Homecoming dance.... what to expect???

[Jackie in NE]

Has anyone's dd or ds been to a homecoming dance recently??

 

My oldest dd, who is very modest and conservative, has just been given permission by dh and I to attend homecoming. She was asked by a nice boy, who attends youth group with her, and whose family we know fairly well. They are not "a couple". This appears to be more just 2 friends going together. Great! Then we went shopping for "the dress". I hate the current fashions. Who can actually look good in those things anyway? :001_huh: Dd is a swimmer. She has very broad shoulders and an athlete's build. She is 5'8'' and 155 lbs of muscle! Anyway, we got the dress bought. It is flattering to her figure, and modest. Yay!

 

But it has been a while since I've been to a homecoming dance! Not to sound like an old person,...... but what goes on at these things these days? Are the kids allowed to leave the dance and then return? Are there horrible public displays of, you know, intimacy, going on? I've heard horror stories. :confused:

 

What is your perspective and experience?

 

Cheers, Jackie

[snowbeltmom]

Has anyone's dd or ds been to a homecoming dance recently??

 

But it has been a while since I've been to a homecoming dance! Not to sound like an old person,...... but what goes on at these things these days?

 

Cheers, Jackie

 

My son went to the homecoming dance last year. He and his date went out to dinner with three other couples (none were boyfriend/girlfriend) before they went to the homecoming dance at the high school.

 

Before being permitted to enter the dance at the high school, the kids had to stand in line and pass the breathalyzer test. Once the kids were admitted to the dance, they were not permitted to leave the dance and then come back.

 

My son said he enjoyed going out to dinner. He did not like the dance. He said the music was too loud, and it was not possible to talk. I am sure my dd will have a different opinion when she is old enough to go since she likes to actually dance rather than stand around.:)

[TranquilMind]

Has anyone's dd or ds been to a homecoming dance recently??

 

My oldest dd, who is very modest and conservative, has just been given permission by dh and I to attend homecoming. She was asked by a nice boy, who attends youth group with her, and whose family we know fairly well. They are not "a couple". This appears to be more just 2 friends going together. Great! Then we went shopping for "the dress". I hate the current fashions. Who can actually look good in those things anyway? :001_huh: Dd is a swimmer. She has very broad shoulders and an athlete's build. She is 5'8'' and 155 lbs of muscle! Anyway, we got the dress bought. It is flattering to her figure, and modest. Yay!

 

But it has been a while since I've been to a homecoming dance! Not to sound like an old person,...... but what goes on at these things these days? Are the kids allowed to leave the dance and then return? Are there horrible public displays of, you know, intimacy, going on? I've heard horror stories. :confused:

 

What is your perspective and experience?

 

Cheers, Jackie

Well, it depends. I was a chaperone at a Christian School dance and both the music and the dancing were appropriate, under the eagle eye watch of the director.

 

On the other hand, I just read that a nearby, wealthy high school had a dance a couple of weeks ago, and a distraught parent wrote in to the newspaper to describe the things he had seen and how he had been admonished NOT to do anything at all unless people were undressing or having sex! He described how girls were passed around while boys ground up behind them or in front of them, simulating sex acts quite graphically and was clear to indicate that this was not an isolated group of students but almost all of them in attendance.

 

He was warned not to intervene or shine his flashlight on them unless it went further than this (what, copulation?).

 

Ugh.

[AK_Mom4]

It varies. DD17 has gone every year and says that the music is loud and people tend to dance in groups as well as pairs. The "dirty dancing" stuff isn't allowed and she says the school administrators monitor things very closely as well as parent chaparones. This is at the public high school near us.

[goldberry]

I would contact the school and find out what guidelines the school has in place. It certainly appears some schools have stricter guidelines than others.

 

ETA, kudos to you, though for trying to make this work for your DD. There may be a lot of hoops to jump through, but your DD will appreciate your effort to work with her. Myself and another mom planned a church group dance recently, and since we are working with a very conservative group, it was quite a hassle honestly to try to make everything "suitable" for everyone. Some moms said, why are you even bothering, that's why nobody plans dances. Well, DD was glad that I did, in fact, bother, and everyone had a wonderful time.

Edited September 26, 2011 by coloradoperkins

[Virg]

My experience is a lot of inappropriate dancing (grinding and worse) and a lot of inappropriate activity (drinking in bathrooms and worse). I was allowed to go to a total of one dance. I have heard that some schools/areas are better though. Sorry I don't have anything more positive to say!

[Wheres Toto]

As the previous answers indicate - It is going to vary greatly depending on the school. My dd has gone to homecoming at her high school. There are many parent and teacher chaperones since homecoming is a big deal and alumni come back and attend the game and dance. There are strict standards for alcohol and drugs, inappropriate behavior is punished (not just kicked out of the dance - they can lose their right to do sports and activities). There is a lot more group dancing than couples.

 

Some of the girls my dd dances with go to a difference school and they tell a different story. The teachers hate chaperoning because they are not allowed to do anything. There are stories of finding girls panties on the floor after the dance, inappropriate behavior, drinking, etc. I would not let my dd attend a dance at that school.

[Jackie in NE]

Well, it depends. I was a chaperone at a Christian School dance and both the music and the dancing were appropriate, under the eagle eye watch of the director.

 

On the other hand, I just read that a nearby, wealthy high school had a dance a couple of weeks ago, and a distraught parent wrote in to the newspaper to describe the things he had seen and how he had been admonished NOT to do anything at all unless people were undressing or having sex! He described how girls were passed around while boys ground up behind them or in front of them, simulating sex acts quite graphically and was clear to indicate that this was not an isolated group of students but almost all of them in attendance.

 

He was warned not to intervene or shine his flashlight on them unless it went further than this (what, copulation?).

 

Ugh.

 

Oh. My. Word.:eek::eek:

I'm off to call the school, and most likely sign up to be a chaperone. I'm not concerned about my dd doing inappropriate things, but I wonder if she will stand up for herself, and leave a situation that is uncomfortable for her. I find that the other kids her age are so desensitized to the sexualization of everything around them. She is not desensitized. She would be so embarassed if things like this were going on.