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Pets, how do you know when to let go?


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This has been a very difficult week for us.

 

Our one cat had developed these bumps on his cheek and jaw. We just had it confirmed that it is cancer. He's only 8 years old. My dd is devastated because he's mostly hers. The vet can't give a definite answer, but he has maybe 2-4 months.

 

Our dog's eyes had gotten blood-tinged and cloudy, and she wouldn't eat, so we took her in. Turns out she either has a system-wide infection or, more likely, lymphosarcoma. We haven't gotten the results of her biopsy yet, but the vet, after examining the cells himself, isn't very hopeful. If it is cancer, he's given her about 6-9 months. She actually does have a severe infection, but he believes it's secondary, which is apparently common with lymphomas. She's only 6 & 1/2 years old. Chemo is out for both. We just can't afford it.

 

So sometime in the next few months for sure, we will have to make that awful decision for our cat and, possibly not long after, for our dog. I've only had to do this once and it was very clear that the time had come. This time I'm afraid it's not going to be so clear. I cannot stand the thought of either of them suffering horrible pain and neither can my dh or dd. But how do you really know when?

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My dog is almost 14 and is becoming incontinent and walks badly on some surfaces. However, he's a happy boy and until that changes I'm tolerating his incontinence. It will be a sad time when he goes.

 

I won't pay huge vet bills to prolong life and I'm just assuming that when it's time, I'll know.

 

:grouphug: to you and your dd

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Paula,

 

I'm so sorry. Last spring I noticed that my beloved 13-year old yellow lab had what appeared to be an abscessed tooth...there was swelling in her muzzle/jowl just above the upper teeth. I took her in, and the vet said he wanted to do a biopsy. I was completely floored...I hadn't expected anything like that at.

 

When the biopsy results came in, my vet called. He was almost in tears himself, bless him. He loved Lucy as much as I did. It turns out that she had a very uncommon cancer in dogs, and it was untreatable. There was a type of chemo we could have tried (and it was extremely inexpensive... $20 or so every 6 weeks), but the side effects could have greatly diminished her quality of life. She was given anywhere from one to three months to live. She made it 8 weeks, and gradually went downhill. She still wagged and rolled over for us to love her, and her appetite never failed. But her breathing became extremely labored, and I could tell she was stressed...she started following me everywhere, panting and panting. It was very hard, but I knew it was time. I took her in and my vet said the cancer had spread to the point that her trachea was being squeezed. That night he put her down, and he, my dh, and I just cried. The good thing about that night is that Lucy was not stressed. She wagged until she went to sleep. She loved me and our vet was another favorite person of hers, so she was happy until the end.

 

Again, I'm sorry. I think you'll know when the time comes. I was so afraid that I wouldn't know, but in the end I did, without question.

 

Ria

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We got confirmation today that our dog, Cocoa, does have lymphoma. Even though we kind of expected it, it was still hard to hear.

 

My dh and I were a bit concerned all of this might make our dd change her mind about being a veterinarian someday, but it seems to have actually made her even more determined than before. She said she wants to help animals in all stages of life and health. We are so proud of her.

 

I do want to thank everyone for the advice and kind words. It was more helpful than I can possibly express in words.

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Once they are not wagging tails or purring, and their illness can't be cured with simple meds or a simple surgery. I'd consider an ongoing med like thyroid if the animal was very happy on them.

 

But, I know I let go of animals better than most people. I've seen so much death, and ugly, awful deaths (in a packed NYC hospital), I know there are things worse than death. When we have an animal as a pet, we buck nature. Pets live past the time they would have weakened and died in the wild. So, when in doubt, I go with nature's way, which is to let animals who aren't happy go, even if I am sad about it.

Edited by kalanamak
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