S/o Killing Facebook - Why I Love Facebook!

[Guest]

If you wouldn't consider them "safe" to be around in real life, then why are some on your Facebook in the first place?

 

Safe? Are you related to the mafia or something?

 

I don't even know any "unsafe" people, to my knowledge. I do know people who blather on about nonsense or post excessive political memes, but oh well, let them. Some of them only have Facebook to talk to, so what's it to me?

You've never been friendly with someone but had it turn antagonistic? I have. Voila! A situation where I would block someone whom I use to consider a friend.

[TranquilMind]

You've never been friendly with someone but had it turn antagonistic? I have. Voila! A situation where I would block someone whom I use to consider a friend.

 

I was unfriended by an ex-"friend" but no, I have never blocked anyone.  Why would I need to block them? 

[HS Mom in NC]

I disagree.  Facebook is no substitute for meeting friends for social interaction - not even close. 

 

You're over stating it.  No one claimed it is a substitute for meeting people in person. I said many of the same social rules apply.  That's because it's a similar type of social situation. It's not all or nothing.

 

 

It is merely a conduit for information.  

 

That may be how you use it, but that's not how the vast majority of people use it.  You are aware it's called "Social Media" right?  That's the accepted term because the vast majority of people use it as a tool for a type of social interaction.  Just because you're in the extreme minority who use it very differently than most people, doesn't mean others can, should or will do it your way.  The cultural norm is that it's one of many different ways to socialize.

 

 

At any rate, if someone in personal interaction does say something really offensive, I would confront it head on. 

 

No one said blocking or unfriending or hiding or unfollowing was the only thing they would do.  Some people would confront head on, as a matter of fact, I mentioned a situation where I have confronted head on in post.  You can use it how you want, but most people don't need that kind of crap in their social media lives just like they don't need to read books they find offensive or buy scented things that offend them.  They don't watch TV shows that offend them or go to movies that offend them.  They don't tune their radio to music that offends them either.

 

Not every situation requires confrontation, opting out without making it confrontation is an option.  If may not be your personal style or your personal choice, but it can be a tactful way to handle obnoxious behavior.

 

It's not unreasonable to stop spending time IRL with an obnoxious, tiresome, irritating person, so why would anyone choose to continue to spend time on social media with obnoxious, tiresome, irritating people?  If someone did wouldn't we wonder what kind of boundary and insecurity issues the person had?

 

If it is bad enough to never want to see the person again,

 

The equivalent of never wanting to see someone again in cyber public is to block, unfriend, unfollow or hide them.

 

it is significant enough to confront.

 

See above.  Also, confrontation isn't always constructive.  Even the Bible tells us not to correct a fool because some people aren't interested in correction and doing better, so confrontation in that situation isn't constructive. 

 

Blocking and unfriending would have to be for really serious stuff, if I were sensitive enough to have to use it. 

Categorizing something as "serious stuff" is subjective.  Not everyone is going to use your criteria.  Also, not everyone considers it the only criteria by which to get rid of someone.  See above about social interactions in real life compared to on social media.

 

Anyone on my Facebook is already someone I feel I know well enough not to be offensive or obnoxious. 

 

What's that like?  Some people are more obnoxious or offensive on social media than they are in real life.  Why?  I dunno.  Maybe because they don't grasp that social media is a social environment, that social rules don't apply or they simply think that because someone is reading their posts, that it's less personal or direct.  Whatever causes that phenomenon, you can be glad that you don't experience it in your FBing. That's not the experience of most people on social media. 

 

There is always "unfollow" for that person that posts 50 times a day, though I haven't used it more than once or twice.  That seems more appropriate to me. 

 

 

 

[Lady Florida.]

 

If those who compile information from quizzes are interested to know that I can recognize any movie star, no matter how far back (got Louise Brooks on a quiz yesterday!), then that is information that they are welcome to have.  I had a mom who watched a lot of movies growing up,  so she shared them with me.   I would never answer anything significant or personal or that asks me to link with anything. 

 

 

 

I hope you read the terms of service and permissions carefully. Very few quiz sites only compile information about your favorite movie star or what food you like or whatever the quiz is about. The subject of the quiz is a cover. 

 

Here are some things you agree to give access to when you take a quiz and agree to the ToS:

 

• Name, profile picture, age, sex, birthday, and other public info
• Entire friend list
• Everything you’ve ever posted on your timeline
• All of your photos and photos you’re tagged in
• Education history
• Hometown and current city
• Everything you’ve ever liked
• IP address
• Info about the device you’re using including browser and language

If you didn’t agree to disclose this information, the quiz wouldn’t work.

 

Source: http://www.wonderoftech.com/facebook-quiz-privacy/

But the above is only one source. Google facebook quizzes privacy and you will probably never take another fb quiz again.

[Guest]

No, I have no one on ignore, though I bet I am on a few ignore lists. ;) I am just not that delicate that I cannot withstand viewpoints contrary to my own. I have never used ignore, to my knowledge (It has been a long time - I should go check, if I can figure out where it is).

 

If those who compile information from quizzes are interested to know that I can recognize any movie star, no matter how far back (got Louise Brooks on a quiz yesterday!), then that is information that they are welcome to have. I had a mom who watched a lot of movies growing up, so she shared them with me. I would never answer anything significant or personal or that asks me to link with anything.

 

Regarding vague-booking, I either ignore it, or just say, "Hey, who are you talking about here, because it's vague!" if I feel I know the person well enough.

 

Sorry, if I posted on the wrong thread. I just happened to see this one and respond to something someone said.

 

I'm starting to see how the bolded might be accurate.

 

My pastor has said before, "There's one obnoxious person in every group. If you're sitting there thinking you don't know any obnoxious people in your group, it might be because you're the one."

[TranquilMind]

I hope you read the terms of service and permissions carefully. Very few quiz sites only compile information about your favorite movie star or what food you like or whatever the quiz is about. The subject of the quiz is a cover. 

 

Here are some things you agree to give access to when you take a quiz and agree to the ToS:

 

• Name, profile picture, age, sex, birthday, and other public info
• Entire friend list
• Everything you’ve ever posted on your timeline
• All of your photos and photos you’re tagged in
• Education history
• Hometown and current city
• Everything you’ve ever liked
• IP address
• Info about the device you’re using including browser and language

If you didn’t agree to disclose this information, the quiz wouldn’t work.

 

Source: http://www.wonderoftech.com/facebook-quiz-privacy/

But the above is only one source. Google facebook quizzes privacy and you will probably never take another fb quiz again.

I don't do anything that asks for any permission at all, but I will certainly look into this. Thanks. 

 

If it asks for permission, I exit immediately.  But if it is lifting my info anyway without asking for permission,  I will block it all if possible. 

Edited to add:  Your article is talking about quizzes that ask you to give permission to access your Facebook account.  I have never done that and will just exit out.  However, I'm sure someone is still stealing and disseminating my info all over the place, no doubt. 

 

From the article: 

Think twice before giving permission to access your Facebook account. Does the developer really need that information? Are you gaining enough to make it worth giving that permission?

You Don’t Have to Give Up on Quizzes

You can still have fun taking quizzes without giving up your privacy on Facebook. Look for quizzes that don’t ask for Facebook permissions.

Edited May 19, 2016 by TranquilMind

[TranquilMind]

I'm starting to see how the bolded might be accurate.

 

My pastor has said before, "There's one obnoxious person in every group. If you're sitting there thinking you don't know any obnoxious people in your group, it might be because you're the one."

 

Goodness, thanks for the personal insult.  So very kind of you. 

 

Yeah, I guess it must be me who is the obnoxious person, because what I said that you quoted was so very obnoxious.

 

???

 

Here were my exact words:  "No, I have no one on ignore, though I bet I am on a few ignore lists (bolding yours). ;) I am just not that delicate that I cannot withstand viewpoints contrary to my own. I have never used ignore, to my knowledge (It has been a long time - I should go check, if I can figure out where it is).

 

If those who compile information from quizzes are interested to know that I can recognize any movie star, no matter how far back (got Louise Brooks on a quiz yesterday!), then that is information that they are welcome to have. I had a mom who watched a lot of movies growing up, so she shared them with me. I would never answer anything significant or personal or that asks me to link with anything.

 

Regarding vague-booking, I either ignore it, or just say, "Hey, who are you talking about here, because it's vague!" if I feel I know the person well enough.

 

Sorry, if I posted on the wrong thread. I just happened to see this one and respond to something someone said."

 

Edited May 19, 2016 by TranquilMind

[Georgiana Daniels]

I hide certain people's posts not because of their viewpoint, per se, but because of the types of pictures they post (usually.) Because my computer screen is huge and within my kids' line of sight, I can't be scrolling and have those kinds of things come up.

 

When I first went back to FB after several years of avoiding, I went for the friends and pics and such. Now I'm much more interested in the private groups. I only belong to a few that are purely social, the others are for very specific information on writing, blogging, etc. I find it a great source of info, plus the platform in the groups seems easier to navigate than most forums.

[73349]

I find FB handy because so many of my friends & family are far away.

 

I limit my friend list to people I know IRL, and only about forty of those, and follow only about ten of them. When people repost things I'm not interested in, I choose "Hide all from [wherever they reposted it from]."

 

A lot of interesting local events are posted, and national/international groups on topics I'm interested in. And then just cute stuff, like the little lambs from Peace Hill.

 

I don't use FB or other web sites on my phone--just calls and texting--so it's not so much of a time suck.

Edited May 19, 2016 by whitehawk

[Guest]

Goodness, thanks for the personal insult. So very kind of you.

 

Yeah, I guess it must be me who is the obnoxious person, because what I said that you quoted was so very obnoxious.

 

???

 

Here were my exact words: "No, I have no one on ignore, though I bet I am on a few ignore lists (bolding yours). ;) I am just not that delicate that I cannot withstand viewpoints contrary to my own. I have never used ignore, to my knowledge (It has been a long time - I should go check, if I can figure out where it is).

 

If those who compile information from quizzes are interested to know that I can recognize any movie star, no matter how far back (got Louise Brooks on a quiz yesterday!), then that is information that they are welcome to have. I had a mom who watched a lot of movies growing up, so she shared them with me. I would never answer anything significant or personal or that asks me to link with anything.

 

Regarding vague-booking, I either ignore it, or just say, "Hey, who are you talking about here, because it's vague!" if I feel I know the person well enough.

 

Sorry, if I posted on the wrong thread. I just happened to see this one and respond to something someone said."

 

Tranquil, it wasn't the single post that I'm finding obnoxious. It's the way you are picking apart several posters on the singular idea that you don't see why a person on FB should be blocked, unfriended, hidden or unfollowed. Since you're saying you find it better to just confront the offender directly, I am following your edict. Your posts in this thread come off as argumentative and trollish. It could be that I've had too little sleep, am having an emotional week, am hearing something that isn't there or really need a piece of chocolate. But I don't get why you are posting in this thread quoting several posters, arguing that blocking and hiding is unnecessary. I find it ironic, because if this was FB, this is just the type of thing I would unfollow.

[LucyStoner]

Did you actually read what Katie wrote that you quoted? They tried to friend her. She said to herself no way and blocked them. They were never actually facebook friends.

Exactly. These people range from estranged with good reason relatives, an old roommate who tried to beat up my now husband and a teacher at my high school who was fired for sexually harassing students. Not people who were my friends anywhere...FB or otherwise.

 

The only one who I was Facebook friends with when I blocked them was a past professional peer and then client who went from strange and intense to aggressive and litigious when I fired him as a client and, as required by the ethics of my profession, I reported him to the secretary of state for gross financial violations and fundraising and tax reporting malfeasance. This prompted all of his staff to quit and most of his board of directors to quit. Needless to say I was on his shit list and I didn't want him seeing anything on my FB page ever again.

Edited May 19, 2016 by LucyStoner

[TranquilMind]

Tranquil, it wasn't the single post that I'm finding obnoxious. It's the way you are picking apart several posters on the singular idea that you don't see why a person on FB should be blocked, unfriended, hidden or unfollowed. Since you're saying you find it better to just confront the offender directly, I am following your edict. Your posts in this thread come off as argumentative and trollish. It could be that I've had too little sleep, am having an emotional week, am hearing something that isn't there or really need a piece of chocolate. But I don't get why you are posting in this thread quoting several posters, arguing that blocking and hiding is unnecessary. I find it ironic, because if this was FB, this is just the type of thing I would unfollow.

It's not me.  Go have the chocolate. 

 

Several others have been able to respond to the idea of the usefulness or necessity of blocking or unfollowing without getting offended.

 

There is no advocacy in my statement whatsoever, so I am clearly not "arguing" for anything.  I merely expressed that it is eye-opening how little tolerance some people seem to have for opposing views, so much so that they have to block and hide things they don't like instead of just raise an eyebrow or shake their heads, ignore them and move on. (Of course I'm not talking about offensive images that might appear where children are present, which one might block for the protection of the kids, just thoughts and words). 

 

Unfollow or block?  You have the option of either here, I guess, if you feel you really need it.  

[LucyStoner]

She said most of them.

I said all but one and that was a professional relationship which went south when I wouldn't participate in hiding his fraud and illegal activites. He'd long been a FB friend because we'd sat on a board of directors together and I raised money from him. That was 3-4 years of congenial contact. Then he asked me to take his organization on a client and I realized I had to fire him and diligently report his hijinks to the authorities. At that point he verbally threatened me referencing a knife and tried to sue me (quite unsuccessfully I might add). When I have to do in person interviews with the AGs office, the Sec of State's office and call the IRS, it's safe to say that we.aren't.friends.

 

Tranquil, you have posted argumentative posts on this thread and have posted your negativity on this thread more than any other poster has posted at all. That doesn't come across as someone who doesn't get her nose out of joint about people disagreeing with her. You sound like this is really important to you. But why would that be since you only use FB rarely or for quizzes? Maybe let it go and walk away without having to nitpick other people's posts.

Edited May 19, 2016 by LucyStoner

[kentuckymom]

I haven't read this whole thread, but, yes, I'm also net positive on Facebook and I agree that it can be great for introverts and lead to conversation starters I wouldn't have come up with on my own. I wouldn't have known that a friend from my late teens and early 20's whom I hadn't seen in about 15 years died last year if her close local friends had not tagged her Facebook account to talk about her unexpected death. We had no mutual friends. I had never met her family. I would have just noticed that she stopped posting on Facebook and wondered why. Then my Christmas letter would have been returned. At that point I might have googled her and found an obituary. It was much better to find out via Facebook and be able to express my grief via Facebook with the rest of her friends and family.

 

Yes, sometimes Facebook is annoying, and I do have to make a serious effort not to spend too much time there, but I still think, in my life in particular, that it's much more good than bad.

[Lady Florida.]

It could be that I've had too little sleep, am having an emotional week, am hearing something that isn't there or really need a piece of chocolate. But I don't get why you are posting in this thread quoting several posters, arguing that blocking and hiding is unnecessary. I find it ironic, because if this was FB, this is just the type of thing I would unfollow.

 

It's not just you.

[TranquilMind]

I said all but one and that was a professional relationship which went south when I wouldn't participate in hiding his fraud and illegal activites. He'd long been a FB friend because we'd sat on board together and I raised money from him. That was 3-4 years of congenial contact. Then he asked me to take his organization on a client and I realized I had to fire him and diligently report his hijinks to the authorities. At that point he verbally threatened me referencing a knife and tried to sue me (quite unsuccessfully I might add). When I have to do in person interviews with the AGs office, the Sec of State's office and call the IRS, it's safe to say that we.aren't.friends.

 

Tranquil, you have posted argumentative posts on this thread and have posted your negativity on this thread more than any other poster has posted at all. That doesn't come across as someone who doesn't get her nose out of joint about people disagreeing with her. You sound like this is really important to you. But why would that be since you only use FB rarely or for quizzes? Maybe let it go and walk away without having to nitpick other people's posts.

 

Actually, your reading is inaccurate.  I'm not posting "negativity."   I'm not the one who feels the need to censor others and their viewpoints and shut them down. 

 

Indeed, an accurate reading would determine that I am against this very thing.