I totally lowered my expectations for this year. With a toddler and preschooler, I have FINALLY learned to let go of wanting a nice, picked up house. It wasn't a disaster but it was a lot messier than I would like. I just ignored it and played with the kids. I picked up once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and I'll do it once more when the kids are in bed. Instead, I played, napped, ate, and played again. It was fantastic! I also let go of the perfect dinner and just let dh make it. It was tasty and the best part was I didn't have to do any of it. I'd say, overall, it was a very good day.

I just got rid of childrens books on our local Freecycle board.

We watched this last night and let me tell you, it was absolutely amazing!!!! I can't put enough exclamation points after that to emphasize how incredibly awe-inspiring and beautiful this movie is. It definitely helped us to focus on God and Christ so much more.

We were getting ready to open presents, the kids had already opened their stockings, when we noticed a beeping sound. I had assumed it was ds's hydro clock that he was setting. It turned out to the carbon monoxide alarm downstairs (we live in a raised ranch). It was starting to look just the tiniest bit foggy upstairs where we were, but I could have easily attributed that to early morning wakefulness and my eyes not yet being awake. So we went downstairs when we realized it was the alarm. It was totally smoky in the room where the furnace was. We aired out the house, turned off the furnace, and dh did some troubleshooting on the furnace. He figured out a bit of metal piping rusted and fell into the pipe, blocking the exhaust (I don't totally understand how this works). As of right now, we only have the one alarm but tomorrow we are going out to get another for the upstairs. I am just so thankful that this didn't happen while we were sleeping or while it was super, super cold. We had an unusually warm day, so we didn't end up with a freezing house. I feel God must have been looking out for us!!

I know it's not the game itself that is the problem but I'm just venting.... We've had a great day. Really, it's been fun. Everyday actually is pretty good. Until about 8:30pm...then you can literally see dh getting antsy as every minute passes until he can get onto his game. I rented a movie weeks ago (from Netflix) and we still haven't watched it because dh hasn't been willing to give up his game one night so we can watch it together. I asked him, just for tonight, one night, let's watch the movie together, could he skip his game just this one time? I even said it would mean so much if he chose me over the game this one night, for Christmas. Na da...afraid not. I told him I feel abandoned because of this game. He didn't answer that. So I finally just said I'll watch the movie myself tonight because sometimes you just have to give up. He said, "What do you mean?" I said, "I'll just give up on this." He said, "ok"....and went to set up for his stupid, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID game!!!!! I'm yelling this at the top of my lungs, inside my head!!!!! Can I say it again....I HATE THAT GAME!!!! Maybe losing our electricity for a week wouldn't be so bad! Maybe I'd get my dh back at night. :mad:

Anytime the music starts, I tear up.

Wow, I like that response!!

I have always wanted a pair of the reindeer. I just think they're sweet looking at night. We live in a semi-rural area and have lots of trees around our house, so I think it would look pretty with all of the pines and snow. But that's just me.

Wow! That's awesome! Congratulations!

I must be incredibly naiive or somethings wrong w/me....I don't really understand what it is that the girls are doing. Anything I could imagine seems impossible in a class room. And that's why it's a very good thing that we are homeschooling. Makes me think about when I was home after having ds #5 and was taking oxycodon for postpartum pain. I was talking to a friend of mine who has a son in high school. She told me to lock that stuff up, that it was a popular drug on the street and in the schools. I had NO idea what she was talking about. Boy, after talking to her, I felt like I had been living in a bubble-I seem to have very little concept of the outside world. Scary.

He is very interested in learning to grind his own wheat and bake bread. But he is also very intimidated by the idea. So he has 100 lbs. of wheat berries at home and too scared to do anything with it. I told him he can also boil it for cereal but I'd like to get him a breadmaker for Christmas. Who has a breadmaker that they just LOVE and would heartily recommend for a 70+ year old man? Thanks guys!!

I'm not sure if talking to our pastor will help right now. I think dh would feel uncomfortable because we only started going to this church about a month ago. Dh is a very private person. However, I do believe that he is under a lot of stress at work and financially, we're doing better but ONLY because his father bailed us out of $17k worth of debt! So, dh just wants to make sure we don't go there again. I grew up in Alaska so he doesn't believe me when I tell him I'm uncomfortable driving in snow. It's not even the snow so much, it's more the small towns, back roads and no snow tires, no cell phone, and a van full of kids that makes me very nervous. If I were alone, it wouldn't be as intimidating because if I got stuck, I could walk to find some help. With 5 kids in tow, that's a bit more difficult. But I should've called him and let him know about the price difference. He is having a very busy and stressful time at work right now and wouldn't have been able to pick it up himself because of the distance & the business hours...but that could've been his choice. I don't know. He does yell more now than he used to. He has more of a hair trigger temper these days. He is hugely addicted to WoW and although he uses it as stress control, he is losing touch w/me and the kids. He said that he was going to cancel it but then got mad at me once and recanted. So who knows? I'll leave it alone. I find when I don't say anything and pray that God will talk to him about it, soon after dh decides he needs to stop playing the game. If God is going to talk to dh, I guess I better be quiet so he can hear Him. I did go for a drive last night, after the kids were in bed, and it helped a bit. I talked to my dd this morning about the whole thing and why it's so important to find a way to diffuse the anger before it gets out of control. Being able to come here really, really helped! You ladies are a real blessing! I heard a lot of truth...I'm sure that there are issues of my own to deal with. I just need some time to calm down and then I'll think about that!:) Can I just say it one more time though....I really hate WoW!!!!! Phew...much better.:)

What an awful night. He was on his game till midnight and I just stewed and stewed and tried not to stew. I was mad when I woke up and I'm only calming down right now because he emailed me and told me not to bother returning it, $80 wasn't worth the aftermath it caused, and that he is sorry he yelled. I wrote and told him that the whole episode unmasked some problems that could have easily have gone ignored otherwise. But I apologized for yelling as well and told him I'd talk to the kids. It was so traumatic for them that at first I thought we'd take the day off from school, discuss this, and do some 'relationship and emotional-rebuilding' activities like make cookies and go ice skating at the school rink, or something. But now I'm thinking maybe we should just have a nice breakfast together, discuss it, and move on....life doesn't have to stop. What do you guys think? My oldest dd is up now, so I must go do some mending. Please say a prayer if you think of me!

Dh has been driving me crazy for the past month because he spends 3-4 HOURS each night playing World of Warcraft. I try to not let it show and do my own thing but truth be told, it makes me crazy.That has been brewing for awhile. He's pretty stressed at work and likes to escape into with the game, I guess. He knows I hate it but he's pretty addicted. However tonight, he totally freaked out because he thinks I wasted $80 buying a furnace part and having it delivered rather than saving that money and driving out (into the snowy weather and bad roads in that particular town) and picking it up myself. I was so nervous about driving in my van and getting stuck that I was willing to pay the extra money. He says that if I had wanted to go shopping or do something 'fun', I would've found a way. He's basically calling me a liar. Anyway, he was yelling and yelling....it was awful. I can not emphasize how much that $80 meant to him. After a bit of this, I totally lost it. I started screaming at him and really freaked out! I was going to leave to cool down and started getting my coat on. He said if I left, not to come back. I yelled some more, couldn't find my purse so ended up staying. Plus, who knows if he would've locked me out. My daughter was crying, my son was furious, it was just plain awful. I just can't sweep these things under the rug anymore, I know I shouldn't have lost it like that but I really lost all control. I am so mad, I feel like an out of control toddler. Suddenly, I can understand the furious outbursts from my oldest dd and ds and how it's so hard when you're angry. There's so much anger and because dh won't ever talk about anything, it's all pent up. I have absolutely no time for counseling, it's all I can do to keep the house together and homeschool. I'm tired of his apologies and nothing changes. I hate that stupid computer game. And I hate feeling so out of control. I can't seem to forgive him and move on. I'm just mad and have no place to vent. Well, that's not totally true, I can talk to my sister and she helps a lot. But what do you do, when you're so mad about something, the person you're upset with has no interest in discussing it w/you, and you're just left there....stewing. How do you let it go? I want to enjoy my life and I want to be able to sleep tonight and I don't want this eating away at my health. I can just feel it in my chest...it's awful. I feel like I've got to emotionally distance myself from him. But what does that do to a marriage. We have a good relationship when he's in a good mood but when he's stressed...watch out....he's like a ticking time bomb. What does Christ want me to do? What does not sinning in your anger look like? I suppose I could start by not flipping out like that again. How do I keep from taking his outbursts so personally. I feel like, to do that, I have to almost emotionally divorce him. Tomorrow I have a lot of talking and repenting to do with the kids. I think it'll be a good "teaching moment" for sure.

I think I spent under $200 for everyone...I found some things on either ebay or used books on Amazon. I also joined Paperback Swap and got some free books. I'm a little worried that the kids might be disappointed though. For example, ds will only be receiving a Yankees fleece blanket, a Bible cover, some books, some Under Armor for Scout winter camping trips, and some fun stocking stuffers. We've talked about buying less this year but I'm starting to wonder whether I should have bought one super fun gift for each of them instead of such practical items. Too late now I guess....

http://onedollardietproject.wordpress.com/ This is why I love Saturdays....I have the time to meander and sometimes even happen upon gems-like this blog. I'd love to hear what people think of this. Obviously, it's not something we could do and be healthy but I wonder, how close could we get? It's a cool thing to think about.

When I was pregnant w/ #5, someone at work told dh, "Another one? That's just irresponsible." Dh's an engineer that supports us well-I can't figure out how someone could say something like that to him. Dh just laughed at him.

Well, we've survived another storm....34 minutes later, he's back to being a smiling, sweet, helpful son. He's watching his little brother and just being a joy. This is after taking out the trash and feeding and watering the chickens. I'm going to go savor this moment. Thanks for all the encouragement and advice ladies. I'm saving this thread because I'm going to need to refer back to it daily!:D I'm exhausted.

When can it be attributed to hormones and when should it be addressed as an attitude issue? He has an attitude w/everyone...me, his sisters, the dog...all of us except dh. He wants to argue about everything and sometimes I remember to "disengage, disengage..." and I try to just remove myself either from his vicinity or at least emotionally. Should I address every single instance of snideness, argumentativeness, and disrespectfulness and how do I do that? He has lost his allowance, he is out of money (I used to fine him for rudeness), I don't know what else to do. I am thinking of tomato staking him, if that could work w/someone this age. I am at my wits end but at the same time, I'm thankful I am around to address this and we have the time to do it, since we are homeschooling. I really, really need some help, he's driving me crazy! Ooh, I just had an idea, I could start sending him outside to do a chore when he gets impossible. I used to do that with him when he was younger and it worked wonders. Any other ideas or advice? Thanks!

She just loves anything medical-related. Whenever we go to the library, she's off in the corner reading about asthma, scoliosis, you name it. So any cool gift ideas for her? Thanks!

My dh (a computer engineer) said one of our viruses came from Norton. It was somehow embedded in the program or something crazy. I don't quite understand it but both my fil (another computer guy) and dh don't trust Norton at all.

He went to a scouting event this afternoon w/the leader, his son, and dh. They met up with a few other boys from the patrol. I guess the leaders son and the other boys got together for a movie tonight at one of the other boys houses and so ds rode home alone w/dh and his leader. He looks so deflated and it makes me really sad for him. I guess he won't be invited to everything but to ride home alone like that, I think it was just so discouraging for him. What should I do? Or is there even anything I can do. Maybe it's just life...I don't know. But I'm sad.

Wow, I'm overwhelmed with the responses. Thankful as well. It's a lot to mull over...I don't know where to begin. Well, no, that's not true. I'll start with prayer, lots of prayer, and being thankful daily that we are now back to homeschooling. I'm hesitant to take him out of scouts because he says that he likes it. I'd love to be a fly on the wall though because he also says there's a lot of arguing, bickering, name calling, general messing around with eachother. I used to get a little frustrated with it but his leader said that, while not acceptable, it IS normal behavior for boys this age and it's what they go through. Whatever. He once told me, "Well you've never been a teenage boy" when I was saying that something just wasn't right. True. I wasn't quite sure where to go from there. Obviously we're on different pages...or planets, I guess. This is just craziness. On a positive note, 2 friends of mine confirmed today that 1) we need to help ds find better friends and distance him from his current only friend and that 2) homeschooling is providing him with the only haven he has right now. One of them said she believed it was better to have no friends than one w/negative influence. So I started a new thread seeking help on finding friends for a middle school boy. There aren't many older homeschooled boys around here. As the kids get older, many end up going to school. Anyway, like I said, lots to think about. I appreciate the amount of wisdom shared here though. I couldn't thank you all enough!!

He's in scouts. It hasn't been a very positive experience. In fact, I just posted another thread a few days ago about a bullying experience he had, where some boys were calling him "gay" for being in scouts. He likes it but I wouldn't say that he's developing any positive friendships in it. The boys tend to like to cut each other down and bicker a lot. He's not as athletically inclined as other boys his age and so when he has played sports in the past, he has felt like a failure and discouraged. He loves to play though. I think we need to help him develop his ability in independent sports like biking or swimming, team sports have never been a happy experience for him. Too much competition, especially as they get older. He tried fencing for awhile, maybe that's something he could try again. Thanks for the ideas!