If oldest has a LD, how does that affect youngers?

[Tracy]

My oldest dd8 is 2e, gifted but a slow processor. As a result, I have pared our schooling down to the bare minimum. Like many new homeschoolers, I over-planned the first year with her. I learned my lesson. Now I have a ds5 who is starting some schoolwork, and I had planned a minimalist sort of program for him. But because he doesn't have the processing issues that his sister does, I realize that he will be able to do more, maybe even want to do more. I had not expected to do anything other than handwriting until next fall, but he has already been asking for work. He really surprised me when he asked to start spelling and copywork, as these are very hard for dd8. I think if I had the right book, he would occasionally do some math. But I am reluctant, because I have caused so many tears with my dd.

 

Do you find that having an older child with an LD makes it harder for you to appropriately challenge the younger ones?

[JennW in SoCal]

Tracy -- I fretted about this for years and years. My oldest was (is...) 2E with a very slow processor. My oldest took almost all my energy, from planning to supervising to teaching and I often felt horribly guilty that I was ignoring, even neglecting, my youngest. When they were young we did most everything together, though I would have separate math programs for each of them, or logic or other work books. I had lots of material on hand so when the youngest was 5 he could just do simple math, maybe something with manipulatives while the older worked on his math. It was nice to have the option to give the younger more without the stress of thinking it had to be covered. Read alouds, history, and science, including crafts and projects, were all done together until the oldest was in middle school.

 

But until the youngest started college I felt I had short changed him. Turns out he was perfectly happy being left to his own devices, reading and building legos and drawing to his heart's content all those years. And it turns out he had a perfectly excellent education because he is a very successful college student. He has no regrets about how he was homeschooled, doesn't resent the time I gave his brother. In fact, about a year ago he tutored his older brother through a college math course, via Skype! One day after he logged off from a long tutoring session he came to me to say how impressed he is that I stuck with homeschooling the oldest! I think for the first time he really appreciated what dedication and creativity it took to teach that 2E mind and still challenge his own gifted mind. (No wonder I'm turning grey...) And, btw, the oldest is immensely proud of his younger brother's academic achievements.

 

I'm sure you'll do fine by your youngest, too. Offer some math or fun logic workbooks, make it light, make it fun. You'll figure out the right balance more often than not!

[Heathermomster]

We are in the same boat...It's tough when the elder has the LDs and the younger appears nt. I'm forever looking at my DD, who turned 5yo late December, and attempting to detect an LD...Here's the deal...My DS looks for LDs in her too. He reads to her and helps her with major motor activities on the dry erase board. She can bead necklaces with a needle and thread but will only write in small doses. We try to keep things lite and fun.

 

I started working on subitizing activities early. She has just about completed all three ETC primers and is 3/4 ths of the way through Singapore Essentials A. We stopped for awhile with Singapore because of the handwriting. We just started using MUS primer and combine that with the Essentials. I recently started using LOE with her just to ensure she has a solid reading foundation. She wants to do more and will sit while I read aloud Bible, short stories, and history to DS. She enjoys being piled up on the couch with us.

 

I've signed her up next year for a Friday kindie class, which lasts 3 hours.

 

I've spoken with other mothers and from what I've heard, I probably do more with math, mainly because DS has dyscalculia and I consider dyscalculia to be the most sinister of his LDs. Couple that with the fact that I'm STEM. My DD loves math and has no issue balking about any subject that she doesn't care for. There's a balance somewhere...Not sure I answered your question.

[Tracy]

But until the youngest started college I felt I had short changed him. Turns out he was perfectly happy being left to his own devices, reading and building legos and drawing to his heart's content all those years. And it turns out he had a perfectly excellent education because he is a very successful college student. He has no regrets about how he was homeschooled, doesn't resent the time I gave his brother. In fact, about a year ago he tutored his older brother through a college math course, via Skype! One day after he logged off from a long tutoring session he came to me to say how impressed he is that I stuck with homeschooling the oldest! I think for the first time he really appreciated what dedication and creativity it took to teach that 2E mind and still challenge his own gifted mind. (No wonder I'm turning grey...) And, btw, the oldest is immensely proud of his younger brother's academic achievements.

 

 

This is very helpful. I am finding that ds5 does appear to be happier doing things on his own than his older sister. When I wake up in the morning, he is already up and reading/looking at books (not really sure which it is at this point). Dd8 hates to be alone at all, so it is easy to feel like I am neglecting ds. But he truly doesn't want to be taught. He would rather figure things out by himself.

 

I love the tutoring story. Great one.

[PeterPan]

Just as an aside, before I answer, I just wanna say I HATE those letters LD. To me that means DUMB. I know it shouldn't, and I know we can just define it as learning differently, blah blah. I still hate 'em. My dd has a low processing speed, but to me she just IS different. She doesn't just learn differently, she IS different, lol. But like I said, that's just an aside. :D

 

Sigh, you know, when I read this, it sort makes me feel old. Heather's in the same position I think, where you get this 10 year gap and you've BEEN THROUGH where these things end up... You have the next 10 years ahead of you. We've been through a lot of that. And I think for people who've been through that (can't speak to Jenn's experience obviously), you can end up feeling sort of interventionist and pro-active. So you look at Heather and she's going what do I do to head of dyscalculia, was it my fault, if I know that COULD happen, what would I do to curb and head it off? And me, same deal. I started skip counting with him when I was changing his DIAPERS, no joke. FIRST THING I started doing with him for school (at his request) was math. And phonics, no screwing around with the light stuff, it's right into OG-style and phonograms and phonemic awareness. We're keenly aware what lies ahead and that waiting around changes nothing. We don't push development, but we're right there, getting it in when there's an inkling of readiness, because we know it's gonna be a LONG HAUL and a LOT of exposures before some things click. I just figure it goes back to the Eide's explanation of the mini-columns and how long and how many exposures it takes to make those neural connections.

 

You've gotten burnt, and it's really understandable. And any balancing you do now is normal and probably something that will shift with time. You'll find a comfortable way to work with them. I guess the one thing I wanted to add was the idea that *kids* are different, but that doesn't mean we have to overlook the issues. I'm not saying make it up or worry yourself sick. I'm just saying if you've got one kid with widely spaced mini-columns, why not two or three. And that it could present TOTALLY DIFFERENTLY in kids. He's got the modeling of an older sibling, so OF COURSE he wants to imitate and do school. My boy does too. And in fact he'll ask to do school (or like today, ask me to take photographs of him) as a way to get time with Mom.

 

But I go back to this idea that they're individuals. You could have a workbooky 2nd dc and go oh man, life is good, this one is NT. Then you realize it's the same brain, just presenting in a different way. After all, the DSM attempts to split up things that are interwoven. My ds LOVES school, enjoys workbooks, etc. etc., but he presents with the same *unusual* level of creativity and manipulation of objects my dd did at this age. Might sound like a subtle thing, but that's a big clue to someone being R-brain dominant (at least if you believe the books). I don't consider him defective, because he is who he is. But I'm not going to fail to give him the utmost advantage considering it's downright PROBABLE that he'll turn out to have some weaknesses. Can't say what the mix will be, but I just assume he'll have some. Consistent, reasonable, compassionate work that is developmentally appropriate and enjoyably done never hurt anyone. So yes I do things now with the assumption that reading or math facts could turn out to be really hard for him. Nothing I'm doing will hurt him if they aren't, but they sure might help if there are problems there. And yes I do metronome and vestibular and am getting ready to start digit spans to work on working memory, ABSOLUTELY. Won't hurt him, everything is totally enjoyable, and just might make a difference.

 

Tracy, I haven't kept up with your whole academic story, even though I see your sig a lot. It sounds like you've been really burnt. But you were being diligent and learning. Don't be afraid to feed him good things. If your cricket likes read alouds, read aloud. Do things that are fun and enjoyable and just HAPPEN to start weaving in things you think might be problems later. If you play games, weave your target skills into them (rhyming, skip counting, etc.). Lots of the fun things you do with this age with kids build basic skills. It's ok to do that. I don't think pushing reading per se is important, but I definitely think phonemic awareness is. You can do phonemic awareness and letter sounds and rhyming, then play rhyming dominoes (I got a set through ETA/Cuisinaire, fun fun!), start playing scrabble, etc. etc. None of it has to be formal, just lots of play bringing down some of that content and getting the exposure going, just in little dribbles, so they start to make connections. If you just watch him and feed to tolerance, you'll be fine.

[PeterPan]

 

This is very helpful. I am finding that ds5 does appear to be happier doing things on his own than his older sister. When I wake up in the morning, he is already up and reading/looking at books (not really sure which it is at this point). Dd8 hates to be alone at all, so it is easy to feel like I am neglecting ds. But he truly doesn't want to be taught. He would rather figure things out by himself.

 

I love the tutoring story. Great one.

 

 

You're getting gender and personality differences there.

 

When my dd really wears me out (during that math, whew!), I point out to her what a FUN TIME she'll have teaching her own kids someday, hahahahaha...

[Tracy]

Just as an aside, before I answer, I just wanna say I HATE those letters LD. To me that means DUMB. I know it shouldn't, and I know we can just define it as learning differently, blah blah. I still hate 'em. My dd has a low processing speed, but to me she just IS different. She doesn't just learn differently, she IS different, lol. But like I said, that's just an aside. :D

 

:iagree: I just couldn't figure out a more succinct way of fitting my subject into the space provided. :tongue_smilie:

 

Sigh, you know, when I read this, it sort makes me feel old. Heather's in the same position I think, where you get this 10 year gap and you've BEEN THROUGH where these things end up... You have the next 10 years ahead of you. We've been through a lot of that. And I think for people who've been through that (can't speak to Jenn's experience obviously), you can end up feeling sort of interventionist and pro-active. So you look at Heather and she's going what do I do to head of dyscalculia, was it my fault, if I know that COULD happen, what would I do to curb and head it off? And me, same deal. I started skip counting with him when I was changing his DIAPERS, no joke. FIRST THING I started doing with him for school (at his request) was math. And phonics, no screwing around with the light stuff, it's right into OG-style and phonograms and phonemic awareness. We're keenly aware what lies ahead and that waiting around changes nothing. We don't push development, but we're right there, getting it in when there's an inkling of readiness, because we know it's gonna be a LONG HAUL and a LOT of exposures before some things click. I just figure it goes back to the Eide's explanation of the mini-columns and how long and how many exposures it takes to make those neural connections.

 

I actually hadn't thought to much about him having the same problems. I don't have any concerns at all about slow processing with him. I am using SWR because you just never know what problems might present themselves later, and it give a good LA foundation. But I am more concerned about the fact that my own mindset has become so minimalist, I wonder if I am giving ds enough. He doesn't complain, but he doesn't do much, either. He mostly just sits around, apparently waiting for me or his sister. (No screen time.)

 

 

Tracy, I haven't kept up with your whole academic story, even though I see your sig a lot. It sounds like you've been really burnt.

 

"Really burnt" is probably a bit of an exaggeration. But I do feel pretty guilty about the tears and anxiety I have caused my very sweet dd over something she has almost no control over.

 

I have been so pleased with how we have pared everything down for her. I am such a creature of habit, though, and I have begun to realize that very little of what I have done for her will work with ds. I think he will be able to do more than dd could at the same age. (Maybe we could do grammar or a foreign language, for example, where I couldn't even consider it for dd at that age.) Maybe he will actually need to do more since he seems like more of a school-y sort of kid.

 

I figured that homeschooling the first one would provide me with a bit of a road map for the second. I guess I just don't want to go back to being that same newbie homeschooling mom taking 1-2 years to figure things out with the second one. I have enough guilt over what I did for the first. The first time around, I did too much, and now I fear I will not be doing enough.

 

 

 

You're getting gender and personality differences there.

 

When my dd really wears me out (during that math, whew!), I point out to her what a FUN TIME she'll have teaching her own kids someday, hahahahaha...

 

Yes, definitely. But it is hard to separate the gender/personality differences from the slow processing that absolutely requires my constant attention. It makes me wonder what he is missing because I need to give her so much attention.

[PeterPan]

You know the GOOD thing is, you're here, saying it. It's good to get these things off your chest.

 

Now I'm trying to think with you here. You're saying he just SITS there while you work with your dd? That's so foreign to me, I'm trying to imagine. He sits at a table for 2-3 hours while you work? He sits and watches videos? What does he like to do? Does he have some form of pre-occupation or physical activity or something else he does if you're not working with him?

 

See my guilt is that my ds' time defaults to play (and of course play is GOOD!) unless I get my butt up and do something. My ds is very, very active, so he's usually doing something very active unless I suggest we sit down and read a book, ask if he'd like to do some school work, etc. And with your dd, how many hours a day are you working with her? You know these feelings might be your inner brain telling you ok chick, time to sit down and think up a new plan. What you did WORKED for the past, but they keep changing and growing. Sounds like maybe it's time to shake things up a bit. Maybe this is where you step up to the alternating plan, where he has stuff and she has stuff, and she knows she can work on her independent stuff when you're working with him. And then you actually have to FIND stuff, whatever it is, that she CAN do independently. We're not talking hard stuff or brain-taxing stuff. Might be go play your typing game on the computer or listen to audiobooks or spool knit or whatever.

 

I don't know, that's just what I've had in the back of my mind lately, that it's finally time to up the ante a bit with my ds. It's *ok* to give her some things she does to keep herself occupied while you work with him. She's NOT the only child in the house, and it's NOT reasonable that he goes without his own special time (even 10 or 20 minutes!) and she gets all the time. Sorta warps them psychologically. So sit down and do the logistics thing and see what becomes obvious to you. Maybe you'll find a simple solution you'll feel good about, like adding a couple little optional independent activities to the list that you can refer her to so you can work with him. My ds seems to have kind of an insatiable hunger for interaction, but he's an extrovert. My dd is an introvert. Maybe with your kids it's flipped? I agree with you that you don't want to take advantage of that and do NOTHING one-on-one with him. I'd definitely carve a slot, even if it's just for dedicated play time or something.

[Tracy]

You know the GOOD thing is, you're here, saying it. It's good to get these things off your chest.

 

Thank you. This is good to hear.

 

 

Now I'm trying to think with you here. You're saying he just SITS there while you work with your dd? That's so foreign to me, I'm trying to imagine. He sits at a table for 2-3 hours while you work? He sits and watches videos? What does he like to do? Does he have some form of pre-occupation or physical activity or something else he does if you're not working with him?

 

No screen time allowed before everyone's work is done, because that is all he would do. And even if I give him a limited amount, he asks about it all day. So I just don't allow any until later in the day. If we are busy, he doesn't get any.

 

Yes, he mostly just sits or wanders. He might grab a book and page through it. His reading skills are not quite good enough yet for independent reading. He will walk around, look out the window, come sit on my lap. Occasionally, he will grab a pencil and draw while he sits next to me. If I am using math manipulatives, he will grab them as I finish with them. But if I offer them to him at other times, he will refuse them. I have tried offering some suggestions (we have Legoes, K'nex, Duplos, wooden blocks, match cars, Wikki Stix, Snap Circuits, Play Dough, etc.), but he usually says no. I have tried just leaving things out for him, but that is not much better received. Part of it is that he has some sensory sensivities, but that only applies to things like the Wikki Stix and Play Dough. I think he doesn't know what to do with these things. Dd8 is very creative, and I think he relies on her to direct his play.

 

His only preoccupation right now is Star Wars/Clone Wars. He likes to pretend he is at war. The books he chooses to look at are often about Vikings or Knights and such.

 

See my guilt is that my ds' time defaults to play (and of course play is GOOD!) unless I get my butt up and do something. My ds is very, very active, so he's usually doing something very active unless I suggest we sit down and read a book, ask if he'd like to do some school work, etc. And with your dd, how many hours a day are you working with her? You know these feelings might be your inner brain telling you ok chick, time to sit down and think up a new plan. What you did WORKED for the past, but they keep changing and growing. Sounds like maybe it's time to shake things up a bit. Maybe this is where you step up to the alternating plan, where he has stuff and she has stuff, and she knows she can work on her independent stuff when you're working with him. And then you actually have to FIND stuff, whatever it is, that she CAN do independently. We're not talking hard stuff or brain-taxing stuff. Might be go play your typing game on the computer or listen to audiobooks or spool knit or whatever.

 

I do probably need to start to get her doing some things on her own. She actually is very good at finding things to do--very creative. She just needs to give me a play-by-play of everything she is doing. But she is very good at leaving me alone to work with ds if I give her a heads-up first. So I guess I need to do some specific planning. But what do you do with a barely 5yo that can already do anything in a K math book but is not really ready for a lot more formal work? I have Games for Math by Peggy Kaye, which I really love, but he doesn't seem to need any of those activities. He mostly just gets it. But he loves to ask me things like "What is 60+60?" like he did this morning. I usually just answer him. But this time, I got out the base 10 blocks, and he just shut down. He doesn't want me to teach him.

 

 

I don't know, that's just what I've had in the back of my mind lately, that it's finally time to up the ante a bit with my ds. It's *ok* to give her some things she does to keep herself occupied while you work with him. She's NOT the only child in the house, and it's NOT reasonable that he goes without his own special time (even 10 or 20 minutes!) and she gets all the time. Sorta warps them psychologically. So sit down and do the logistics thing and see what becomes obvious to you. Maybe you'll find a simple solution you'll feel good about, like adding a couple little optional independent activities to the list that you can refer her to so you can work with him. My ds seems to have kind of an insatiable hunger for interaction, but he's an extrovert. My dd is an introvert. Maybe with your kids it's flipped? I agree with you that you don't want to take advantage of that and do NOTHING one-on-one with him. I'd definitely carve a slot, even if it's just for dedicated play time or something.

 

 

We do SWR, so he has that time, but once we start up in the fall, that will not be enough. I tried FIAR with him, but he just didn't care for that very much. Maybe I am the one who wants to do something academic together, but he doesn't really care. Maybe that is my problem. Perhaps what he needs is the dedicated play time. And maybe I just need to get some SM for him for next year and just tell him that is his work, and he can do it by himself or with me and let him choose.

 

You have given me a lot of great things to think about. Thank you.

[PeterPan]

Tracy, I wouldn't do any more academics with him right now than what he's asking for. He's WAY ahead of where my ds (similar age) is, mercy. Honestly, with what you've described, I would focus on social skills, imaginative play, and therapy/sensory activities. I would focus on play, since it sounds like that's where his hole is. Create two 15 min. blocks in your day where your dd knows she's to do something else, and you sit down and PLAY with him. Do something that involves social skills like turn taking, communication, imagination, social roles (mother, father), that sort of thing. Anything you like, playmobil, legos, games, even just a good light saber fight.

 

Then maybe make a list of some sensory things he can do. Has he had any OT for his sensory? Like if you have an indoor single line swing, you can push him on the swing while you supervise dd's math, that sort of thing.

 

To me, those are the holes I'm seeing. I don't mean holes like something is wrong, just what jumped out as I read your post and where I'd probably put my time. Well-chosen games or together play where you work with him sounds like might be good for him. Academically he's awesome, and his own drive is enough.

[Tracy]

Tracy, I wouldn't do any more academics with him right now than what he's asking for. He's WAY ahead of where my ds (similar age) is, mercy. Honestly, with what you've described, I would focus on social skills, imaginative play, and therapy/sensory activities. I would focus on play, since it sounds like that's where his hole is. Create two 15 min. blocks in your day where your dd knows she's to do something else, and you sit down and PLAY with him. Do something that involves social skills like turn taking, communication, imagination, social roles (mother, father), that sort of thing. Anything you like, playmobil, legos, games, even just a good light saber fight.

 

Then maybe make a list of some sensory things he can do. Has he had any OT for his sensory? Like if you have an indoor single line swing, you can push him on the swing while you supervise dd's math, that sort of thing.

 

To me, those are the holes I'm seeing. I don't mean holes like something is wrong, just what jumped out as I read your post and where I'd probably put my time. Well-chosen games or together play where you work with him sounds like might be good for him. Academically he's awesome, and his own drive is enough.

 

 

I think you are right. He has had no OT. We had him evaluated, and the OT would not diagnose him, because she considered him to have sensory preferences that he would overcome when he had to. It is true that he will cope with his sensory issues when he really wants something, but that leaves me with a kid who won't go outside unless I plan a bike trip or a park day with a bunch of friends. Of course, it doesn't help that I have the same sensory aversions. I find it really, really hard to be the one who has to work with him on these particular issues. I cannot stand the feel of the play dough or the Wikki Stix and abhor being outside. So, yeah, he needs some work on that, and I have not been giving it to him.

 

I like the idea of doing imaginative play with him. He used to like to make up stories, but somehow we stopped doing that. I think he would enjoy doing that again. He has no problem pretending Star Wars stuff. Lately he has been "spying" on me and sneaking up on me, because he is pretending he is a Star Wars character and I am the enemy. I turn a corner, and there he is with his light saber.

 

Yes, I can see that a curriculum is not going to be the magic cure here. :tongue_smilie:

[PeterPan]

Was that OT eval through EI or private? Maybe if it was one way, try the other? I think some of these people are idiots. My dd is low tone, so am I. I took ds (then 2) along to an OT appt, figuring she could relieve my mind on whether he is and whether he ought to have some OT to head things off (things that snowballed with dd). She looks at him and goes oh, W-sitting is within the realm of normal at that age, don't worry about. Oh yeah, every 2-4 yo boy I know can W-sit and then lie down flat on his back. ST and ped look at him and go OF COURSE he's low tone. So if the OT is blowing you off, do the therapy activities yourself or find another OT/PT who WILL. Get the Out of Sync Child Has Fun and create some activities. Vestibular is always at the heart of therapy for sensory, because it's the first thing that develops neurologically (from what our OT said). So if your park has a single line swing or you can set one up, that's good. I finally got disgusted because I was paying someone $100 an hour to put my kid on a single line swing. The swing costs $100, so I finally bought one, set it up, and that's what we do. I made my own weighted collar. He's not as likely to use the weighted collar (wiggley soul), but the swing is VERY calming to him, highly recommend. In OT they seemed to do lots of things, 5 min. of this, 5 min. of that, just keeping it going. So if you can look in the book and get some ideas and try them, a few min. each, it's making progress.

 

Note: I'm not saying OT is not worthwhile. It's awesome and helped us. Just some of the people have screws loose, some aren't organized, want to do it all themselves (at $100 an hour!!!!), and don't want to show you the stuff you CAN do at home. I didn't realize that going in. I should have gotten one who was known for giving homework, showing up on time, etc.

 

Play is a hard thing. When I look at Lincoln Logs, I don't actually know what you DO with them. I know they connect, but I don't know how you play with them, if that makes sense. What I do is take his toys to ST and watch how the ST plays with them. Then I come home and imitate. (notice you said he's learning his play by imitation) So what you might do is take a prospective toy you'd like to play with him somewhere else like a church nursery or playgroup or to some cousins, then watch how they play with it. Then you come home and try with him. Maybe don't mix sensory and social skills play right now. My ds enjoys Whackamole and Don't Break the Ice. Also Curious George Discovery Beach Game (Vintage Edition) , Richard Scarry Busy Town , Richard Scarry Airport Game , and Uno . But you know, as I think about it, your boy is so much more advanced than mine, he might not like those. But you could just go to Target and look at games and see. He might be ready for Cataan Junior, Monopoly, or Operation. Just see what might work for him. I've bought a lot of games for him, where I didn't with dd. It keeps things fresh and interesting for therapy sessions and for you. You get bored too! And a game is more defined than a toy, so at least you know what you're supposed to do with it. Puzzles can be good if you take turns and use good social language. Do ones that are large enough to challenge him so you have to work together. My ds is CRAZY for floor puzzles, and when you work on the floor you're putting your weight on your arms, strengthening them to help with writing... Sneaky! :) We really like the Patch floor puzzles Patch Sneaky Sided Floor Puzzle Day on the Farm But Melissa and Doug are fine too. What you're trying to do is be a model for the social skills and methods of play so he can imitate. The toys give you a foil to do that. If he doesn't like the toys you have, go to the store and invest in new ones. I'd MUCH rather have toys than curriculum at this age. I'm not talking Imaginext and weird stuff. I'm talking social, interactive toys, games, things you do together that involve turn-taking, give and take. For me, when I invest in another game or thing of Playmobil, (or cabela's hunting toys, his big fav, hahaha), it's buying me the ability to sit down and know what to do with him.

[Tracy]

Was that OT eval through EI or private? Maybe if it was one way, try the other? I think some of these people are idiots.

 

It was an EI eval when he was 2yo. He had already been evaluated prior and received ST and DT. But I never thought he needed DT, which he qualified for purely because of the W-sit. Now that I know more about sensory issues, I am sure that the W-sit was a symptom of those rather than a problem with core strength.

 

Anyway, I think I had a good OT doing the eval. My ST recommended her and arranged the eval for us. The problem was he did everything that he asked her to do. He is a very compliant kid. And the DT worked with him on the sensory issues, too. But he always did everything they asked. On the other hand, I have a very hard time "making him" play with play dough (or whatever).

 

Get the Out of Sync Child Has Fun and create some activities. Vestibular is always at the heart of therapy for sensory, because it's the first thing that develops neurologically (from what our OT said). So if your park has a single line swing or you can set one up, that's good. I finally got disgusted because I was paying someone $100 an hour to put my kid on a single line swing. The swing costs $100, so I finally bought one, set it up, and that's what we do. I made my own weighted collar. He's not as likely to use the weighted collar (wiggley soul), but the swing is VERY calming to him, highly recommend. In OT they seemed to do lots of things, 5 min. of this, 5 min. of that, just keeping it going. So if you can look in the book and get some ideas and try them, a few min. each, it's making progress.

 

Thank you. This is a great suggestion. I have read the Out of Sync Child, but I hadn't considered the Fun book. I don't think we are prepared to go the OT route. He will do whatever he is told, and then I am stuck with, "He refuses to play outside or get dirty (unless, of course, he is sufficiently motivated by peer pressure)."

 

Do you have a sensory seeker, or a sensory avoider?

 

 

Play is a hard thing. When I look at Lincoln Logs, I don't actually know what you DO with them. I know they connect, but I don't know how you play with them, if that makes sense. What I do is take his toys to ST and watch how the ST plays with them. Then I come home and imitate. (notice you said he's learning his play by imitation) So what you might do is take a prospective toy you'd like to play with him somewhere else like a church nursery or playgroup or to some cousins, then watch how they play with it. Then you come home and try with him. Maybe don't mix sensory and social skills play right now. My ds enjoys Whackamole and Don't Break the Ice. Also Curious George Discovery Beach Game (Vintage Edition) , Richard Scarry Busy Town , Richard Scarry Airport Game , and Uno . But you know, as I think about it, your boy is so much more advanced than mine, he might not like those. But you could just go to Target and look at games and see. He might be ready for Cataan Junior, Monopoly, or Operation. Just see what might work for him. I've bought a lot of games for him, where I didn't with dd. It keeps things fresh and interesting for therapy sessions and for you. You get bored too! And a game is more defined than a toy, so at least you know what you're supposed to do with it. Puzzles can be good if you take turns and use good social language. Do ones that are large enough to challenge him so you have to work together. My ds is CRAZY for floor puzzles, and when you work on the floor you're putting your weight on your arms, strengthening them to help with writing... Sneaky! :) We really like the Patch floor puzzles Patch Sneaky Sided Floor Puzzle Day on the Farm But Melissa and Doug are fine too. What you're trying to do is be a model for the social skills and methods of play so he can imitate. The toys give you a foil to do that. If he doesn't like the toys you have, go to the store and invest in new ones. I'd MUCH rather have toys than curriculum at this age. I'm not talking Imaginext and weird stuff. I'm talking social, interactive toys, games, things you do together that involve turn-taking, give and take. For me, when I invest in another game or thing of Playmobil, (or cabela's hunting toys, his big fav, hahaha), it's buying me the ability to sit down and know what to do with him.

 

 

These are all great ideas. I do like the game idea. It is a little easier to plan and schedule.

 

I am not too terribly worried about social skills. He is polite and appropriate in public and with friends. He is sensitive and has a strong sense of injustice, but it doesn't significantly get in the way. He can be a little bossy, but again, not any more than the average head-strong 5yo.

 

I would like to think that he gets some practice at imaginative play by playing with his sister. But maybe I am just rationalizing the fact that I am not doing it with him. It is hard to tell if she is the only one doing the imagining.

 

Off to take a look at Cabela's hunting toys . . . :seeya:

[Heathermomster]

At the beginning of the school year, DD (P) was 4.5 yo. I sat down with her and very formally started working with her. I sat her down at the kitchen table and whipped out some pre-AAR and guess what? She wanted no part of it and was only interested in the Ziggy puppet. I was really surprised by her noisy and outright rejection of the material. ( I later discovered that P only likes the games with the program.)

 

Crushed in spirit, I called up a friend who homeschools her two eldest children and has a child about 4 months younger than P. She told me that working with P would be different than being with DS,as DS completed up to 6th grade in the classroom prior to coming home. We'd been afterschooling for ages, so homeschooling has been an easy transition. Most of our school study/disciplines were already in place, and DS knows how I teach.

 

My friend reminded me that P was very young and that she would have to learn to take teaching direction from me. In a classroom, these kids go into group mode and comply more readily due to peer pressures and the fact that the teacher is a stranger ie not mom.

 

After our talk, I backed off immediately with the pre-AAR. P hates to color with crayons but loves stickers, stamps, and watercolor paints. She air writes and used the HWT app on the IPAD for capital letter practice. We started playing games more deliberately (UNO, QWIRKLE, Spot It, Connect 4, and Sorry...I hate Chutes and Ladders, so DH plays that..) My DD loves to build with blocks, build the wooden train set, dolls, and cook at her kitchen. The girl plays...

 

I started scribing for her and doing ETC primers with her very informally, cozied up on the couch and without a set schedule. Early spring, DS transitioned and started doing more on his own in the writing and math department. He's mastering skills that we started at the beginning of the year, and I now have time for DD. This change is welcomed as I started to question whether a teaching opportunity would even present itself and actually pondered placing her in a nearby private Christian school. Anyho...

 

We started LOE officially this month. Thus far, the phonics gig and math takes about 30 min. P has a little work table where she can sit close to her brother as he works. On occasion, they will sit together and do school work at the kitchen table. School work involves his math and her play activity (painting, play dooh, c-rods...whatever). We have several books for reading. I'm attempting to make school a big fun event and use her brother as a motivator...I picked up nature readers, Evan Moor booklets with science, geography, and fairy tale activity booklets for next year. These books are good til 2nd grade and not absolutely necessary for Kindie. P grew pretty excited when I took her to the store and helped her select school supplies that her brother cannot touch.

 

I don't know the first thing about the OT issues that you and Elizabeth are describing. I think the games might help. Follow your son's lead. if he wants to do copy work, let him do copy work. We've used rice on a cookie sheet and shaving creme. We have magnet letters that rest on another cookie sheet. MEP reception has the free math program. Maybe look over the downloads and select some pages to try. With Singapore Essentials A, the difficulty picks up near the end of the book. As I recall, Essentials B is a definite step change in expectation and difficulty.

 

I have no idea how our Kindie year will work out. I just want her to love learning and enjoy being home educated. I understand that you don't want to make rookie homeschool mistakes with your second child. I feel the same way but have already made them on the first day...My children are so radically different in temperament and tastes that I simply cannot avoid it. Good luck to you. I'm thinking you and OhE both led me to purchase LOE. Thank-you... Blessings,h