~blessedmom~ Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 My husband is so stressed because of work......more responsibility, 10% reduction in pay across the board, layoffs in the company every week it seems. I know as the provider it weighs so heavily on him, and I listen and encourage as best I can. But we are fighting all the time! It is wearing on me so much, and I am completely tapped out. I am in my second year of homeschooling, I have a new baby, my hormones are on a rollercoaster, we have no family here, I am solely in charge of the education, cleaning, finances, grocery shopping and cooking, I teach at church.......**big sigh** I guess what I'm asking is if anyone can offer me some encouragement as to how to be a good supportive wife through all this when I feel so alone and utterly depleted.:001_unsure: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 :grouphug: No advice just hugs- Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I would ask him. "Honey, what do you need?" Maybe it's 30 minutes of quiet when he comes home so he can unwind. Maybe you could suggest he go for a walk or a run while you get supper on. I know my dh really thrives on PEACE at home. When he gets home, he likes the house to be somewhat orderly, no children fighting, and dinner done or nearly done. A calm, peaceful atmosphere. Once he's had some time to decompress, well, then the wrestling begins. But ask your dh how you could help him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanna Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I pm'd you :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5Youngs Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 My only advice is to talk to God, as much as you need to~ He is a safe place, and He'll never be too busy to hear you. We are in our 3rd month of unemployment, and I feel completely at peace. The month before the announcement was the hardest, because we dealt with all of the what-ifs and had too much time to think. ;) God is perfectly able to make your 90% stretch as far or further than your 100% did. And, He will bring people into your life that want to help you! Take heart~ John Eldredge's website http://www.ransomedheart.com was and is a HUGE support for my husband throughout this hard time. I was determined not to let this sour our family time. We kept positive, and God used the website to work on my husbands heart, and show him that he was not at fault or a failure. I had one really bad day, but it was a strong day for my husband. The first thing I did when I realized what was happening with me was to send out an email to my dearest friends and family, asking for them to cover me in prayer for that day. It passed and we are still waiting for Him to open the right doors for us. Hang in there~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~blessedmom~ Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 I thank you all for the virtual hugs, and the advice, and the messages, and the reminder to get down on my knees.....and not just for cleaning the floor!:001_smile: Sometimes I get so busy that I don't ask the Lord to get me through it.....and my own steam runs out pretty quickly! I truly appreciate your heartfelt words and the time you took out of your own busy days to encourage me. It's a beautiful thing to see God working through your tender hearts! Thank you! I'll be nursing the baby here in a few moments and putting her down to sleep, and then I will be spending some time with the Lord. Thank you, Ladies...I hope you know how much I truly appreciate your kindness!:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest janainaz Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I would cut out any extra committments. Right now, your own family is your ministry. It is so hard when you have all of that on your plate to feel like being encouraging to you dh. I know what that feels like. I handle all household stuff and he does not always get that I'm stressed, too. It stresses me out knowing he is stressed. I know I'm weak in this area - if my security is rocked, I'm a mess. However, my dh is very strong most of the time and he is my rock. I have to really force myself to remember the times when I'm worried about something or when I feel like I'm not doing enough, or not doing a good enough job, whatever it may be, he is very encouraging to me and very gracious. So, if you can cut out as much stress as you are capable, focus on what your top priorities are and any support you can offer your husband will mean a lot. If you can't offer support, do your best to at least keep your mouth shut (this last one I'm really writing for me:D). What my husband needs to hear when he's scared about his job is that I'd be willing to live in a cardboard box with him. Not that he wants to do that, but he just needs to hear that as long as we are all together - we'll be ok. My faith helps him carry his burden. My words allow him to take a few rocks out of his backpack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~blessedmom~ Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 I would give up the extra commitments myself, but he's the one who signed us up for teaching.......but I do all the teaching. We teach a large group because there aren't many who are willing to teach, so he is more of the "enforcer" in the classroom!!:001_smile: I did give up helping with Awana this year already. ....and I think I'm like you. I'm the one who gets stressed very easily. I know I have a lot on my plate, but mentally I think it weighs on me to the point to where I feel extremely overwhelmed. He can handle SO much at once--he even went to college full time while holding down his full time job as well and he was cool as a cucumber. Me--I took a few classes a few years back and I was mentally stressed about it all the time!!:blink: I love my husband very much, but he is very good at pointing out all my shortcomings. That just sits upon my chest and weighs me down even more...feeling like you're never good enough. I just want to be a good wife, and I appreciate all your words of encouragement and wisdom!! Thank you!!:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TX Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I love my husband very much, but he is very good at pointing out all my shortcomings. That just sits upon my chest and weighs me down even more...feeling like you're never good enough. I think you could really benefit from marriage counseling. if your husband won't go then go by yourself. This is just not a good way to feel and you can do something about it. Susan in TX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Pray together with your husband. Just a minute or two a day, at first. Then see where it leads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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