I am working with a therapist. I think my panic attacks are just raw grief. I've got layers upon layers that I am uncovering. Probably about 30 years worth. I've ignored myself way too long. In the meantime, I just need to sleep. My husband is getting too concerned about me that it's affecting his attention also - thinking he has to take off of work all the time.

Beyond that also...I will stay awake with a worship song going on repeat over and over again - to the point of annoyance. Add panic attacks that only show up when I'm trying to sleep and it's a problem. Add to all of that, when I do fall asleep, I wake up off and on all night long. Usually, I'm so tired I can't focus on any one thing of prayer anyway. I've been dealing with this for 12 years. I need an end.

I have tried everything. I have excellent sleep hygiene and have tried every natural supplement out there. I can't exercise right now due to recovering from a broken foot but I was excercising 3-4 days a week and not sleeping at that time and my sleepiness caused my foot break. I'm onto the drug route.

I have been taking Trazedone for about a month to help me sleep. It worked OK for about two weeks (worked well for 3-4 nights) before it stopped working. I slept for the 3-4 nights pretty well and then I started having panic attacks at night and more depression so I lowered the dose which has resolved the panic attacks but has not helped with sleep at all. This is the third medication that has worked well for a few days/ week and then doesn't anymore. It seems like my body develops tolerances VERY quickly. I have tried Clonazepan, Ambien, and now Trazedone. Honestly, the only thing that has helped me with sleep is a Benadryl type sleep medication that I can get over the counter from Costco. But, those have been studied to develop dementia later in life. I do have depression also. Can anyone help? I am SOOOO tired. Btw, I am going to see the doctor today. I just want to know if anyone else has had this happen. I'm a redhead. I think that affects drug interaction.

I had a friend who homeschooled and was asked what she did at a company party for her dh. She told them that she had this cool job where she taught these three kids full time. She did it as a volunteer experience. The person she was talking to was impressed until she admitted that she was a homeschool mom. Then the conversation turned quickly.

The bigger question is from this discussion is, "How much is social loneliness contributing to people being overextended and stressed?" I see that as a huge factor in my life. I was isolated as a special needs mom (getting my son out of the house is a big production) and then isolated myself further by homeschooling which essentially is a work at home position. The amount of hours expected for a full time job seems to have jumped from when my dh started working. He was at a strict 40 hour week before. Now, he's easily around 50. I know many people who work longer hours than that. Those work hours don't really leave a lot of time for making true connections with others. I am working intentionally to try and make friendships and be honest with people that seem trustworthy.

Maybe "me" time isn't really what it's about. As moms, we give and give. That's the deal. I enjoyed homeschooling and it became a hobby of sorts for about 10 years. I think the problem comes in when we don't listen to ourselves. I guess that's what I'm finding. The moms I mentioned in the original post were not listening to themselves and what was going on in their head. I used busyness and homeschooling (because that's busy) to ignore the depression that was going on in my head along with some emotional wounds that I was not dealing with. The healthy homeschooling moms I see usually have extended family nearby or an outside activity that they love. The ones I see struggling are not listening to the voice inside their head that is telling them they are struggling and they need to change something but don't. I guess when I feel like I need to yell at a husband to pay attention to his wife's unspoken pleads, there is something not right... Btw, my husband did listen to my unspoken needs. This is a big reason we're not homeschooling. In fact, it's gotten to a point that he doesn't want me to do it at all anymore.

I think for me, it was just not having support for my life in general. I have a difficult family (dd with ADHD, DS with mild autism, DS with significant disabilities). I had no one supporting me other than my husband who works full time plus. My life was already isolating and homeschooling only made that part of it worse. I think with others I've seen, they realize they are not homeschooling well and want better for their children. Either their husbands are against putting the kids in school, or they have fear about the public school ruining their children.

I have noticed this trend lately, and I'm not sure if it's because I'm seeing it more or because I'm dealing with similar issues. All my children are in a school of some sort. I am no longer homeschooling. I completely burned out. I ignored myself and am now in therapy for issues that I have not dealt with for over 10 years. When my 8th grader was feeling stressed at school and wanted to quit, I became a sobbing mess. I knew knew knew that I could not homeschool again. Thankfully, ds has turned a corner and is doing great, but it showed the extent of my burn out. I talked to a friend last night whose husband wants her to pull the kids from school (they were there a semester) and homeschool again. She doesn't want to but is seeing her 8th grader with a lot of stress due to school. She wants something for herself. She wants to work part time at something she likes to do. She was crying at having to homeschool again. I also saw it in another woman who homeschooled successfully 8 of her 12 children and still has around 7 years to go until her youngest graduates. She was burnt out. She does not know her value apart from her children. Both of these women, like me, are shells of who they really were created to be. I guess I'm seeing a lot of moms who have homeschooled 10 years or more that haven't thought of themselves and their needs in a long long time. I am finding that the only ones who seem to be continuing well are the ones who have outside ministries or outside jobs part time. I'm seeing a lot of burn-out. And when I find a former homeschooler? They usually quit because they were tired and burned out--usually after the oldest was around high school. Instead of sending just the high schooler to school, the whole family went to school. Is anyone else seeing this? I feel like I could have a ministry just to homeschool moms about self care and knowing their value apart from their children.

I think it's being cheap not frugal. I would tell the woman in question to skip buying coffee out a couple of times if she wants to be a tightwad and just buy a small bag of sugar. It's like taking a bunch of napkins from a restaurant you go to so that you don't have to buy some for home. I don't think it's an ethical problem, just being cheap.

And I would think the parents also wouldn’t want their biologically female child to have to undress in the male locker room at all. Regardless of what she says she is, she still has a female body that would be open to gawking by most of the teen boy population.

I had a flight too where the seats were so close I couldn’t move my legs or stretch well. It was miserable. I am taking almost 80 mg per day via tablet. Your daughter should get her ferritin levels checked. Anything below 75 in people with RLS is too low. People whose doctors know about the RLS and iron connection will give iron transfusions at lower but “normal” levels because it does help with RLS. I was taking about 40 mg per day and had a ferritin level of 33 so that’s why I doubled it. She should also get it checked periodically. Iron is one of those things you don’t want to have in excess. I though RLS was a magnesium thing too and really upped my magnesium both orally and through a spray. It helped a little but the increase in iron supplements has made it stop.

Also, I forgot the "how to take the iron" PSA. Take iron on an empty stomach with at least 200 mg of vitamin C. Don't eat anything for at least 1 1/2 hours. This did make a difference for me. Iron bisglycinate doesn't make me nauseous so I've been taking that.

I was getting it in my arms also which made it unbearable. There are only so many places that you can put a heat pad on at the same time.

I am sleeping better, but am also taking Trazadone. I'm still trying to figure out the right dosage on that one, but am doing better. Just not having jumpy leg that started around 7pm is really nice. The RLS was getting to a point where all of my fixes to help the problem were no longer working. This simple fix is like when I found out gluten was causing my glute muscles to spasm and cause a lot of pain. That fix took me 15 years to figure out. I wish there were more doctors that understood how food and vitamin levels relate to body issues. ETA: I increased my Iron before I started taking Trazadone and the RLS went away at that time so I do know it was iron that was the solution. When I still couldn't sleep, I added the Trazadone.

It took me years to figure this out so I am offering my own PSA. Did you know that even if your ferritin levels are normal, you may still need more iron. John Hopkins, which has a RLS clinic suggests that ferritin blood levels need to be around 75-100. The last time mine were tested, they were at a 33 which is in normal ranges and not considered anemic. I've since doubled my iron intake and now am not dealing on a regular basis with RLS. I am so glad I was able to avoid the drugs that treated this syndrome. They had nasty side effects. Here's the John Hopkins article. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/neurology_neurosurgery/centers_clinics/restless-legs-syndrome/what-is-rls/causes.html

Also, I was messaging someone on this board about some random topic. We realized that both of our sons were attending the same community college in our city. Then, we put it together that they were in the same class. It happened to be the only friend Ds mentioned that he had gotten to know.

One of the first people we met in our new state had a very similar history to my DH and I. We told her we came from a small town in Minnesota. A small church where we knew almost everyone that went there was looking for a new pastor. This new couple we met had interviewed for the pastor position. The wife also worked at a small college in Illinois a couple of miles from my house when I was a teenager and went to the same church as my husband when he was a teenager. This is the only person I know who has reference to obscure places from my life history.

I take iron in an empty stomach with vitamin c. I don’t eat afterward for about two hours.

I need to triple my ferritin levels in my blood. What is the best way to do this (non-intravenous). Dissected liver pills? Floradix?

I’m getting some relief. I did get a prescription for Trazadone. It’s been 4 days and I’m giving it a month to see if it works. So far, it’s a maybe. what I did find out is that according to John Hopkins medical center that has a clinic for restless legs is that people who have RLS need to have ferritin levels of 75-100. Most of these people will get an IV of iron. My natural path said since I’m not anemic, she would have a hard time getting that approved. At 2 times the recommended vitamin dosage, I got up to a 33. I am now taking 4 times the regular dosage. Iron also needs to be taken with vitamin C on an empty stomach that stays empty for two hours. The big deal? My RLS is not noticeable. This.is.huge!

The college he is thinking of going to at this point is around $11K-$12K per year. The stats aren't great on graduation rates - 45%, but ds will have an associates by the time he graduates high school with guaranteed transfer. I was just hoping he had options other than the university nearby. He did get offered a $10K scholarship with $2500 per year. I still have to figure out that stuff. He's also not too motivated and I don't want to be "mommy do everything for me" when legally and just for him growing up, he needs to take care of things on his own.

Basically, ds is not eligible for a Pell Grant and we, as parents are expected to contribute over $12K per year for college. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! We are so behind on our retirement savings and we need to think about ourselves and our disabled son first. We were never able to contribute much to retirement or college funds (nothing actually) due to having a pitiful income for so many years. We're finally at a decent income and living well below our means so we can try to catch up. Ds will for sure be living at home and working some decent hours if he wants to attend college. So many people talk about the college bubble expense bursting, but I don't see it happening anytime soon. I remember a friend at church whose son was going to a Christian college. They had been told their contribution for his education there was $3k per month. She worked at a small boutique making slightly above minimum wage. I'm not sure what her husband did. They lived in a small house that wasn't updated because they couldn't afford it and drove later model cars. I couldn't believe it at the time. Now, I believe it. All of this is discouraging.

I second the knee scooter. I rolled my foot 8 weeks ago and just broke a bone in my foot. I'm walking slowly with regular good supportive athletic shoes now. I couldn't put weight on it for 3 weeks and the knee scooter was awesome. They specifically say not to treat it like a kid scooter and keep one foot on the ground - basically not cruise on the thing nor have any fun. But really- it's a knee SCOOTER. Who can resist?

He did general ed for his AA degree. An emphasis in communication classes.