Some people... vent...

[gardenmom5]

Like to arrange other people's lives..

We're out of town for mil's funeral.  Actually,  were on the road, as it's a 12hr drive. Supposedly one of dh's cousins,  with whom he's never had a relationship, wants to meet Saturday night.   Sil, the busybody, is arranging things to her liking.  Dh told her a week ago, that wouldn't work. Dh has little respect for this cousin, and no interest in spending time outside of already scheduled events.

Saturday will be a long day, and we'll see him at the funeral,  the  meal, the picnic the next day, etc.  

 We're spending  the evening with our family (including my out of state grandson)  Sil demanded I tell her what we will be doing, in the specific. No, I don't think I will.  I found it very presumptuous. Very typical of her.  

I try to have kinder thoughts, then she does stuff like this. 

This is the woman who read one book on asd and think she understands it.

[gardenmom5]

I've now received texts, how she "doesn't mean to be obnoxious, and I should be available because my dd/baby has "other " plans sat. Night.  Dh spoke directly with cousin,  and said sat night doesn't work. He'll see him at funeral and surrounding events. I was direct to her about why is she in the middle of this? 

She's told cousin we're going to specific restaurant.   Her, I would expect to just show up,  without notice, if she felt like it..  I've no idea what the cousin will do.

[Shoeless]

This is part of why I rarely head back to my home state. Once the relatives hear I am planning a trip, suddenly plans that depend on my participation are made and I am a big meanie for not going a long with those plans.  What am I doing (stuff), why can't they come (reasons), cousin-so-and-so is in town and don't you want to see them (no).  Everything is a group activity with that bunch.  No one operates independently.  Exhausting!

Hang tough!  And I am sorry to hear of your MILs passing.  Much sympathy for you in what is a tough time!

[kiwik]

It doesn't work can imply you want to but can't so people try and make it work.  Problem is you can't really be honest and say you don't want to see him.

[gardenmom5]

2 minutes ago, kiwik said:

It doesn't work can imply you want to but can't so people try and make it work.  Problem is you can't really be honest and say you don't want to see him.

Dh will see him other times.   It's his sister's meddling, not just this.  She volunteers people for things, without bothering to check with them first and doesn't care if it fits their schedule. When they say no, she gets put out.

[Shoeless]

Well, then let her be put out.  It will give her something to do, lol. 

[SKL]

I would probably be glad to be included in local activities if I were traveling in, but I'd rather it be an invitation than a direction.

My worst instance of "being told" was when a half-cousin whom I'd never before met informed me that his whole family was coming to my house for dinner the following day.  PS I do not cook, but he wouldn't know that, would he?  I would have rather been informed that I was going to their house for dinner!

[gardenmom5]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

I would probably be glad to be included in local activities if I were traveling in, but I'd rather it be an invitation than a direction.

My worst instance of "being told" was when a half-cousin whom I'd never before met informed me that his whole family was coming to my house for dinner the following day.  PS I do not cook, but he wouldn't know that, would he?  I would have rather been informed that I was going to their house for dinner!

My brother was staying at our house for Christmas with his wife and two kids.  For at least a week.   Dh and I were working on dinner, and my mother told him dinner would be late - so they all took off for a restaurant. 30 minutes later, we're dishing up and wondering where they all went...

Just one thing that made me say, never again.