[Update - FEMA funeral assistance for Covid]

In case this helps anyone, after uploading lots of documentation, making many phone calls, writing letters etc. my mother-in-law received her FEMA Covid funeral assistance this morning in her account in the amount of $9000. This is such a big deal for her, s as they didn’t have much like insurance and most of it went to funeral costs. She’s going to be very relieved! She also got her mortgage restructuring finalized, so between the two she is much better financially than she was. 

[Poll - Do You Wash New Clothes Before Wearing?]

I always do because the few times I haven't I've broken out in a rash or ended up with die on my skin. 

[Has anyone ordered carpet from Home Depot? What do I need to know?]

We had Home Depot do our home office and my son’s bedroom. The carpets were the same as the samples and they have held up well going on 8 years now. My mother-in-law decided to use them for the living room a few years ago, and the install was done very well and the carpet is a good quality. We’ll definitely use them for our bedroom when the time comes, hopefully soon!

[How do you pronounce “experiment”?]

1 hour ago, Matryoshka said:

Ex-PEH-ri-ment.

Short 'e' and the 'r' is part of the next syllable.

I say it the same way. I’m in northern NJ.

[Recent calluses? on feet - can't figure out the cause.]

3 hours ago, Laurie said:

Epsom salts are drying.   Could you maybe try soaking your feet without the salts for awhile to see if you notice an improvement? 

You might also want to go to you tube and search for Dr Dray.  She's a dermatologist and some of her videos are about foot care.  There's a lotion she recommends for dry patches on the feet but I can't remember the name right now...I'll see if I can find it.  

(Kerasal foot ointment, not a lotion)

Thanks! I skipped the epsom salts tonight, but I was thinking about adding some tea tree oil tomorrow. A friend recommended it, but I've never used it before. 

[Recent calluses? on feet - can't figure out the cause.]

4 hours ago, MercyA said:

This is just what I was going to say. Plantar warts are flat and can look very similar to calluses. Filing them can spread the virus to other parts of the foot.

I definitely won't be filing them again! They were pretty inflamed after that and very tender and painful. 

[Recent calluses? on feet - can't figure out the cause.]

4 hours ago, Laura Corin said:

You're sure they aren't plantar warts?

Looking at pictures, it's a possibility. I don't know where the virus could have come from though, but I think I will check out some home remedies.

[Recent calluses? on feet - can't figure out the cause.]

4 hours ago, Seasider too said:

You might want to try some lotrimin just to make sure it’s not fungal. 
 

 

My husband said the same thing, so I will pick some up tomorrow. I figure it can't make my feet any worse...

[Recent calluses? on feet - can't figure out the cause.]

Over the last few weeks I've developed calluses? on a few spots on both feet. I'm not really sure where they're coming from. I don't wear shoes often, as I'm not out of the house much. I have a pair of sandals that I wear a few times a day, usually just to go on our deck a few times a day for some sun and fresh air. I wear those shopping, or sneakers. My sneakers aren't tight, I wear socks with them when I do wear them. I don't get tight shoes because they bother my feet due to residual numbness/tingling from MS, so I don't see how my shoes are doing this. I have one area between my big toe and the next tow where there is overlap with that toe and the next, and I've had a slight rough patch there for a few years, but now that has become really cracked and painful at the same time the other spots started. It's on the tip of my toes, the outer bottom sides of both feet, the inner side of one foot, and between the big toe and the next toe on one foot. They are cracked and painful. I tried filing down a few of the spots and the next day it was red around the edges of the dry thick skin, and it looked inflamed. I've been soaking my feet in an epsom salt soak every night, which gives me temporary relief, and using a lotion with aloe. If I don't keep up with that the cracking and pain increases. I've had athletes foot as a teen in a house full of athletic boys, lol, but this doesn't seem like it and nobody else has these issues in the house. Any ideas what could be causing it or what may help? I'm starting to consider a podiatrist at this point...

[Are people still masking?]

My county is about 51% fully vaxxed, my family is completely vaccinated. We are still masking in stores and other indoor places. Dh is masking at church but not at his rosary group, where everyone is vaccinated. Right after the mask mandate was dropped for vaccinated people and recommended for unvaccinated we saw a lot of unmasked people in stores. Lately it seems like more people are masking than a few weeks ago, probably because of the delta variant. 

On a side note, I've heard from a few unvaccinated people that are planning to get the shot after reading about the office in Florida with 2 deaths. I'm curious if this tragedy has had that effect on others.

[Juneteenth National Holiday]

I heard the neighbors talking disdainfully about it - the same neighbors that were complaining about the Black Lives Matter and LGBTQ+ Lives Matter signs on the lawn a few houses away. Unfortunately we live in an area where this is a pretty common sentiment.😒 They've probably heard enough of our conversations outside that they have decided that we are not their kind of people.

A very few businesses were closed yesterday, but we got mail. I read that most federal employees would be observing on Friday, but I don't remember if we got mail on that day or not... SIL was upset that the cemetery was closed today for Juneteenth, as it's Father's Day and she wanted to put flowers on FILs grave. 

[If you have had a Covid loss, how do you feel about things re-opening?]

In our state (NJ) masks aren't required for vaccinated people in many situations. We are all vaccinated, but we're still wearing masks in our immediate family for the most part. Dh didn't wear a mask at church this Sunday, but if it was a later Mass with more people he would have. I will wait a few weeks before I decide if I can go without in the store. I will probably get a haircut without a mask if possible, but I'm working up to that. As far as the general feeling of COVID being behind us, that really makes me scratch my head. I'd like to see how the coming winter will be, then maybe I'll change how I feel. I can't say I'm unhappy about business picking up - the industry we service was hit particularly hard, which eventually hit us. But things are starting to get better, and dh has even had a few masked meetings with very good precautions in place.

We lost my father-in-law early on, shortly after everyone started taking things seriously. He went from the hospital to rehab and the rehab/nursing home closed to visitors before any state mandates, but they were still taking outpatient rehab clients while confining inpatient rehab to their rooms, so we're angry about that, but I think these places were unprepared in general. I don't know what could have been done differently, thinking about how these places are run. I'm sure the virus was circulating before the state mandates took place, and with the immediate shortages of PPE, I'm not surprised what happened. The facility where he was doesn't list any COVID deaths, and that makes me more angry than anything else. They cater to a wealthy clientele for the nursing home end of things, and I'm sure they don't want to tarnish their image. He didn't die there, but he caught it there. 

[How to help a child with extreme needle anxiety get the Covid shot]

We gave ds .5 mg Xanax before the first shot. He's not as bad with the needle anxiety as he was, but he was extremely Covid-phobic and hadn't been out of the house in over a year. That did the trick, and he did amazingly well. I realized for his second shot that I didn't give him any meds at all and had a brief moment of panic, but dh said he did great and didn't need anything. Ds is 22, and a big guy, so .25 or even half of one should be plenty if your doctor would consider something like that. They can write a prescription for one - it's quite common for these situations or MRI fear, which I have. Ativan never worked for ds. Bribery, etc. never worked with him either - if anything it added more anxiety by highlighting the event as a big deal. When he was younger, his pediatrician used to get him into some kind of martial arts hold to give him shots. He used to run out of her house, lock himself in the bathroom, etc. It was a nightmare!! My niece is in college and didn't get hers because of needle phobia, but she had Covid and should have some immunity for a while. Hugs to your daughter! 

[s/o Openly gay person]

18 hours ago, Dmmetler said:

I am absolutely convinced that the sweet JW ladies who went door to door to pass out literature each month got me through L's infancy. We'd just moved to a new house, I didn't have social connections since many of mine had previously come from work, and I was struggling with post-partum depression. Those ladies coming by regularly, sharing a scripture, and then, Al mk owt inevitably, ending up talking about babies and grandchildren were a lifeline. They didn't convert me, but I'm glad they were there.

I had the same experience when ds was very young. We had an understanding that they would never, ever convert me, but they always brought little coloring books for ds. They were so sweet, we'd end up chatting for 20-30 minutes about raising kids every time they were in our neighborhood. Eventually the management at our apartment complex asked them not to come anymore, which made me sad.

[cooling cloths...do they really work?]

I find they don't do enough for me. I use these: https://www.koldtec.com/pages/ice-towel

I have a bunch of strips frozen and ready for when the one I'm using isn't cold anymore. I put them in a small cooler of insulated lunch bag if I'm out for a longer time. 

[Other moms of SN kids? Need some solidarity.]

17 hours ago, itsheresomewhere said:

I totally get this.  Right now, I am dealing with one adult kid who is too advanced for services as there is nothing for kids like him.  I can pay for help myself ( 300 an hour  for a job coach is not realistic for most people who are seeking out services) or figure it out myself.  So we are doing the latter.  It will be hard but someone has to do it.  How many of kids like him who are considered too advanced for services but need it to fully function in the world fall through the cracks crosses my mind often lately. 
 

My youngest is now on the spectrum ( it has been debated for a few years so I am not surprised). When the activities that were helping her overcome some issues have been closed for over a year  and there is nothing to replace them. Trying to keep up with a HFA 2E kid is mentally and emotionally exhausting. 
 

 

My son is also too advanced for services. And there's a real lack of options in our area, even if we could afford to pay ourselves. We used to be able to do that when he was younger, but we can't say he has benefited from the thousands of dollars we put into therapies and social skills groups, etc. 

[Anyone forced to make lifestyle changes because of a health problem?]

I have similar issues. Ds has food issues (sensory related) and is on WW, I eat gluten free and recently went full wfpb due to cardiac issues, dh eats whatever, neighbor who is temporarily staying with us has no teeth, and mil changes her diet daily. I have one meal I can make with a little extra work and that works for everyone except the neighbor (I freeze leftovers into individual meals for when we are eating something he can't), but I'm trying to figure out meals I can do in a similar fashion. This is what I made last night: https://reciperunner.com/greek-lemon-chicken-skewers-tzatziki-sauce/

I did the chicken for the rest of the family, but for me I took two tablespoons of the marinade and added it to a drained can of chickpeas. I popped them in the air fryer until they were a little bit crisp but kind of chewy. Everyone eats the chicken in a pita with the tzatziki and their choice of the following: thin sliced cucumber, shredded lettuce, thin sliced tomato, red onion and feta cheese. I make my own tzatziki with Kite Hill dairy free sour cream, and it's delicious. I will either make a big salad with all the veggies, chickpeas and dairy-free tzatziki or I use a gluten free wrap or gf pita if I can find it. For other days I make quick meals for myself, often rice and beans. I'm addicted to A Dozen Cousins ready to eat beans and frozen brown rice. I put the rice on a plate, beans on top and microwave. I usually put some avocado on top. My husband does a lot of the cooking for everyone else, so that makes it easier to focus on myself. But I'd never get the rest of my family to eat the way I do, and on days when I'm cooking sometimes I'm making 3 separate meals. We used to do more freezer cooking, and we've decided to get back into it, but freezing in smaller containers now that we're all over the place with who will eat what.

[Other moms of SN kids? Need some solidarity.]

I could have written your post, except for the work/career area. I've worked with dh since he was born, which made some things better, other things worse... Ds is 22 now, and doing much better behaviorally, so gatherings and outings are usually enjoyable. But I don't know that independence will ever be achieved, and birthdays for cousins are very emotional to me, more so than his own birthday. I see them moving on in life, moving on from him... I am very thankful that his younger years are behind us though. They were tough. And he may not be where I wished he would be at this age when I imagined his life when he was born, but he is very loving and thoughtful (best hugger ever!!🥰), is able to contribute to our business, and has an excellent moral compass among many other positives. 

[DDP Yoga - Where Do I Start?]

I started at chair, as I was in the middle of an MS relapse. I probably could have started with Stand Strong (I think that's what it's called - part of Rebuild) but chair was pretty challenging at that time. 

[Is the pollen extra bad *everywhere*?]

Going by how our car looks, I have seen it this bad in the past, but ds suddenly has allergies that he's never had before. The people I know who normally have allergies all say they are worse this year. 

[I'm going to SCREAM!!!! (I hate mortgage companies!)]

On 5/12/2021 at 4:38 PM, dsmith said:

I can't even tell you the hours and hours I have in with my mother-in-law's mortgage company. We've been at this for over a year. First the forebearance, and then they were to send the paperwork for a loan modification, which they sent with deceased fil's name on it, waiting months for them to re-send, then being told to get it notarized as is but bring the death certificate (which the notary would NOT notarize!!) and now waiting weeks for them to re-send paperwork without fil's name, again. Daily phone calls from their collection department even though they can see we are in the process of modifying the loan, scary letters which freak out my mil, etc. It's a nightmare. I can completely relate to your hate of mortgage companies. 

I just wanted to follow up on our situation. After a few more calls, we found out that they closed the loan modification because of NOT RECEIVING THE PAPERWORK in time. 🤬The paperwork that hasn't been sent yet. Dh decided to try emailing higher ups in the company. He emailed one of the the VPs and actually got a response within 30 minutes. We now are working directly with someone who answers to the VP to resolve the situation. We've been told to contact the VP immediately if we have any more issues. He decided to do this after seeing a video or article about someone doing this and having their problem resolved, and figured what the heck. We're hopeful we can put this mess behind us soon!!

[People with IBS and getting COVID vaccine]

2 IBS sufferers here, nothing from the Pfizer or Moderna vaccines. Stress is the main cause of flares for me nowadays, and I've been much better since the vaccine! 

[Going back to church]

Dh had been going when cases were low, stopped when they went higher and just started back last week. He goes to the earliest Mass at 8 am, which only had about 50 people pre-covid. He doesn't go up for communion as social distancing seems to fly out the window and people take their masks off before their turn. Our state mask mandate hasn't changed, so everyone is masked and at the least every other pew is blocked. He also goes to a rosary group one night a week, very distanced and only about 5 -9 people in the smaller chapel, but still plenty of room to spread out. 

[I’m proud of myself today]

Wow, that it quite an accomplishment! You should be very proud of yourself!!!

[I'm conflicted - dog related.]

7 hours ago, stephanier.1765 said:

I want to be that person who adopts senior animals and gives them the best last few days/months/ years of their lives but it just hurts so much when you lose one. The death of my dog 2 years ago still brings me to tears so as much as I want to I just can't. I totally understand where you are coming from. You have to do what's best for you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss. 😞

 

It really is so sad how many senior dogs are in the shelters. I think I could handle it emotionally if I had the money for vet care. We spent thousands when our dog got cancer, only to lose him to something completely unrelated, but I'm thankful for the extra months we had with him by treating him. We're not the type to put a dog down for expensive but treatable conditions, so we would go broke adopting senior dogs!