son who cries during every math time

[jenniferlee]

What would you suggest for my 8yo son who cannot get through one math lesson without breaking down and crying? We used to use saxon and switched to singapore because of this problem. It seemed to help a little, this was 2 years ago, but now it is just as bad as ever. He has severe adhd, and I'm at the end of my rope with him. He truly seems unable to concentrate, is distracted by everything, yet I can't send him in the other room because he needs my constant help and explanations. He is extremely bright and I have no doubts about his ability in math, but he insists everything is "too hard" and he "just can't do it". I'm at such a loss.

Thanks,

Jennifer

[Pongo]

I think Mastering Mathematics. I use it as a supplement but, I do know some use it as a basal math program. Games are played to apply the concpt and it's not really workbookie. It looks similar to Math on the Level but it has a TON of games with the program. :D

[Cheryl in NM]

Ds was like this somewhat. I dramatically slowed our math lessons. We used Saxon at the time so I broke each lesson into 3 or 4 parts. That helped for awhile, but then the same thing happened. So I shelved Saxon. We took a break from formal math; we used flashcards and games. When we went back to Saxon I was amazed at what ds picked up. Since then I'll take mini-Saxon breaks and every time there's a leap of understanding. I think ds just needs a break from the structure to process what he's learning. I thought about trying some of the more "hands on" math programs, but ds hates those so we just played games.

 

I think a big thing to remember when homeschooling and it applies to any subject is that is doesn't matter how far you get in the book. What matters is your child learns to learn. Yes, some things are boring to learn to some people. So you teach your child to put one foot in front of the other. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Sometimes we just need to take smaller bites and get a drink in between them.

[laurad1125]

We've had similar issues with ds (age 9) in math and writing. One thing I've done is involve him in selecting his curriculum. It certainly hasn't resolved the problem, but I think it does help. We were at the homeschool store just Tuesday where he selected a new curriculum. I explained some of the differences among the choices and he made a choice. This isn't something we do often, obviously, but we've done it in other subjects as well. I've explained to him that I'll do everthing thing I can to choose materials that cover what needs to be covered in the least painful way. After that he just has to kind of suck it up.... It's worked for us...

[Cindy in WA]

Some questions to think about:

 

How long are the lessons? A child who has a hard time focusing can only tolerate so much, especially at 8yo. Short lessons or short segments of lessons would be important.

 

Do you allow him to move while he does math? This was hard for me. I need quiet and stillness to concentrate. But some people have to move in order to open their brains to absorb information. He may need to wiggle or take a minute to stand & move as he studies or march or spin circles, etc. Also, in between short lessons, I learned that time outside to run and move was a great investment into the next subject.

 

How hands-on is your math program? Does he need to touch and feel something to understand it? If so, just add in some beans or legos to help him feel what he's learning.

 

Teaching a child who struggles with focusing is difficult. Remember that he views his world much differently than many of us. He will most likely grow up to do something that requires movement.

 

Our son is nineteen, has not been to college and probably won't go or may possibly go to a short technical training course but only after a few more years of maturity.

 

Employers love him. He is so high energy that he can work nearly anyone else into the ground. He thrives on long, physically challenging work days. He is learning many, many skills through hands-on experience including surveying. To learn trigonometry in a textbook would not have happened, but seeing it in the field as he came to understand surveying helped him learn.

 

I completely understand how frustrating this can be. I wished I had learned sooner that our son was never going to learn like I do and tried to adjust to help him learn what he needed his way. Remember he is not broken, just different. He has certain skills he must learn in life, proper behaviour being one of the most important. Pick and choose your battles. Math is important, but know that he may not conquer math to the degree that some people do. That's ok, it's who he is. If you need to simplify, then do so. Because learning in traditional methods can be so difficult, it is a daily challenge. Don't let school ruin your relationship with your son. Find balance.

 

One thing I wished I had tried that people had suggested to me, was a curriculum like ACE PACES. No, this is not a classical education, but because it is broken into small increments, has constant review, and obvious beginning and ending each day, it really might be a great tool at least for some subjects. When your son is in junior high, check into Paradigm Accelerated Curriculum. I'm impressed with this curriculum for children who struggle. I know several people who have used it with great success.

 

HTH

Cindy

[TKs]

I have a son who likes to melt down in math.

 

We are taking a break from a formal math curriculum at the moment and using this book.

 

Marvel Math Grade 2

 

The pages have all kinds of super heroes on them and you get a sticker to place on each page that you complete.

 

We are also using math in everyday situations. Shopping/cooking/reading.

[MIch elle]

until he matures a bit and stops the crying. Then ease back into him doing some problems alone. Have him do 2 problems alone( with you watching), then do 2 problems WITH you (even if you have to write the problems for him)alternating like this until he's tired. Increase the problems - 3 by himself, 3 with you, etc.

[Lori D.]

We had so many meltdowns and blow ups with our younger son (impulsive, wiggly, mildly ADD, very visual-spatial learner, does not connect with abstract math concepts) in math in those early elementary years. Similar to what several others ladies have already mentioned, things that helped:

 

- short math lessons

- lots of manipulatives

- math games (Monopoly for $$/making change; Sequence Dice for adding; etc.)

- intersperse short burst of learning with physical release (trampoline, scooter, big bouncy ball, running, etc.)

- set aside the main math program (for a day/week/month) when a concept is not getting through and do something else (booklet and manipulative combo like Discovering Math Through Pattern Blocks)

- exposure to math concepts through computer games (Math Blaster, Clue Finder, Mighty Math)

- patience; the math portions of his brain are developing/maturing in HIS own timing

 

 

We tried Singapore in 2nd grade and it was too fast and too abstract for him. We tried Saxon in 3rd grade and it was too overwhelming -- too much on a page, too many concepts at once. We finally found Math-u-See in 5th grade, and it was an excellent match for him:

 

- only a few problems per page

- we watch the video together (so we learn together, rather than me be the "bad guy" teacher)

- very visual between the video and the manipulatives

- as needed we would set MUS aside and do some other math booklet with a manipulative (Miquon can be a good choice, as you can pick and choose what topic to cover, depending on what your son needs reinforcement in, or if your son needs a completely different topic).

 

 

Hang in there, Jennifer! It will all work out. Just to encourage you, our son was 2 grades behind in math in elementary school; now in 9th he is doing Algebra -- right on track with about half of our nation's students. : ) He just needed to take it in his own timing (and with a program that connected for him). BEST of luck in finding what works for your family. Warmest regards, Lori D.

Edited November 6, 2008 by Lori D.
added info

[Guest]

Look at Touchmath

[cillakat]

I'd talk to his psych about switching meds to deal appropriately wtih the distractability/attention component. Since everyone reacts differently, some do better with one med v. another.

 

Without appropriate medication (timing, dose etc) we just *can't* do math, reading and writing. Just isn't going to happen. More time is spent crying v anything else.

 

For my dd 9.5 yo(64 lb), the answer has been generic adderall, 7.5 mg every 4h 15 min. Focalin was a disaster (though many love it), concerta was a disaster (though many love it), vyvanse was a disaster (though many love it).....it's just so individual.

 

Without meds, or with the wrong ones the failures are frequent.... the successes are few and far between. With meds, we can do schoolwork and she can experience success daily and multiple times per day. What a difference this makes. It's not a panacea and there is still much other work we do to manage the adhd (intense exercise daily, multiple times per day), lots of sleep, orthomolecular treatment (vitamins, minerals, amino acids, efa's) etc etc.

 

All the best,

katherine

[jenniferlee]

wow, thanks so much for the suggestions and support! I really to remember not ruin our relationship over this - I get so insistent that we have to get through the book. I will look at some of those programs and I think maybe just taking a little break and doing some games or something might be a good idea. It's so hard to see your child struggle so much when you know how smart he is, yet it's not going to do any good to make him hate me and math. I think I have resisted changing or stopping because I don't want to "give in", I keep thinking he'll just grow out of it, but he's obviously only getting worse.

And to answer a few questions, it's the distractions in the room that get to him. Also, I do almost every problem with him, sitting there talking through each step, saying over and over "look at the page, look at the next problem, stop crying, you can do it", etc. So you can see why I am getting frustrated :)

thanks again,

Jennifer

[Tiramisu]

Oh, you really have my sympathy. I've been there but not to the degree you're experiencing.

 

:grouphug:

 

I tried several math curriculum with dd and had crying everyday until we found ABeka. I feel shy about telling people this or recommending it since it's not a favorite around here, but it really saved our math lives. It was completely unexpected but I decided to try it in desperation and it worked. The key to it was the COLOR! From experimenting, I've found that color makes all the difference with this child. It's weird but it works. Color works across the curriculum. I know this isn't the solution for everyone but I thought I would throw this out to you in case it might help. You would think that color might distract a child, but it actually helps my dd focus.

 

For what it's worth....:001_smile:

[apond]

I am going through a similar problem and here is what is working for us. I just shelved all the formal math books and am doing more of a living math type program at this point. I had to let go of my "gotta finish the book" attitude. I bought several booklets and I have checked out every book form the library about what we are studying. Yesterday I was reading a book "Life of Fred" to my kids and my son ( who is the worst) just went ahead and figured out the problems in the story all by himself and then declared it to be so easy. If it had been a formal math problem he would have melted and taken forever to finish the problems. My goal with doing this was to get back to his origanal love of learning especailly for math. It was becomming to much of a chore and I don't want that. Then it gets to be hard for me as well. Good Luck.

 

Annmarie

 

ds 10

dd 8

dd 6

ds 2

ds 2

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

Each child is unique, but when my DD cried every day in math, we switched her to MUS...

MUS fitted her learning style like a glove. It's been magical for us.