How to get a 3 year old to stop repeating unkind words they over heard.

[lynn]

She picked up shut up and you idiot. I want it to stop. We have tried talking to her, ignoring it and time out. It has slowed down but still there. ideas and suggestions for this age? TIA

[lynn]

Where does she overhear them from?

 

 

Teenage brothers. Not frequently, once in a while then she won't let it go.

[Stacey in MA]

He would say it over and over and over again! So embarassing! First of all, I tried doing time outs in the crib, but he didn't seem to get it. He'd be sad for being removed from our family space, cry for being in there, but not seem to make the connection that what he was saying was getting him there. Or maybe he did, but it just didn't stay with him later next time he said it!

 

Anyway, the next thing seemed to work. We simply ignored him. We completely tuned him out when he said it, as if no one said anything. (I had to really try to get the olders not to LAUGH - that just made 2yo say it even more when he got a reaction out of people!)

 

Now he (mostly) doesn't say it anymore. At least not excessively. Once in a blue moon.

 

If he were older, I definitely would offer a consequence like time out, privelege removal, or something similar. But at 2 or maybe even 3, that doesn't always work.

 

Have you tried ignoring it?

 

Good luck! - Stacey in MA

[SeekingSimplicity]

Ignoring it has always worked best for my kids. The less attention they get, even if it is to correct them, the less reason they have to say it.

[Samiam]

My baby, then two, now three, has done that, different words depending on the month.

 

We have always done this, even with older children when they were that age, and it works fine.

 

When he says it, we say "No, we don't say that, it's a bad word!" "We don't say bad words."

 

We use that same wording every time. We also say "We don't say that bad word, we smack lips if people say bad words". (this is for the older age, around 3, when he can comprehend)......NOW, before anyone gets in a uproar, we DO NOT actually smack anyone in our house. What I do it put my two fingers to his lips, not in ANY sort of violent manner, but simply putting my fingers to his lips. It is enough for him to know that he got into trouble, "his lips were smacked" so to speak, enough for his poor feelings to be hurt, but he was NOT actually hurt. It only gets to this point a few times out of many, and this is after he was repeatedly told not to say those words.

 

It usually only takes at the max 2 weeks to break of the words. A few months later, he might have picked up another word, and we do it again. I also had to tell my older children not to laugh or snicker when DS3 says these things, because DS3 loved to get that reaction and promoted him to saying it more.

 

His latest digression last month was "What the hell!"......okay, he probably got that from Daddy, admittedly :(. Inside, I would kind of snicker, cuz he would say it at just the right times, and it seemed funny coming from a 3 year old. But we went with our normal words, and it only took 3-4 days and no more.

[eternalknot]

We have an understanding (in our house) that there are things some people can do, that others cannot (or may not, as the case will be).

 

One of these understandings is that certain words are adult words. When you're legally old enough to vote and serve your country, you are old enough to choose whether or not to speak certain words. In our house, I don't care to hear "shut up" or "stupid" coming from little mouths. They aren't punished, just reminded that they are not yet adults. If I'm feeling silly, we'll look up synonyms and give her words she MAY use. Little kids love those $20K dollar words ;)

 

Even my 3 year old get this concept. She still will try to sneak a few in every so often, but that's par for the course I reckon LOL. We just remind her, and move on.

[Mabeline]

I would just correct the behavior and say "No, say -Be quiet please" just giving them the right word to say and replacing them with better words usually helps. And yes never laugh or look shocked, don't give them the satisfaction of getting a reaction from you.