Thank you! I'm trying and my patience is being tried!! LOL! I really hope my kids have a good time this summer, too. I really do want them to have a good relationship with their dad. Kris

DS doesn't eat potato. He isn't truly allergic to it, technically it is considered a food intolerance. BUT.... when the reaction is severe diarrhea for days on end... we use strict avoidance to the food. DS does not want to challenge it. The last allergist we saw did not feel the need to press the issue and nor do I. It is his body. So, is he "still" allergic to it? Yes. He has the right to decide for himself if he wants to find out more. As for XH taking them to the doctor. Ya. that isn't happening. I won't go into why here, but that isn't going to happen. Please understand, I love my children more than I hate my XH. But, a tiger doesn't change his stripes. Kris

Thank you!!!!!! Thank you for changing the way to see this. I needed this as much, if not more, than I needed some clear thinking. I am going to focus on changing DD's thinking and methods over the next 7-8 weeks before they go. I'll talk to DS too, but I think he's at a good an comfortable place. DD needs work though. I didn't realize how irritated I am that he doesn't know until it was pointed out in this thread. I am irritated, but it is a minor irritation in the grand scheme of the whole. Yes, this is their first visit. They have seen him at his parent's home a couple of times, but there his mom was in control, ::shrug:: I think that was easier on me as well as him. Thank you, again! Kris

Okay, let me clarify.... I am not actually very angry about the food issues. Irritated and frustrated and trying to get a clear head before dealing with it.... yes, but angry, no. I am angry, though. Dealing with my XH has been very hard. He takes any opportunity to hurt me that he can... when he is unsuccessful, then he tries to hurt me through the kids. I normally go to my son's therapist for advice on how to deal with him; he is unavailable before Monday. My friends and family all gave me advice that didn't feel right. So, I came here. I thought, correctly as it turns out, that I could get advice from rational people who think a lot like I normally do, when I'm not hurting and more likely to lash out rather than think clearly first. He has a habit of discussing things with the kids that he shouldn't. My DS flat out ignores him when he does it. The boy actually hung up on his dad the last time he started talking about money. My DD on the other hand doesn't know how to deal with her father. As for the "telling off" about the food. My DS can and will stand up for himself regarding food. He won't be eating anything he shouldn't unless it is slipped into his food without his knowledge. His food allergies are not life threatening. My DD on the other hand as life threatening food allergies and is NOT capable of standing up for herself to her father. She is comfortable telling her grandparents her food allergies. She is comfortable telling her friend's parents, her Scout leader, and other adults in her life. She is not comfortable telling her father. Why? ::shrug:: I have no idea. I think this is something else that needs to be brought up with her therapist. Thank you for your thoughts, Kris

Thank you, Mrs. Mungo, you are dead on. Kris

I'm not sure why she was upset. I'm not sure she knew why she was upset. I know why *I* am upset and it has nothing to do with food. That is why I'm asking for objective advice here. I am upset and easily upset these days when it comes to XH. Thank you, Kris

Hey Mungo!! I sat down with both kids this afternoon and we talked about it. DS is not in the least bit worried about food at his dad's house. He is quite comfortable with his food arrangements. He was relieved that I am going to print it all up. LOL, he forgot he's allergic to apples. He just doesn't eat them! He's a great kid and makes me laugh. My DD is not as confident. I'll be working on that over the next 7-8 weeks before they go. I don't think I realized before it was mentioned on here that was quite so irritated/upset that he doesn't know what the food allergies are in the first place. Since I have nothing nice to say, I'll say nothing. Kris

This is an interesting idea for this. I might just do that. Kris

Tammi, You are dead on. I'm having a hard time with this in general and add in a small complication and I'm ready to spit nails. Sigh. Thank you, I think you are right on all accounts. Kris

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I am NOT offended by any of it... actually, that is why I posted here. I really wanted outside feedback. *I* am ready to throttle the man, which is why we are not together anymore. I sat down and talked with both kids. They both know what they are allergic to. They both have to problem telling anyone. DD12 is uncomfortable eating away from home (my home) except under certain circumstances, but her food allergies are by far the worse. Neither child feels comfortable telling their father off about food. Danestress, I agree with you... thankfully this is NOT a case of he doesn't believe or want to follow the "rules". DS16 told me that his father wanted to know if he was "still allergic to potatoes". DS doesn't touch potatoes with a 10-foot pole. We have no idea if he is still allergic to them, and I don't blame him! His body! Thanks again, Kris

::delurking:: Morning! Okay, so I have a question and I'm hoping some of you might be able to give me some input. Background info: My kids (almost 13 & 16) are set to go and visit their dad for his "Parenting time" for most of the month of June. Both kids have some severe food allergies, both life annoying (severe diarrhea or hives) and life threatening (anaphylaxis). We've been dealing with these allergies for the past 12-14 years. NONE of these allergies are new. Plus, just to add complications to the whole mix, both kids have food aversions to texture and taste. My XH has a new live-in girlfriend. She is a vegetarian. So, now he is too. He has told me that he expects the kids to eat what they eat; I've told him that he isn't going to be very successful and the kids will not like it. So, my 12-almost-13 year old daughter comes to me yesterday and says, "Daddy wants me to provide him with a list of our food allergies so he knows what he can't cook for us." She was VERY VERY VERY uncomfortable with this. I talked her down and told her not to worry about it, I would take care of this with her dad. My questions are: Should my 13-year old daughter and 16-year old son be responsible for their own food allergies? My kids are very picky eaters, a lot of that having to do with their food allergies and aversions. When they eat at other people's houses, we (the parents) discuss food options and meals ahead of time. Yes, this is annoying to be doing with a 16-year old, but such is life. That is what you do when you have life threatening allergies. I've shrugged it off for years and no one has ever had a problem with me butting my nose into it. Is it appropriate for my XH to be going through our 12-almost-13-year old daughter for this information? I *really* want to call him up and chew his head off, but I know that isn't the most diplomatic way to handle this issue. I am of the opinion that this is a PARENTAL issue and should be handled by the PARENTS. I am trying to even touch the issue that he doesn't KNOW what the allergies are in the first place; I figure that wouldn't help the situation. Thoughts? Thanks in advance for anyone who has any advice!! Kris

It has been a HARD adjustment to civilian life, really for all 3 of us. My dd12 is doing the best out of all of us. I couldn't put her in the local middle school because their solution for her math "problem" was to send her to the high school daily. She was going to take algebra at 12 with a bunch of 15-16 year olds. Um. No. My ds15 is having a hard time adjusting to daddy not being around and generally being an a$$ about being available. He is *really* having a hard time to not homeschooling. Most of my problems are simply not being around people who understand. We are really close to an AFB, but it's small and I've only met a few AF wives. Most of the people I know are "normal" civilians. No one seems to understand the: I've been in this house for one year now (this was a few months ago) and since I'm not moving………. I need to rearrange furniture. Or, LOL, why I refer to purchasing food as, "going to the commissary" even when I'm headed to Walmart. I still have base access, mostly because the actual divorce is taking so cotton-pickin long, so that helps my mind a bit…. but I won't have it for much longer. Civilian life is hard. Kris ETA: I wrote an email today to my Psychology instructor. She made a comment in my latest essay about something I had said, which was something to the effect that men are financial providers. She commented, "…don't you see more and better female providers?" Um, no!! Not in the world I lived in for the past 16 years. The largest percentage of people I've encountered over the past 16 years were AD men of various branches and their wives. Some of those wives worked, some of those wives had careers, but for the majority of the families: the AD husband's income was greater than the wive's income.

We're doing okay. Both kids are doing well in school. They are adjusted so-so to their dad being absent. I started school myself last year. Other than pre-calc, I have all A's. I've applied to a Speech & Hearing Sciences degree program. Thanks, Kris

::delurking:: Okay, I am no longer homeschooling (due to divorce), but I always come back here to check things…is like my brain. What age is your high school freshman? What age do most in YOUR area start 9th grade? Another question: My son has a late April birthday. What age should he be on Sept 1 to start 9th grade? Should he be 14 years 4 months or 15 years 4 months?? . . . . . . . I ask because I am *regularly* getting odd looks and lack from educators here. The school he is in (online) argued with me for 2 weeks until they tested him….. then, they changed their tune. So, he is now 15 years 9 months (give or take) and in 10th grade. Most of his peers are 6-12 months OLDER than he is. Do kids not graduate at 18 anymore?? Thanks, Kris

Thank you!!! Kris

::delurking:: I know there are a few people on here who have babies in diapers….. I tried looking this up online, but wasn't able to find anything other than the weight size. COuld someone please please please tell me the length and width of a size 5 or 6 diaper? It doesn't matter which brand. Thanks, Kris

I'm peeking in after a very long break and thought I would pick the Hive brain. What do you think of food cravings? I don't just mean the I'm-PMSing-and-need-chocolate-or-you-are-dead kind of craving but beyond that. I've been craving salmon. BAD. I dream about it. I salivate at the thought of it. I have salmon in the oven baking right now.....and it will be the 4th serving of salmon I've had in 7 days. Thoughts? Thanks, Kris

Okay this is very true and I didn't think about that in connection with other moms I've talked with. And when you consider the different areas.....ya, I'm IN a high cost area. _My_ insurance doubled monthly when I moved here, from $50 to $100 a month and that was just from moving. So I did call around a bit and ended up talking to a broker who finally asked me what I was looking for. This _IS_ a good rate for where we live and his age and what we're driving right now. He also explained at this time I _might_ get a better rate from another company overall, but long term it is better to stay with the company I have (USAA). So, I'm happy. Thank you all for your thoughts! It was interesting to read other amounts people are paying. I am happy to know that my daughter will cost less then my son....though not surprised. Kris

Morning! So, I have a question for you wise old high schooler moms........ My son just turned 15. I sucked it up and called our auto insurance company to see what the horrid number was going to be in 6-12 months to insure him. I called and..... $140 a month to insure him driving my fully covered 2012 Kia Sedona. This is with a post-in-class-and-vehicle-driver's course and a good student discount (he is in public school with a 3.68 GPA). Okay....now _I_ am ecstatic about this cost!! I pay $100 a month for ME. I was expecting to pay several hundred a month for him. Not only that, I don't have to pay _anything_ while he has a permit. He is insured to drive my van ONLY under my policy while he has a permit. ETA: Oh, and if we purchase a "lesser" car for him (we are talking about purchasing my mom's Subaru) it will be around $75 a month give or take. I mentioned this to several friends and they all were like, "ACK! That's horrible. Get a new company!" Uh, no. I like our insurance company and am NOT changing. Was I being overly pessimistic? Were my expectations on how much it would cost wrong? Is this really high and I don't realize it? What are/did you pay for a new teen driver? Thanks, Kris

::delurking:: I've been in states like what you are talking about. You might have a major hassle, but it is easily dealt with. ME, personally, I just keep a paper copy of the label with the loose pills. Example: I have a small Altiods tin (one of the mini size ones) with 2 of DD11's pills in it with a folded up copy of the script label. Then you only have on day's worth on you at anytime AND have the label. Kris

ROFL!! I agree. Dr. Google is a serious pessimist. Whenever I find myself taking this too seriously I go over to wrongdiagnosis website. Just for fun LOL!! Kris

My depth perception is what got me to the eye doc in the first place. As of yesterday my corrected vision is 20/25L & 20/40R for distance but 20/60L & 20/70 up close. I'm kind of in a "wait and see" holding pattern. The eye doc wouldn't discuss with me the possibilities. LOL, that just leaves me with Dr. Google!! Thanks, Kris

::delurking:: Okay, I've been having problems with my vision. What does it mean if I can't see ANYTHING standing out on the stereo optic fly test? ( this one: http://lpoproducts.com/stereoopticalstereoflytest.aspx ) I've been looking online and am starting to get *really* frustrated. 3 weeks ago I saw an optometrist. I could see #'s 1, 2, & 3 but nothing else on this version of the stereo optic test ( http://lpoproducts.com/stereobutterfly-1.aspx ) Today I saw an ophthalmologist and on the fly version of the test I couldn't see ANY difference. They even did the test again, just to make sure the tech did it right. Nada. There were no changes. The doctor said she wouldn't talk to me about anything until we ran more tests. We aren't close to getting a diagnosis. Thanks, Kris

Does someone use a menu to grocery list app/ program that they like? I don't want emeal type of thing; I want to put my own menu item in with the ingredients and have it create a list for me. Thanks, Kris

The Post-9/11 GI bill can be transferred to a dependent child, BUT, there are a bunch of restrictions: Has at least 6 years of service in the Armed Forces (active duty and/or Selected Reserve) on the date of approval and agrees to serve 4 additional years in the Armed Forces from the date of election. Has at least 10 years of service in the Armed Forces (active duty and/or Selected Reserve) on the date of approval, is precluded by either standard policy (Service or DoD) or statute from committing to 4 additional years, and agrees to serve for the maximum amount of time allowed by such policy or statute. Is or becomes retirement eligible during the period from August 1, 2009, through July 31, 2012, and agrees to serve an additional period of service in subparagraphs (a) through (d). A Service member is considered to be retirement eligible if he or she has completed 20 years of active Federal service or 20 qualifying years as computed pursuant to section 12732 of title 10 U.S.C. This will no longer be in effect on August 1, 2013, and on or after that date all members must comply with paragraphs 1 and 2. For individuals eligible for retirement on August 1, 2009, no additional service is required. For individuals eligible for retirement after August 1, 2009, and before August 1, 2010, 1 year of additional service is required. For individuals eligible for retirement on or after August 1, 2010, and before August 1, 2011, 2 years of additional service is required. For individuals eligible for retirement on or after August 1, 2011, and before August 1, 2012, 3 years of additional service is required. [*]Such transfer must be requested and approved while the member is in the Armed Forces. http://www.gibill.va.gov/benefits/post_911_gibill/transfer_of_benefits.html So basically, the answer is "no". Kris