even though "bed time" is 9 pm. I doubt she's actually falling asleep then. Even if you think she is, she isn't.
Molly is on a low dose of Celexa, and as I said, four weeks in now and she's literally crying from relief that she feels so good. And remember, she never gave us a moment's cause to discipline her about ANYTHING. If it can make a kid who to all outward appearances was a model child feel so much better, I can only imagine what it would do for a kid who's lashing out.
Hugs to you both!
astrid
-
Thank you Astrid. I'm glad that you are saying this....she's always been such an emotionally charged child (since she was young) that we chalked it up to being a drama queen to this point. It seems to be her nature, but she really seems not able to control herself at times. I mean, she just can't stop talking over you, proving her point, 'just saying one more thing', etc...
Oh honey..... the more I learn about OCD, the more I can look back and see it in Molly from an early age. She was never defiant, disrespectful, or anything other than perfectly pleasant and compliant, but now I see things that she'd do or say or feel that make me think that there were underlying tendencies there all along, but because she IS so good-natured, we never even gave them any thought. And until we started seeing her CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapist) for the hair pulling, there are things that SHE didnt' even realize are OCD. For instance, when she's doign her school work, she gets fixated on whether her answer is wrong. So she'll erase the entire thing and start again. Then her mind will just cycle through self-doubt and her need to be RIGHT, and then the OCD/anxiety builds. When we homeschooled, the ONLY times she'd turn ugly was during math. Now looking back, I see that though her anxiety over chaotic school environments was eased, it showed up again when she tackled her worst subject-- anything math-related.
Anxiety can manifest itself so many ways. Do you have any family members that you know of with OCD or anxiety? My husband has a first cousin who went through a hand-washing phase when her parents got divorced, and struggles with OCD now as an adult. There can be a genetic component to it.
Honestly, I feel for you--- and we're going through it all. Feel free to PM me.
Still more hugs, because you need them, mama.
astrid
-
WEBS (yarn store) has AMAZING customer service. I'm lucky enough to live an hour away, and it's one of my favorite places to shop. The salespeople on the floor are SO helpful, patient and knowledgeable. I've also ordered from the via the telephone and website and had the same great experience.
astrid
-
Is she eating grain-free food?
What's her breed/size?
What's her activity level?
astrid
-
She wants to do her version of fun...not ours...being outdoors is not her version of fun unless she's swinging on her swing with the ipod...
Oh man....I hate to keep harping on it, but yeah--- this says depression/anxiety to me too. Self-soothing OCD. Repetitive motion. Music. Escapism.
aaand more hugs....
astrid
-
We took her to her brothers parade yesterday. She tried everything she could to get out of it, stating that people get shot at parades, they yell and are pushy... We explained that we were driving in it and we were throwing beads, that it would be fun and we were all going to support her brother like he goes to support her at her music recitals. She ended up having a grand time tossing beads and talking with people. We have to do this for most activities, just force her to go. It's always unpleasant the whole way there and we try hard to talk about the fun we'll have. She sulks and whines and complains or picks at her brother and cops a major attitude...then she has fun (most of the time). But when it's over she's back to sulking about having to go instead of doing what she wanted and will bring it up later to let us know how horrible it was that we made her go.
Gosh...she's just so darn prickly!
This is waving a huge "anxiety" flag for me! I know, I know....I had no experience with it either until just a couple of months ago. With Molly it manifests itself as hair pulling. It's actually why we took her out of school in 2nd grade. Now she's a sophomore in high school, at our small, family-centric public high school and it's rearing it's ugly head again in exactly the same way. Hair pulling. But looking back, Molly has always been uncomfortable in chaotic, crowded situations such as big parades, concerts, etc. It's why the chaotic environment of public school was so awful for her, and it's exactly what she says makes her pull her hair in school now-- the rude, disruptive, loud behavior of her peers.
Anyway, something to think about-- again, the meds took about three weeks to kick in but I cannot adequately express the positive difference.
Hugs again,
astrid
-
:grouphug: I think your dd is depressed. IMHO, that could account for everything in your post. :(
I agree. I haven't read all the responses, but I read down to this post thinking, "This is a depression/anxiety issue!" She's withdrawing, and even a new horse didn't pull her out. I'm so sorry-- I know how hard it is. Do you think she has any OCD issues? We're learning about this with DD, who is a perpetually happy, bright, compliant, accomplished kid. Yet we are seeing how these heretofore unseen OCD issues have been impacting her schoolwork. Molly is the LAST kid you'd ever suspect of needing medication. Our pediatrician is VERY conservative with medication, yet he suggested we try Celexa. I cannot tell you the world of difference it's made. She's also seeing a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist who has helped a lot as well.
I'm so sorry--- sending hugs, and suggesting that perhaps you look beyond the schoolwork at an underlying issue.
astrid
-
I really like Hope Elise.
I am sorry for your loss of her twin.
Yes, Hope Elise is lovely.
And I"m so sorry for your loss.
astrid
-
OP, did you realize that "Haven" is the name of a supernatural Sci-fi series, set in the fictional town of "Haven, Maine," and based on a Steven King novel?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haven_%28TV_series%29
astrid
-
I don't get the connection between "Haven" and "Jordan" but perhaps it's obvious to others?
Wasn't there a series of books in the '80's with a weird character named "Heavenly?" "Haven Lea/Leigh" sounds like "Heavenly" to me. Do you want it to sound just like a sibling? With "Liberty," "Felicity," "Jubilee" and "Haven Leigh" that's kind of a lot of rhyming. But then again, they'll all come running when you holler out the door! :-)
Then again, as recently posted here, I tend to be much better at puppy naming! :-)
astrid
-
Me neither. I live in Connecticut, and New Haven is a crime-ridden city, East Haven's mayor made a racial slur about Hispanics and "apologized" by offering to give them free tacos (yes, really!) and West Haven isn't much better.
Personally, when I see kids named something that's a noun, for example, I always wonder if, when they're 35, they'll wish their parents had just gone with Margaret or Jennifer or Caroline.
Hope is lovely, though.
astrid
-
Dogs are pack animals; they do best in a social group of staggered ages. That said, you've just illustrated why I always caution people NEVER to get puppies of the same age at the same time. Glad it all worked out for the best.
astrid
-
Jennifer in Michigan's Best Ever Christmas Card! :thumbup:
I can put up my decorations, gorge myself on fudge, listen to Christmas music twelve hours per day, but it's just not Christmas until I see those angelic boys, serenely smiling while one brother clamps a white-knuckled vise grip on his precious, pink yet utterly hysterical little sister.
You think I"m kidding. I am not. It makes me laugh until I cry EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.
Come on, Jennifer--- you knew I was going to ask! :-)
astrid
-
Awwww! Wonderful!!! Give the little guy a squeeze for me!
Astrid
-
Go to the meat counter at your grocery store. Up on the shelf near the icky stuff-- tripe, suet, etc.-- you'll see beef shank marrow bones. They're usually packaged 2 to a pack, about 6-8 inches long, and look like a long, cylindrical bone with straight cut ends. They're cheap. Buy them, freeze them, and then when they're frozen, give them to the dogs. They'll work like crazy at them, and their teething will be satisfied. Sweet breath (really!) and no tartar on the teeth.
ONE WORD OF CAUTION, THOUGH-- with two dogs, be CERTAIN that they're in separate crates when they're working on food toys-- Kongs, marrow bones, etc. You do NOT want to set up food guarding issues.
astrid
-
Tired puppies are good puppies.
Work them until you think they're tired and then work them some more, because they're beagles--- and they're not tired. Beagles have very strong genetics telling them to GO GO GO GO....... RUN RUN RUN......... and do it in packs. You have a pack of beagles. They are behaving like a pack.
Mental exercise is more exhausting to puppies than physical exercise. Clicker train. Clicker train everything. EVERYTHING. Google it-- tons of websites and youtube videos to help you get started. I am serious----- mental exercise. You don't need obedience class. You need road miles. :-)
Kudos to you for hangin' in there. Beagles are not an easy breed, and two at a time is insanity! :-)
astrid
-
Seriously! It's a wonder I get anything else done. He is such a love bug.
Ok, so now are you suggesting "Good Man, Charley Brown" or still "He's a Good Man"?
Either is adorable, but I still like "He's a Good Man."
But I would call him "Charlie Pookins Love Sponge Sweet Boy Come Snuggle With Me." Too long, you think?
astrid
-
Can't stand Mannheim Steamroller OR the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Aaaaargh.
HATE HATE HATE Trans-Siberian Orchestra!!!!!! HATE IT!
astrid
-
OMG I am dying of cuteness! '
I'm hugely devoted to my breed, but there is nearly NOTHING as cute as a Cav puppy. Seriously. If I lived with him I would do nothing but stroke that soft head. He's just darling!!!! And he looks like a "Good Man, Charlie Brown!"
Hugs,
astrid
-
Mannheim Steamroller. I think I"m the only one on the planet. I just hate it. HaTe it. HATE IT.
I know I"m in the minority, so I don't expect a JAWM party. But if anyone feels similarly, I won't fee quite so alone on my Mannheim-free island. :seeya:
astrid
Absolutely at the end of my rope....
in The Chat Board
Posted
Yes. But I contend that there's a whole lot more mental illness around in teens than we as a society care to admit. Many get through it fine. We all had our share of angst. Sometimes it is just kids being selfish jerks.
As with any negative change in behavior or health, sometimes it's wise to seek professional help. Often what looks like just jerky, unpleasant teenager crap belies underlying issues that can become horribly destructive.
Just my two cents-- YMMV.
astrid