This week I finished Meridian by Alice Walker and I'm currently reading Away by Jane Urquhart.

The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry (If you liked A Man Called Ove).

There are times that I could but there are many times that I can't and it's those times that I am having the problems.

I am trying to think about a story because that will get me hooked the longest. I am struggling. The only stories I seem to think about have starting points in reality and are not taking me away from my life. I used to have a big imagination as a child. I remember trying to make puppet shows for my kids when they were babies and they weren't very good and then watching them play with their Little People but not being very good at it myself. I have made up a lot of cute and funny stories for them over the years but I never feel confident that the story is going anywhere until it is over and these are short, silly children's stories and they do not capture my imagination.

We did it with them (everything but the floor) and I would do it again with them but there were a lot of little problems with the process. It was definitely not as professional as I thought it would be. I found talking to the designer at the beginning extremely helpful to iron out all the details.

The way my life is right now I have periods of time where I can't do any,thing ie. turn on lights to read (and sometimes my eyes are too tired anyway), or use devices or walk around and do things, or do crafts etc. These are times when I am basically alone with my own thoughts, often in the dark. I am finding that sometimes I am having negative thoughts where I dwell on negative things I cannot change. I sometimes visualize things I have to do the next day and this is positive but I can only do this so much. I have tried to go through multiplication tables, especially the higher numbers that I don't know well but I find this boring and give up. Any other ideas? What can I do to occupy my mind? Anyone else try to occupy your mind like this? What do you do?

I didn't know that there was a movie but as I was reading the book I kept thinking that it was perfect for a movie, especially if they got the perfect actors for the characters. Did they? I hope the acting was good.

I think when the economy gets tighter it be comes much harder to afford a liberal arts education. They don't lead directly to jobs and this is impractical to most who will have high student loans to worry about. So, if students don't want them colleges will cut them. Also, our society values STEM more nowadays. It is sad because a liberal arts education teaches people to see the big picture and to think and communicate.

Loaded baked potatoes Vegetable soup with protein added. Just put in whatever vegetables you have and add cheese, leftover chicken or precook end meatballs etc. for protein. Or, you could add pasta. Serve with crackers and/or bread.

Can he make sandwiches in advance? A big turkey sandwich in a bun or a sub? Or peanut butter sandwiches? Or can he buy sandwiches from the convenience store? or is there a subway or some other fast food along the way to his class?

I was a bit like this at that age. I know it was caused by feeling bad about my appearance and being bullied.

I have been under a lot of stress lately and sometimes feeling like I could suddenly drop dead. So that's part of it. Maybe there is some stuff I don't want my kids to see. I'm not sure. Maybe there is some stuff that would be interesting to them. I think the problem is that this requires time. Some people write really long letters. I will just have to do it slowly. Also, it is emotionally disturbing and uplifting in a nostalgic way at the same time. It's hard to explain.

Well, I ended up only having half an hour instead of an hour. I went through one small bag and got rid of about one fifth, maybe 15 letters. Not so great. I can't burn them, I just can't. Scanning them would take forever. I already have photos I want to scan and that is a priority. There are so many, so many sides, faint writing that is already hard to read. There is pretty paper, embossing and pretty envelopes. The pretty envelopes bring me joy. It is not the kind of thing I want to look at on a computer screen. It feels almost like they are a record of the truth and that stops me from throwing them. It feels wrong. But some I want to throw out and I can't figure out which ones. I want to throw out more than 3/4 but I am only throwing out one fifth. I am finding this so so hard.

Yes! And who I cannot be anymore.

They are friends, family and people I met traveling. I am throwing out more family letters because they hurt a lot. Looking at the letters, I remember that I was once an exciting person with a lot going on in her life.