Am I being petty?

[JustEm]

1 hour ago, bethben said:

She remembers multiple piano students and what they are learning, when they are coming, if they did their lessons, how many weeks they forgot to do their lessons, and when she has to teach piano at a school.  She remembers when she has to play organ at various churches and details about how much they paid her last time and nuances about each church she plays at.  She remembers details of when she has to be helping with nieces and nephews and minor details about grandchildren and what classes they are taking in school.  What special formula the newest grandchild is taking and how long it’s taken my brother to paint his house.  I know this because she tells me all this type of stuff on the phone.  No, she just forgot me.

 

If this is a regular occurrence I'd be inclined to just walk away from the relationship.  If she chooses to continue it then  be receptive but don't put energy into initiating for a long time. Sadly, I've had to do this with my sister who moved 900 miles away from everyone else years ago.  I used to call her about once a month and we would end up talking for at least an hour, sometimes longer.  But I realized that it was only me initiating the calls, add that into some additional baggage that has stopped me from visiting her, I just decided to stop calling.  I would be happy to talk to her if she called me, but it has been over a year and she hasn't.  So now our relationship is 2 weeks when she visits in the summer and nothing more.  It hurts but I try not to let it bother me.  My kids talk to her kids on the phone daily, which makes me happy knowing they can maintain relationships with their cousins without my help.  I miss my sister though.

[mom@shiloh]

On 9/18/2018 at 9:39 PM, bethben said:

I broke down and called my mom. I made mention to her that I thought she would have called by now to see how I was doing.  She admitted that she had completely forgotten about me.  Sigh...  she did say that she would make a better effort.  We’ll see.

I'm sorry.

[shawthorne44]

On 9/19/2018 at 12:02 PM, bethben said:

She remembers multiple piano students and what they are learning, when they are coming, if they did their lessons, how many weeks they forgot to do their lessons, and when she has to teach piano at a school.  She remembers when she has to play organ at various churches and details about how much they paid her last time and nuances about each church she plays at.  She remembers details of when she has to be helping with nieces and nephews and minor details about grandchildren and what classes they are taking in school.  What special formula the newest grandchild is taking and how long it’s taken my brother to paint his house.  I know this because she tells me all this type of stuff on the phone.  No, she just forgot me.

 

I think this might have been what was at the core of what bugged my dad.   Even when my dad called his dad, the conversation revolved around other (obviously more important) people.   

 

[bethben]

30 minutes ago, shawthorne44 said:

 

I think this might have been what was at the core of what bugged my dad.   Even when my dad called his dad, the conversation revolved around other (obviously more important) people.   

 

 

Yes this-  even when I called her, I had to make an effort to steer the conversation to how my foot was doing.  I wanted her to know.  She didn't ask right away and talked about everyone around her first.  My mother-in-law called me today just to ask how I was doing.  She has less people swirling around her though.  It's just disappointing to know what you thought was accurate in your estimation of relationship is truth.