Mrs Mungo Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 I am going to ask some sort of general questions to help someone on the board, but hopefully help more than one person. What should a wife (especially a stay at home mom) do, if she feels her husband needs a serious mental health evaluation and treatment? Can she do anything if he refuses? If he refuses, what steps should she take to protect herself and her children? What resources are available in your area for her to receive help? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 I am going to ask some sort of general questions to help someone on the board, but hopefully help more than one person. What should a wife (especially a stay at home mom) do, if she feels her husband needs a serious mental health evaluation and treatment? I assume that she has already suggested that he get one. Sometimes people are most comfortable talking first to someone they know like a primary care doctor or a pastor. That can get them started. And while it's not a complete eval, it can be a first step and it adds an ally to the process. Can she do anything if he refuses? Not unless he's imminently dangerous to himself or others. ( If he is abusive to the kids or to her, she can call 911, but that's more likely going to result in criminal charges, not a mental health eval. However, if he's threatening and there is evidence that it is clearly related to mental health (he's hallucinating, etc.) then he might get the eval instead. ) If he refuses, what steps should she take to protect herself and her children? It's hard to say without knowing the circumstances. If she thinks they are in danger, she can move out, or if there is evidence that he is becoming dangerous to himself or others, she can try a hotline (where she might get good local advice) or call 911. What resources are available in your area for her to receive help? Hardly anything except domestic violence shelters. Mental health around here stinks. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 If it is a non abusive mental health issue such as depression, addiction, etc: In the company of another informed and health individual: "Honey, you have an ilness. It needs treatment. I will not engage with you debating as to whether this is true. I am asking you to seek help. Doing this on your own or in your own way or time is not an acceptable response. Please know that I will take steps to protect myself and the kids from the ramifications of your illness, and I won't answer to you about that." Work with a professional or knowledgeable person on appropriate boundaries (such as bank accounts, yelling, provision) If it involves abuse: She needs to get educated on the abuse process and abuse dynamic. She needs to know to not make threats of leaving. Leaving (or making him leave) is only healthy when she does so not as a way to "shake him up so he'll see and get help" but to leave because she and the kids deserve safety - emotional, physical, sexual, financial. She needs to know that she's most at risk if she/he does leave.When/if she's ready she needs a safety plan and people to support her. She needs a professional, and probably treatment for PTSD and breaking free of the abuse dynamic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 Can she do anything if he refuses? Not unless he's imminently dangerous to himself or others. ( If he is abusive to the kids or to her, she can call 911, but that's more likely going to result in criminal charges, not a mental health eval. However, if he's threatening and there is evidence that it is clearly related to mental health (he's hallucinating, etc.) then he might get the eval instead. ) Well, if he's a threat to himself or others there are more options available than just pressing criminal charges. If it's an issue of DV then, at least where I live (WI), they'll take the person in question to jail. There are situations that will fall under the mandatory arrest policy. From there they will have an initial court appearance where bail is set and a 72 hour no contact order is issued. If it's a mental health issue and he's a threat to himself or others, the officer could put him under a psychiatric hold - 51.15 (WI). In the event of DV there's the national hotline which can be reached online at www.thehotline.org or 1-800-799-SAFE. In Wisconsin, the Coalition Against Domestic Violence has list of resources including local ones on their website. Most of these resources have emergency shelter information, support groups (including weekly drop-ins), and resources for children. Another good resource for finding out what her legal options or what state resources are available to her is www.womenslaw.org. Like Joanne said, if it involves abuse, the first priority is the safety of her and her children. Starting out with a hotline (and go for the phone number if she's afraid he might see her internet history) is the best place to start. If it's a non-abusive situation then something like "You Need Help!: A Step-by-Step Plan to Convince a Loved One to Get Counseling" would be a good resource. It should be available at the library. This article summarizes what's in the book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 I don't know what they call it in other states, but in Va there is a Community Services Board that helped dh and me with his grandmother. She refused assistance and did not believe that there was anything wrong with her. It took some time, but they helped us get her diagnosed and on meds. When she refused to take her meds and reached a point where she was a danger to herself, they helped us get her to a safe place. In her situation it was pretty extreme so I don't know what would happen in a lesser case, but there is probably an equivalent in every state. What about meeting with a therapist about the husband and letting the therapist make recommendations based upon the info the wife will be able to give? ETA: Oops, I am not a professional. I stopped short of that. I just wanted to add this for clarification purposes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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