almondbutterandjelly Posted January 31, 2022 Share Posted January 31, 2022 It has been an eventful few months. We downsized from our house of 22 years back in September and moved into a third floor apartment. We love it, and now there are no worries about how will I maintain the place if dh goes before me (he is 15 years older). But... my parent declined a whole dang lot since summer, and mom died in October. Dad had more money than I thought, and we were able to put him in Assisted Living. I cannot tell you how wonderful they have been for him. He may truly live another ten years (he is 80). He sees a nurse every day. He sees a doctor every week (they come to the Assisted Living location). They manage all of his medications. He gets very regular physical therapy in-house multiple times a week. He is showered three times a week. They do his laundry. He eats in the dining room and has made friends (they very sneakily charge extra to get a tray delivered to your room and it's about 2 hours after meals usually start, so he only did that once, the first day. Ha ha it forces him to walk down the two corridors to the dining room and to interact with people). He is walking better. He is no longer in decline. It is such a relief. We have been so busy with all of that. The paperwork alone has been a lot. (People, sign the Right to Survivorship on all your car titles!! And make sure it is in your housing paperwork!!) (and order a dozen death certificates at the time because it will cost a lot more later!!). Then we had to clean out his house (mom was kind of a hoarder). We literally rented a dumpster. Dh tried to get rid of what he could through Facebook Marketplace but people are so flaky. My brother, who lived with them and is in all likelihood on the autism spectrum, has been moved into our apartment complex. We are still getting him sorted, but he is mostly unpacked. And the house is finally completely emptied of ALL THE STUFF. And we are selling it for a good price to a flipper. The end is in sight! Anyway, that's me. I did want to make sure you all heard about Assisted Living. It's been so fantastic for him. No bad smells anymore (they make him change clothes regularly and those 3 showers a week and the housekeeping and the laundry). And medically, so so so good for him. Just unbelievably good. He has Parkinson like symptoms, probably from a stroke. But mentally he's pretty good except he doesn't really like to make decisions. Our family has really rallied together during this time. It's been wonderful in that way as well. 26 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted January 31, 2022 Share Posted January 31, 2022 I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom, but I’m glad to hear that your father is in such good hands—and that your personal life changes have proven to be positive. Thanks for the cheery news today about his assisted living facility—we all need to hear more good stories! I hope you can take some time to rest and process after your whirlwind and stressful time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 31, 2022 Share Posted January 31, 2022 Wow, that is wonderful. So your brother is able to live alone with some assistance with you nearby? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted January 31, 2022 Share Posted January 31, 2022 Sounds like you guys have made the best of a hard situation. The AL facility sounds like a great fit for him. Best wishes getting the rest of it sorted out! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almondbutterandjelly Posted January 31, 2022 Author Share Posted January 31, 2022 22 minutes ago, Scarlett said: Wow, that is wonderful. So your brother is able to live alone with some assistance with you nearby? Yes. He is very high functioning. He had the bulk of the elder care with my parents the last few years since he lived with him, and so he routinely loads the dishwasher and does laundry and takes out the trash and grocery shops and pays bills. I told him the easiest way to keep his apartment tub clean, and he just did that, so yay! (House tub was gross). We are helping him with things like hanging curtains and making maintenance requests and unpacking and just thinking through things that come up. We have started a routine of having him over for dinner and games or movies at our place on Saturday nights and now he cooks at his place for us on Sunday nights. He visits my dad absolutely every day. it's a positive change for him. He also now gets to spread out all his stuff into more than one tiny little bedroom that he had at the house. He has many video games and books and anime figurines. He also is enjoying furniture shopping (with me to assist). He does have a full time job in computers. And his move to our apartment complex cut his commute down to five minutes or so. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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