They dont call it July Fry for nothing. May Gray, June Gloom too, so dont go then. Yes to a car. I like Coronado Beach, the southern end, you can watch the military jets fly right over your head as they land on the base. Presidio Park, Miguels Mexican food on Shelter Island or Mandarin House in La Jolla. We miss our city. Lots of awesome churches and wonderful people.

Comic Con is the yearly convention for all things cartoon, fantasy, comics, TV show, manga....There is a decidedly weird element, I mean you can walk around and run into Jabba the Hut, or Stormtroopers, or actors from LOST, or just plain strange people. But there is a tremendous amount of information pertaining to these kinds of arts - books, games, merchandise, you can talk to stars, directors....its just a fun convention. Its in San Diego. We loved it.

I miscarried baby #5 about 8 years ago, in my first trimester. It was awful. As word got out, I found that a lot of my friends had also been through this. It was hard to go to church and to watch a baby dedication. One friend just sat silently with me at every church service. Another friend gave me a book called "I'll Hold You in Heaven". Just being able to say what I was thinking about helped. I didnt want council, I didnt want a big deal (it was just too sad for me), just ears or a presence. Dont know about receiving flowers - Me and the kids would ask Jesus to kiss our baby every night for a long time... There is no "best" way to handle it, tell her you love her, check in on her often, and listen to whatever she does or does not say....

Hi Dawn, I hear you about raising prices. In normal situations, that is fine. We are not currently in a normal situation. So a different attitude needs to prevail - streamline, cut down, do whatever it takes to keep your business running and make your clients want to keep you on. We are cutting out whatever is not absolutely necessary. I also hear you about businesses that "cheat". I used to be an accountant for major hotels. I cant tell you how many times, for example, a government group would come in and request alcohol to be served at their function (against government regulations!), and the hotel would "hide" that expense inside a room rent charge. Taxpayers paid for this. GRRR. God bless, hope your business makes it through!!

Jane - yes, we get involved - I do write letters, etc. I think my "question" was more grassroots than that. KWIM. You are right about blood pressures being raised either way.

OK, I have to vent. Was watching the news and they were talking about the county government not making their budget - they had a huge shortfall. Like, who hasn't. Anyway, this guy says "We wont have to raise property taxes quite yet, but it may need to happen." What? So, you are going to make your budget goals upon the backs of...all of us that aren't working and are wondering ourselves, how we are just going to make it?? Somehow, we are supposed to come up with some extra cash, to keep you afloat? And you afloat? Oh, and YOU TOO afloat?? How do they figure this will work?? If they charge us more property tax, I will magically just have it there to give them? It burns me up to constantly hear companies talk about raising rates or charging more for services, because they are loosing money. Why oh why cant they understand that no one is buying their product, using their services, using services less or whatever, because so many of us DONT HAVE JOBS. We are trying to figure out how to EAT less, keep our homes, not go bankrupt. But yet a lot of businesses think they will be able to charge us more. Another example. Last year, North Carolina had a historic drought. The water company told everyone to conserve like crazy; they would fine you if you didnt. Well, everyone DID conserve. We did such a great job that the water company started moaning that they were loosing money. THEN, they said because they lost money, they were going to raise the rates!!! Huh? Do you feel me? Am I the only one? How do we, as a grassroots effort, make these money hungry companies know we cant and wont pay MORE. They need to either cut down and streamline, or go bankrupt like everyone else. My dh freelances, and we have no work. We are living off savings, I hope to fine one child to daycare... What is this great nation coming to.

We are a MAC house, my son read your post and said get #1 option.

I am sure she does feel unloved. She has always been difficult and always in trouble. She says she feels unloved. I try to remind her how I have done things BECAUSE I love her - quit working to be with her, homeschooled her, tell her I love her daily, teach her about Jesus, read, play, walk together, cuddle, support her interests.... she still cant quite see it, because she is ALWAYS in trouble. She says I love our second oldest dd best (who is never in trouble, therefore, no yelling, no consequences...) she cant understand that this dd doesn't require the same things she does. If first dd just followed the rules! Wasn't rude or disrespectful, didn't fight everyone, didn't steal! I will check out that site, and I do thank you.

I am sure she does feel unloved. She has always been difficult and always in trouble. She says she feels unloved. I try to remind her how I have done things BECAUSE I love her - quit working to be with her, homeschooled her, tell her I love her daily, teach her about Jesus, read, play, walk together, cuddle, support her interests.... she still cant quite see it, because she is ALWAYS in trouble. She says I love our second oldest dd best (who is never in trouble, therefore, no yelling, no consequences...) she cant understand that this dd doesn't require the same things she does. If first dd just followed the rules! Wasn't rude or disrespectful, didn't fight everyone, didn't steal! I will check out that site, and I do thank you.

Should've added, I made Black Hills Gold and indian jewelry, waitressed, worked at a body shop, at a convenience store, a camera store...I cant remember the rest...

As a young person, that is. I would be interested to know.:001_smile:

Beautiful ad. Love it.

I have done all this, so many, many times. She does not care. Did I mention, she doesnt have a job? I cant make her legs walk into a place of employment or make her fingers fill out an application. Wish I could. :glare:

In terms of moving out, she is determined to move out with her guy friend as soon as she graduates. Not a boyfriend (she doesnt have one), a guy friend. DH and I wont allow that - I mean there is a time and place where hormones will take over and something could happen! I remember being a teenager! As long as she is under our control, she is not living with a guy. So entertaining the idea of agreeing to move out would be challenging, since this is the scenario she is determined to make happen, no other. Thats why, when she claimed she would just go and get emancipated, I said great idea - if she wont listen to reason, live under reasonable circumstances with reasonable rules that are meant to shape her into a good citizen with a good future and wants to be free of our "shackles", that would be the only way she can be free of them. Of course moving our would be predicated upon having a JOB first, which she doesnt. I have driven her around, I have found stuff in the paper, on the computer...she says she has "looked and talked to people", but, no job yet. Thats why she takes money from the rest of us, she really doesnt want to work....

I had my dh read over all these posts, hopefully we will be on the same page. I tend to be harder on her. I agree we are at the drastic measure stage. Again. I think the idea of locking the doors and putting her out the next time money is missing is good. I did go to the Juvenile Court last year, for advice, they said that the judge would tell us to put her in shelters etc, before the court system would step in. In our state, after 16, you are treated as an adult for offenses.

I think that you can only test for pharmaceuticals, not pot or glue. And who would test that, the police department? THere is an over the counter thing for cocaine or something specific like that, its not a test that covers a broad spectrum.

I do like the idea of a running tab on the fridge. Heck, I can just take it out of her college fund (its tiny), but seeing it on the fridge is better. Some one asked about remorse and shame. She has no remorse or shame. In her mind, she can turn everything around to blame...me! (You dont give me money, so I have to take it. I dont give her money because a) we dont have it to give, and b) she does nothing to earn it - I dont think failing in school, sleeping and watching TV is enough for an allowance) The fighting is continual! I have to tell her every day to pick up her dirty dishes, to clean up after herself in the bathroom, to throw here trash into the trash can, not on the floor... yes, there are many challenges going on here, too many to go into. The other kids are waiting for her to leave. They all try to love her, but they know she is in trouble. No one else in the family is following her footsteps, we pray for her day and night. She has walked away from Christ. I am sorry, I am just venting - I have been at the place of using tough love for years now, it does not change her. I feel like her leaving would be for the best. Just not at 16 with boys though!! Yes, I will call the sheriffs office to see if an officer can talk to her about stealing, without creating a police record. I appreciate EACH and EVER comment, thank you so much!

Forgot to say, she is 16 (skipped a grade, was a smart kid), graduates this year though. Was in counseling a couple years ago, we had to move 4 months into it, didnt seem to help her - or us - get anywhere. Honestly, this child is just screaming to get into that School of Hard Knocks. I always tell her I want her to have a good life, to not start out with consequences and pain. But she wants the rough life, its HER life, she says. Go, I say, one day you will wake up.

So many of the ideas you gals have posted have been tried. She has spend months being grounded, no phone, ipod...for about 7 months last year, she had her room stripped down to a mattress and clothes, I took her to the cops...lots of things. Anger? yes. Drugs? I did find pot in her purse, hence, the cops. She came "this close" to being tossed to the street, as awful as that sounds, I had addresses of shelters that accept teensI do regularly check her purse for "anything". I think she wants money to be able to do stuff with her friends, a burger, a coffee... Yet, she cant seem to find a job. There are a lot of other things going on with her. She is public schooled, I had to get her out of our home school due to behaviour issues. She is angry with me because "I make her so unhappy, I have given her a life of grief..." Gee, if she followed our rules (all the usual ones), she would not be in trouble all the time and her life would be nice... she does not understand this. Today she said she will go get emancipated. I said ok. Get a job to pay for your court costs and do it. Anyway, I am listening. Thank you for your cyber support!

I am at my wits end, our oldest dd has absolutely no problem with taking money from all of us. She is extremely adept at being stealth and finding it wherever you might hide it. We bought a safe, as my dh uses large amounts of cash on the road and she was helping herself to it. It is such a hassle to have to put every penny that any of us have into this safe. Anyway, I just found she took money out of my wallet again (money I was to pay for a party tonight), she shows absolutely no remorse. DH says we need to catch her in the act. I cant think of a way to do it. I think all we can do is hide, hide, hide it. Ideas??

My dd pointed this out. You know the gray haired lady that was at the end of last weeks episode, the one talking to Ben "God help us all" if he didnt get Hurley...you know that lady? Well, dd pointed out how that lady was in a movie called The Others too. Such a coinky dink. :tongue_smilie:

Dustylizard - such words of wisdom, I have seen those things in our lives too. So very true! The Lord LOVES YOU! :grouphug:

I am so sorry to hear your news! So many are suffering right now, just this morning at prayer, we were discussing how societies fail, the circular nature of it all and asking for strength for what is happening now. My dh free lances and we barely have any jobs. I will pray for you sister....

Desmond is hot.

Perhaps when I dashed this off "I guess its good to confirm we are doing more than our public school counterparts." it was a poor choice of words. I was just posting about our experience and didn't really think that anyone would be parsing my words. I dont know how I could be an "us versus them" person, when our oldest is in public school - I certainly support all the hard work any teacher does. I acknowledge everyone has varying degrees of experiences both homeschool and public. I shall be more careful about my posts in the future! Have a great one -