Gift Giving as Kids Grow Up

[songsparrow]

I am wondering how people handle holiday gift giving as kids grow up.

 

My cousin's family has kids who range from 2 to 16. We send birthday & Christmas gifts to the kids. And a Christmas gift to the parents. I am wondering how to handle cutting off gift giving as the kids get older.

 

In another branch of my family, we stop birthday & Christmas gifts when the kids reach 16.

 

But this one particular family is troubling me. We live far away from each other, and gift giving is one of the few connections we have left. I was thinking in this particular family, we'd continue gifts until high school graduation. But the college kids will likely return home for Christmas. I hate the thought of sending gifts for some & having others sit there with nothing.

 

So, how do you handle this type of situation?

[vonfirmath]

In my husband's family, they stop Christmas gifts when the child turns 19 so that's what we have adopted

 

(Absent having other reasons to give gifts. Personal relationship, etc)

 

[Kareni]

But this one particular family is troubling me. We live far away from each other, and gift giving is one of the few connections we have left. I was thinking in this particular family, we'd continue gifts until high school graduation. But the college kids will likely return home for Christmas. I hate the thought of sending gifts for some & having others sit there with nothing.

 

 

One possibility would be to send individual gifts for the younger children but a game or puzzle or food gift for the parents and adult children.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[Ripley]

The gift-giving is a great connection, so if you can - why not continue until you can't or until there comes a natural break?  I'd handle it by sending gifts through college. I'd play it by ear for the years following that, but I'm assuming I'll buy gifts for as long as I can afford to.  Once the kid marries, maybe a couple's gift for the first year then likely drop them. Once the kid has kids of his own, maybe transfer the gift entitlement to his kids. 

 

I tell you what. We're breeders, and I have a lot of aunts and uncles. Some of the years I most appreciated gifts were those ages where I may have traditionally been cut-off: 17 - 24.  Sure I was old enough to not expect gifts, but during those years I was getting my footing on life the little thoughtful gifts mattered ... the aunt who gave me the camera I coveted but couldn't afford, the uncle who gave me cash to put gas in my car, the cousin who baked my favorite cookies ... the book I wouldn't have bought myself, the CD I wanted but couldn't justify the expense of, the care package of food that spared me the pounds of ramen in my pantry.   

[bettyandbob]

I discussed this last year with my siblings and my dh's siblings. We are doing "out of college" 22-24. Mostly we give cash or gift cards to college students anyway because $25 here and there is really what they need and appreciate. So, everyone has attended college and it is contemplated that everyone by my youngest will go to college. (I am starting to wonder about my oldest graduating from college, but that's a different mother anxiety filled issue). 

 

My brother made a point of saying he would be giving my youngest ds presents always (youngest has disabilities).  :)

 

While I am able I will probably send the random gift card to neice's and nephews further into adulthood. The oldest will have debt (med school) and the second is living extremely frugally while working and attending law school.

[cottonmama]

My uncle always used to send a funny card even if he didn't send a gift.  I guess at some point he stopped sending them at all.  Maybe a special card -- funny if that's your thing, or handmade if you do that, or generic if you like -- would be something to ease the transition.