Anyone send an average student who is very disorganized off to college?

[Sonshine]

My 19 year old son has yet to graduate from homeschool high school. He completes 1 - 2 courses per semester. Whatever he takes at community college he does okay or even good in, but it is an academically easy college. He plans to finish his high school requirements (that remains to be seen) and leave for college in the fall. His top choice is a very small college of 100 students, with probably average academic standards. I feel like we have to let him go, as he sees his older and younger brothers go off to college, and his friends, and feels like a failure. He will get the work done for an outside class, but not for us. However, these are comparatively easy classes and he only takes one or two a semester. He loses important things like his ID and his books constantly, and has poor short term memory for tests, etc.

 

He does seek out talking with the professors and they all like him and develop a bond with him, and usually give him the benefit of the doubt grade wise (I don't know how else to explain some of his good grades). I hope if he goes to this small college, there aren't too many places to lose his books, the other students will drag him along to study groups, etc. The college also has a lot of the grades based on projects and reports, as well as some tests.

 

He seems very ADD to me, but he and his dad aren't willing to address that at this point. He also has very low iron, adrenals, etc. which we are giving him supplements for. He needs a ton of sleep. The doctor said that anyone would be exhausted who had his blood test results. But I think there is ADD besides those issues. His energy is improving, but we will keep increasing what supplements he takes, and hopefully it will increase more. I see a little increase in organizational abilities as his energy improves, but not a lot.

 

He has already failed in one situation and had to come home, although it was a very demanding boot camp type setting, which is different than a college. I don't want him to fail again. I hope he won't, but maybe he needs some experiences to realize what he needs to change. He is not interested in learning even very simple organizational techniques.

 

If any has had a similar student go off to college, and has any insights I would appreciate it. Thank you.

[Jean in Newcastle]

no experience with sending off a kid to college - mine are too young.

 

But - I can second your Dr's opinion on the effects of low iron and adrenal problems. I have both of those and it is so hard to get going.

 

Has his vitamin D levels been checked? My vitamin D levels were very low and it fed into my adrenal problems. With my low vitamin D levels I had a very hard time thinking, concentrating, and being organized.

 

Also has his thyroid been checked?

[Sonshine]

I'm not sure about his vitamin D - I'll find his test results and look. His TSH was below 1.5, can't remember exactly what. I have low thyroid, so that's the first thing I had checked. I have gone through the past posts (at least since the board changed) and printed out information about treating low adrenals. I haven't done a lot of it for him yet, but we just married off a son Saturday and now I have more time to track all of those supplements down.

If you have any information I would be glad to learn more.

What we have done so far has helped, but he's not there yet. I can't remember the name of the book, but there was one book that was recommended that I bought - I plan to get everything that doctor recommends. Have you found diet to help? The author of the book said orange juice was terrible for adrenal fatigue sufferers, and not to eat a lot of fruit. Does this sound right?

[SonshineLearner]

Sorry for you! I also kinda fear for our way smart...way not organized....student. BUT, she's almost an adult...she wants a job...it's easier to learn before it hits your wallet too hard, right?

 

Also, was he always like this, or did you see a change in the last few years?

 

Carrie

[Sonshine]

since puberty. Dh just wouldn't cooperate with any medical testing of him (long story).

[Sonshine]

That is, he required a lot of sleep since birth - which was a relief after his hyper brother. The fatigue wasn't an issue until puberty. He is able to keep up with other youth, and have an almost normal schedule, he's just tired and requires catching up on his sleep afterwards.

[MomOfOneFunOne]

I was an average student in high school with high test scores but low to average grades. I am the most disorganized person I know. It's so bad it causes me some pain and makes my daughter want to go to school for some structure and organization. really.

 

I imagine no one ever thought that when I left high school I'd even go to college. I did, of course, and not only did I go but I really found my intellectual niche. I graduated with a 4.0, Summa cum laude, First in my class for undergrad and 4.0, student of the year for grad school. I loved college. I was a piss-poor high-school student but a grand college student.

 

you never know.

[MamaT]

My second son was this way, always losing things, etc. He also requires a lot of sleep. Sometimes on Fridays, after a full week, he would go to sleep at 3:00 p.m. and wake up on Saturday at noon. He is a very bright boy, though, and academically gifted.

 

When he joined the Marine Corp, I worried a lot about this. The consequences for being scatter-brained would be much worse than anything he had ever experienced. He has gotten much better, but did tell me he has had to have the lock cut off his gear locker three times because he keeps losing the key!

 

At some point, they have to take responsibility. I'm sure your son (maybe after several painful lessons) will find his own way to cope.

[Sonshine]

they are encouraging. If he was above average smart, I wouldn't worry as much. He has had the benefit of homeschooling and is smart, just not super smart. I do think that if he covered the material, even haphazardly (sp?), he could get at least a C on tests. He just puts things off, and may not have the time left to cover it when he kicks into gear the day before a test. That is if he can find his books and class notes, which he doesn't even keep in one notebook. Oh well, most colleges have at least a one semester probationary period to try to recover from a bad semester. If that happens, maybe he will have gotten his wake up call, and be motivated enough to realize that he needs to implement some organizational techniques to compensate for his ADD tendencies. He'll have the second semester to try to redeem himself.

 

I so appreciate your stories. The locker key sounds like my son. If the Marines gave him grace, surely a Bible college will give my son grace.

 

MomofOneFunOne - Wow - I'm proud of you. I should remember my cousin whose main goal in high school was to skip as many classes as possible. When she announced she was going to college and majoring in education, we were very doubtful. But she did well, got a masters too, and teaches at a community college. I should be encouraged that most people with a decent upbringing get serious about life at some point, find their motivation, and do what it takes to suceed in life.

 

Any more stories or advice?