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My fil has a service dog. Can I ask him not to bring it to my house or at least not bring it in my house? This isn't a seeing eye dog, it's a small registered service dog but didn't go through official training or anything. He has a special license which allows him to take the dog basically anywhere. It's a good dog, but I'm not a dog person and I have kids with allergies/asthma that we suspect is due to animals. Please understand I mean no disrespect to animals, or to my fil I simply am curious if and then how I could politely ask for the dog to remain home if they come over. It is a clean dog, but if their allergies are indeed due to animals, then we really can't have any pet dander in the house or n the furniture.

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There has been a lot in the news lately about "registered service animals" that aren't legally recognized as such. Basically, one can mail-order a certificate that looks official but really doesn't prove anything. 

 

The Americans with Disabilities Act spells out the law: http://www.ada.gov/service_animals_2010.htm

 

However, there are obviously other ramifications when it comes to a personal relationship being affected by this. 

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Why does he have the dog? Is it for something that can be otherwise accommodated while he's visiting at your house? Could you offer to make sure that he's well taken care of while at your house so that he doesn't need it then?

 

Also, if you explained that you strongly suspect allergies, I doubt any caring grandparent wouldn't understand. I think if you, or better yet DH (it's his parents, right?) tells them your reasoning they would probably understand.

 

 

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What does the dog do for him? Can his needs be met without the service dog? If your kids are reactive to animal dander, he should put their needs first unless it's a serious type of service (seeing eye, seizure, etc.) dog. Can your DH ask him and explain that dog dander affects your children's breathing?

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Yes it is dh father.

 

And yes we would absolutely take care of any and every need he had. Dh did say that if my fil was hurt or sick or fell the dog would go get someone or otherwise draw attention to the fact theta he needed help. In which case we would be present at our house to take care of him.

 

We have discussed our children's allergies with them before. So maybe we need to reiterate our concerns.

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This is a very difficult situation, one I have been dealing with as well.

The issue is compounded by the fact that the service dog becomes so much more than just an animal that can help or go for help in certain situations...the animal is a lifeline, a friend, a certain level of confidence for what might be a difficult situation, as well as a sense of independence for the person.

And I can totally understand all of these things. I am in a wheelchair and have a very strong sense/perception of what all of those things individually and combined mean to a person.

BUT...my dd is absolutely, positively TERRIFIED of dogs. She has never had a scary experience, but absolutely freaks when one is across the road from her, on a leash. After so many fits, and nightmares for days after, it is a big problem. We are slowly working on it, reading dog books, trying all sorts of things, but a large service dog is a huge trigger. AND she has allergies, as do I.

The mother of her best friend has a service dog for PTSD as well as physical impairment. She really feels she needs the dog there in order to be sane. This ha severly limited the interaction we can have with the family, and it is very rough.

For her, asking her not to bring the dog is akin to asking me not to bring my wheelchair. Hard for others to see it as that cut-and-dried, but for her, it definitely is.

 

I would definitely be open and talk to your relative about it. Ask him about the possibility of coming without the dog, and listen to his feelings. Assure him that you really want him to come and will make it work regardless, but that you are worried about the kids allergies. Honestly, I the dog is working it should simply lay at his feet for the most part, making clean up minimal.

Good luck, it is a difficult conversation, but definitely one to be open about:)

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My daughter has a certified service dog. She, her dog, is permitted in all public places. There are a few rare exceptions such as operating rooms, etc. Someone's home is not included within this law and we never just assume they welcome her dog. we only take her if invited. We rarely even ask as that puts the other person on the spot. most know about her dog, if they bring it up then we know she is truly welcome.

 

We treat her dog as the gift that she is and try our best to be as invisible as possible. Fake service dogs make it harder for real service dogs every day. For this reason we have to work even harder to show how the right temperament, training and breeding really can produce amazing dogs.

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Fake service dogs make it harder for real service dogs every day. For this reason we have to work even harder to show how the right temperament, training and breeding really can produce amazing dogs.

 

A few weeks ago, I was at our public library when a couple came in, each with a "service dog". The dogs were Chihuahuas. The woman had hers on a leash and it had a red vest that said something like "service dog". Even though it was on a leash, she mostly carried it. The other I couldn't see, because the man had it stashed in the basket under the seat on his walker/wheelchair unit. 

 

Those two dogs yipped and yapped and made a bunch of noise. The couple kept saying that the dogs were "in training", and repeatedly told the dogs to be quiet. They were very disruptive, and it was pretty obvious from the way these folks interacted with the dogs that they weren't legitimate service animals. As I left the library, the security guard was headed over to have a talk with them. 

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