Encouraging Independence--I'm tired of driving the train . . .

[momacacia]

Trying to do this with my 9yo. She is pretty happy to work independently, and in fact works a lot better off in her room on her own undistracted by baby and 5yo. She probably really wouldn't mind a workbook-based homeschool. However, the currics I have chosen are obviously not terribly independent (although I am seeing RS C doing a bit more of that once teaching time is over).

 

I want our homeschool to be "teacher intensive" to a certain extent because I want to engage with them, but I have to teach 5yo, and 9yo needs to keep moving along in life in spite of the rest of us. She likes to read and do her work, but I'm constantly, "Is writing homework done? Have you done your reading? Okay, let me tear you away from playing with youngers or Rainbow-looming so we can do math, etc."

 

How do you encourage kids this age to move to the next thing independently and not just devolve into playtime when mom is not directing the next step? I feel like I have to drive every part of the day. I wouldn't even mind if she came and told me, "Mom we gotta sit down and do LA now." And school just goes on and on through the day. Maybe each subject needs time limits? Maybe I need to just lock us up in the schoolroom for 5 hours until all the work gets done? A better checklist? Create an assignment book and keep referring her to it until the day's work is done?

 

Heeeeeelllllllp! I'm so tired of telling people what to do. All. Day. Long. :glare:

 

 

[Momof3littles]

One thing that helps me is that we have been in a small, academic co-op with long time friends for a few years now.  The kids end up "front loaded" on instruction, and then often have things to do as followup projects during the week.  I don't have to necessarily *instruct* for all of those subjects.  We do math on our own, but they have a lot of little things to do that don't require as much instruction from me as we'd typically do. 

 

My son is 10, and it has been a great joy this year to set him free with a history reading assignment, then ask him to write a paragraph about some aspect of it (sometimes he chooses, sometimes I choose or narrow the scope for him).  I've also tried this year to make sure everyone has a book nearby during school time that they can pick up if I am tied up with another child.  We keep a lot of history books out on our bookshelves, but I do rotate out some of the books from the history cycles we aren't currently in.  When I need something for them to do, I will often direct them to pick something off the history shelf.  I did a better job with that this year, and I hope to do more of it next year.

 

As part of our co-op they usually have copywork to do, so they can work on things like that in their binder.  When my 10 yo had downtime this year while waiting on me to finish with his siblings, I'd have him review his vocab cards from Caesar's English.  This year I'm going to experiment with index cards in a hinged top recipe box for each kid as a memory work system.  My 7 yo loves memory work, and DS1 has a few things that he could stand to memorize at this point.  They can do that while waiting on me.  We also use a mix of things like analogy books, logic books, daily geography or editing, etc. (not all of those every day!).  This year I may cut the spine off of a bunch and put them directly into binders with copywork and other things they can do independently.  That is a little more busywork type of stuff than I prefer, but I do think they get some benefit from those activities when we do them. 

 

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[AMJ]

As we've scrambled to adjust to several unexpected life changes in our first year of homeschooling I found myself finding alternatives for some topics that the kids could do mostly independently. I posted a list of which subjects I wanted them to work on when I was busy with dear nephew, made sure they understood how to determine a full lesson, and gave them permission to work most in any order they wished. When DN was down for a nap I would then gather my two for the lessons we worked on together.

 

The kids actually quite enjoyed gaining more autonomy, and I ended up nagging them less just to get them to the next lesson. If anyone ran into a difficulty they could talk to me about it while I cared for DN, or we would save it for addressing at naptime.

 

As I start working up a plan for this next year (probably without DN joining us -- he will go to daycare) I will keep this in mind and structure things more for independent learning where ever the kids are comfortable. They work more readily, quickly, and willingly when they are given some say in the matter. My biggest desire is to foster a love of learning, and this seems the best tactic for getting there.

[Lieutenant Stranger]

My kids are 8 and 9 and are pretty independent at getting work done, though they do need for me to be near.

 

We are, however, mostly workbook-based, with the exception of First Language Lessons (I have to help), writing in their journals and looking up vocabulary words. They know at 9:30 to start homeschool, and they will stay at the table until it is finished. Plain and simple. Nothing else will get done until they have finished their lessons.

 

I definitely think 9 is old enough to "own" your work. Does she like to watch TV or movies, play on the computer, go outside with friends, etc? In our house, none of that can happen if work is not finished.

 

Also-- check out the book "The Entitlement Trap." It has completely changed how things are done in our household. The kids have much more responsibility in their lives-- including my daughter "owning" practicing her violin for 1 hour a week (3 days of 20 minutes, she decided). 

 

 

[FO4UR]

Not all of mine are independent, but my dd9 is.  I can tell you how things go for her right now.  

 

 

She has to do math, reading and writing every day.  (She finished her spelling book for the year.  She used to bring that to me when she needed me for those lessons.)  She chooses between CLE, LOF and Khan for math.  (It's been Khan for over a month.)  She chooses a book to read.  (Her shelves are filled with good books, no twaddle to worry about.)  She writes.  (This works b/c she is born writer and she's young enough that I have felt too much instruction - at this point - wouldn't be beneficial.)

 

She has a pile of workbooks that she can choose from, Crit Thinking Co. and Barnes & Noble type wb.  She has made her own checklist in a spiral notebook, and puts a sticker for each day she works in one of these.  I do not assign these. I do keep my eyes out for things that I think will capture her interest. 

 

We have an unschool-ish flare going on, but it's not really unschooling b/c I do give strict perimeters....just plenty of freedom within the perimeter. The only things that *I* taught this year were math & spelling.  (We do history and science and literature as a family.)  I only taught math if she got stuck.

 

 

For the upcoming year, we will shuffle some things.  She will have some more organized composition lessons.  Spelling will be completely independent.  Basically, I'm trying to keep the same amount of freedom within the day, but let go of the things she really doesn't need help on and offer more where she will benefit most.

[Chrysalis Academy]

I feel your pain.  We aren't there yet either.  Part of my problem is that I have a hard time letting go of control. 

 

One thing that has helped me is to just reduce the number of things we do in a day.  It was hard at first to let go, but sometimes less is more.  If I'm just dragging everyone through, including myself, to check stuff off, probably my kids are not benefiting from all of it.

 

This is huge, HUGE!   I have also wanted my kids to be more independent, and it finally dawned on me that if I filled up the whole day with me-led stuff, by the time we were done with that, all they wanted to do was go play.  If I want them to be more independent/interest led with their learning, I have to create some space within the school day.  I've also been successful with less is more - as we're getting toward the end of the year and finishing things off, I don't add anything back in, and the time that creates has been filled in interesting ways.  There's some stuff that just won't get added back in next year, because that time and space is more valuable.

[MinivanMom]

One of the biggest things that helped my oldest was giving her a daily checklist. Just being able to see everything listed out helps her to be self-motivated. Before the checklist, I was directing everything so she had to wait for me to tell her what to do next and she never knew when her day was going to end. Now she knows that once she finishes x, y, and z, then she's done for the day. If she needs me to do assignment y with her and I'm busy with a younger child, then she just looks at her checklist and jumps ahead to z until I'm available to help her. It has made a huge difference in her work ethic and has greatly reduced the total time she spends on schoolwork.

 

The other thing that has helped is to organize her day so that she has downtime built in. Her daily checklist lists her math assignment first, then her grammar assignment, and then piano practice before she gets a break before lunch. She considers the piano to be relaxing downtime, and she usually uses her break to play in the backyard with the younger kids (sometimes she reads or writes in her journal instead). She works quicker when she knows there's a break at the end of it. After a break she's fresh and ready to work again.

 

The other thing we do is that I have never let dd wander off to do her schoolwork or get distracted by other things. She does her work at the kitchen table and she doesn't do anything else until it's time for a scheduled break. I never have to gather her back in, and she's never in her bedroom or the playroom where she could get distracted. If the little kids are a problem, then I move them outside or to the playroom. I keep the table as a sanctuary for schoolwork.

[Dory]

They have pages taped to the end of our kitchen island that list what subjects need to be done on what days. We have a marble system here. When they fill a jar with marbles, they get to pick a field trip destination (within reason of course. I give them feasible options.) They get a marble for finishing their morning chores without nagging, a marble for piano practice without nagging, and a marble for doing their school work for the day without nagging. All three of my kids have gotten pretty good at moving on the next subject. I am still involved, but I don't need to be constantly nudging them forward in the day. In fact, my dd just plopped her grammar down in front of me. Her way of telling me to quit working on the computer (I've been sorting book lists) and help her with grammar.

[momacacia]

Thank you all! Sounds like we need a good daily checklist and reward system until habits are formed.

[Dramorellis]

This is where using workboxes has been really beneficial to our day. They know in the morning exactly what they need to do each day by checking through their boxes. The 7 year old has figured out that the sooner he finishes, the sooner he can do what he wants to do. If he sees me busy with his sister or the baby, he knows to skip to a box he can do independently and then we go over it together when he is done. Instead of pestering me while I'm trying to do math with her brother, the 4 year old rummages through her boxes until she finds something she wants to do. Since it's all ready to go (paints, pre-cut crafts, etc.) I don't have to stop my flow to arrange/assemble things for her. I do keep it consistent for the most part. For example we do spelling on Tues. and Thurs. My son tolerates it but it's not fun to him. However he knows if he just gets it done (accurately, neatly) then he has Word Ladders or reading in the next box, which he loves, so it's the reward and motivation to not waste too much time.