PSA: Requiring "corrections" can backfire

[TechWife]

When we started homeschooling, I expected a lot out of my son. One of the things that I expected was that he would correct work he got wrong.   I have discovered that he believes that he doesn't have to do a good job first time through because he will get another chance to do the work. I am not sure when this attitude started, but I believe it was several years ago and I am just catching on. He also believes that there is no use in doing anything that could be graded subjectively - so he no longer cares about writing or about doing discussion questions well. He used to be a good writer, but I've noticed that his "skill" was going downhill over the past couple of years. It probably didn't go downhill, at least not at the beginning, he just gave up. He's the kind of kid that takes a 95 on a paper as a personal insult. The B's he's been making lately have just reinforced his idea that there is no use in trying, because he doesn't see that as "good enough." 

 

If only I'd known. 

[Tsutsie]

Thank you for posting this. I have no wise words to offer, but I'm going to take this as a warning when I correct my 2 younger children (9 and 6) - I can see my son feeling the same way in a couple of years.

 

Best of luck.

[VaKim]

I don't know about the corrections part of your post, but I can relate to the perfectionism. I was one of those kids. I was always at the top of my class in ps until around 10th grade. Then, when things got a bit harder, I was no longer the best, so I just gave up. If I couldn't be perfect, why bother? That is a hard thing to conquer too. I still have a problem with it in things like housework. I will know that something needs cleaned, but if I don't have time to do it completely and perfectly, I don't do anything. I have to force myself. 

 

My youngest dd has the same tendencies. I still don't give her grades, even though she is in high school. I have talked to her often about the perfectionist thing, and how nobody is perfect and even if you could be, what would that matter? She does seem to be getting better.

[tabinfl]

Thank you for bringing this up. I generally require my kids to correct their work, and I don't put grades on things yet. In some areas (spelling in particular, since I was seeing that trend already) I do give extra rewards for getting fewer wrong to begin with. I think I will expand that as we go forward so there's more motivation to put forth the effort the first time around.

[Mystie]

I don't know about the corrections part of your post, but I can relate to the perfectionism. I was one of those kids. I was always at the top of my class in ps until around 10th grade. Then, when things got a bit harder, I was no longer the best, so I just gave up. If I couldn't be perfect, why bother? That is a hard thing to conquer too. I still have a problem with it in things like housework. I will know that something needs cleaned, but if I don't have time to do it completely and perfectly, I don't do anything. I have to force myself. 

 

My youngest dd has the same tendencies. I still don't give her grades, even though she is in high school. I have talked to her often about the perfectionist thing, and how nobody is perfect and even if you could be, what would that matter? She does seem to be getting better.

 

I was the same way, and was homeschooled. I had a similar feeling at 12 & 13 (I went to community college at 16), but my mom let me self-correct and she rarely looked at what I did, so I figured "why bother?" So, now I always check and make them redo based on the experience I had where my mom didn't correct any work. Funny how your experience is the opposite. 

 

I require my kids to correct their math but don't put grades on the paper – it's complete or incomplete. But, it has to be corrected the same day, before they can go off for any free play. So, getting things right the first time is the only way to save time and get their free time after lunch. For writing we have a day for drafting, a day for editing, and then it's due the next day, each step has to be finished on the day it's assigned before they are done. Those are the only two things we do that require output that might be graded or corrected. 

 

I'm sorry you've had this experience. Thank you for sharing it. It's something I'll definitely keep my eyes open for as my kids near their teen years.

[VaKim]

I was the same way, and was homeschooled. I had a similar feeling at 12 & 13 (I went to community college at 16), but my mom let me self-correct and she rarely looked at what I did, so I figured "why bother?" So, now I always check and make them redo based on the experience I had where my mom didn't correct any work. Funny how your experience is the opposite. 

 

I require my kids to correct their math but don't put grades on the paper – it's complete or incomplete. But, it has to be corrected the same day, before they can go off for any free play. So, getting things right the first time is the only way to save time and get their free time after lunch. For writing we have a day for drafting, a day for editing, and then it's due the next day, each step has to be finished on the day it's assigned before they are done. Those are the only two things we do that require output that might be graded or corrected. 

 

I'm sorry you've had this experience. Thank you for sharing it. It's something I'll definitely keep my eyes open for as my kids near their teen years.

Not sure which part was responding to my post and which to the op. :)  But just in case, I wanted to clarify that I definitely check my dd's work and do make her redo any missed (which is rare anyway), but I just don't give grades.