Acadie
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Posts posted by Acadie
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44 minutes ago, kbutton said:
Do we know if risk from Covid vaccine is significantly different from other vaccines? I have gotten the impression that some of the serious reactions (Guillain‑Barre Syndrome, etc.) people have are things that they might've come down with from their next illness if it hadn't been a vaccine that particular time--as in, the vaccine can provoke it in people already susceptible to adverse outcomes from illness because the person is kind of a ticking time bomb for those kinds of reactions to illness or vaccine.
My husband said most people really have no idea how risky many common illnesses, especially viruses, are, and that we don't realize the burden of chronic illness that has always existed from repeated infection from "normal" illness.
It seems like SciMoms had some kind of information about pathogens vs. beneficial microbes that also hammered home that no illness is ever beneficial and that risk of an adverse event from "the next" illness of any kind increases with repeated infections from any pathogen.
I don't know if risk from Covid vaccines is different than other vaccines--that's a great question. There's more data on Covid vaccines than anything else, I imagine.
With family history of environmental illness and ME/CFS, I wouldn't say that people who have reactions to vaccines or anything else are ticking time bombs, necessarily. Instead, I think environmental exposures and everyday health practices are more impactful in people with genetic predispositions, and there's a narrower range of circumstances that support their health.
So it may not be that the person is fated to a certain condition, but that the threshold of environmental and other factors that can trigger it is much lower for them. I have no doubt there's a canary-in-the-coal-mine phenomenon, too, where if we paid more attention to studying chronic illness we'd learn a lot about human health in general.
Totally agree with your husband that most people underestimate the long term impact of many infectious diseases. I've been fascinated by recent research on past infections as contributing factors to Parkinson's and Alzheimer's.
Also read recently the health and longevity of older people in Japan may be partly because masking during cold season reduces lifetime exposure to respiratory infections that contribute to what we call the diseases of aging. Blew my mind!
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10 hours ago, TCB said:
Does anyone know if they have presented any verifiable evidence to support this? I know they are talking about the VAERS site, but do they have verifiable data.
I have tried to keep up with as much of the anti vaccine stuff that I can, and I have not seen much of anything that includes verifiable data. Almost everything I’ve seen is opinion based. I have seen various accounts of blood clots etc, but have seen follow ups that photographs used were reused pre Covid photos, or possibly even plant roots??
How do they deal with the data showing reduced Covid deaths, and even reduced all cause mortality in those who have been vaccinated- other than saying they don’t believe it and it’s a government conspiracy? How do they deal with the Uk ONS data released a few days ago?
I ask this because I live in the US and I would like to believe that something so consequential to peoples lives must be decided on some sort of hard facts. If you know of any, please let me know because it all feels very bleak to me.
To me the lack of transparency on Covid risks really opened the door to conspiracy theories.
When public health messaging leads people to believe Covid is a cold or flu, but they start to see more deaths, heart issues and organ damage in real life, what could explain it? Even as anti-vaccine propaganda fills the gap, public health is still failing to alert the public to the Covid complications we are seeing in real time now.
That said, there are people who have cardiac issues, organ damage and Long-Covid-type sequelae from the vaccines--but it's a way smaller percentage than people who have complications from Covid.
I think the fact that public health downplayed the existence of vaccine injury for decades was a precursor to downplaying Covid risks. Too much focus on calming public opinion, and not enough on preventing disease--including raising the alert on health risks when appropriate.
What if, instead of denying that vaccine injury exists, we had done serious research on which populations are more likely to develop vaccine injury? What if, after identifying health or genetic conditions in more vulnerable populations, we researched how to reduce risk for those populations, not just those with egg allergy?
Sharing more accurate information on the risk/benefit ratio of vaccines could have built public trust in this essential public health tool. I really wish, like you, that actual evidence mattered more in health policy and in people's assessment of relative risks of disease and vaccination.
PS--I'm afraid my post might prompt a response that vaccines are 100% safe, and it's anti-science to say otherwise. I mean, if an Advil can have negative side effects, so can a vaccine. But we've failed spectacularly to communicate to the public that Covid is MUCH more dangerous to the the vast majority of people than the vaccines.
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Oh my goodness, what pretty little babies! They are absolutely precious 💜
Congrats to all, especially your badass dd. She must've learned that somewhere, right?! 🙂
Sending prayers and all good energy that everyone is thriving and ready to come home soon.
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Twice your sister has shut down or indicated she can't deal with hearing about challenges in your marriage. At this point I'd honor that by not volunteering more. But I also wouldn't lie if she asks, or if something comes up that makes non-disclosure super awkward or potentially deceptive. In that case, I'd keep it short and sweet.
I just don't think it's deceptive to honor the clear indications she's given that hearing this stuff is too much for her right now. Has she ever asked for more info, or said she felt deceived by not hearing more?
An emotionally safe family isn't one without conflict or difficulty, so I kind of hope you can let go of feeing responsible for that. What matters is if people are seen and heard, and if family members make an effort to show respect for each other while handling disagreement or difficulty. And when that fails, as it invariably will, whether people make a sincere effort to try to repair the relationship by owning their own mistakes or misjudgments, acknowledging the impact on others, and apologizing without caveat or qualification.
If your sister gives you a different message later, and says she actually does want to hear more or feels deceived, you can always say you weren't sure what was best, but that you tried to hear and honor the discomfort she voiced before. And you're really sorry that the choice you made ended up not feeling right to her, and having a negative impact after all.
Based on what you said here, that just doesn't seem like the signal she's giving now.
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1 hour ago, gardenmom5 said:
My ND gave me a bunch of other stuff to take to strengthen my immune system.
Would love to hear what your ND recommended if you're up for sharing.
If not, no need to reply and I'm sending all good wishes to you and yours 💜
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3 hours ago, Amy in NH said:
I'd hesitate to assign gender to this phenomenon. My Dad made this discovery in his 40s as well, and spent the next 25 years becoming educated in outdoor skills and leading small-group trips through the Sierra Nevadas. I've long held his action as an inspiration for how to be healthy in your body into old-age, but only now am I coming to more fully understand the mental health aspect of it as well. Even if I'm not hiking the 4,000 footers (due to fear of heights!), I've come to recognize that I need daily exertion to feel well.
Good point, and it's inspiring to hear of your dad's outdoor adventures in midlife and beyond!
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45 minutes ago, SHP said:
I am absolutely livid with the positive person. I know they haven't been as diligent as I have and the fact that they were coughing up a storm for a couple of days in the common area and I had to demand they test... My blood pressure is spiking due to my anger. This trip meant a lot to me and there is no option to do it later given the circumstances of the trip. I am not so selfish as to go and risk infecting others so going is out.
I'm so sorry. I understand and have felt really angry myself when we've had to miss travel and other significant events after people in my life either dismiss the importance or outright refuse to be more careful beforehand.
I mean, we know by now how this works....
And I long for an ethic of greater caring.
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7 hours ago, SHP said:
A household member tested positive and has been coughing and hacking all over the common areas if the house and only tested because we were planning to go out of town this week. We have canceled all plans.
Does anyone know what the current findings related to iron and severe disease is? I have iron deficiency anemia. My iron binding TIBC is high and my % saturation is low. My understanding is that this is better than high iron for disease severity, but I haven't seen anything recent. I am also, as you can imagine, exhausted, and likely am not not as thorough on my research.
I hope you and other family members stay healthy and can find ways to catch up on rest with everything canceled.
I don't know about disease severity and the iron values you mention, but just wanted to share that my dd's ferritin tanked after Covid, and I've heard from many others that ferritin can spike during the acute phase then plummet after.
Have also seen a bit of research on lactoferrin supplements suppressing SARS2, and also being a source of iron microbes can't feed off. We keep lactoferrin in the house in case one of us tests positive again.
Not sure if any of that is relevant to your situation, just wishing you the best and that's all I've got!
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@regentrudeI think you nailed it, coming to a place with my life and health where I need to shift thinking of outdoor time as a reward for getting work done vs. an essential part of my health and my day, and dedicating daylight hours during the week. For me, that means more than just a 30-60 minute walk in my neighborhood. Something longer, someplace wilder.
Actually felt my heart lift, reading how you've prioritized this and worked other things in your life around it. Thank you 🙏
I'm intrigued with the possibility this could be a phase in women's lifespan development--for some women, at least--where we're just called outside, after decades of responding to other urgencies and imperatives.
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On 2/11/2023 at 6:15 PM, regentrude said:
ETA: The lifestyle changes that helped me alleviate my depression (which I had concluded to likely have situational causes and no sudden chemical imbalance in my brain) was to get vast amounts of physical exertion outside + sunshine. I had to restructure my days to prioritize this, and it made a big difference.
I think this would help me. Can you share exactly how you restructured your days to do this?
Do you schedule outdoor time and stick with it no matter the weather, or rearrange your day when the sun is shining? (Winter sun is somewhat rare in my climate.) Any trial-and-error to find what worked for you?
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On 2/17/2023 at 10:52 PM, mommyoffive said:On 2/18/2023 at 6:57 AM, TexasProud said:
That matches my real life experience. On our mission trip last summer, despite all of the very strong mask protocols we instituted and the fact that all were vaccinated and many boosted, 12 out of the 22 got Covid. The ones that didn't had a Covid infection from Jan - July, even when in very, very close proximity/rooming without a mask with people that had it. If you had the infection withing the last 8 months, you didn't come down with it. Everyone else did.
I think this varies a lot by the individual, and also by how close the variant you had is to the variant you later encounter.
MIL got COVID late April and again early July, about 2 1/2 months apart. Over the summer a friend tested positive 1 month after prior infection, and another 2 months after. Some public official tested positive 3 weeks after--maybe Secretary Xavier Becerra or Justin Trudeau?
Really wish we could know for sure how long immunity from prior infection or vaccines lasts, but there are so many variables with individual humans and viral strains!
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After all Pfizer, I went with Moderna for my bivalent because of the higher dose, and because diversifying what the immune system is responding to seems to provide better protection.
This summer or fall I hope to get the updated Novovax. Would love to start a new series of Novovax, actually, but we'll see. In the US atm you can't get a Novovax booster if you've ever had an mRNA booster. I might try going to Canada if that remains true.
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2 minutes ago, Soror said:
Even if it is just 6 weeks I can't imagine she'll be jumping back to normal afterward- you'll then be expected to do all her care at home too- because we expect SAHMs to do that. We expect women to be caretakers. Men can be caretakers too. You have a job that is important too.
Hearing more about the prognosis for this type of cancer, it does seem possible treatment could be followed by home care or hospice. If you acquiesce to this the family may assume you're sole caregiver for the foreseeable future--potentially for months.
It's crucial to set boundaries now to protect yourself and your children. It's ultimately a kindness to the rest of the family as well. Denial and pretending it's business as usual isn't going to help your MIL or anyone else be present with and process all that's happening.
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On 2/15/2023 at 1:21 PM, annandatje said:
Humor has been helpful to lift my mood. A good comedy film or book and writing funny life anecdotes brings a smile to my face and puts my woes in perspective.
Sometimes when I'm really blue I look at DYAC-type sites or cake fails, and start laughing so hard I cry. Or recently I watched on repeat that early-pandemic court Zoom with the cat filter. Love the guy who picks up his glasses to get a better look at the cat.
It doesn't change reality, but there's nothing like laughing until the tears stream down my face to shift my physiology. Well, there are a few things but this works with minors in the house 🙂
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Considering a one-day roundtrip flight to NYC, tomorrow or Sunday. Regular flight searches are driving me bananas, and I'm wondering about just packing a bag, going to bed early and checking flight options in the wee hours for tomorrow. If that fails, I could just book for Sunday or try for same day tickets again.
Trustworthy sites, or ways to figure out if there's likely to be same-day availability?
Or burst my bubble and tell me there's no simple or cheap way to do this! 🙂
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On 2/14/2023 at 11:03 AM, MEmama said:
Exactly. And evacuating people within a one mile radius for the blast just seemed utterly
dismissivenegligent. I can't believe anyone was or is or ever will be safe for miles and miles. And aren't their homes, cars, lawns just covered in toxins now? And they are supposed to live there and let their kids play outside in the chemical ash and their dogs track it inside and...my heart is completely broken for everyone who is going to suffer the consequences. 😞Agreed. I don't know how these chemicals degrade or persist in the environment, but they're incredibly toxic and I have wondered about local agriculture as well.
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Just now, Arcadia said:
Since your MIL is waiting on the MRI, now is the time to work out a plan with your husband. When your husband and his siblings work out the radiation treatment arrangements, he has to have whatever you two can agree on in mind. For example, if getting an airBnB/hotel near the treatment center, how much can each sibling contribute? If none of the siblings in suburbs stay near the treatment center, can paid help be hired to accompany (and again the cost sharing issue). Or pay for help for the family farm and your FIL and your husband take turns to do the driving.
My husband’s late grandmother stayed with her single daughter. However, her daughter has to run their family business. So FIL and his siblings (all sisters, he is the only son) comes up with a few budgets for a live in help. One of my husband’s uncle-in-law is relatively wealthy and willing to chip in more money. So the rest split up the difference.This is a great idea to explore what each family member can contribute, whether that's transport, time, and/or funds. Funds can be used wherever more coverage or convenience is needed--lodging, a driver or caregiver.
There's absolutely no way this is a one-person job. Everyone will need to stretch. It's pure fantasy that everyone else can live their lives undisturbed and make zero contribution through 6 weeks of MIL's treatment. I wonder if the doctor's office or a social worker could help the family understand what kind of care and support will be needed, so the fantasy gives way to reality sooner, rather than later.
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The family priority should be what best supports MIL, and driving 4 hours every treatment day is definitely not it. It also seems literally impossible for one person to meet all her needs for the whole six weeks, so multiple family members need to step up.
I agree with Bootsie below that checking in with yourself is the first step. What seems doable for you? Could you drive her on Mondays to start treatment, and/or pick her up at the end of the week to come home? Possibly stay over one night to get her settled, then a local sibling takes over?
Can she alternate weeks at the homes of different sibs, or spend the first half of treatment with one and the second with the other?
47 minutes ago, Bootsie said:If I were in your situation I would decide what I was willing to do and then specifically volunteer that. Something like "Oh I can help out. I can volunteer to take Mondays for the six weeks; the kids' school schedule conflicts with my helping out other days." Or, "I can take every day of the second week as the kids are on school break that week."--whatever works for your schedule and you are willing to do. That way you take charge of what you are willing to do and aren't waiting to rather than guessing what other people will assume you are willing to do.
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I’m so sorry.
Agreeing your son needs medical care asap and not to talk to the driver at fault or their insurance co, whose whole purpose is to prevent your family from receiving the appropriate compensation. Get a good lawyer now, who will communicate with the insurance adjustor and have helpful advice on appropriate care. Delaying medical care, for example, could be used against you, to suggest it must not have been that bad or due to the accident. Don’t attempt to advocate for yourself—you absolutely need a good lawyer. I also agree your son shouldn’t minimize his pain scales or symptoms.
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1 hour ago, stephanier.1765 said:
They are 2 and 4. Right now I'm on the "ignore" list because they had asked me to go on a cruise with them, her parents and extended family so I could babysit the kids while they (son, wife, and her family) went off to do their own thing. Well one, I do not enjoy her family. Two, I've never been on a cruise so navigating one on my own would be stressful but navigating it with two small children in tow seems especially so. Three, I'd like my first cruise experience to be one I could actually experience and not be the third wheel. And four, my fibromyalgia has gone through the roof. It could be better by the time comes around for the cruise but it very well could not be and that's scary for me. So I told her I couldn't do it and I haven't heard a peep back since. I told her as nicely as I could and as soon as I could so she could make different plans if she needs to but it's been silent air.
I'm sorry, that sucks. The whole thing sounds really painful, from the request to the silent treatment.
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MIL expressed her desire to be in the delivery room with our first. After I said I wanted just dh and my sis for the birth, MIL scheduled a silent retreat so she and FIL were literally unreachable FOR DAYS after dd was born! One of the early signals of narcissism that I couldn't name at the time, but simply baffled me.
Twin delivery and postpartum are a bit less predictable than singleton. With my dd I'd focus on the real need to see how she feels and how the babies are doing after delivery, and additional challenges with nursing or bottle-feeding twins. Perhaps her doctor may have helpful input or guidance on early postpartum visitors with twins, especially if overnight guests seem potentially overwhelming. Sometimes it's easier to communicate boundaries as medical advice.
That said, please go be with your dd whenever she wants you there. She's asking for your support, and I'm assuming that means emotional, physical, caregiving support and perhaps to help sort out requests, gifts or visits from others. Your job is to hear and support your daughter, not to absent yourself in the interest of equal time or tiptoe around the ILs.
Could SIL encourage an early day trip or two by ILs to meet and spend time loving their new grandbabies, to involve them early on? And leave the question of overnight visits until the young family has a better sense how everyone is doing health-wise?
When I see new parents and families now I think it's such a vulnerable transition, and I feel a powerful impulse to honor whatever they wish for or decline in terms of support, visits, gifts, etc. My sense of protectiveness toward new families probably comes partly from the negative impact MIL's drama and demands have had on my marriage and family.
It may seem difficult, but it's infinitely better and ultimately easier to set direct and loving boundaries from the outset. I agree with others that DD and SIL need to figure out what will work for them, with priority given to the birthing mom's wishes, and that SIL should be the one to communicate with his family.
You support your girl, including helping her discern what she is comfortable with around the birth and postpartum in terms of visitors.
It's the young couple's turn now.
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Hope you both feel better, @ShepCarlin and @stephanier.1765!
Totally agree with previous posters about seeing a doctor.
A couple additional home care thoughts, use mouthwash with Cetylpyridinium Chloride (CPC) 2-3x day. Read the label to find a product with that active ingredient, which has some efficacy against both SARS2 and strep.
Try self-massage for lymphatic drainage in the head and neck, to help move waste fluid out, reduce inflammation and allow better circulation for healing tissues. After watching a few times I figured out an easy 5-10 minute sequence, depending how much time I have.
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41 minutes ago, TexasProud said:
Doesn't really matter because they have the inheritance money whether they just have it in cash or in the house when they pay off the mortgage.
25 minutes ago, Carol in Cal. said:The FAFSA counts any income and any savings ‘against’ you, and equity in your primary residence or money in retirement accounts or life insurance are ignored. Now, some private colleges go beyond that, but it’s worth considering that that equity is basically invisible money to public colleges.
It's crucial to sort out college aid implications, since it would suck to make a big move and have the inheritance all siphoned off in bigger tuition bills. I believe Carol is right about the FAFSA, but if you have anyone attending a CSS Profile school there could be other factors to consider.
Honestly since this has potentially huge financial implications I'd get expert advice so you fully understand the ramifications of each option, which in turn could help clarify your decision. I've recommended Paula Bishop, CPA, here before--she specializes in working with families on college financial aid. She does consultations for a very reasonable hourly fee, and literally everyone I've referred to her has said her advice was super helpful and well worth the cost. I have no connection or financial interest in recommending her, but I often do because I think many families need individualized help understanding the implications of financial decisions and paying for college.
If you email Paula the basic situation she could tell you exactly what figures you need to gather. Being prepared with your financial info and questions reduces the time and cost for her expertise. She's also answered a couple of our brief follow up questions free over email.
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49 minutes ago, MercyA said:
No, we don't have to have symptoms to receive 8 free tests per person per month (we do enter our insurance info). I am just ordering them online now and the CVS website says insurance coverage will end May 11.
I don't have new symptoms yet, so I am really hoping I can be done isolating in five days and then mask up. Not planning on seeing my parents, MIL, or grandma anytime soon, although thankfully everyone except my grandma is fully vaxxed. If I do get new symptoms, I'll reset the isolation clock.
DH is negative so far, yay. 🙂 DD will test today.
This is a great reason to stock up every month through May, in case rapid tests are no longer free.
Hope you have a speedy recovery and find some shows you really like!
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What should I tell my sister? (Brief update at the end.)
in The Chat Board
Posted
I thought she knew you were living apart before--is that right?
If yes, she already knows that's been part of your process, so I don't get why it would be a huge revelation if you have another period of the same thing. At least in my relationships there's a lot of circling back around the same issues and attempts to deal with them, and no one else needs to know the blow-by-blow.
Sorry if I misunderstood and she wasn't aware when you were apart before.
In any case it does sound like she's giving you really consistent signals on what she can and can't handle now.