If your kids have AIM, do you read it?

[Perry]

I'm wondering what your boundaries are. Is reading your child's AIM/email/texting different than, say, reading what they wrote in a diary? I'm a little conflicted about privacy vs. safety and wonder how others are dealing with this.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I generally DON"T read any of those things but I reserve the right to. They know I could. The computers are in a common area so easy enough to glance regularly.

 

I do think it is different than a diary. Group activity is different than what one says to himself. Also, online allows for strangers (or near strangers) to have a level of intimacy almost nothing else allows. Those two characteristics of chatting online (IMing, emailing, texting, message boards, etc) change the dynamic.

 

But none of this has been an issue for my family. If I had any concern, I'd definitely read over their shoulders, read IM logs, and/or restrict usage. My children's safety is more important at this stage in their lives.

 

ETA after reading below: My kids often read over my shoulder when I'm on the board or IM or reading emails. If I don't want them to, I simply tell them so and then go about my business.

 

However, I do not believe children automatically have the same right to privacy. It is my job to protect, guide, teach, and correct them and if I believe there is an issue, I'd rather step on their privacy than miss my opportunity to do my job before they were seriously harmed, possibly fatally.

 

Of course, most of the time, kids are talking about mundane things we parents couldn't care much less about. But too many parents are finding out way late that their kids are doing and talking about WAY more.

Edited December 21, 2008 by 2J5M9K

[PinkInTheBlue]

I have the right and have exercised that right to read any email, IM, text, etc I feel it's my obligation.

[Tammy]

I feel if they are conversing with someone....it isn't any of my business.... It would be the same as listening in on a phone conversation...

 

My kids don't read my conversations on AIM.....nor listen in on phone conversations.....and I wouldn't do that to them.

 

.

[SonshineLearner]

YES! I don't want to be caught off guard by something like my daughter having "Text S*x" My friend just realized that her daughter was doing all kinds of stuff with her texting and calls.

You tend to feel more comfortable saying stuff on the phone or imming.

I've gone through and looked at my daughter's texting, and my other daughter's bio dad just informed me that he got her a cell phone for Christmas. URGH! I saw someone say that their children's phones had to be charging in the parent's bedroom at night. I think we'll do that, too.

Carrie:-)

[Lizzie in Ma]

My 12 year old has email and she knows I reserve the right to check up on it.

[Peek a Boo]

I generally DON"T read any of those things but I reserve the right to. They know I could. The computers are in a common area so easy enough to glance regularly.

 

I do think it is different than a diary. Group activity is different than what one says to himself. Also, online allows for strangers (or near strangers) to have a level of intimacy almost nothing else allows. Those two characteristics of chatting online (IMing, emailing, texting, message boards, etc) change the dynamic.

 

But none of this has been an issue for my family. If I had any concern, I'd definitely read over their shoulders, read IM logs, and/or restrict usage. My children's safety is more important at this stage in their lives.

 

ETA after reading below: My kids often read over my shoulder when I'm on the board or IM or reading emails. If I don't want them to, I simply tell them so and then go about my business.

 

However, I do not believe children automatically have the same right to privacy. It is my job to protect, guide, teach, and correct them and if I believe there is an issue, I'd rather step on their privacy than miss my opportunity to do my job before they were seriously harmed, possibly fatally.

 

Of course, most of the time, kids are talking about mundane things we parents couldn't care much less about. But too many parents are finding out way late that their kids are doing and talking about WAY more.

 

 

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