mamagina7 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Let's see if I can keep this brief...Four of our five daughters still live at home, are being homeschooled, help run our business and range in ages 9-18. They are a real blessing to their father and me. I am not interested in raising daughters who know the right answers, go to church faithfully every Sun., etc. but pray that they will love God with all of their being. Does anyone practice certain disciplines that are tried and true that help bring spiritual sensitivity, love for God and love for neighbor. I know that this is very broad and general, but I have finished reading the biography of St. Therese and I am baffled how these parents raised 5 loving and devoted daughters! Thanks for your time and consideration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Keep in mind my kids are still young so I'm far from having all the answers, but I feel that in studying families that have successfully raised kids that are walking with the Lord, and reading what the bible says, that parents have to reach their kid's hearts. Not simply getting them to go through the motions of obedience and compliance, but really tapping into who they are as people and setting their heart right. I believe the best way to do this is to talk to them constantly. Teaching them the commandments, teaching them about God's love for them, By letting them know that you love them, by holding them to right standards of obedience without being legalistic. By hearing them and treating them as real people and not simply waving our fingers at them about right and wrong. And most importantly would be to be a good example to them. To show them that you are as dedicated as you hope them to be. By showing them that you read your bible daily, that you're in constant prayer, that you live what you preach basically. And pray pray pray for them, daily. That's what I believe will lead to having children who's hearts are turned toward God, not in some superficial way, but in a real and meaningful way. These are my greatest hopes for my kids. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 NIV 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Once Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 This is great question and one that I could be asking myself regarding my dd. One of the things that I think we as humans depend on a little too much is outward behavior to feel secure in our Lord. We forget that God sees the heart of all our behavior and calls it like rags compared to what He has to offer. My thoughts on this....we need to practice devotion to God ourselves if we want our children to devote themselves to Him. Giving up outward rules and setting our relationship with Him as primary. There is no curriculuum to be purchased. I see as I write this what a hugely broad undertaking this is. But what is impossible with man is possible with God. Gives you a sense of security knowing this truth. Rereading your post....any spiritual practices which bring this attitude to fruitition....certainly reflecting on what God wants from us, daily prayer and action based on His leading. All of these things again reflect the first idea which is devote yourself to God and your children will see and follow. My apologies, I am pondering out loud. Thank-you for posting this. What an encouragement to think of these things! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 The best way I have found for myself is studying scriptures which explain God's personality. Power Justice Wisdom Love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Once Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Keep in mind my kids are still young so I'm far from having all the answers, but I feel that in studying families that have successfully raised kids that are walking with the Lord, and reading what the bible says, that parents have to reach their kid's hearts. Not simply getting them to go through the motions of obedience and compliance, but really tapping into who they are as people and setting their heart right. I believe the best way to do this is to talk to them constantly. Teaching them the commandments, teaching them about God's love for them, By letting them know that you love them, by holding them to right standards of obedience without being legalistic. By hearing them and treating them as real people and not simply waving our fingers at them about right and wrong. And most importantly would be to be a good example to them. To show them that you are as dedicated as you hope them to be. By showing them that you read your bible daily, that you're in constant prayer, that you live what you preach basically. And pray pray pray for them, daily. That's what I believe will lead to having children who's hearts are turned toward God, not in some superficial way, but in a real and meaningful way. These are my greatest hopes for my kids. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 NIV 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. :iagree: Wise words. Wise words. I like the comment on not being legalistic. There is no better way to kill a love of God than to smash it down their throats. The act of courage comes from knowing that they have a free will and *may* choose to live outside of God's family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tricia Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 This is a broad subject. And the fact that I have 9 daughters with 4 grown does NOT make me an expert. Only makes me one with experience. Our eldest walks with the Lord. She is married with 2 small children. Our next daughter is a 'good' girl but is struggling with her testimony. Although I don't think she is too far from commitment. She is 21. The next 2 of the older girls are 19 and 18. They are both committed to the Lord and are wonderful young women as is the 21 yo. But like I said our 21yo is struggling with truths but she toes the line well with her behavior. Now, to look at these 4 grown girls we are seeing where our weak spots have been and are working to improve these with the 5 youngers. They are 10 year old twins, 8,6,2. I agree too that spending much time in conversation with our girls is a must. And spiritual conversations. Hopefully they will come naturally during the course of the day. This we have done with all our children and have seen great benefits. Daddy/daughter activities are a MUST. Even small things. My dh takes our girls with him to cut wood, rake leaves, on walks, etc. In our experience we have found that the relationship between daddy and daughter is crucial. Daddy must have her heart. Our eldest was always crazy busy growing up it seemed and her daddy/daughter relationship didn't flourish nearly as well as the others and we can see that. But I am amazed at how the other's want to please daddy with all their hearts and that has been crucial in their walk with the Lord and their journey through this world. Doug Phillips from http://www.visionforum.com has tons of resources to help with a dad and a daughter finding a Godly relationship together. This is getting long but feel free to email me if you have any questions about resources you may find as we have used quite a few. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I have really appreciated Sally Clarkson's phrase, "sympathize with your childs heart." We know a lot of homeschool families that are very legalistic and their kids seem to be either rebellious or boring. I don't want my kids growing up with formulas for living- I want them to encounter the Living, breathing, spirit of the Most High. I've had to let go of some of my desire for privacy and let my kids see me interact spiritually, being humble, being worshipful, being discipled, praying wholeheartedly, praying desperatly, really clinging to God when I felt despair, crying tears of joy over answered prayers and petitions. We've done family prayers for years. This has required us all to be transparent, humble and honest. We have collectively petitioned God for answers to difficult questions together, have searched the scriptures for reponses (Joy Dawson's "Ruined Forever from the Ordinary" is a great read). Raising children to listen and respond to God has required sacrifice on my part because He becomes the ultimate authority in their lives, not us. My older dd has gone and will continue to go to E.Europe. She has a whole 'nother life there. It's been hard to let her go. We've invested years in her, made sacrifices for her and love and like her!! Despite that (maybe because of it?) God has called her to work thousands of miles away from us. Not my first choice. We have, as a family, tried to demostrate sacrificial love over the years- "creating Christmas" for widows or divorced women when our kids wouldn't be getting much themselves. Sending boxes to missionary families that required us giving up extra food dollars, working on campaigns, creating co-ops and educational opportunities for other homeschoolers that think they just appear out of nowhere, working for ministries. In all of those opportunities my kids have seen that poeple are people are people (including us!). No one is worthy of a pedestal. People are fallen and disspointing so our motive better be to serve God and not man -kwim. One more thought: life is short. Our time together might be fleeting so we try to let each other that we love and appreciate each other and believe in the best for one another- that God has a specific plan and purpose for each one of our lives and we look with anticipation to the fullfillment of that. Best Regards as you love your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I've had to let go of some of my desire for privacy and let my kids see me interact spiritually, being humble, being worshipful, being discipled, praying wholeheartedly, praying desperatly, really clinging to God when I felt despair, crying tears of joy over answered prayers and petitions. We've done family prayers for years. This has required us all to be transparent, humble and honest. We have collectively petitioned God for answers to difficult questions together, have searched the scriptures for reponses Wonderful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamagina7 Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 You all have given very encouraging words. Our oldest 2 are out of the house now and they have been a bit heart breaking. I think it will turn out okay, but Ido see where we have missed the marks. I say "marks" because there is so much inivolved in raising children. We have raised them in a chrisitan home, been missionaries, been on church staff-leading youth groups, Bible studies, outreach to peoplein the community...we've done it all...so I must ask myself where did we go wrong. It is okay to ask this question due to the fact that 5 others are still with us. We don't want repeats of the first two. I think I couldwrite a book called, "What NOT TO DO when raising children!":001_huh: Well, I could go on forever, but I must get busy. Thank you for your encouragement and the bottom line that I received from you is that it all must come from the heart. I hope I am not going on too long, but let me say that we did all of our "reaching out" from our hearts, we loved our children from our hearts, we prayed from our hearts, but I think one of the areas where we dropped the ball is: really talking to our children and getting their hearts. Sound familiar? We thought we had their hearts, but we've been learning from this mistake. I'll stop so I don't take too much of your time. Thanks ladies. Any other ideas are welcome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 As far as our faith goes, we believe that God doesn't have any grandchildren. Each of us need to make our own decision regarding what Jesus Christ did on the cross. My children have had what the Bible says on the issue explained to them but we have left that decision up to them (even if we coerced them into deciding I believe that it wouldn't "count" unless it was their own decision). Both of my children believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for their personal sins. I believe that gives them a personal relationship with God that is eternal. But I want that relationship to be one that is as rich as it can be this side of heaven (the Bible calls it abundant). Again, I can explain certain things to my children (how to confess their sins to God when they sin, how to pray to God for help etc., how to learn and trust in God's promises to us) but they have to plug those things into their soul for it to be real for them. At this time my children are making wonderful choices as we model them, talk them over and help make the issues clear to them. But they can turn away from what we've taught them at any time. If they do so, we will be sad and will pray for them but unless they are still minors at that time and are violating specific house rules, we will not/can not legislate what they believe or how they relate to God. But we will continue to model what we believe for our children and will talk honestly with them (but without shaming, guilt-trips) about issues. I hope that our lives, our transparency and our honesty will encourage our children to pursue a rich abundant relationship with God. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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