Evaluating Writing

[Tree House Academy]

My 4th grader son is just starting to learn to be a good writer. We are using Calvert 4th this year and he is really having to do lots of compositions. The problem is, I am a writer. I know, big problem, right? Well, actually, it is. I have a hard time reading a child's writing and thinking it is ever "good." I have no idea what I am looking for in his writing and I am afraid I am being way too hard on him with regards to it. Can anyone recommend a resource that will show me what I should be looking for at this age/stage? I have read about "Evaluating Writing" which is part of the Writing Strands publications. Would this be a good resource? I just want to make sure I am not slighting his abilities by comparing them to what someone with an English degree who has written her whole life thinks is "good."

 

If it helps, here is something he wrote today...just a paragraph using his step-by-step planner.

 

 

What I Do at Basketball Camp

 

 

 

For a week in the summer, I wake up every morning and go to basketball camp. I arrive at 8AM and have free shooting for one hour. At 9AM we jog in place for 10 minutes. After exercising, we break into small groups and we play gotcha, practice shooting, dribbling, and blocking. We eat lunch, then enjoy games like tag and gotcha until time to go home. I can’t wait until next summer when I get to go back to basketball camp.

[Alana in Canada]

This is fine! I have a ten year old and would be thrilled if he were able to write so well.

 

The fourth sentence is bothering me though. It's a run-on sentence--has he covered that in his grammar program, yet? If he has, gently show him how to break it up into two, like this:

After exercising, we break into small groups. We play gotcha and practice shooting, dribbling, and blocking.

 

(His clue is the second "we" and the original comma after "gotcha.")

 

As for a rubric: go through his grammar book and insist he apply what he has learned. I think you have a great budding writer.

[Jen500]

One thing I do with my boys' writing is to look at some samples they've written 6 months or a year ago. I'm looking for improvement over time. For a while I was frustrated with ds1's writing...until I read some of his pieces from last year and realized how much he had really improved.

[Tree House Academy]

I disagree that #4 is a run on sentence. I do, however, dislike the wording. It is not two totally seperate thoughts. When you break the sentence, it sounds choppy. I like that he is trying to merge sentences together to "stretch" them. And gramatically, it is not incorrect. However, if I were going to write it, I would have said, "After exercising, we break into our smaller groups and practice the skills we are learning by playing games like "gotcha."

[Colleen in NS]

I have no idea what I am looking for in his writing and I am afraid I am being way too hard on him with regards to it. Can anyone recommend a resource that will show me what I should be looking for at this age/stage? I have read about "Evaluating Writing" which is part of the Writing Strands publications. Would this be a good resource?

 

Does Calvert offer some type of writing evaluation? Or can you tell from Calvert's writing and grammar instruction what ds should know and should apply to his writing? That's what I go by here, to evaluate my kids' writing. If they are applying the skills they've learned, then it's a good piece of writing and progress is being made. I've heard good things about the Writing Strands book, too, so it might be worth looking into. I don't know if it's for younger kids' writing or not.

 

After exercising, we break into small groups and we play gotcha, practice shooting, dribbling, and blocking.

I do, however, dislike the wording.

 

I like that he is trying to merge sentences together to "stretch" them.

 

And gramatically, it is not incorrect.

 

This is why I asked the questions above. I don't think it's grammatically correct, and I can identify *some* reasons why, but not all (because I haven't studied grammar far enough yet). Diagraming it would be a good way to figure out why you don't like the wording. If it can't be totally diagramed, it needs to be fixed. But, if your ds has not learned some of the grammar yet, then he can't know how to correct it. But I am impressed that he is trying to make longer, interesting sentences - he's going for variety of sentence style, and that makes it interesting.

 

I see two grammar problems. First, it's a compound sentence which needs to have a comma after "groups" to help join the sentence skeletons together. Second, in the second skeleton of the compound sentence, I see a compound predicate that has not been joined by a conjunction (and).

 

Here is how I would correct it. After exercising, we break into small groups, and we play gotcha and practice shooting, dribbling, and blocking. If there is anything else in here to fix, I don't know what it is (but maybe someone else does) - but with the minor corrections of those two grammar items, it makes a GREAT sentence! Or you could break it into two simple sentences. After exercising, we break into small groups. Then we play gotcha and practice shooting, dribbling, and blocking. His ideas are there, he just needs to have the step by step instruction. Which is your greater question, right? Not me dissecting his sentence, LOL! If it were me, I'd be using the grammar and writing lessons he has already had, and helping him to apply the skills he has learned. (maybe he hasn't even learned yet about compound sentences and compound predicates and such, or even how to diagram - in which case, if he's got thoughts like what he demonstrated already, you can use the opportunity to teach him some advanced skills, or you can help him break the sentences down into sentences that fit the skills he knows already - it's up to you).

 

hth!

[Tree House Academy]

I am reminded of this sentence when thinking of whether or not something is a run on. Grammatically, this is a correct sentence:

 

During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of country; and at length found myself, as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the melancholy house of Usher.

[Alana in Canada]

Well, technically, I've only had two or three lessons from R&S4 on run-on sentences, so I apologise for getting that wrong, Mom.

 

Guess I'd better go brush up. (And I mean that. )

[Colleen in NS]

I am reminded of this sentence when thinking of whether or not something is a run on. Grammatically, this is a correct sentence:

 

During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of country; and at length found myself, as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the melancholy house of Usher.

 

Hi,

 

I didn't say anything about a run-on sentence (because I also didn't think your ds' sentence was run-on), so I'm not sure why you posted this quote under what I wrote. All I was trying to do was demonstrate how using your son's current grammar and writing skills might help him to fix his sentences so that they are grammatically correct. I think grammar skills (including diagraming) are very useful in being able to write clearly, and in being able to evaluate writing.

[Alana in Canada]

During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of country; and at length found myself, as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the melancholy house of Usher.

 

Colleen, I think that was for my benefit.

[Colleen in NS]

Colleen, I think that was for my benefit.

 

Maybe it was a mistake, but it's posted under my post. :confused:

[Alana in Canada]

How does she NOT post it under your post?

 

I thought these posts were linear, now. At least, that's how I always use them--I wouldn't know how to do otherwise.

[Tree House Academy]

Oh gosh! No, I didn't mean it to offend anyone. I was just giving an example of a really long sentence that was, in fact, grammatically correct. I have a BA in English and I was not concerned, really, about the sentence. I was more concerned about finding a guide to help me work on not judging his writing so harshly given my background.

 

I do appreciate your input and my post was not meant to offend. The reason it came after your post, Colleen, is because when I posted to the first comment, it was after you had posted. It was not in response to your post. And, in both cases, was not meant to offend - only defend.

[Kris]

My 4th grader son is just starting to learn to be a good writer. We are using Calvert 4th this year and he is really having to do lots of compositions. The problem is, I am a writer. I know, big problem, right? Well, actually, it is. I have a hard time reading a child's writing and thinking it is ever "good." I have no idea what I am looking for in his writing and I am afraid I am being way too hard on him with regards to it.

 

You are exactly right -- I had the same problem. I was evaluating my son's work based on *my* experience -- not fair at all! I collected grade-level rubrics and used those. He was much happier after that. :D

[Hannah]

I collected grade-level rubrics and used those. He was much happier after that. :D

 

What are grade-level rubrics and where do I find them?

[ThelmaLou]

You might find this book helpful with regards to rubrics and assessment:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Creating-Writers-Assessment-Instruction-Revisers/dp/020561910X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1222192560&sr=8-1

 

It helps break down assessment into the categories of ideas, organization, voice, word choice, sentence fluency and conventions. I've used it along with IEW for a writing class I teach at our co-op. I'm also using it at home with my own kids.

 

I sympathize with the difficulty of assessing student writing. My degree and certification were in English, so I was initially expecting too much from my own kids. I often found myself unable to explain why something didn't sound right. Instead I wanted to just edit the paper for them, which didn't do them a bit of good. There are scores of books available on the 6 Traits, but I found this one to be the most helpful.

[Kris]

What are grade-level rubrics and where do I find them?

 

I got a few of from a local teacher. Unfortunately, I don't think I have them anymore, but I'll dig around in the old boxes and let you know if I find any of them. If you Google fourth grade writing rubrics, that can give you a start (or whatever grade you're looking for). There was a pretty good site that I had bookmarked, but unfortunately the first link I tried to pull up was no good. Looks like they just linked to rubrics on other sites and didn't maintain them on their own server.

 

Hope this helps get you started!

[Colleen in NS]

Oh gosh! No, I didn't mean it to offend anyone. I was just giving an example of a really long sentence that was, in fact, grammatically correct. I have a BA in English and I was not concerned, really, about the sentence. I was more concerned about finding a guide to help me work on not judging his writing so harshly given my background.

 

I do appreciate your input and my post was not meant to offend. The reason it came after your post, Colleen, is because when I posted to the first comment, it was after you had posted. It was not in response to your post. And, in both cases, was not meant to offend - only defend.

 

Phew, glad you cleared that up, I wasn't sure what was going on! :D

 

That long sentence you posted was fun to read. I could tell it was gram. correct, and it was fun to dissect it to find the skeleton. I'm becoming a grammar geek, heh heh....I never knew how much fun grammar could be, or how useful!

 

Which is your greater question, right? Not me dissecting his sentence, LOL!

 

So I hope you find something useful to you! :)

[Tree House Academy]

The long sentence I posted is the first sentence is Edgar Allen Poe's Fall of the House of Usher. :)

 

Thanks for the advice on the rubrics book. That helps a ton!