Well in this case it doesn't matter at all, right? They probably feel that they need the excuse to justify the boundary (even if they don't), but it doesn't change the result a bit, since they don't need an excuse to decide not to come.

Well you're not out $85 and the books, you're just out $15 and the books, maybe look at it that way? Shipping media mail is tricky because it does take longer to arrive than most people are used to (even if they say beforehand they don't mind). I would just upcharge $5 (or eat $5 of shipping) and ship Priority flat rate padded in the future.

Well I'm not Christian, so I'd have to deliberately study the religious allegory to have any clue, lol.

Prydain is great! The good thing about Narnia is they are so well studied online that you can read essay after study guide after discussion question set about the series and be busy for a year, for free. It's more fun that way too because you get a wider variety of viewpoints

I'd document the reason the time was missed, save any written communication you had about the agreement to miss this visit, and offer to make it up at a time convenient to your DH and the person supervising. Going forward, if there is illness again, I'd say in writing, "hey, we're sick; do you want the kids to come over anyway or would you like to make up this time later this week after we're not contagious?" Your legal situation is probably different from mine, but in mine, if I unilaterally withheld the kids from visitation, he would have every right to take me to court to complain about it and possibly get more visitation time overall as a result (or a contempt charge for having violated the agreement) - however, one missed visit (and one which you offer to make up later) are not really something a court wants to deal with. I would try to set a precedent now, though, so it can't come back to bite you later and so that you both have a plan for it going forward. I mean, the kids are going to be sick at some point in the next few months, or you will, or your DH will.

I doubt it's Covid.

That Zelensky is really something else. I am moved. I'm not that easy to move, anymore, but I am moved. I'd like to also note that there are probably thousands of people in Poland doing God's work, taking in refugees. What a nightmare.

I'm with Rosie; I don't think he'll die eating carrots and pb&j and canned beans for several weeks, but I'd warn him that it is his decision and therefore his work, and you won't be very available to help make it fun.

I think Copeland is pretty cheerful

I had a shopping dream and my analyst said it was a really good sign, that shopping is an act of individuation - like choosing your own stuff, picking things out, selecting and discarding - so it meant I was learning to choose things in life that I like. He was way more pleased than I thought the dream warranted. I did have a nifty one several months ago in which I was escaping the apocalypse, and at the end of the dream came to a massive white bridge that rained gentle cleansing water as cars entered the bridge; the bridge went over one of the great lakes, to Canada; it was very high, and underneath down to the water was covered in mist and spray.

And of course the next thing my analyst would say is, "Tell me about your paternal grandmother." (not to suggest that you actually tell me about your paternal grandmother, but that's what he'd say). And then, "Tell me about bonzais, and about this native Australian tree."

I really like the image of this giant (native?) bonsai-like tree, which has been pruned and pruned, managed, its growth carefully controlled and guided, but instead of remaining small has grown massive and has one branch left free, growing up into the sky. I don't know whether this is a positive or negative thing, of course, but I do really like the image. I wish I could get such good images in my dreams - recently they're all about my in-laws, and the most imagey thing my unconscious has come up with in weeks is a house on fire. Mostly it's really just standing around in houses (or hallways, or pavillions, or outdoors) with my in-laws.

I think both dreams are likely symbolic, but I don't know what a camellia tree is or what it means to you. I think dreams are the unconscious communicating in symbol and image, but also that the symbolism/imagery is deeply personal (more than Jung thought, even). The first dream could go a lot of ways - a positive response to a test? If I dreamed of a pruned giant tree, my analyst might ask if I know who did the pruning.

I'd guess the key is finding him a performing group; if you're near a largish metro, there's usually a community youth band or orchestra (or several) and he should do all of these that he can manage. What you learn in high school band, if you're a good enough player to be considering doing it in college, is really not the specifics of your instrument - that is all learned through private lessons anyway, which I assume he will continue to have. But there are some things you really cannot learn without playing with a group of other people, especially one with mixed instruments, and some things you cannot even learn unless the group is large enough to play standard concert band or orchestral literature. The bonus is that he'll have a lot of time to focus on the instrument! I found it hard to carve out an hour a day outside of school for practice. But he'll also need the group experience.

At 11 I was in level 4 gymnastics, absolutely uncategorically refused to do a back handspring, and was going to compete in the Olympics one day with the aid (this was clever of 11 year old me) of Casper the friendly ghost as an invisible spotter. By 12, I'd seen Apollo 13, so I'd switched to astronaut.

I have a very strong bias against things I have to put together at all, lol. Bunk beds do make a lot of sense for your space, but in your shoes I'd totally buy a used set on craigslist or facebook marketplace. I am the worst (and most irritable) putter-together of furniture in the universe, I think.

Yep those zinus mattresses are excellent; I've had them for 2 years now (and not the super fanciest ones! I get the 8" ones I think) for all 7 twin beds we own, and they're still great.

If you're set on bunks I would totally get something on facebook marketplace (just the frame, though, probably not mattresses) and have whoever it is deliver. That way they'd be mostly put together and you wouldn't have to do much, and you save a lot that way too. I'd stick with the Zinus mattresses because I love them so, but ime facebook marketplace is good for last minute furniture.

Yep, so when I moved out and had no furniture, the cheapest thing that was functional was those folding platform frames from Amazon (they're metal) and Zinus twin mattresses from Walmart - very comfortable, cheap, durable, and easy to move (because they expand, so they come in a box that you can wheel out to the car, etc.). You can order them through Amazon if you don't want to do Walmart, I think it's the same product. No advice about bunks. But the advantage of the folding metal platform frames is that they're super easy to set up - you unfold them, move the little bracing thing down, and there you have it. No construction involved.

Bah

Oooh I'm certain I've won, I just know it's Mike and Ikes, lol

Mike and Ikes

That sounds like a fabulous plan! Well done.

removed

I hear you, Catwoman, and I know it comes from a good place, and from kindness and hope. And heck, maybe that would work. But I know that when I finally left, my husband's twin sister called me (and recorded the conversation! and played it in court!) and said all of those things you just said, because she loved her brother and wanted to think that if he just finally got better, we could go back to the way things once were. I knew where she was coming from, and I knew I couldn't go back, but it still haunted me for a while, this idea that I had some moral obligation to extend him some grace that I wasn't extending, the possibility of reconciliation. Of course the situation here is certainly different, I dunno. I just tend to err on the side of supporting women where they are when they have finally decided to take care of themselves instead of taking care of their spouse, who is not even safe enough to leave the kids at home alone with. It's possible I'm too personally jaded on this. It did strike me as pretty remarkable that I had to defend in court both why I had left my husband and didn't want the kids to be with him alone AND why I had stayed with him and had ever left the kids with him alone. There's no winning, sometimes, for women.