Ann.without.an.e
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Posts posted by Ann.without.an.e
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13 hours ago, Lecka said:
Here is how I made it. My twins were sweet, easy babies and I was able to tandem nurse them before they were a month old.
10 hours ago, Jaybee said:I keep trying to decide whether to even post on here. Mine were easy babies as well.
It is ok to share experiences that are different than ours ❤️ I hope DD's next baby (if they have more) will be easy lol. I think if they had started out normal from the get-go, it would have been easy for them. If they hadn't had the glucose issues or the feeding problems. I feel they were clingy at first because they couldn't really get in the calories they needed and were always a little hungry and weren't gaining weight? So instead of learning to sleep nice and swaddled for those first sleepy weeks, they were hungry and clingy and unsettled. It kind of set us up for a hard road to relearn to sleep but we didn't find the solution until they were well over a month old. They are better each week. Peach fell asleep in the swing twice this week and Nectarine fell asleep in the carseat. A week ago they wouldn't fall asleep in a car seat or stroller or swing at all, ever. So I think we're making progress.
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2 hours ago, matrips said:
Are they swaddled? I would swaddle snugly to mimic the pressure and warmth of a person, lay them down but keep a hand on them on to soothe them. And gradually, lessen the hand and time. I also used sound machines.
(I had premature triplets). I was on my own from their ‘original’ due date.
They don’t like swaddles nor do they keep them intact. -
Next week is DS's b day and I think we will come much later that day. I will let him sleep in and then take him to lunch.
For those who have inquired, DD is doing pretty good now. We are in a far better place now than even a week or two ago. I was worried that she was overwhelmed and teetering on PPD. I'm not as worried about that anymore. Her disposition has been a lot happier and more positive. When I am here, I've been pulling back some and not rushing into help as much. The girls are happier so mama is also happier. Also they are smiling and communicating better, which all helps her disposition as well.
We will go to the beach and then I will start to scale back here. I talked to DD about that today and she actually said she would also love to come to my house one day a week, just to get out of her own house, which would be nice. This would be on top of me scaling back here too.
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Look at you, being all Queen of Badass
Love it ❤️
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53 minutes ago, lovinmyboys said:
I think you have gotten great advice (of course). She has been very lucky to have you for all of these weeks. I’m in the camp that it will be good for her to learn to do things on her own. Maybe you can go each afternoon so she can nap? Can you wait until they are 3 months old? I feel like that is a bit of a turning point.
My dh was deployed when I had a 3yr, 1yr, and newborn and it was really hard. All three of them cried sometimes and I felt guilt and anxiety about it, but that was our life. The newborn was by far my hardest baby. I would have loved to have help, but being on my own I figured it out in a way I wouldn’t have been able to with help. I learned which balls could drop- we needed clean laundry and dishes, but other cleaning could get put off a bit. We ate super simple meals. Those kids are now 13, 14, and 16 and all are doing well.
They will be 3 months after the beach which is when I’d like to start scaling back.-
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3 minutes ago, Kassia said:
When I had twin babies and a preschooler and was feeling overwhelmed (I had no help and no sleep) I would just chant to myself, "I'm doing the best I can. I'm doing the best I can." There was just no way I could keep everyone happy at once.
I just don't know how anyone could do it without help. I'm in awe of those who manage to survive. I know that the girls have been unusually challenging but twins in general, like how did you do this? Are you superwoman?
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32 minutes ago, vonfirmath said:
delete
Oh I quoted you earlier but the reply went MIA. Dd and babies will be at the beach with us so she won’t be alone while we’re there.
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1 minute ago, Katy said:
To be clear I’ve cared for a shaken baby and the mother didn’t know she could put the (clean, fed, burped, and swaddled) baby down in the crib and that maybe the crying was from overstimulation. That particular baby needed a dark quiet room to calm and sleep. The idea that letting a baby cry is always harsh and cruel is also harsh and cruel. I bristle at the idea that sleep training even at a young age is harsh. There are extremes at both sides but frankly I think a lot of young mothers aren’t told leaving a baby in a safe space is okay even if they’re unhappy about it. Obviously screaming for a long time is too far in the other direction.
I think I've said it in another thread but I really feel for the young moms now. It is impossible to be a mom. Tik Tok is the worst too. DD watched a lot of it when she was pregnant and it was one scary thing after the other. Don't let your baby fall asleep in a stroller...they'll die. Don't let your baby fall asleep in the carseat...they'll die. The swing? they'll die. In your bed? they'll die. In a carrier - death it is. They literally expect you to wake your sleeping baby from the stroller, carseat, swing, etc and move them to the crib because that is the only safe place. But they also aren't supposed to cry at all in the crib. I dunno how a mom does it.
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Younger DD has really bad vision. She is 20/1200 with an astigmatism in one eye. She used to be fine with contacts but this is the second year where she cannot get a prescription that works. Her vision is always a little blurry. Last year she thought the new eye doctor was the problem but this year she went back to her old one and none of the samples they gave her to try truly work. The doctor said she cannot take her up or she risks double vision and other problems.
She is a paralegal so she does a lot of computer work and this has been hard with headaches and blurry vision.
Is lasik ever covered by insurance in these cases?
Who here has had it done and do you think it may be the answer for DD?
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1 hour ago, Terabith said:
Sleep training did not work at all for my youngest. She got so upset she stayed awake for 72 hours straight at six months old, and she screamed the ENTIRE time. Even after we had long given up and were holding her. The very act of trying was disastrous.
This is her fear. They are asleep and once put down they wake up and won't sleep and get overtired and the vicious cycle begins. It doesn't feel worth it to try it.
2 hours ago, bolt. said:Why do weekends work? Is it because the other parent is there for the weekends and does 'your job'? Or does it actually work for her to get through those times on her own? If so, why does it work? And what helps it work?
Similarly why/how is it going with moving your morning arrival to 8:30?
Weekends work because DSIL is here but since he isn't as much help I'm sure she is also doing a little more on her own. But he can pouch a baby and she can pouch the other and she can get a break from sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery with two sleeping girls on her.
So far the later arrival is going ok.
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36 minutes ago, Katy said:
To be clear I wouldn’t lie and sleep train behind her back. Her babies, her choice. But we’ve had 2-3 babies at a time at times over the years and I couldn’t have done it without sleep training. And frankly if they were in daycare there would be times they’d be put down in a crib for a nap. I think it’s wrong to guilt trip moms into thinking they must hold babies who want to be held 24/7. It’s too much pressure.
I think it is almost impossible with two babies like this unless you have someone committed to help you around the clock, which is me and DSIL taking turns but I cannot keep up this routine forever. So sleep training will need to happen eventually. Maybe not now but eventually.
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To be clear and correct misunderstandings ... neither DD nor I were thinking of any sort of sleep training before 3-4 months old and then it would be gentle. No CIO method, I'm not a fan and neither is DD.
And I would NEVER, EVER sleep train her babies behind her back. When I referred to getting her out of the house it was in reply to @Katy and I think we both thought that would be if she wanted me to try it but she knew she couldn't hear crying. But it would have to be her wishes.
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Just now, Katy said:
That’s why I suggested YOU do it🤣
Is there a resource you suggest for this? I don't remember having this issue with mine but I also wasn't afraid to let them cry some. I don't think I'd get her to leave the house but maybe I can get her to let me try.
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2 minutes ago, Katy said:
I can’t remember how premature they were… would they be past 6 weeks if they’d been full term? I’d encourage her to start sleep training them if so. I realize it’s controversial but it won’t hurt them to learn to sleep in a crib, maybe together. I might send her out of the house to Target to get them down.
They were 36 weeks so I think they would just now be 6 weeks? Is that how it works?
We really need to sleep train. She wants to wait until 3 months for that but I think she's too soft to try it honestly.
ETA: there is a part of me that thinks me scaling back would force her to find better solutions. If that makes sense?
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2 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:
Ugh I understand the younger kids getting the short end of the stick. I feel so much guilt about it.
Is your ds in public school? What are his plans for summer?
Your dd's dh is home on the weekends correct?
I think I would start with the weekends and not come over during that time first. If both parents are there it would be the time of less need.
Pretty much all my kids except one were like the twins. Obviously it gets better, but for mine it wasn't a quick process. I feel at least in my experience of 5 kids, that some just have to be held and close.
DS is homeschooled. We've just been leaving his school books here Monday through Friday and he works here so we do have that at least.
I try not to come over on the weekends unless I have to. This last weekend DSIL had a business trip so I was here. But I really really try not to come on weekends.
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Please don't quote my crazy ramble.
First of all, I love time with DD and the girls and don't regret the long hours and days here. Even in scaling back I'm sure I will still be here a lot.
But I need to scale back soon .... but how??
Y'all know we've had a lot of hurdles and we are in such a better pace now but they are 10 weeks old today and not good sleepers. They never fall asleep anywhere but in arms or one of those soft close to the body carriers. They do not fall asleep in the stroller, the swing, carseats, etc. Only close to a person. DD will sometimes just keep them asleep on the twin nursing pillow between nursing sessions so I can make dinner or whatever but often I have one baby in a soft carrier on me, while she has another on her. We have had no luck whatsoever transitioning them to beds, they scream the minute they are put down if they are tired. They are just now having more awake time and can sometimes be awake in the crib looking at a board book or babbling so that is a relief but doesn't last long.
Also, DD just needs me so much. I'm the best at knowing what she needs and anticipating her needs and she doesn't like to ask for things. I try to have time at home on Saturdays and Sundays but come Monday she and babies are both a little stressed out. We function well Monday through Friday. This is getting better now than it was a few weeks ago. Each week is a little better, thankfully.
As much as I want time at home some days and miss my garden, etc it really isn't about me. Ds13 has handled this all so graciously but I can tell he needs more time away from here. I'm carrying a lot of guilt over the last few years (and to some extent his whole life) being so focused on the older 3. Anyone with a trailing kid will understand what I mean. His younger years were often spent worked around their activities and plans. It has been one thing after another too. I remember thinking it'll be better after.... but it has been one consecutive thing after another. For a chunk there I was focused on getting the older ones through high school and into college (or a career). As soon as #3 was graduated and settled into her own, it was wedding planning for #1 then all of that energy moved to #3 who got married 9 months later. #2 had a lot of health issues that I was trying to navigate too. And DS13 has just so graciously been waiting for things to settle. We really, really thought we were going to get more time with him when #3 was married and we had a great summer focused on him and then by Aug or Sept DD was pregnant and couldn't keep anything down and she needed a lot of me her entire pregnancy. I was feeding her and taking care of her Monday through Friday. And now we are at her house Monday through Friday. Thankfully we took a few days last fall and took him to Savannah, just him. He is so sweet about it all, he really is a great kid. We are very close and I love him to pieces and every hurdle is something that I hope will end soon so I can have more time with him, but it is literally always something else. The other person is DH. He works a lot and he is having to pick up a lot of slack at our house, again, no complaint at all. He is great.
We are going to the beach later this month, all 11 of us. When we get back they will be 3 months old. I want to scale back my time here but I feel guilty even thinking about it.
How? And what should it look like? Should I just come for partial days or certain days a week? or is it just too soon to even consider that an option?
ETA: I was coming here from 6:30 AM to 6:30 PM and this week I haven't been coming at 6:30. I've been showing up more like 8-8:30? I've tried to tackle a few small projects like stake a few tomatoes or harvest some veggies, etc and then head over.
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Have you checked out a Honda Pilot? We are on our second one and love them. They can tow well and ours have both had AWD. I test drove a 4runner and didn't care for it although I think they look nice. Also with the third row being able to fully collapse, you can fit a ton in it without needing a truck.
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This thought has never occurred to me either. I’ve never lost a key so I have no idea what the procedure is.
AirBnb has had so much bad stuff connected to them though. And they work really really hard to cover it up. Google Airbnb murders or Airbnb cover ups.It was just a mistake but the last time my parents stayed with them another couple came in with the door code when my parents were there and had booked the same days. It was really awkward to say the least. Airbnb refunded them their entire trip and some extra. I don’t know what the other couple did? Found a hotel room, I guess?
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1 hour ago, Tenaj said:
You are making me want a peacock 🙂. My uncle had some on his farm when I was a kid. We would get the long feathers that fell out and balance them on our palms or noses.
I almost want to find a peahen for sale but I think that’s when they can get weird and territorial? When they are protecting a peahen and clutch. Plus I read somewhere that he won’t be happy unless he has several peahens to mate with? I don’t know if that’s true.
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23 minutes ago, MEmama said:
Well he is very beautiful.
None of your chickens are tempted to try something new?🤣🤣
They haven't been out of the coop/run with him at all. Our rooster is mean and I'm a tad afraid they would fight? I need to do some reading up on this. We occasionally let them free range but only when we're out there, we have a lot of hawks and other predators.
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Wouldn't the transmission have a warranty? Have your DH or DS check into that. If it was replaced by a reputable dealer, it should have a warranty for longer than 3 years.
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Me …. over here suddenly feeling the urge to buy a big ol’ bowl and a border collie puppy 🤣🤣
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1 minute ago, SKL said:
This reminds me, when the gas prices went way up not long ago, I made a comment like "who's laughing at my hybrid now?" I think there are some people who haven't spoken to me since. 😛
It's time for me to think about buying a new car, and I'm wondering if it should be a Tesla. My thought process: fuel economy and safety; small to medium size; I think there will be enough charging stations; prices are coming down ... I also think Elon Musk is kinda cool ... but will people think I'm making a statement? Will some people think I've lost my mind? Do I care? Of course I don't care ....
Please buy a Tesla and lmk if you like it. Be my Guinea pig 😂
Would you stay here?
in The Chat Board
Posted
No but I have a wishlist on Airbnb and this one is on it
https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/713793474951553871?check_in=2023-06-30&check_out=2023-07-05&guests=1&adults=3&viralityEntryPoint=1&s=76&unique_share_id=3745312f-00a5-440d-8466-fc8add3b3560&source_impression_id=p3_1683484511_G4p5jVL9sZ9Zdh%2Bz