Halftime Hope Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I'm going to look up the work of the psychologist referenced in this piece. It's too easy to become "roomates" with a spouse. Sometimes the intimacy needs a kickstart. Enjoy this article: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=pay&bicmp=AD&bicmlukp=WT.mc_id&bicmst=1409232722000&bicmet=1419773522000&kwp_0=7760&kwp_4=56787&kwp_1=120206&_r=0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Thanks for sharing :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I enjoyed reading that. This part stuck out to me a lot. "Ours was the kind of accelerated intimacy I remembered from summer camp, staying up all night with a new friend, exchanging the details of our short lives. At 13, away from home for the first time, it felt natural to get to know someone quickly. But rarely does adult life present us with such circumstances." This is how dh and I got to know each other. Neither of us was looking for a romantic relationship. We were both just looking for new friends and started going out with a group of people after our kung fu classes. Half the time we'd talk in that group of people as if we were the only 2 present, simply sharing things about ourselves. Then we'd go our separate ways and later that night I'd be up late on the computer doing schoolwork or studying for an exam and he'd be editing some scene he had filmed earlier that week. We'd talk to each other on instant messenger for hours in the middle of the night. That quickly evolved into hanging out more and a romantic relationship formed before we even really admitted it to ourselves. 7 months later we were married. And here we are today it's our 7 year anniversary and we still engage in the deep conversations that started everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 So, I read the article and while it was interesting, I got this sort of creeped-out crawly feeling when I thought of myself answering all those personal questions with a stranger or near stranger. I guess I'm just a very private person. Giving and receiving that highly personal knowledge with someone I haven't known for a VERY long time would wig me out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendy not in HI Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 There was something really sweet about that. Thanks for sharing! I think I will print out the questions for date night conversation... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted January 15, 2015 Author Share Posted January 15, 2015 So, I read the article and while it was interesting, I got this sort of creeped-out crawly feeling when I thought of myself answering all those personal questions with a stranger or near stranger. I guess I'm just a very private person. Giving and receiving that highly personal knowledge with someone I haven't known for a VERY long time would wig me out. I think the key is that you have to be willing / want to be that open or intimate with someone. The article as much as confirmed this at the end, when she was giving her caveats about the experiment. :-) In my case, dh and I both want more "heart intimacy", so it's all good. It's hard to work on things that are not surface level because we're too busy making it through the crises. (It's been quite a year--I hope February and following months are better, because January has been a continuation of 2014! Sigh...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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