Is your child like this?

[blessed2fosteradopt]

If so, what have you done, or are your currently doing, to combat it?

 

Here is the issue. My son (age 10, grade 5) completely lacks diligence. An example is, we just did an online reading assessment. I took a shower and left him to it. He was done in a flash and scored an independent reading level of 1st grade with an instructional level of 2nd grade. I sat by his side and had him redo it and he scored a 4th and 5th grade level respectively. Although by doing this assessment I learned he has a vocabulary deficit, there was a marked improvement when I was present.

 

I go through the very same thing with math. We work in Saxon. If I have him do a problem set on his own, lately, he is getting at least half of the problems incorrect. If I sit by his side (I do not offer any assistance) he gets almost all of them correct.

 

He also has a terrible time deciphering directions and he really struggles with word problems. For instance, he could not figure out the following word problem: The number that corresponds with point A is how much less than the number that corresponds with point B? When I explained the wording in detail he was easily able to figure the problem. I always have to go over directions thoroughly with him. If he reads them on his own, he often runs into problems.

 

On a personal level, he is very sloppy and disheveled all the time. His room is always a disaster, he is always missing things and has to be reminded of his tasks constantly. He will not take it upon himself to do anything that is required of him. For instance, he is not allowed to play outside until his poem is memorized. He has yet to pick it up on his own. I am done asking him to. I constantly have him redo assignments because of sloppiness. He also has a hard time following a three step command if not spoken to directly and without any background noise. I have tried charts and written reminders and unless I get on him he doesn't take it upon himself to follow them. We have taken away all kinds of priveleges

 

Having said all of this, he is ADHD. Do you think this is all a focus issue? I am not sure because he has scored average to above average in all his previous SAT tests (administered at his prior private school). Could there be an additional underlying issue? I do think part of it is behavioral but not sure to what degree. Getting him to do anything on an academic level is a chore for him. Any experience, suggestions?

 

Blessings,

 

Lisa

[amyable]

I can only respond to the first question, "Is your child like this?"

 

Yes!

 

My 11yo daughter is just like that, although I've seen some improvement in being able to do independent work in the past year.

 

She was recently "officially" diagnosed with ADHD, dyslexia, executive functioning problems, slight non-verbal learning disability. We are trying to figure out how to help her (I think I've got the dyslexia intervention under control but not the other stuff).

 

Hopefully some really wise person here will have lots of great advice - for both of us! LOL

:D

[blessed2fosteradopt]

Hi Amy:

 

Thanks for replying. Can I ask how your daughter was diagnosed? Was it through the school system or a private resource?

 

Hopefully, we can both benefit from this thread.

 

Blessings,

 

Lisa

[Katiebug_1976]

My 11 yo daughter has not been diagnosed with ADHD or anything, but this description about lack of focus and working better when I am beside her sounds really familiar. We switched from Saxon to Teaching Textbooks this year, hoping to motivate her to be a little more independent with her studies. Well, it backfired! We just recently switched back to Saxon, and I am now doing her lessons with her, however, I do require her to do the mixed practice on her own. She is doing much better with this, but she is this way in most subjects. She does great, even with out help, if I am physically beside her. She is very bright, but the lack of independent focus and motivation just isnt there. She is, so far, the only child out of our 5 that seems to struggle this way. I am completely at a loss as to how to help her.

[myfunnybunch]

You may want to check out this book from the library:

A Mind at a Time, Mel Levine

 

One of the Amazon reviews sums it up pretty well:

Levine defines eight specific mind systems (attention, memory, language, spatial ordering, sequential ordering, motor, higher thinking, and social thinking). Levine also incorporates scientific research to show readers how the eight neurodevelopmental systems evolve, interact, and contribute to a child's success in school. Detailed steps describe how mental processes (like problem solving) work for capable kids, and how they can be finessed to serve those who struggle. Clear, practical suggestions for fostering self-monitoring skills and building self-esteem add the most important elements to this essential--yet challenging--program for "raisin' brain."

 

I checked it out from the library long ago when someone on the old WTM board recommended it, and it was very helpful.

 

Cat

[Julie in Austin]

I think this is somewhat normal 10-yo-boy behavior, but what I've found helpful is for there to be a consequence for sloppy/unthoughtful/careless work.

 

For example, I'll assign half of the math problems and any that are missed require that the problem be corrected AND an additional problem be completed.

 

Or: if he doesn't read the directions properly, he'll have to copy the directions five times.

 

It seems to help.

 

I don't think it is reasonable for you to have to sit right next to him at that age. I'm weaning my 7-yo off of 'constant mom presence.'