When DH goes out of town. . . how do you handle a fear of being alone

[Jerico]

My hubby travels quite a bit. I think it gets easier over time. I keep a loaded gun next to my bed (its locked up during the day). Extra lights on. The last time he was gone i was also dog sitting my parent's dog (a lab. Our gsp is a weenie)- and i felt much safer. I am considering borrowing her again next time he is gone. We only have one car and since i cannot drive stick shift, my husband takes it to the airport so it kinda looks like no one is home. That kind of worries me a little.

I shower in the morning and not after the kids go to sleep. I am usually kind of a mess. We eat super easy to make food, eat off of paper plates, do easy to no school, wear our jammies all day :)

[Parrothead]

Well, I've not read past page 1 so maybe this has been suggested before.  Get some professional help for your phobia. There is no more inherent danger in being home alone than being a couple at home. Not if you have the right tools and attitude about safety. 

 

Instead of cowering in fear, make yourself strong.  Take some self-defense courses.  Damn the landlord, and have stout locks put on the doors. I don't recommend buying a firearm unless you intend to use it to kill an intruder.  It takes some training to be able to use a firearm under pressure.  It takes a certain mind-set to know that if you pull the trigger you will be taking a life and not have a problem doing it.  Not everyone can develop that "skill". Having a weapon you can't properly use turns it into a liability because the bad guy can take it from you. So unless you know deep down inside that you can shoot someone, don't get a gun for protection.

 

You have one dog now.  Think about getting another one.  A nice big one from the shelter.

 

Don't be stupid about your movements and schedule.  If you always go to piano lessons on Tuesdays at 3p, start changing it up. Leave the house at lunch, go shopping, go to the lesson then go out for a milkshake.  The next time you leave on Tuesday go the other direction.  Make your movements and schedule unpredictable.  Ditch a lesson every once in a while so you come home early.

 

Don't look afraid.  Don't be "that" woman who is afraid of her own shadow, especially at night.  Go sit out on your front porch for a while in the evening.  Make conversation with your neighbors about your dh being gone. "Yes, Bob is traveling again.  It is a good thing I don't depend on him for protection."  In other words make sure the neighbors (and anyone else within hearing range) knows you take your personal and family's safety seriously and are prepared to act. 

 

If you are targeted more than likely it will be a random thing.  Some kid looking for a thrill.  The bad guys that mean business don't want to get caught so they look for easy targets.  Do not be an easy target.  And don't forget that bad things don't happen only at night.  Be aware of your surroundings at all times.  Look for the places someone might be hiding. Lock your vehicle doors as soon as you and the kids are in the vehicle.  Park close to the door. Don't be afraid to ask security to walk you to your car. 

 

Listen to your inner voice. Work on really developing your instinct for danger.  Tell yourself you will not be a victim.  Good luck

[Berta]

Thank you for the blunt talk. The crazy thing is that we have nothing to steal. I'm afraid the dude would be mad about that. No jewelery. A couple of laptops and an ipod. Is that what they want??

 

Yeah, it's a phobia. I know. I just wondered what others did to get through this thing.

 

Thanks,

 

Alley

 

They would also be looking for prescription drugs. Some thieves need enough money/jewelry/electronics to buy/trade to get their next high. If thieves were only looking for high dollar expensive items there would be no robberies in the poor sections of towns. My neighbor where I used to live is a detective and I have heard stories of homes being robbed and all that was taken were change jars and cigarettes.