Ouch!! We arent going through deployments right now, thank heavens, as Dh is on shore duty. But, in our 14.5 year marriage he has been deployed 8 times for (6-8 months) plus work-ups which are 2-6 weeks a piece before each deployment. At one point when Dd11 was a bay he had been gone for something along the lines of 30 of her 36 months. Of those 6 months he had not been home for more than 2 weeks at a time. So, to get to e point..... We have been married 174 months and he has been gone more than 80 of those months. I feel your pain. Having said that.........homeschooling. It was Easier! With smaller children. Seeing the ages of your kids that makes it a lot harder. In our house there are 3 things which are never ever neglected. 1) reading - you have to read books. 2) Math - you have to do math. And 3) Critical thinking - we are big believers in critical thinking. So. First off take a deep breath. Second, look at your "piles" of school work left of the year. What is *really* critical for the rest of this summer? Start dropping the NOT necessities. What can be stopped for right now and restarted in the fall? Don't burn out right before he comes back.

My twins would have been: The twins I lost at 18 (young and stupid) would have been Jessica & Jamie (boy). But they were named by the presumptive adoptive family. Kyler Jeffrey & Kaleb Jamie / Kayla Renea (we weren't sure if his twin was a boy or girl.... he/she passed before birth) The two sets of twins I lost as a married adult (not-so-young and hopefully-not-so-stupid) would have been: a) Mehal Ronan & Marin/?? Rori or (the first two being a b/g combo) b) MiKayla Renea & Maeve Reanne and the second set I was convinced were girls and I was unwilling to even discuss boys names LOL. MiKayla Renea (I love that name) & Margaeli Riona. As for names I like...there are just too many. L didn't get ignored, she was just a singleton (thank heavens). Kris

I'm SOOOO excited!! My dh is up for orders about the time they man his section and _I_ really want him to request this ship. I think it is headed to San Diego eventually. Isn't she pretty! Kirs

I think degrading shouldn't be the point, but it is VERY much the case. As Alice mentioned, this came down to communication. When I talked with the head of Peds this morning he wanted to make sure I understood WHY this part of the exam was important. It is normal to a point. I'm okay with that. I don't have a problem with the "we want to make sure everything is okay" part of the exam. HOWEVER, the child has the right to have everything explained TO them and still have the right to say "no". Kris

ROFL!! Maybe it shouldn't but that really made me laugh!! This is actually why I *like* using the military healthcare system. Most active duty medical professionals I've know are NOT stuck in their "I am god" role. Yes, there are exceptions, but the majority of the active duty docs are normal/real people. Plus, they get the military life. I'm sorry if "you" (whomever you is) don't like it, but my daughter has had NUMEROUS doctors over the years and there isn't anything we can do about it. Military docs don't even blink or ask about her previous doctors other than what the plan entailed. It is the civilian ones who tend to have problems and have a god complex. Kris

UPDATE: I decided to head into the base and clinic first thing this morning arriving about 20 minutes before they started seeing patients. I am SO glad I did!! I was able to have an informal conversation with the head of Peds and filed an "informal" complaint through the military system (vs filing a formal complaint through the civilian side of the equation). I can't apply for a new PCM due to staffing for 2-3 weeks, but I have contact points for a forced change of PCM if the insurance gives me any grief. Sooooo, I'm nominally happy. I am *very* happy with my conversation with the head of Peds. He had seen my daughter before and remembered her and agreed that none of what I said was acceptable behavior towards a child of any age or standing. He also agreed that it is important for a child to understand why something is being done AND the child still has the right to say "no" to the doctor. That the parent is then responsible to "check and see" for any visual abnormalities. So!! There we are. Thanks for everyones thoughts. Kris

But, in this case with MY dd this isn't what happened. She wasn't given a gown. She was asked to remove her pants. She wasn't given grace to have privacy, she was scorned. She wasn't given ANY explanations until _I_ sought them out, she was scorned and ignored. Kris

LOL!!!! Well, just so we know........ did you wear a helmet while riding a bike and have a car seat when you were a kid?!?!?!?! Kris, who didn't have either

This was a Pediatrician. She is a civilian but has worked at a MTF for most of her career (it was in her bio). Kris

No, not a pelvic. That _I_ would have refused right off. No, this was just a spread the legs and look kind of exam. Kris

Again, we did prep for the exam.... I just had no idea the doctor was going to look under her undies. We've had numerous doctors over the past 11 years. Negative side of military life. I can't help it nor can I do anything about it. We don't have the doctor/patient relationship built up over the years. As for her last exam, she stripped down to her undies in 30 seconds. Didn't care a lick. It was just under a year ago. BUT, no one has looked under her undies since she was a baby. Really, since she wore a diaper. Kris

I was hoping you would respond, thank you!! This doctor didn't explain anything. My dd is smart and very articulate and needed information. Heavens, _I_ couldn't figure out what needed to be checked on an 11-year old girl to be able to fudge it in the 10 seconds I had to explain. We did discuss the difference between a stranger and a doctor, but honestly, this doctor WAS a stranger. She didn't talk TO my dd, she talked _about_ my daughter. Whenever there was a question it was asked of me.... even when we were talking about her poops!!! I mean really! I don't know how often she poops!! If she isn't having problems then she doesn't tell ME about it!!! :001_huh: THis is hard for us. We move every few years and I prefer to stay in the military healthcare system. That comes at a cost.... this cost is that she's had 2 doctors here and we've lived her for less than 1 year. Her first doctor was wonderful, but quit the military healthcare system. SIGH. I may have to take my dd/children out into the civilian system. She really doesn't _have_ health issues. She had something which turned out to be mono in December. We took a round-about way to figure it out and it was some strange strand.... her first Ped's doc, the ID, and Hem/Onc all decided that in 6-months we needed to do a full blood workup and see how she looked "healthy". Just to make sure there wasn't something else going on with her. This is why I pushed her to have the physical exam in the first place... she needed to be seen and have her body examined. However, the push for the genital exam was over the top. She has the right to say no and as her mother _I_ have to back her up and refuse content to check. I hope that is the case here. Maybe next time she'll be unhappy about it but comply. We discussed what happens at my exams (she asked) and what would happen at _her_ exam. I think with the next doctor we will be discussing it WITH the doctor first and will still give her the ability to refuse... but to refuse with comprehension of what to expect. Thank you for your post. I really do appreciate it! Kris

Oh good!! I'm glad to know that I'm not alone here. 1) I didn't expect my dd to object to her pants being removed and 2) I did NOT expect the doctor to look at her privates. Kris

I asked if anyone has touched or even looked at her naked (other than me, cause I know I've seen her naked in the past month) and she said :001_huh: "no". I agree that this is just her developing modesty and physical boundaries. I chatted with a friend of mine who has 5 girls and she said each of hers when they hit 10-12 they each resisted strangers seeing them naked and sometimes even people they knew. They would still streak in front of their mother/sisters/little brother.... but they just didn't want other people to see them. Kris

I did prepare her for the exam, just as I do all exams. My other child is an Aspie and if you don't go over every. single. detail. he won't cooperate. So, I'm used to detailing out what to expect. I didn't expect her to go under her undies. I didn't even know that was an issue. We've had doctors ask about her privates, but never want to look since she was little. Kris

We had a few conversations this afternoon. As a "true" homeschooler, DD spent the afternoon buried in every "s*x ed" book we owned, forgoing her regular school work. If the doc wanted to know about hair she could have asked... I did! I will NOT allow a forced exam on my dd. I had one when I was a kid and it was BAD BAD BAD. We did discuss there WILL be a time in the future that she'll have to have a visual exam down there and eventually a physical exam. BUT, she needs to have time to mentally prepare for that eventuality. We had a discussion about her brother's birth (she was a c-section). She was grossed out, but wanted details. So, we discussed them. Kris

Yup! I'm requesting a new PCM to be assigned tomorrow. I will NOT be subjecting my dd to that again. I've yet to decide if I'm going to file a complaint..... Kris

::delurking:: Okay, I used to be so-so active here and have gone into mainly lurker mode for quite a while. We just got back from a new doctor visit "well child" check-up. This is the military health care system, BUT, the doctor is a civilian and female. ***if you want to get to the point, skip the details and go to the next set of stars**** My daughter is 11-years old and is starting to develop bee*st "buds" and uses deodorant. She has _finally_ learned the term modesty. Her last physical (about a year ago) she stripped almost naked without blinking an eye. This time it was different. First the doctor wouldn't take my concerns about Lori's health problems back in Dec seriously. (We spent a month in and out of the ER, Infectious Disease, & Hemo/oncology only to find out she had some weird strain of mono.) She was focused on the fact that my dd is only partly immunized. We have a plan and we are good with it. I can understand why the doctor needs to know about the immunizations, but that is a long-term issue that isn't going to be fixed overnight. Whereas the Dec health issues need to be addressed again now that we are almost 6 months later. If her blood work comes back "fine and dandy" then Yay! But, we can't just assume. We need to actually GET the blood work done to see how she is doing now. Then, the doctor did the physical exam..... and DD didn't want to take her pants off. We finally got to the point of the problem and she didn't want to change in front of the doctor. So, I asked the corpsman for a gown and we were able to move on with the appointment. The doctor did her physical and then insisted on looking under dd's undies. No way. Dd wanted nothing to do with that. She flat out said "no". We discussed it, I reminded her that the doctor wasn't going to touch, that her private parts are hers and no one has the right to look or touch without her permission. She said "NO. I will not compromise on this, I will not take off my undies." Okay. Fine by me. She has just as much right to refuse medical care (when healthy) as I do. This wasn't being defiant. The blood drained out of her face and she was embarrassed and terrified. She did not want the doctor to see her privates. ***** At what age can a child (girl or boy) decide they are NOT going to cooperate? If she is old enough to need to have a "girl-part" physical, then isn't she old enough to say "no"? The doctor was put out, to say the least. She started pushing the fact that this is how she tells if there are any "problems". So, I asked my dd... are you itchy down there? Does it smell funny? Do you have any problems? She said "No." and was _very_ embarrassed. The feeling I got from the doctor was either I _make_ my daughter do this or "Else". Whether "else" was she was going to call Children & Family services because an 11-year old girl doesn't have the right to say "no". Bull. Pockey. Those are _her_ private parts. She owns them. If they aren't causing her problems, then why should the doctor even consider this a major issue? As a mother I've known this time was coming eventually. This child was my streaker. She loved to be naked. Anywhere. Anytime. But, eventually little girls grow up and define some sort of modesty for themselves. Does the doctor have the right to force the issue? Thanks, kris

Seconding Mrs M!! Go back to the basics of TWTM. List the things Son needs to have and the go from there. Remember also, you can have more than 1 "year" of English going at the same time. As for continuing to homeschool or to put the kids into school (if that is even a concern)..... remember, the military life is what it is. HECTIC!! at times. Enjoy what you have and move on with what you can. Go back to the basics of ENJOYING homeschool! Plan and take your vacation and regroup. Kris (Navy wife for 14 years with one 9th grader)

:::delurking::: My 11-year old dd enjoys reading my medical journal subscriptions, as long as there are no skin diseases. She keeps asking me if there is an equivalent mag for vets. I refuse to look......that's just gross. Kris

::delurking:: I've been enjoying this thread and just wanted to throw in my 2c here. My mom has a 4-year old black lab who is about 120 lbs (monster dog) and he is a pure bred (rescue). He is the world's biggest pushover.... ...unless... ... you mean harm to her or me (probably my kids too, but it never came to that) harm. He barks up a storm and *really* dislikes being told to stop but the only time I ever saw him bear his teeth was when some (insert expletive) dude decided I was fair game. The man retreated so fast I couldn't give the police a very good description of him. I honestly thought the dog was going to take his hand off if he got closer to me. My daughter took food out of the dog's mouth and he didn't do anything worse than lick her trying to get the food back. But, some dude decided to touch me and he about came unglued. Good luck, Kris ETA: I have a 10 month old Aussie who is about 35 lbs. She is a great dog, but smaller than you want LOL. I'm not looking forward to Abq later this summer while visiting my in-laws. Hot and dry!!

Honestly, I think you just have to fly with it. If you are comfortable with someone, you might be able to discuss it and then ask, does that sound like bragging, 'cause I'm trying hard not to brag. But, be prepared for strangers to give their own opinions. When Lori was 3 she yelled (she was a loud child........still is really) at her brother (aged 6) that he was "being inappropriate and disrespectful" when he was playing with the bras in the woman's section (my dh was "watching" them :glare:). This lady walked right up to her and told her to "speak with inside voices and to use age correct words". Well, I happened to just be on my way to tell her to use her inside voice, but stopped when the lady addressed her. (This was a military store, so I wasn't upset with someone else correcting her.) Snicker, my off-the-growth charts 3-year old (she was the same size as her smaller-older brother) looked at her coldly and said, in a perfectly normal voice, "Why would I use little 3-year old words when my vocabulary is larger than that?" I then had a 5 minute lecture from this lady on how I needed to get her into school or else I'd have an over-educated brat on my hands. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Still am. Good luck with your 71 month old. Kris

I wouldn't be so concerned IF you are planning on sticking with MUS. Think about it, MUS is a different kind of math. It doesn't follow the normal math curriculum schedule. If you stop mid-cycle, then yes, you might find your child behind. However, if you follow the curriculum through, then you should be fine. So, yes, you have to make sure that this curriculum will for your child, but that is true for all math curriculum. Kris

::delurking:: I don't wear a ring and neither does my dh. My dh's job when he is at a sea command he is at risk for losing a finger if he has jewelry on his hands. I don't wear a ring because I don't like jewelry. Kris

This is why I don't put math into the files. Math is at the child's pace. I get a few week's worth out at a time, usually 6 weeks out when I fill the current weeks sets. Then, if there is any speed up I just pull from the next week's file and if there is any slow down I just push the pages ahead. Kris