So, my kiddos are getting a difficult lesson in choices today...

[LisaKinVA]

DH said last night -- very clearly -- that if the LEGOs weren't put away properly (in bins, not meaning sorted/organized etc.), they would lose ALL LEGO (not just the ones not put away).

 

So, today, wasn't a school day, the kiddos (oldest is 9.5) had the opportunity to clean up (pick up). I worked with them in their bedroom, but the play room was theirs. They decided they wanted to play -- even after reminders that their dad was coming home, etc. When my oldest asked if he could go play at a neighbor's house, I reminded him that Dad was coming home with 2 large storage tubs... and that all LEGO would be going away if he didn't pick up -- DS didn't flinch. He wanted to go play.

 

So, DH is now packing away ALL things LEGO. Not just the LEGO toys, mind you... the LEGO magazines, the LEGO Wii games, and even the LEGO website has been blocked.

 

Making matters worse, the "friends" he went to play with beat up on him and really hurt his feelings. This child is having one rough day (well, at least the stuffed animals were put away -- and he still has his stuffed rabbit to love on!)

 

I feel a bit sad -- and a bit relieved. No more Bionicle, LEGO, Duplo to step on (or distract). Honestly, I don't know what the boys are going to do!

 

My dd, on the other hand, made darn sure her Ponies, Barbies and Doll stuff was put away. She wasn't taking any chances on losing that.

 

Although, that's today -- tomorrow, if it's not put away, it will go to the storage unit too.

 

Man, what a day.

[AnnetteB]

At least once a year I have the dc put all the Lego in their tubs and carry them out to the garage for a "break." Usually the toys are left in the garage 2 or 3 months in the summer. When they have them back they are more careful about putting them away for awhile. There are no tears or threats over the situation, but I do give a little warning that I want the Legos picked up or it will be time for a break. The dc don't really consider it to be a meaness on my part, just a time to play with other things so that I can have a "vacation from nagging them." :tongue_smilie:

 

It's a shame that his friends disappointed him today :(

[Aggie]

A friend gave me this parenting advice a long time ago. She said to throw *it* away, though. And make sure I was willing to part with whatever *it* happened to be.

 

So, when dds were 4 and 5, I told them that what wasn't picked up goes in the trash. I was dreading having to throw something valuable away.

 

The first thing they left out was an empty water color tray.:lol: I'm sure they left it out because it was empty, but there were tears when that ol' thing went in the trash!

 

They don't remember the event, but they sure remember the lesson!:001_smile:

[skaterbabs]

I would suggest allowing him to earn back the LEGOs a few at a time. 1. that is a great deal of money down the drain if you toss them, 2. they are a great learning tool, 3. I'm not sure permantly removing a child's belongings over what is truly nothing more than childish behaviour is right. After all, you're punishing the child for BEING a child.

 

Just my two cents, but YMMV.

[dtb1999]

:iagree:with skaterbabs. I would have them earn them back. Or move them to a different location. I know the feeling regarding legos. I recently moved ALL of the legos to their bedroom from our study room because I was sick of stepping on them and looking at them.(It's an open room right off the diningroom) Now the legos are all over the floor in their room. They have storage drawer cubicle things to keep them in, and they do actually pick them up sometimes. I just avoid their room for the most part. That way I don't have to see the legos all over the place very often, because it makes me twitch looking at them strewn all over the floor when they aren't using them. :tongue_smilie:

[Pink Fairy]

What your dh did has been one of the only ways we get my boys to PROPERLY clean up their room. Now that they are 7yo and almost 9yo, my tolerance for Hot Wheels, tiny plastic soldiers, paper, crayons, trash, dinosaurs, plastic food, dirty socks, etc., spread over desks, beds, and floor, is nil. I collect in a laundry basket any toys that aren't put away, and other non-toy stuff I throw in a pile in the middle of the floor and tell them to put it away PROPERLY. I hate that I have to do it, but it gives them a taste of my frustration when I ask them to clean their room, they tell me it IS clean, and then I go in and it still looks like a bomb went off.

 

Anyway....So this method has born fruit, and for the last several months things have been much neater, and I don't get that irritated feeling. It's helped them understand in a way that nothing else did exactly what a clean room looks like. It's not OCD clean, but there is a reasonable semblance of order. Also, after a week they get back whatever they lost.

 

I do feel for your boy though. It's a tough lesson, and it's too bad he got it on the same day his friends were picking on him. :sad: :grouphug:

[Greta]

3. I'm not sure permantly removing a child's belongings over what is truly nothing more than childish behaviour is right. After all, you're punishing the child for BEING a child.

 

:iagree: My dh had a policy of throwing away all toys left in the yard. Made me furious. It's her yard too, she's just a kid, what's the big deal?!? Taking them away for awhile and letting her earn them back makes much more sense. Throwing them away just taught her to play in her room instead of outdoors in the fresh air and sunshine. :glare:

[eaglei]

Some years ago, a friend of mine did something similar. Shd told her girls that whatever they didn't clean up was going in the trash. When she went back to check on them, they had put some things away - and left some things out. When their mom told them those things were going to be thrown out, they said ----- that's okay, they left them out because they didn't want them anymore, so go ahead and toss them!

 

When I became a mom, I remembered that! I never threatened to throw something out unless I was willing to follow through - which I wasn't - (unlike my friend who couldn't bring herself to part with the rejected toys, so she put them in garbage bags and hid them away!)

Edited April 9, 2009 by eaglei

[LisaKinVA]

Oh, I couldn't throw them away... storage unit, okay -- but not throw away :D

 

They will have to earn them back.

 

When we get into our house, vs. this small cramped space, I may be a little more lenient -- but we'll have ot see.

 

Lisa

[Nestof3]

Yes, I know that is tough to watch, but I do hope that after a period, they will have another chance. I know that even as an adult, I hope I would be given another chance.

 

I threw some of Aaron's Legos away when he was younger because he left them on the floor (after repeated warnings). To this day, I regret it. His sets are now incomplete, and he is a responsible adult -- not perfect, but responsible. I think I could have taught the lesson just as well by restricting him from them for a period instead of being so radical about it.

[eaglei]

3. I'm not sure permantly removing a child's belongings over what is truly nothing more than childish behaviour is right. After all, you're punishing the child for BEING a child.

:iagree:

[Nestof3]

Oh, I couldn't throw them away... storage unit, okay -- but not throw away :D

 

They will have to earn them back.

 

When we get into our house, vs. this small cramped space, I may be a little more lenient -- but we'll have ot see.

 

Lisa

 

Oops -- I posted too late. :)

[SherryTX]

I have done some things similar in the past. One day I walked in my oldest two daughters' room and it was a disastor, as it had been for about a month. I told them a few days before I was going in and clearing off all the surfaces (desk, drawers, top of bookcase, etc.) and I didn't care what was on it, they were losing it.

 

They had repeated warnings. They didn't believe me. So I went in with a big box, and put my arm out and pushed everything in it. They were shocked and awed. The box stayed in the home office for a very long time.

 

Normally, I wouldn't be such a stinker about their bedroom. But it was out of control, as in, couldn't see any surface, and most of the floor.

 

One thing my husband and I realized a year or so ago that our kids have too much stuff to expect them to take care of it properly. So we cut back on birthday and Christmas presents, etc. We explained what we were doing, and why, etc. The older girls are a bit better about their room now. The youngest two not so much. But as we go through and get rid of old, broken toys and just junk and toys they don't use or want any more, things will get easier for them to manage.

 

I think it is great your husband stuck to his word. But I am sorry your son had trouble with his friends. :001_huh:

[Erica in PA]

Yes, I know that is tough to watch, but I do hope that after a period, they will have another chance. I know that even as an adult, I hope I would be given another chance.

 

I threw some of Aaron's Legos away when he was younger because he left them on the floor (after repeated warnings). To this day, I regret it. His sets are now incomplete, and he is a responsible adult -- not perfect, but responsible. I think I could have taught the lesson just as well by restricting him from them for a period instead of being so radical about it.

 

 

:iagree: Personally I would not even let them *think* it was permanent. I would let them know it was temporary, and that they could earn them back when they've shown that they are more responsible with their things.

[Mom2boys]

So, DH is now packing away ALL things LEGO. Not just the LEGO toys, mind you... the LEGO magazines, the LEGO Wii games, and even the LEGO website has been blocked.

 

 

 

I envy you your Lego-free house, for however long it lasts. ;)

[elise1mds]

I have done that with my son a couple of times. There was one time he had flat-out lied to me about picking up his toys - repeatedly - in one evening. He said he had picked up, so I went in to check, and he hadn't. So I gave him a few more chances, and he kept coming out and lying about it. I finally drew the line and told him anything left out this time was going in a trash sack (note I did not say it would be thrown away). So he came out again and said he was done, and I went in there without a trash sack to check. Sure enough, tons of toys left out. I got the sack, and he panicked. I filled that sack about half-full and stuffed it into the back of a closet. He thought they were gone forever, but I gave him the sack back about three weeks later, and we have had fewer problems since. It can definitely be a useful tool!