TKDmom Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 I know this has been discussed before, but I need some input. DD13 has a birthday party coming up. We want to invite some friends for a beach day. We don't want people to bring gifts and give her more "stuff" that she doesn't need, especially since some of the invitees are new friends and won't know dd's interests. How do I tactfully ask for no gifts? Cards are fine. Gift cards are fine if they don't want to come empty-handed. I was thinking of asking people to bring food to share in lieu of gifts... But dd wants full control over food, lol. We are trying to type up invitations today. Give me some ideas on wording please. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RegularMom Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 It's not considered good etiquette to specify what kind of gift to bring, so trying to limit gifts to gift cards only will be tricky. (It's like asking for money in lieu of gifts -- one should just never do it.) What I would do in this situation is write in the invitations "your presence is the only gift required" or something like that.Then, if good friends approached me separately and said they really want to bring a gift, I would suggest a gift card in that conversation. HTH. Edited for clarity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 My dd's friends have a great handle on this issue. One girl's mom asked for each friend to create something for a scrapbook. It could be a drawing, story, poem, or sweet note. One thing I did for my dd's sweet 16, because I knew that many people would bring stuff even though we didn't want it, was to ask that if they wanted to buy something, they could bring a package of diapers for our local crisis pregnancy center. They loved it! On the invitation, I might say, "In leiu of gifts, dd is collecting x for y charity." or "In lieu of gifts, dd is creating a birthday scrapbook. She would love it if you could create a piece of artwork, a poem, a drawing, or just a nice note to help her remember the friends who were a part of this wonderful day." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 My standard wording for this kind of thing when my kids were younger was something along the lines of: "Our family likes to keep things simple, and your presence is the only gift BirthdayChild asks. Homemade cards and similar tokens would be welcome." In later years, when a kid had a favorite charity, we would sometimes add a note that, if guests wished to purchase something in honor of BirthdayChild's special day, she/he requested that guests consider bringing an item to donate to said charity. I know such things are not Miss Manners-approved. I can live with her derision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momling Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Honestly, I wouldn't bother. People like giving gifts... And at 13, many kids are spending their own money and doing the shopping themselves. If it's anything like my daughter's 12th birthday, the gifts were things like a bottle of nail polish, a paperback, a cool pen... Your daughter could always donate them if she doesn't want them. I've twice gotten a no-gift invitation and brought no gift and felt badly when I was the only one who didn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKDmom Posted August 28, 2014 Author Share Posted August 28, 2014 It's not considered good etiquette to specify what kind of gift to bring, so trying to limit gifts to gift cards only will be tricky. (It's like asking for money in lieu of gifts -- one should just never do it.) What I would do in this situation is write in the invitations "your presence is the only gift required" or something like that.Then, if good friends approached me separately and said they really want to bring a gift, I would suggest a gift card in that conversation. HTH. Edited for clarity. That's exactly what I was thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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