Little kids and crushes--how do you handle it?

[melissel]

For the last few months, my DD6 has been talking about her "crushes." The objects are completely benign: her tween boy cousins, Matt from Cyberchase, Prince Alexander from the Veggietales movie (he's a leek, for pete's sake :lol:). At first I was a bit upset, because I'm not sure where this stems from and thought she was way too young. My DH finally pointed out that he had crushes on girls in kindergarten, and then I remembered kissing a boy and thinking we were going to get married in kindergarten :tongue_smilie:

 

So now I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to handle this! She's very public about it all, in her goofy 6-year-old way. She comes up with new ones periodically. I originally thought that if I mostly ignored it, it would stop, but it hasn't. I don't really want to encourage it, but I also don't want her to feel bad about her feelings... Ack! What have you done with this?

 

TIA!

[BabyBre]

Nothing. I treat it casually. If it's because he's "so cute", I say, "Yes, he is cute, isn't he?" It just aknowledges a fact (he has a pleasing face) and leaves any "crush" pressure off because it's natural to be drawn to pleasing faces. I don't encourage the word "crush" at all because I think that does put romantic pressure on it, but through the way I just mentioned, I let dd know that what she feels is completely natural because I/other people feel it, too.

 

I was anxious when my only dd got to the age when this started, too. The word "crush" made me very nervous because I thought she was FAR too young. I now feel she was just mistaking her feelings of being drawn to a pretty face or pleasing demeanor (in the case of cartoon vegetables!) and using a word she had heard somewhere for lack of any other articulation.

 

Dd is 8 now and in her second year of public school. Last year (her first year) I was very nervous about a "crush" she told me she had on a boy but, of course, it fizzled out. If she wanted to play with him after school, it was at our house. This year, the boys are oh so cute (And I agree, they are! They're 2nd graders!), but no more "crushes". :D

[swellmomma]

Ds5 claims he loves the little girl next door (she is 4) they are best friends, call each other sweetie and honey and say they are going to get married when they are grown up. I decided to handle it the same way I am handling the crushes the big kids have. We have started praying each night for God to protect the heart of the girl (or boy in my dd's case), that He wants my kids to marry. When ds talks about loving this girl, I say things like "It's so wonderful to have such a nice friend" etc. I know that her family is handling it much the same way, they are an LDS family and like me are teaching about courtship rather than dating, praying for God to protect the heart of future spouse etc.

 

I don't make a big deal out if it, just use it as a time to keep talking about our family's values etc. The only thing I have had to specifically talk to him about was kissing, they like to play house and be married but they both kept kissing each other on the cheek, I told him that in our family boys don't kiss girls unless that girl is their wife (or mom, sister, grandma), but that a hug was okay.

[elise1mds]

My DS6 is in private school this year and has had a "girlfriend" since October. Once in a while one or the other will make a Valentine for the other and bring it home, but I've never heard of them holding hands or trying to be romantic, and I just smile whenever he talks about her. Mostly they just act like close friends. He says that they're girlfriend/boyfriend simply because he is the only boy she will talk to. My friend's 4yo DD also really dotes on my son - she actually has a picture of him in her room and follows him around like a puppy when we get our kids together (this girl is also my daughter's best friend). Nobody has ever mentioned the word "crush" to them, and mostly they're all oblivious to their own actions. They like someone, so they spend time with them. Nothing really deep. My daughter has about half a dozen boys who would say that she's their "girlfriend," but if you ask her if she has a best boy friend (note the separation in words there), she'll tell you her best friend's 2yo brother, just because she sees him a lot. I'm not worried yet. Give it four or five more years, and THEN I'll start to worry!

[Tree House Academy]

Just be glad she has crushes on people who are NOT in your immediate family. LOL My 5.5 year old son tells my husband that he wants to marry ME when he grows up. :lol::lol:

[hillfarm]

When we were young, my younger brother had a crush in K. He was trying to tell my parents about how attractive this young lady was, and he had heard (probably on tv) something about how a set of numbers implied that a female was especially nifty. So he told them that she was 36.36.36 and three feet tall!

 

My mother said they nearly wet their pants trying not to crack up about this little barrel shaped person he had described.

 

With my 10yo dd, we have always maintained that you don't develop a special boy/girl relationship with anyone you are not interested in marrying. So far, at the ripe old age of 10, she has not yet found the right one.;)